Why Didn't We Think of This?
Has everyone seen the video of the guy throwing a sandwich at a Federal Officer in Washington the other night? turns out he was a DoJ deep-state lib-tard and is currently facing a Federal felony change....and filling out unemployment paperwork.
Today, this popped up in our newsfeed:
Illinois Governor JB Pritzker reportedly joined the fray as a law enforcement officer in the nation's capital in hopes of getting a sandwich thrown at him.
Sources said the governor sprang into action today after hearing that a federal officer was assaulted by a man who threw a Subway sandwich at him during a confrontation, joining the D.C. Police Department and requesting immediate duty.
"Oh man, I've got to get down there right away," Pritzker reportedly said after seeing the viral video of a man assaulting a Customs and Border Protection agent with a subway sandwich. "Baxter, hold all my calls. Tell them I'm on an extended lunch!"
The accompanying picture was great:
And we didn't even make that connection.
We're getting slow in our advancing age.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
79 Comments:
Buttons would not meet all the way up.
They should have used a Jessie Smellsit photo…..He was attacked on his way back from Subway shop….
Hall of Fame!!!
Good thing it wasn't a root beer. That could have done some damage.
Did Kimmy land in DC?
Governor screw up! LOL!!!!!!
Somebody should throw a sandwich at Carlos Baker.
Wouldn’t have been able to chase the dude with out having a major grabber
the photo is too kind... that blob is 5''1'' and 350 lbs.
Pigster likes extra meat in his face
For any idiot lamenting "it was just a sandwich" I've got 3 words for you: Kim Fox slurpee
and don't forget,, pwickster always gets a diet coke with all his meals
First root beer now sandwiches. Stop the madness and think of the children.
Food is fatal
"Never let a good sandwich go to waste" -Pritzker, Jussie-"my sammich" and Jared saying he wished he had the freedom to eat one!
Why is everyone on this department against 12hr schedule? If you look, the main 12hr schedule that a large department like ours would use is a great schedule.
The 12hr shift is: it’s a two week cycle with 4 squads. Each squad works 2 on 2 off; 3 on 2 off 2 on 3 off. This schedule results in 3 day weekends every other weekend AND you don’t work more than 3 days in a row. The hours are 0500-1700/0600-1800 and 1700-0500/1800-0600. Early cars arrive on time and late cars slow roll in while early cars handle.. then early cars leave a little early to “debrief and de-gear” while late cars handle it until the early midnight cars come in.. then the late midnight cars roll in later and the cycle continues so nobody is going to be in the car for the full 12hrs due to roll call, check off and time to get your gear on and off and take care of any admin stuff……. If you catch my drift. 12hr shift and maybe actually answering jobs for 9-10hrs.. funny, everyone has NO PROBLEM working 4hr extensions everyday for OT, but all of a sudden their lives are destroyed when you bring up 12hr schedule and how their mental health will suffer… yet they pull in 150hrs of OT working 12hr days everyday….
It kind of sort of worked for Juicy Smallish and his CLUB sandwich?
Could it help Biggie Fatty?
Fat chance.
Didnt think there was a uniform big enough! Must have been one hell of a tailored bill.
Damn thats look good...hope theres no onions, they give me gas.
OT: Rumors in the hallways of City hall is that the Mayor is entertaining talk about the City filling bankruptcy. He believes it is the only way out of the enormous debt!
The real shit show will be when Gov. FatAss and Hair Gel Newsum start in on each other to see who the candidate for Prez in 28 will be!
Maybe FatAss will be on his way to the Federal CornHole Hilton by then!
We can only hope.
Subway is too healthy for JB Fatazz. He would want Micky D double cheeseburgers tossed at him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qODu0y6UVeI Assault with a deli weapon
Sir Cumference, would have caught That sandwich like a trained seal.
Just another Democrat male who favors a foot long, just like Juicy Smooliet.
Is this the same guy who attack Juicy Smulet???
all i can say is teeeeee heeeee
Two words that scare the living crap out of everyone, President Pritzger
Go work there then.
OT but does every watch secretary ONLY work 3 hours then go home??? Or is this only the special ones?
He ain't throwing any food at anyone but his stomach.
They would have to post the assets. I always wondered how much the collection in the art institute and our museums was worth
Because the 10hr schedule is a lot better for your health and family life!!! Studies have proven this….
Max out your deferred comp now.
And he is on an extended lunch almost everyday.
12 hours as a cop in this shithole department answering non stop calls for service is a disaster waiting to happen. So what’s next, 12 days for 4 straight days and then your RDO is cancelled for another 12 hour shift ?You must be too young to remember the 6 on 2 off schedule. It was too much for coppers because they got burned out and usually caught a CR on their 6th day working.
time to get your gear on and off? huh? you mean you can show up to roll call out of uniform then go into the locker room to get all set? and then come in about half an hour early to change back into street clothes before checking off?
Shut up. No one cares what u think.
No more Mr. Nice Guy. From now on, when I protest, I"M THROWING BROCCOLI!
Ill throw something better at that TEMU TIKTOK COP
As of 2025, Chicago’s five major pension funds have a combined unfunded liability of over $35 billion. The fire and police pensions are funded at around 24–25 percent, while the municipal and laborers’ funds aren’t much better. These are among the worst-funded large public pension systems in the country — on par with Detroit before it went bankruAccording to the city’s own actuarial reports, without massive new infusions of cash or benefit cuts (which are legally blocked under the Illinois Constitution), the funds will become insolvent within the next seven to 12 years, depending on market performance and contribution levels. In plain English: the money will run out.
The city has already been borrowing money to make pension payments. That’s like taking out a payday loan to pay your mortgage. It’s not a solution. It’s a warning sign.
https://www.chicagocontrarian.com/blog/when-is-chicago-going-bankrupt#:~:text=As%20of%202025%2C%20Chicago's%20five,technically%2C%20Chicago%20cannot%20go%20bankrupt.
Believe it or not he has lost weight. Getting ready for the presidential run. He thinks that will make him more acceptable. Fat chance, pardon the pun. He has no following besides illinois
The department won’t offer any guarantees that they won’t further cancel days off.
Great comment about OT.
Another dummy. When you are working past the time your shift/watch ends you get paid for time and a half for those extra hours. Ok, genius, answer this: it’s 11 hours into your shift and you get a late shooting, a late crash due to the tact team “following” some guy. You work 3 hours o.t. For a total of 15 hours worked. You get home, shower, maybe grab a quick bite. Deal with the kids, dog, then to bed. You may get 3-4 hours of sleep, then do it again. No time for the kids little league games, volleyball, whatever. You’re a stranger to your family. Soon wife gets jocker cause you don’t understand her. Kids dye their hair purple, blue, green, rainbow and call you Dude. This is not like working in small dept or community. This shit is real. Still want 12 hour shifts?
Clearly you are not from Chicago or worked a shift for 8 hours in the ghetto.
"Slow roll" you say? Would you put they in a policy? Late cars "handle it"? You have no idea how screwed up and unpredictable it becomes at shift changes in the City. Don't try to sell something when you don't understand the product, the buyer or his needs.
Easier said than done.
Mayor Brandon Johnson cannot take Chicago into bankruptcy because Illinois law does not allow it. Under federal law, a city can only file for bankruptcy under Chapter 9 if the state authorizes it. Illinois law, specifically 50 ILCS 320/1 et seq. (the Illinois Municipal Code on bankruptcy authorization), only permits certain small taxing districts like drainage districts and not large home rule municipalities such as Chicago. That is why bankruptcy is not an option for the City of Chicago unless the Illinois General Assembly passes new legislation to allow it.
Good. Then our pension system will finally be funded. The city would have to sell all of their assets under the watch of a federal monitor, not some b.s. city (let's sell grant park for a dollar) monitor to make whole all of their existing debt. Then they would have to open up the real books to a federal bankruptcy judge who may have more questions than answers. Oh btw, the city doesn't get to choose their judge and if you think for a second that Trump is going to let some sleezy judge get the case, I've got a bridge to sell you. I don't think this dump is quite ready for that just yet....
fucker would have devoured that sub midair like a slider.
watch your fingers wannabe zookeepers.
Where they got them extensions at so I can transfer ?
....cause he's watching his weight.
HEY !...Fuck off You can't get a fucking weekend now....think your going get a three'er....Fuck off...
so presidential
Plenty of tourists keeping the city going. Brandon needs to cut or eliminate the enormous waste in his budget.
Just wait until JB finds out about the straw subway purchases from Indiana!
Yes only three hours per day
You’re comment about guys crying about it but then being the first to work 4 hours extra everyday for OT. I’m assuming most of the negative commenters here are exactly those guys who work 150hrs and would be devastated because there would be no need for OT anymore for coverage with 12s. With 12s you would have an abundance of cars up, no need to cancel RDOs and OT would be down to the lowest anyone has seen in 50 years. There would be no need at all to cover any cars anymore. I’ll take the every other weekend off with my family option.. screw this 4-2 nonsense.
12 hr tour? Blow it out your ass
Fuck that 12 hour bullshit in Chicago let them do it believe me I will not be working those hours if that’s what I wanted I would’ve accepted my suburban offers GTFOH down would go everyone’s health! This is Chicago BITCH signed, a F2
JCat only won because retro was held hostage now that is over we need someone who accomplishes goals not just bitches about them. Sick of the videos holy shit this job has become a dumpster fire.
Did the dept hire enough DEI shit heads or is baker gonna be the reality check.
Who doesn't?
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
End food and root violence
Juicy snort it loves it long and hard
Says the guy in a slow district. Try that long shift in a ghetto district .
If I toss a whole cooked chicken, J.B. Blurp would probably catch it with his mouth. Treasonous babstard
He's taking Ozempic
Pritzker reminds me a little of Jackie Gleason. But not in a good way.
Jared would be proud.
The photo reminds me of Wimpy from the old Popeye cartoons; "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."
I've seen he has lost weight. Looks like he and the wife are on Ozempic.
I think there will be a Newsom/Pritzker ticket in 2028
It was only a Veggie sandwich!!!
Yup...living proof...look at wombles on 1st watch in 019, first makes coffee like the good bitch he is, then does sheets and goes home. Gee, wonder how much time he has in the books since he never uses them
Geez, look at the size of that mouth, looks like the game hungry hungry hippo.
And if you complain you can kiss your start time goodbye
Mick Belker Says:
Pritzker would have caught that sandwich with his mouth, no problem, and devoured all the evidence
The city would never give up that cash cow known as O’Hare. The skimming there alone belongs to a lot of people. No matter what you think, this ain’t Detroit and they will never open the books. There’s plenty of money. It’s just not going where it should.
Hilarious, but potentially true?
Funny thing is...its the job of the WOL to do A&A's, plus worksheets...however they are too fucking lazy to do anything besides eat and watch tv in their offices.
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