One Way to Solve Crime
In what officials have hailed as a historic first, California has become the first state to achieve a crime rate of zero after passing legislation to make all crimes completely legal.
"This is a great moment for our state," Governor Gavin Newsom said. "No other state in the nation's history has successfully brought the crime rate down to nothing. California is once again leading the way! Now, please, for the safety of your loved ones, don't venture out of your homes at night. Or at least carry an air horn. Whatever. I don't care."
Analysts point to the state's legalization of all criminal acts as the catalyst for reaching a zero crime rate. "It was a bold but revolutionary move," said Professor Kyle Ray of the California Crime Institute. "California has effectively eliminated all crime from existence simply by making every unlawful or despicable act completely acceptable. Murder, assault, robbery — these are yesterday's terms. Californians are now truly free to express themselves however they choose. Zero crime!"
Yes, it's the BabylonBee. But essentially, this was what New York, California, Washington, Oregon, Minnesota and Illinois (via Crimesha) had been doing for years.
Labels: crime, sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:02 AM
10 Comments:
Welcome to the "Purge".
It’s as if you were in a comedy. The one thing wrong with the whole thing is people’s lives are being destroyed.
Hard to believe anyone can out do Pritzjjer and Johnson when it comes to being dumb
Believe me. They are out there.
Even though this is an article from the Babylon Bee it seems pretty accurate
so, I can shoot a burglar or shoplifter and then that's not a crime?
Sweden did that with sex crimes in the 1970s, and boom - rape stats showed a marked decrease in that crime. Now that the country has invited a goodly share of 3rd worlders inside, those numbers have gone up again. When you decriminalize crime like California has done with shoplifting, not only do you get more of it, you get more people who do a lot worse.
burglar? what burglar? nobody knew he was there... nobody knows nothing, nobody saw nothing, he's on his own and I guess since he done got shot he not going to be a problem anymore for nobody...
the Babylon Bee is funny and often very true - like "The Onion" was in it's best day.
This is very Orwellian 1984.
I worked very hard to defeat the "Matthew Shepherd Federal Hate Crime Law (finally attached to a Defense authorization bill figures) that makes it a Federal Hate Crime to shoot someone with a gun or explosive bomb in the motivation of the attacker was dislike, prejudice against another person's race (Obama's then mixed race Attorney General Eric Holder said only historic victim groups to be hate crime victims, thus not Whites) , sexual orientation, immigration status or of a disability.
I produced videos and wrote a lot of letters to Congressional Aids asking if Chicago's 500+ annual murders that weren't motivated by racial or sexual bias against historic victim groups were not hate crimes, not hateful crimes.
I asked how premeditated murder for motives such as unpaid drug debts, gang rivalries could not be hate crimes, hateful crimes . If so what were these premeditated murders "Love Crimes".
Dem Senator Alan Dixon's Woke Lib assistant tried to explain these other murders were already serious crimes . I then asked him if it was supposedly legal all these years to lynch innocent Negroes or Gay people and it was just now that progressive Democrats were making these racist, anti Gay murders illegal.
Our conversation didn't go on much longer.
JR
California has also found a way to stop all the negative publicity about thefts by fraud from State programs. They have made it illegal to investigate such crimes.
Now, don't you feel better? SARC/
John in Indy
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