Nice Parking Lot Larry
It all just a joke now....trouble is, we don't hear the laughter:
A crew of car thieves pulled off a doozy on Saturday morning by stealing a Jeep from the parking lot of Chicago Police Headquarters, smashing through the entrance gate, and making a clean getaway. It gets worse: The Jeep belonged to a retired Chicago cop — and his gun was inside the vehicle.
According to a CPD document reviewed by CWBChicago, the crooks didn’t exactly sneak out. They plowed through the parking lot’s barrier arm to escape, and yet — somehow — no one reported the theft or property damage for over an hour. The lot and headquarters have a security patrol, or at least they’re supposed to, and questions were raised about why it took so long for the crime to be discovered.
Unaware of the theft, officers on patrol spotted a black Jeep SRT and a Genesis SUV blowing red lights near Pershing and King Drive at 7:32 a.m., about three blocks from headquarters. The Jeep’s windows were shattered, and both vehicles tore off toward southbound Lake Shore Drive, officers said.
Shortly after, someone at Jackson Park Golf Course called 911 to report five Black males in ski masks standing next to a Genesis SUV trying to steal a Jeep that had its windows busted out. But by the time police arrived, they were all gone. It wasn’t until 8:50 a.m. — well over an hour after the barrier was smashed — that someone realized the Jeep had been stolen from the police department’s own parking lot.
"...plowing through the [...] barrier arm" isn't that big a deal. If it isn't in the raised position, it's either aluminum or a painted one-by-four from Lowes....pretty much the flimsiest piece of lumber in existence. There are no tire spikes or anything stopping a car thief from leaving.
But who was manning the booth? Did they not notice someone "plowing through"?
And cameras. Where were the cameras watching the lot and cars entering/leaving? CPD has cameras in the lockup and lobbies, in-car and body worn, on lampposts and in most intersections. Not one was reviewed in a timely manner after some people (or folks) hopped a waist high fence, broke a window and stole a car from what should be one of the more secure parking lots in the city?
And leaving a gun in the car? Retirees are allowed to carry. Even if they aren't supposed to carry into HQ, how much would it cost to install a lock box in the lobby? They had/have them at Federal Court.
A bunch of simple fixes along with prompt notifications of a crime taking place at HQ. But what's another hot car and another hot gun on the streets?
Labels: department issues
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
135 Comments:
Thought the booth was sworn?
Hahaha! Former 021!
why can't you carry into HQ that's news to me. i thought it was just certain federal locations that were off limits
OMG this is just like at Ohare ! Jeep SRT’s are the most likely vehicle stolen and it’s proven to be always an inside job. U think Spiro gives a shit this has been going on for decades in my experience. Absolute joke these kids are making thousands of dollars per vehicle. They been at ohare forever with no resistance and just a mile away from the 90.
This department is full of lazy and incompetent people. We are not a real police department.
There are spike strips upon entering/exiting… but… it will only puncture your tire if you reverse.
The BIG Question is, if you're retired, why in the fuck are you parked at 35th and Shit?
I'll be in the fuckin' Smoky Mountains when I'm done.
The article states that officers "spotted" vehicles blowing red lights, etc. That's nice, but what did they do about it? Bueler, anyone?
There is supposed to be a police officer in that security booth at the entrance 24/7. Officer, you got some explaining to do. Simple do nothing job making well over 100,000 dollars a year, not wrk the street and still a major fuck up. Fire him or her ass. Might as well put safety man-dummy-in guard house! Holy Fuck!
The CPD has become one big joke. Thanks to the Supervision.
I’m embarrassed to work for the CPD now. They hired all these idiots with tattoos and jeeps it’s just unbearable being in the same room as them. Seriously if your a Jeep Tattoo goof on the job ur an absolute tool box.
So, one day you can carry into HQ. But the day you retire and after you can't. Do they stop trusting us?
Where the fuck were the HQ security officers? Officer either had to tinkle or took an early duck. My guess is took an early duck. FIRE the asshole!!!
Desk officers are supposed to do security in the parking lot. Watch secretaries are actually station security.
The young attractive PO assigned to man the booth must have been attending to a personal meeting with Larry Snelling, in his office. Discussing her future lustrous career at CPD. This was just an unfortunate event that transpired when she had to leave the booth that one time. Otherwise she’s always vigilant and earned her position as a gate guard at HQ.
At the risk of having overdosed on binge watching Columbo reruns:
Was vehicle/owner targeted? Or random? Or too spiffy to not snatch?
Did vehicle not have an alarm system? If it did, what were it's functions? Alarm system tech these days does more than sound an audio alert.
If vehicle/owner targeted, why?
Theft crew size seems a bit too many. Was this theft just the first of their intended spree?
Columbo had only one working eye, the other being a wonky eye.
There is no barrier arm in the exit lane
LOL What a ghetto department CPD has become now. Only a matter of time before Dude Inc begins stealing officers' cars right out of the district or academy parking lots.
I still remember the old days when officers had two cars. One nice personal one that stayed at home in the garage and then their "work car". An old beater sedan or coupe. Rusty but dependable and most importantly had a lockable trunk...never a hatchback or SUV (that a thief could access via a key remote or smashed window).
Retirees can’t carry into HQ? Can anyone clarify or confirm?
Is there a RD number to back this up?
So much to unpack here. Let’s just talk on the retiree gun thing. You can carry a firearm for 20 plus years. You can use it to away a person’s freedom. Then you turn in your star and suddenly you’re not qualified or authorized to carry? That’s absurd.
Ask yourself, what was that gun used for? Seems pretty targeted to me and not random.
and if the usual dei hire was supposed to be watching the lot at that time nothing will happen
The only people the security detail fucks with are other coppers forced to go there for some bullshit like the medical.
Is it true that retired officers can’t bring their weapon into headquarters?
hey, like hillary would say, "what difference does it make now"?
There was a person in the booth. The POs response reminded me of the scene in Stripes with Bill Murray when they crashed the RV through the gate. Come to think of it, the whole first half of that movie reminds me of this dept. 'army training sir'. What a classic
Further proof that NONE of our police parking lots are safe, including our station lobbies.
This Dept is a joke..all it is are people being hidden in bullshit positions for their career while the rest do real police work.
I heard the security officer left because it was their furlo friday.
I figure because he/she is working part time for the CPD. Some people just can't walk away from police work. Look at those few that retire and go get another job in another jurisdiction.
They did nothing about it. The Dept, COPA, that citizen commission don't want the CPD to actually do any police work. They'd get hung out to dry if anything went sideways.
Made to prevent using the outty as an inny or the inny as an outty.
Bigger Question is who owns the vehicle?
Bunch of retirees work as civilians at hq.. juicy
Never trusted "us" in the first place sunshine
Sometimes you cant parked a marked vehicle in the lot.How did a retiree leave his personal vehicle in the lot.Larry can you answer this question. Thanks, from a non paid local reporter.
Yup still got mine... just no truck cuz I dont keep any more valuable in it than a full tank of gas
Hahahahahahahaha.
CPD is the joke of big city police departments.
They did what the department, and city want…nothing.
Anyone that blames the patrol guys is a tool!!!
Must have been those crazy ICE agents again seeing as they all had mask’s on.
"one big joke. Thanks to the Supervision."
Ain't that the truth!
It’s because they are more worried that a disgruntled retiree will go postal on the brass. A retiree already has the pension.
Civilians and civilian employees are not allowed 🚫 to carry inside the building as a condition of employment. Those who have never been the poleece, will rat you out in a second!
Was there late Saturday and arm broken off. My shocked and confused look only prompted the officer on guard to look at me as if to say 'you know' lol unfucking believable
Hard to get outside on your knees.....
STUPIDVISORS please
Nah, they figure if your old ass just got diagnosed with stage four cancer you might wanna go to the Ivory Tower to seek retribution...
Retired police officers are civilians and civilians are prohibited by state law from carrying a firearm into any government building.
Back in the late 70's I was in Los Angeles on an extradition. I was given a tour of several LAPD buildings . We entered a fenced in and guarded parking lot and armed security to enter the building with a secure lobby. Nothing like that will ever happen in Chicago for the administration does not care about the safety and security of employees. They want open buildings. How many cars have been damaged or stolen in the past ? How many officers have been assaulted ( one killed) inside the station or parking lot?
no chases allowed! red light cameras got it covered...
went out to take a leak...
well at least not any longer!
More HQ nonsense. I
No keeses for them!!!!
John Wick killed dozens after they stole his car!
Never have I seen an attractive PO assigned to the booth, just old timers.
I wonder if had a bunch of those little ducks on the dashboard and if they’re ok…
Where was that female copper who loves writing other copper parking tickets and her ass sucking Lt at. She’s always in the lot looking to screw coppers over while her Lt condones it.
The SRT is a nice trim package for all Chrysler vehicles; not just Jeeps. It's extraordinary that Dude would risk stealing one from CPD Headquaters though. It just shows you that they have no fear of ever paying a price for their behavior.
True!
Strange that they happened to pick the car with the gun inside!
Enjoy your Prius and comic book collection… nerd!
You could still access the trunk by pulling down the back seat genius. Glad you put your two cents in, now go ask for a refund.
That was bullshit…I asked that question to many cops friends n the 1970’s…they had be car
Same question. Been retired five years and have been to HQ many times, always with my S&W. Never a problem, not once. Never asked by anyone if I am armed, never.
hire private security like OEMC
Their is some lack of information about a retired officers ability to carry concealed weapon in Illinois. Prior to HR218 it was simple. NO. After HR218 yes on the public way, but does allow local/state restrictions on the carry. Illinois Democrats hate the police so they limit the carry of retired officers and citizens as much as possible under federal law. When HR218 first started King Richard the 2nd would not allow retired officers to qualify at the CPD ranges. I had to go to a suburban facility to qualify for HR218.
No only for sleeping
like i always say you can't fix stupid among cpd it's forever teeeeeeeee heeeeeeee
The gate is down as you enter. The gate is up (if there even is one) in the exit lane.
There are no "spikes" either going in or coming out. Too many idiots would go the wrong way over them.
Whether active or retired, you should have a safe in your car. Why make it easy for them?
A CPD document says they "plowed" through the gate? As if they brazenly escaped the dragnet that was closing in on them? BS. Broken gates leave debris. Someone would have noticed that. An ET would have to photograph it. If someone "plowed" through the gate, it would have made noise, someone would have noticed it, and it would have been discovered sooner.
These thieves watched how easy it is to get in and out. You are checked going in and never going out. Easy to hop the fence and casually drive out.
Multi million dollar camera and surveillance system watching the whole city but no one watching the parking lot of its surroundings?
Wow. Who is in charge over there?
???
where do you work?
That’s nonsense. The ratio po’s and Jeep owners do more work that at least half of the po’s on the job. Plenty of marines on the job with tattoos. But you can be in the same room with officers that never worked the street
Watch secretaries doing station security. Give me a break
You must have retired years ago…
Because today, there’s not much we can do
OT: CWB Chicago sounds a bit odd in their reporting about 34 people shot over the weekend.
It’s easy to type out a sentence making that sentence to be no big deal or the quite the opposite. CWB’s version to me, makes it sound like 34 shot (7-dead 27 wounded so far) is a good thing-an improvement by comparison to a previous year. What, like this is some fabulous improvement? Like 5hings are making a turnaround??
34 people shot in a single Chicago weekend is still absolutely outrageous! It’s not always shitheads catching the bullets-there’s innocent people too.
Here’s the link https://cwbchicago.com/2025/07/weekend-violence-7-dead-27-more-shot-citywide.html
Rant off.
Oh you can be qualified-but you gotta pay!
Probably called 009 to have a police officer take the report.
Hey old hag, you do realize that the majority of the people working security have time. You sound a delight to work with, do us all a favor and quit the job.
We can't chase for traffic violations or straight steals so what would you have them do clown?
If they drove to the right of the guard shack there are no gates so they could've driven 5 miles an hour right past the guard and wouldn't have drawn any suspicion. If they stayed left they would've crashed through the entrance gate which SHOULD'VE triggered some sort of a response IF someone was actually manning the schack.
Ill bet the officer in the guard shack was sleeping. What are the odds?
Says the guy that hates Jeeps and tattoos. Mind your business.
im been retired for a couple years they have always been j-goffs especially if you are a non clouted white male they acted like j-gs when i went do there to drop a a dui kit or tuition reimbursement form i always gave right back at them
Absolutely not. You have to catch up to them to try and stop them, and that’s a lot like a chase, which is forbidden. Not a lot you can do in that situation now of days. Put it over the air and go get lunch.
Well, the jeep belonged to a retired copper. We’d need clarification on if he has tattoos or not.
U do nothing chucko hey let me buy you a pack of gum one day I will teach you how to chew it.
Who cares DUMB ass! Like that needs to be clarified or confirmed.
You should see the cars pulling in and out of there. Tunes bumping. Smoke pouring out the tinted windows. The guard probably thought it was business as usual.
Yeah what is up with Jeep drivers littering their dashboard with toys, & getting cartoon-face aftermarket front grills? Are we all 8 year olds here?
The bank in the Andy Griffith show was more protected with that old security guard that had the revolver with the loose grips, than a CPD station with a guard shack.
and btw...what is the department going to do to a retired guy with a firearm? Write him up? Get real....
When I have spoken with the officer in the guard shack, they didn't exactly impress me as a fireball if you know what I mean...
Easier. They took the car with the gun in it. They would have taken the safe too
So has CPD allowed retired officers to carry at headquarters or not. Retirees qualify at cCPD ranges
Where was this? And what tickets could she write?
How did 5 idiots that jumped the fence know there was a gun in the car?
If you have your IROCC card you can carry at headquarters
That’s because attractive young po’s don’t want to work there. Watch secretaries, secretaries and bunch of made up jobs are more to their liking
Can’t be in the room with them. Bet you ass you would be happy to see the tattoos if you called a 10-1
Jesus himself could be in charge and y'all still gonna talk that shyt
Inaccurate. There ARE spikes going out. You can go over them provided you're going the correct way (exiting). If you try to enter through the exit, youd flatten your tires. Ironic they thought they wouldn't need fo have those devices on both the entry and exit.
Yes, the supervisor is the reason the sworn officer working the booth wasn’t paying attention and didn’t use the radio to notify anyone.
There’s a can in the guard shack to tinkle in or deposit seman if you feel the urge. Don’t leave shack. Must smell nasty in thee. Yikes.
There are spikes going out.
The copper in shack took a duck. WTF? Just got caught this time. It was his/her turn for the early duck. Been going on for years.
This needs to be a post on its own!
That's 002
The guys stealing these Cars are good at it. Jump the 4 ft fence, pop the window and use the computer they bought off of Amazon to program a key in 1 minute. Drive off the lot.
We all made fun of these jeep driving clowns back in 2018. It was the punisher stickers or marine core tattoos that gave these clowns away immediately. They'd usually intentionally pull up in their Jeep next to a group of coppers and ask proudly "Can I park my Jeep over here?". Everyone would just laugh at the clowns as they parked. God dam, how times have changed. What used to be loser behavior is proudly accepted these days.
What exactly would you expect the person to do? Jump in front of it? Shoot at it? For all they knew it was a copper driving like a J/O.
So... for all you SUPERCOPS in the comments. What would you do? Get in a shootout with the shitheads? Run up to them and yell "back sir?" Shoot at the car? Block the exits? Chase it on foot? Confront 2-4 offenders by yourself? Box the fleeing car? Put a team together in 1 minute and run out the building after them? I don't get it. WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU DO keyboard Rambo?
There is only one option, get out of the way, call it in an get an RD. Show me a police directive that allows you to do anything else. If you can't, do the rest of us a favor and STFU!
Word!
Spiro is too busy staring at the ceiling notice.
Hey dummy, they are clowning on the “security” because it took over an hour for anyone to report the gate was damaged. Thats the problem, not stopping the car but even noticing your gate got jacked up.
Its not just Jeeps the kids drive nowadays. Dont forget the manly Durango!
I mean you're right in theory, but observing the crime as it happened in a secure lot instead of an hour later would be a start.
Retired was/is obviously working now as a civilian.
They probably watched him on road or expressway and liked the car so they followed him. They probably watched him or her remove their gun and stash it in glove or under seat etc and walk inside. They knew they were stealing that car and probably knew no chase policy- it only property
Talk about a phone call career on this jagoff. Mr. LA extradition… thanks for the story but us losers in patrol arent even allowed to leave our beat without it being a problem. Holy fuck!
Sounds like someone is trying to justify their cushion spot in the shack……
Larry and Yolanda resign.
Well if you’re on social media you’ll see that a lot of these retirees cannot give this shithole up and feel a need to pretend they are still relevant to policing.
“Talk about a phone call career on this jagoff. Mr. LA extradition… thanks for the story but us losers in patrol arent even allowed to leave our beat without it being a problem. Holy fuck!“
Hey genius, he’s literally talking about the fucking SEVENTIES. Were you even alive? Well before you were parking the wagon in the hole and complaining to people half your age about how unfair your life is. If you’d ever done a lick of case work you’d know that, even today, you don’t get an extradition trip without working a case up to the point that even CCSAO has no choice but to issue a warrant. The type of “give a fuck” everyone tells you not to have and an amount of work you’d have a heart attack over and be convinced you’re going to go to prison for doing your job. Jesus Christ, the misery is laughable.
"The stolen Jeep expiditiously exited the CPD parking lot through the open gate at a rate of 3-5 Mph passing the sleeping security personnel in the guard shack. Security video footage was reviewed with no additional information gained."
The above incident is "suspended" pending any further pertinent information about the offender(s)
Archie Bunker was Right all Along Says:
So true. No more Real Po-lice. They’re all gone, or layin low till retirement. Buncha oddballs not suited for the job took over. Clown College Degrees in Basketweaving and Proctology.
Hmmm. Car left on lot while they go to baseball game? , take the green line somewhere else, go on vacation? Many chosen ones leave their cars in the lot for safe storage or free parking.
Who cares DUMB ass! Like that needs to be clarified or confirmed.
7/21/2025 02:42:19 PM
For various reasons that are none of your business, some of us retirees would like to know also. If you can’t answer the question then STFU and scroll past. Having to work with dipshits like you is a main reason that I am happy to be gone from this department.
Wait Snelling hitting the workers at headquarters ?I thought he was keeping his nose clean lol
If you are working the guard shack at HQ parking lot then you most likely haven't made career decisions that are moving you forward and upward.
Just saying...
lol Larry somewhere tryna getting a blowjob he’ll blame everyone else
A Clown College for sure
I would riase my finger and say "Stop!" or Ill say stop again"...then notify a supervisor and go to PTSD room...
Well you could pull down the backseat to access the trunk if you were ghetto (or a public-school graduate) and bought a Pontiac or Chevy. The key word is “dependable” so most coppers had a work car that was an old Honda or Toyota. Thanks for proving the OP point how ghetto this dept has become.
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