French UFO's

News of the Weird (apologies to The Reader):

• France's national space agency has opened its UFO files to the public by launching a website which documents reported sightings over five decades.

  So many people have already tried to look at the files that it has become impossible to access the site.

We've conducted our own investigation of the 1,600 or so reports of Unidentified Flying Objects spotted around France and concluded a great majority was unfired rifles, military uniforms, collaboration papers, various cheeses, unused deodorant, brand new women's disposable razors, national pride and whatever their unassimilated immigrant population can throw at the national police.