Actual Headlines

So we saw this and figured there would be a lot of jokes to be written in the coming weeks:

• Taking care of business: Chicago's first self-cleaning public restroom opens in Polish Triangle

Turns out, we didn't even have to wait a full day:

• Man temporarily trapped in city's new self-cleaning bathroom in West Town

And after being unable to read the printed directions to open the door, the occupant kicked the door to force his way out, damaging and jamming the door, prompting an emergency response - one of which might be a CFD Truck with an emergency key....

....which is a FANTASTIC use of city resources if we do say so.