Not a Bright Idea

How long do you think it will be before someone gets beaten with one of these chairs?

• The Chicago Park District will debut 100 green metal chairs around Buckingham Fountain Saturday as part of a new pilot program that takes a cue from European cities like Paris and encourages people to socialize in the lakefront park.

  But having somewhere to sit comes with a price tag.

  The 100 chairs, which were manufactured by the brand Fermob in Paris, cost $54,438 in total, according to a Park District spokesperson. Of that, $24,438 was footed by the city. Lollapalooza, which partnered on the project and will host its 21st festival in Grant Park July 30-Aug. 2, paid the remaining $30,000.

  In a statement, the Park District said, “the seating program will transform the space and encourage social gathering.” The movable chairs will be in the park until September, except, the city says, during major events hosted in Grant Park, although it did not specify which events would prompt chair removal.

Unless they're going to fix these chairs in place with rebar and concrete pads, it'll be a few days, tops. 

Along with the betting on when someone will get beaten with a chair, how long until the first chair:

• gets tossed in the fountain?
• gets tossed in the lake?
• gets tossed in the river?

Our guesses?

• a couple hours
• a couple days
• a week - because they'd have to carry it somewhere

Whom comes up with this nonsense?