Saturday, May 26, 2012

Naming Rights for Jail?

  • How does the Coca-Cola lobby at the 26th and California courthouse sound? The Kraft Kafeteria at Stroger Hospital? Or even the Bianchi Busse Woods Bike Trail in the forest preserve?

    The possibilities abound, Cook County officials say, as they look to sell everything from naming rights to advertising at most of its real estate holdings — from the hospitals to forest preserve paths and nature centers to even public areas of the city and suburban courthouses as a means of generating new revenue streams.

    In a moribund economy, politicians are loath to raise taxes, and so County Board President Toni Preckwinkle’s staff has been looking for new ways to raise money for the cash-strapped county government, whose umbrella encompasses the vast health and hospital system as well as local courts and jails. The forest preserve — a separate taxing district — has been in the black the last few years.

How about shrinking government instead? Or better yet, abolishing county government on a scale heretofore unseen in Illinois? Cook County is the most redundant governing body in the entire United States as far as we can tell. With very few exceptions, there isn't much the county does that isn't already covered by local or state authority.

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31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about abolishing the City of Chicago and Cook County and putting them directly under the State of Illinois? Even though corruption takes years to be prosecuted under the state government, it is decades faster than under Chicago or Cook County government. Add in a federal supervisory element and maybe fifty years worth of corruption could be exposed.


Nah. We downstaters wouldn't merit justice like that.

5/26/2012 12:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe the gangs will buy them. Put up signs in the lobby of 26 & Cal. like "Welcome to the Conservative Vice Lords Cook County Courthouse where Disciples get punked."

5/26/2012 12:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is you smokin SCC. Let all those jobs slip away. Never gonna happen in our lifetime or even after. Patronage Rules!

5/26/2012 12:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Toni Preckwinkle could sell her name, then she would be called Cook County Board President Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits. The list is endless.

5/26/2012 12:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soon police cruisers and uniforms are going to look like NASCAR with corporate stickers all over them.

5/26/2012 12:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Batesville Memorial Park" for the former fishbine institute
P.S. if you have to ask you haven't made a run there ever
P.S.S. i couldn't spell it correctly then either, hahahahah

5/26/2012 01:24:00 AM  
Anonymous West Side, Inside Do-Nothing said...

Sounds like a winner to me.

What inmate wouldn't want to romance his Baby Mama in the "Church's Chicken Conjugal Visit Trailer" after peeling off his "Louisiana Hot Sauce" red prison jumpsuit.

Finish planting the seed of yet another bastard (because Inmate #97518 opted-out of using the "Colt 45 Condom"), and it's back to "Cadillac Solitary Confinement" for a post-coital nap on the "Aeropostale" sheeted mattress on the floor.

The possibilities truly are endless..

5/26/2012 01:35:00 AM  
Anonymous JAFO said...

When you don't have enough money coming in, and you are too stupid or stubborn to cut spending, what else can you do?

I guess they didn't tell you that all the cop cars are going to start looking like a NASCAR entry with all the "sponsorships" decals all over the place.

The cars will have Interstate, Goodyear, Pennzoil, Winchester, Remington, Beretta, Glock, and various other corporate names. The car hood and body will be reserved for major sponsors. The trunk will be reserved for any church, anti-police law firm, or rib joint.

You will be required to buy corporate logo patches for your uniforms (part of your uniform allowance will be kicked back to the "sponsors").

ANY use of the siren will automatically invoke a 5-second advertisement every 30 seconds in use like "Get your Fritos today" or "Buy your next Lotto ticket at ______"

Each officer will be told they MUST use the siren at least 30 minutes on any shift whether responding to a dispatch or not.

The Aviation Unit will switch to the planes that fly around Soldier Field and they will fly banner ads.

Any commercial endorsement deals like "The Chicago Police use _____ in their cars" will go to Commanders and above who got cut off from Gold Braid Pensions. This should more than make up any shortfall in pension reforms that will begin to take place.

This sounds so crazy - it is probably next year's policy.

Not a LEO, JAFO

5/26/2012 03:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Bianchi Busse Woods Bike Trail doesn't sound too bad. Bianchi makes a hell of a bike, not that a policeman could afford one...

5/26/2012 05:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

26th & California - Popeye's Pen-

5/26/2012 06:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Trojan Dormitories! The Ky Showers! The Astro Glide Bathrooms!

5/26/2012 07:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would rather see it named after someone that paid for the privilege than see it named after some thieving politician who was taking money all the time he was "serving" the public.

5/26/2012 08:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Purina Dog Chow Jail, Wilber Burial Vault Division IX, Leroy's Wings ' n Things Mess Hall, Jolly Green Giant Garden, Procter & Gamble Laundry, Craigslist Women' s Justice Program, Rev. Jesse Jackson Chapel.... The possibilities at the jail are endless. Of course, the sheriff will have to have a giant Sadam Hussein type statue of himself installed at 2650 paid for by Cooper Andersen and CBS for the 60 Minutes interview during NATO while he refused to commit his troops to help their brother and sister LEOs.

5/26/2012 08:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You think county is bad, at least they do a couple things like courts that other units don't do. Take a look at the township governments in the suburbs. I'm shocked that we don't still have them in the city as an additional worthless taxing body.

5/26/2012 09:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about "shithead playhouse"

5/26/2012 09:23:00 AM  
Blogger Chuckles said...

I hear that Ebay has a bid in for the naming rights to the County Building.

Makes sense - everyone in there is for sale.

5/26/2012 10:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trojan wants the ad rights for County Jail.

5/26/2012 01:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The possibilities truly are endless..

5/26/2012 01:35:00 AM


This sounds so crazy - it is probably next year's policy.

Not a LEO, JAFO
5/26/2012 03:29:00 AM

You guys are hilarious, and sadly this is looking to be reality in the very near future.

5/26/2012 03:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soon police cruisers and uniforms are going to look like NASCAR with corporate stickers all over them.

=========
Is there anything really "wrong" with this idea?

5/26/2012 03:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Burke can replace "Smiling Bob" as the Enzyte guy with his wife Ann in her jurist robes gazing upon him.

Would be a hoot.

5/26/2012 05:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cook County Hospital Colt 45 Trauma Center?

5/26/2012 06:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Comedy Central Criminal Courts Building

5/26/2012 08:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's FUNNY.. since to people it's still.. SOX PARK..CUBS PARK.. ETC.. you can TRY to change the name but it doesn't work.. even the younger generation calls things by the names their parents and grandparents called them.. IF I were a business person I wouldn't waste my money..

5/26/2012 09:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I know. Why don't they give naming rights for a period of 75 years with contract language that lets the namesake charge the city ever-increasing fees and collect money when their resource is not 100% utilized. Oh...errr...um...wait...NEVERMIND!

5/26/2012 10:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget the 26th and Cal. 2cnd
floor "cafeteria" the new GACY GRILL or Dahmer Deli. Order a Disciple's dog or MLD salad or the Daley burger (open it up, nothing there)

5/26/2012 11:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Maggie Daley Cell Block 37"

memorial prison

5/27/2012 08:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vanecko Vistas

5/27/2012 09:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daley Dorms

5/27/2012 09:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome to the Pine-Sol Pavilion of the Cook County Medical Examiner's Office.

Boy, did they shut that up. Fired a few low-level workers as scapegoats, and not a peep since.

Media understand. Bad for restaurant business with NATO in town, seeing that mess in there.

>sound of one hand vigorously washing other hand<

5/27/2012 12:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bankrupt city building new sidewalks like mad up Irving Park Road now, some big parks construction activity out behind De Vry too.

5/27/2012 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Not Me said...

Dignity Memorial County Morgue. "From your house to ours." We feature Batesville, the Cadillac of casket brands. Brought to you by Uzi semi-automatics, when there's no time like the present. And sponsored by all temperature Cheer - hot, warm, or cold,.Cheer gets even the toughest bloodstains out fast. All-tempa-Cheer!

5/27/2012 04:36:00 PM  

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