Friday, August 18, 2006

The Karma Train; The Darwin Award

  • The death of a well-liked student in a one-vehicle accident will mean a difficult start Friday to the year at Lockport Township High School, officials said.

    David Nelson Jr., 17, of Crest Hill died Tuesday after driving a stolen Chevrolet pickup truck into a tree in Channahon, about 12 miles southwest of Joliet, police said Wednesday.
Alcohol may have played a part in the wreck. But it just goes to show, stupid choices lead to stupid outcomes. Let's try to be wise.

Also, we read about this maybe once a year or so. One of those huge trailer mounted wood shredders - the ones that can shred a giant sequoia in something like 3.5 seconds?
  • A 30-year-old man was killed this afternoon when he was sucked into a wood chipper while trying to shake loose a piece of wood that had jammed it.
  • The man was using his foot to clear debris that had jammed the wood chipper around 5:20 p.m. when his foot became entangled in the machine, witnesses told police.
  • His coworkers tried to rescue him from the intake, but he was pulled into and through the wood chipper, according to the release.
We wonder, what does the family get in a case like this? A yard bag full of bloody sawdust? We mean, there is NOTHING left of the guy. If anyone ever saw "Fargo," you have a clue as to what a small wood chipper can do. A big one is going to leave a body as a bloody smear on the back of a truck.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The shreader guy, he can mulch and fertilize the garden at the same time.

8/17/2006 11:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...stupid choices lead to stupid outcomes.

SCC, you probably just made the defining quote of this job. It seems that all these gossip and rumor mongers, wannabe five minute wonders, the so called real police, the one bag wonders, etc, etc, etc...

For all of you out here who seem to forget, we are all adults, or supposed to be, and we and we alone are responsible for our choices. If you are pissed off because you are still in patrol six months out of the academy, or if you are not in some super, duper, secret squirl unit, or your boss hates you, or the women hate you and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby...

You made your own bed. You make your choices and you live with them. You know how you have to play the game. If you want something you ahve to pay for it. Nothing is free out here.

I am so tired- thirty years- of hearing the same old same old from a bunch of crying whiners and babies. Forrest Gump also said it; stupid is as stupid does. All you cpmplainers out there are stupid.

8/18/2006 12:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two of my favorite "Fargo" lines are, "Pancakes", and "It's the Radisson, you know it's top rate"

8/18/2006 01:16:00 AM  
Anonymous "fargo" fan said...

Sell the wood chipper "hamburger" as premium dog food. No cannibals need apply.

Why is it that whenever I think of my ex-wife, I always want to rent a wood chipper?

8/18/2006 03:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At what point in your life do you say to God, "Gee God I really don't want to die of ( fill in the blank), but I know I must sooner or later, so could I go out of this world in a wood chipper please?"

That has to be one of the funniest, horrible stories I've heard in awhile. I wish I could stop laughing.

8/18/2006 05:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As my twisted mind thinks, I would figure the best way to get rid of a body is to go onto Lake Michigan or the ocean (more predators there) and use a wood chipper to shred the body into the water, then throw the chipper overboard.

Man I'm one sick puppy.

8/18/2006 11:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A stunning video to watch, if you can find it, is from a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier. A jet fighter, I think it was a Tomcat, is warming up and this poor kid sailor is sucked right into the air intake like a Kleenex in a hurricane.

Thank God the kid got out safe due to a fast engine shutdown and a hang-on bar inside the intake just for that purpose.

8/18/2006 03:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yah hey der! From time to time people might do some silly shit in the Northland-Dahmer, Ed Gein, Veng, my partner taking a Bomber Bait from a musky's mouth with unprotected hands, however, the paper car back home is in the catbird seat to see stupidity in all it's splendor! Like the shriveled, charred penises of Einstein's who piss on the third rail! Or the gal who locked herself out of CHA apt. #805 at 111 N. Wolcott Ave. and tried to enter her apt. by exiting an exterior window from vacant apt. #803 and scaling the wall only to find herself DOA on the ground below! Or the copper wire theif at Welles and Chicago who resembled a lit cigar abandoned at an ashtray when he grounded himself! And that was just one period!

8/19/2006 01:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw Fargo, so I have a good idea what a wood chipper would do to a human body? You mean that was real? Oh, my god. I can't believe they actually put a real person into a real shredder in that movie so we could see what it would look like. Lord knows that hollywood never embellishes. Does that mean if a car starts on fire it blows up too? I saw plenty of movies with cars blowing up so I have an idea what a car fire looks like. C'mon.

8/20/2006 11:03:00 PM  

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