Monday, August 22, 2005

USMC joke

A Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an insurgent Iraqi soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Marine was asked what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover in the ditches alongside the road. I yelled to him, ‘Saddam Hussein is a miserable low-life scumbag’, and he yelled back that ‘Teddy Kennedy is a fat, rich, good-for-nothing drunkard’.

We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us.


Anonymous leftisthebest said...

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WWIII." And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" The president says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big breasts? Why kill a blonde with big breasts?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smartass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

8/22/2005 07:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Adolph said...

TO: Leftisthebest, Sweetbaby Ray


Lt. Colonel Gideon Nieuwoudt
South African NationalPolice

Please join me in a prayer service for Gideon Nieuwoudt. The poor man died in prison after being represented by attorneys trained by the Chicago FOP. He appeared before the Amnesty committee instead of fleeing to the Motherland or Holland.

Please remember this great martyr,
if only he had been hired as a consultant for the FBI, 911 would never have happendend. When the Phillipine National Police learned of the 911 plans in 1995, Col. Niewoudt would have been the man to go to. He never failed in crime suppresion. It might have taken a month but he always obtained a confession. THE TOWERS WOULD HAVE NEVER FALLEN.

Lefty and his friends at the ACLU and the Jewish Defense League would be a thing of the past.

The peoples law office would be bombed, the scum bag lawyers maimed.

The man should have been offered a cabinet position by the great President Bush. He would have made a great homeland security czar.

The Col. would have driven a railroad spike into Phat Phils head, and disembowled the leech Daley.

Rest in Peace Comrad.

I have to go the great President is giving a speech.

8/22/2005 12:32:00 PM  
Anonymous leftisthebest said...

There is always injustice in the world, Adolph, and there'll always be leftists to take up the cause no matter how many right wing fanatics are out there brainwashed by the rich.

P/S I think sweetbabyray would be miffed you included him as an ally of mine. He's sooner live in tat studio apartment with Bush Boy.

8/22/2005 02:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are right...

All the money wasted by Daley
but paying for a park that
is for Police Officers who were killed in the line of duty has to come from strong arming the corporate world.

I guess the City doesnt think that these officers' lives were worth the tax dollars.

It is a shame!

8/22/2005 06:35:00 PM  
Blogger SweetBabyRay said...

LeftIsBest Vs. ThreeRights

Location: A certain CPD Unit
Date: Monday, 8-22-05
Time: Wee hours of the morning

Round #1
Lefty: How come YOUR President hasn't done anything about the high gas prices.

Righty: MY President?? He's YOUR President too. Last time I checked, he's not running OPEC.

Lefty: But he can control the gas prices in the U.S. with the Iraqi oil we'll be getting.

Righty: We didn't go to war for oil. We went to war to bring down a brutal regime who was a threat to the US and others.

Lefty: I can honestly say that Bush went to war with the worst of intentions. Not to save Iraq from Saddam but to make his friends a lot of money.

Righty: You mother fuckers need to look at the facts.

Lefty: Why do you have to use profanity at me?

Righty: Sorry

Lefty: Jimmy Carter is against the war.

Righty: Jimmy Carter was our worst President in the last century. He couldn't get the hostages out of Iran. Interest rates rose to 17%.

Lefty: Don't be mad at him just cause he builds houses for the poor people.

Righty: No, I'm mad because he's a trader and should be arrested for treason. He sided with the leader of the largest terrorist organization in the world, Arafat. And got a nobel peace prize because of it. Come on.

Lefty: I still say Iraq was better off with Saddam in power.

Righty: Oh another Howard Dean. No wonder you guys can't win an election.

Lefty: Oh ya, 2008 is right around the corner.

By a score of 12-2, the winner of Round #1 is Righty.

Round #2

Location: A certain CPD Unit
Date: Tuesday, 8-23-05
Time: Wee hours of the morning

Details to follow...

8/22/2005 07:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Bush boy said...

I repeat, what's wrong with a studio apartment?

8/22/2005 07:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try "T-R-A-I-T-O-R."
How can anybody NOT know how to spell this word.

8/22/2005 10:35:00 PM  
Anonymous leftisthebest said...

Hey sweetbabyray, you must be on furlough or something, because the stuff you are smoking is pretty strong stuff. Did you dream up that stuff because I wasn't there for that conversation.

8/23/2005 01:35:00 AM  
Anonymous leftisthebest said...

Bush Boy says when the site hits 15,000 party at hbis studio apartment!

8/23/2005 01:36:00 AM  
Anonymous StormTrooper said...

Good Movie: DownFall. I Cried when Himmler betrayed our father

8/23/2005 06:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Bush boy said...

Cool. That gives me about 15 days to clean the studio apartment!

8/23/2005 06:16:00 AM  
Anonymous leftisthebest said...

If I wear my "No Blood for Oil" tee shirt shall I be attacked, BB? Naw, I wouldn't insult you by doing that. However after I leave check your car bumper. there may be a sticker there.

8/23/2005 10:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW....SWEETBABYRAY!!!Don't listen to those voices in your head. Slow breaths, you'll be O.K.
It's rather disturbing to have bloggers who didn't take their prozac today. Remember sweetbabyray....there is no conspiracy, just put foil around the windows and doors and everything will be O.K.

8/23/2005 07:39:00 PM  

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