Saturday, June 21, 2008

Not a Crocodile

We can only hope that a breeding population is taking hold and starts eating the gang bangers in the area:
  • An alligator was found in the South Branch of the Chicago River near West 37th Street Friday afternoon, police said.

    The alligator, which is about 5 feet long, was found alive near West 37th and South Racine Avenue in an area of the river known as Bubbly Creek. The reptile was found by an employee at Midland Metal Products, which is located nearby.
Old Man Daley must be very happy in whatever netherworld he ended up in - the river is much cleaner than it used to be.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are some 2-legged crocodiles down at city is about 5 feet tall too.

6/21/2008 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cougars..Alligators..WTF..Grizzly Bears on the West Side..That would be nice...

6/21/2008 02:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

VEGAS????? Is that you????

6/21/2008 03:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Crocodile CPD said...

I am so out of here.

I can deal with the bangers.

I can deal with the drunks.

I can deal with the politicians who are drunk on power and suck up to the bangers.

I can deal with fake Reverends.

I can deal with the media.

I can deal with retired FBI types.

I can deal with my ex wife.(not really)

I can deal with the worst elements of the CPD whether blue shirt or white shirt to include the drunks, bangers, wannabee pols and reverends etc.

I can deal with the fact that I have to walk or bike two hours a day just to stay 30 pounds overweight.

I CAN'T deal with cougars and alligators and pitbulls trying to dine on my tasty overfed Irish self.

I just need to find a nice slightly warmer place to retire to. No oversized cats, poisonous snakes, bears, wild canines, gators, sharks or any other creature that will try to dine on my pasty and tasty flesh.

This is absolutely nuts. Lions and tigers and bears.....oh my.

Gators and Cougars are the name of sports teams.........not something I need to respond to or get eaten by while biking the lakefront.

UPI Chicago

Yesterday, June 29th, an off duty and slightly overweight 22 year veterans of the Chicago Police Department was killed by a pack of wild animals while biking on the Chicago Lakefront Path near McCormick Place around 6 AM.

Cameras at McCormick Place show (insert name here) being paced by a pack of cougars and coyotes who took the opportunity to attack him after he ran over an alligator on the path and fell of his bike.

The cougars and coyotes ripped at his fleshy body until they were chased away by a group of alligators. The alligators then proceeded to finish off what was left of (insert name here).

During the struggle he managed to fire off three rounds from his off duty weapon. One round hit an alligator in the teeth to no apparent effect and the other two were found in a bronzed fireman's boot at the nearby Chicago Fire Department Memorial.

Emergency units responded 45 minutes after McCormick Place Security reported the event. The 911 Communications Director has no explanation for the delay and Mayor Daley has called for an immediate investigation. The Mayor was not immediately available for comment as he was vacationing in Paris with his entire extended family. The Mayor did say he was looking forward to the Olympics and all the money his extended family would make during the festivities.

An unnamed overfed retired Chicago Police official told local Sun Times columnist Michael Sneed that responding units apparently went to the McCormick/Tribune Greco/Roman Monument at Millennium Park instead of McCormick Place.

Funeral arrangements are pending for (insert name here)as the medical examiner is still digging out parts of his fleshy body from various animals. He leaves no immediate survivors except his lesbian daughter who is currently serving in the US Marine Corps in Iraq. The rest of his family was killed in an accident during a tour of a Milwaukee brewery in the late 1980's.

His sobbing and smiling ex wife, Mona O'Toole, was quoted as saying "he was a good man who loved animals, his family, city, church and country and that his death should be considered duty related because he managed to fire off three rounds.

6/21/2008 04:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chicago is truly turning into a jungle paradise.

6/21/2008 04:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The wildlife is taking over in more than one way.

6/21/2008 04:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too bad Steve Irwin is dead,we could invite him to Chicago for some urban episodes,lol...

6/21/2008 04:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the second wild alligator discovered within the last 6 months in Chicago. Contractors ran across a 4 footer a few months ago while working on the Lincoln Park Lagoon.

6/21/2008 05:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's going to happen when the gorillas start running wild???

6/21/2008 05:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe Phleger will adopt the alligator.

6/21/2008 07:44:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Now we have got birds attacking people on the west side,0,753222.storykbird,

What's next locust?

6/21/2008 07:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daley gave orders not to shoot the alligator. He can't afford to have PETA pissed at him and his wealthy Michigan neighbors homes torched.

6/21/2008 07:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Pet Exchange Batman!!!

Let all the wild animals out of the Zoo and put all the shit heads on the street into the zoos. The good citizens can see what a really dangerous animal looks like.

6/21/2008 09:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Marlin Perkins said...

This "Alleged Crocodile" actually Was A IPRA Investigator Robot Camera Dressed Up Like A Crocodile To Fool The Men & Women In Blue & Catch Them In Rules Violations.

Personally I think They Should Have The Gators Do The Crosswalk Checks Instead Of Humans, Watch The Compliance Rate Skyrocket & Mover Revenue Plummet, Le$$ Revenue For The Daley Crime Family!!

That Gator Was Actually J FEDS New Workout Buddy

6/21/2008 09:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Little Mayor Mumbles says:

Alligators, what? Cougars, uh, well ya know, ur-ah, ha ha ha , uh, thats silly, just silly.

6/21/2008 11:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5:27am: Very funny! At least we dont have it as bad as South Africa. People come home to find groups of baboons pillaging thru their fridges & cabinets.

I wonder how many Dicks would stay in the D unit if it was part of their job to go in croc invested waters to get homicide victims/ body parts? Im just picturing some A/3 primadona ordering an 019 guy
to take a swim.......

6/21/2008 12:04:00 PM  
Anonymous po j. mengele said...

Too bad some mad doctor cant invent a croc that can survive our winters, so these vermin can be fed
to the rivers year round.....

6/21/2008 12:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When they took down Cabrini Green they left a hole in the earth and out climbed mountain lions, gators and many other people eating monsters. There are more to come and this is a biblical sign that Barack Huessen Obama is the ANTI-CHRIST and that Chicago is the nether world of the unclean and until November Obama will be the ruler of this hell. After Novenber the earth will open again and swollow up the criminals, whores, dope dealers, gangbangers, polititians/lawmakers and every other piece of shit. Only them will the humanrace be free. I will retire, walk to the local bar, order a nice glass of whiskey, light up a cigar and blow smoke in some liberals face and watch him choke, fall down and watch the aligators and mountain lions eat him or her.

6/21/2008 02:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel like Crocodile Dundee now. Just wait untilt he new GO comes out with PETA's endorsement. You will not be able to use deadly force on a pretty lil animal,you must call Animal Control and get eaten first.

6/21/2008 05:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

po j. mengele said...
Too bad some mad doctor cant invent a croc that can survive our winters, so these vermin can be fed
to the rivers year round.....

6/21/2008 12:27:00 PM

They will,its called adaptation and evolution.While the gators continue to feast on "indigenous" personal the gators body fat content will go up.

The increased fat layer will help them survive the cold.Gators can be found lurking for their next victim near JJ Fish shacks.

6/22/2008 09:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it just me or does that crocodile have a strange resemblence to John Daley

6/22/2008 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger Cpdcoppurr said...

can we have crocodiles in our squad car trunks now??? kinda like the trunk monkey commercials.. i am sure the savages would think twice!!

6/23/2008 11:03:00 AM  

<< Home

Newer Posts.......................... ..........................Older Posts