Monday, March 02, 2015

An Idea Whose Time Has Come

cBS Channel 2 has already found "racism©" in the marijuana dispensary system due to the so-called "deserts" in certain lower income neighborhoods. Someone suggested this in the comment section and it came up at the semi-regular blog "beer, darts and hot wings meeting" the other night.
  • Marijuana Vending Machines
Those Red Box machines popped up everywhere seemingly overnight. You can't stop at a grocery story or Home Depot without running into one or more. Weed machines could be the next wave.
  • make them heavy enough so you'd need like 5 guys to move it;
  • embed it into the concrete a foot down or so to negate dragging it away or turning it over.
This should eliminate 80% of the thefts where the entire machine goes missing. When was the last time you saw a pothead move anything heavy?
  • camera and siren security features
  • as a last ditch measure, if the machine is breached, spoil the product via acid or bleach or something - no fire, because then the offenders will just stand around and inhale
  • limited product in the machine - 100 or so doses, tops
  • no cash sales
 No cash? Then how to vend the product to the underserved glaucoma suffering masses?
  • LINK, EBT, Debit or pre-paid credit cards only
  • with valid State ID or DL
 Illinois is about to revamp the entire Driver License to comply with Federal rules regarding air-travel and stuff in a post-9/11 world. No reason they can't program in something about those who need their medical weed. The weed companies are even producing jobs for the armored truck that'll have to restock the machines.

One final suggestion:
  • Put it in the lobbies of police stations next to the ATM.
It's almost fool proof.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Idea and solves the need to serve the huddled MJ deprived masses in ghetto like areas.

3/02/2015 12:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No matter what you do, it will never be getto proof.
The best you can hope for is that they are getto
Resistaint. Some are going to disappear.

3/02/2015 12:49:00 AM  
Anonymous LEMMER needs to read this said...

off topic

FOP field rep came to 1/w early roll call in 011 tonite. related that lemmer and his asshole antics have not gone unnoticed. seems MLAS has been notified and they in turn notifed dc sleping beauty who was ordered to admonish him and remind him that his shenanigans and belittling of the troops will not be tolerated. dont know if babs put her teeth into this order or just half assed let tommy know whats what. either way keep up the good work my fellow officers and non koolaid drinking supervisors that are working behine the scenes to keep this jagoff in check. lemmer, in case you havent noticed, we will not be bullied and we promise that your days here are numbered. you may win the little battles you choose to wage because youre a bully in a white shirt, but we promise we will win this war. weve outlasted other jagoffs and youre no exception. and weve been documenting your every misstep and violation of GOs and decorum. take that to the bank fool. now lets see just how much ass you got in those pants and try some more of your stunts.


3/02/2015 12:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's A Brave New World.

Aldiss Huxley is spinning in his grave. And all his Soma won't help.

3/02/2015 12:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It will never fly. The same reason cigarette machines are gone and there are no beer machines. Underage purchases!!

3/02/2015 12:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or the CPD could just staff a small medical marijuana boutique in each station. It could be a second job for officers and allow them to interact with citizens in a controlled crime free environment. They can develop contacts amongst the disadvantaged citizens of Chicago without even leaving the station house.

3/02/2015 01:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What would the insurance cost for pot vending machine

3/02/2015 02:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, they live in a marijuana vendor desert and food store desert but it sure isn't a murder desert, I live there. Or a shooting desert or a welfare momma desert or a broken society desert.

3/02/2015 06:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just remember what Rham wants to do to our pensions. He currently filed a motion to prevent the balloon payment due in December. A vote for him is voting to screw yourself when you retire and while your active. Sooo Wake Up people. Forget the race thing, vote for our best interest and let your family know as well.

3/02/2015 07:36:00 AM  
Blogger The Keesing Bandit said...

I love that idea. Will they take LINK cards?

Now, Kees me you fool!!!!

3/02/2015 07:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Put it in the drivers testing facility. It will calm the nerves of those who have to take the test.

3/02/2015 08:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It should be mandatory that upper management smoke 2 joints per shift. At least then they would have an excuse for being morons.

3/02/2015 08:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all currency exchanges should become marijuana places of dispensaries!

3/02/2015 09:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's been thought of in CA. Google search, Medbox, a medical marijuana dispensary box.

3/02/2015 09:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smoking pot makes you dumb. I didn't allow my kid to smoke pot. Told her I would beat her so bad that I would have to turn in my badge the next day.she complied, so now I have a child that isn't a stoned slacker. How did your kid turn out?

3/02/2015 10:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a silent protest we should all grow Chuy mustaches. Break out the Chu-stache!

3/02/2015 10:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next social justice frontier will be lecturing whites about "weed privilege"

3/02/2015 11:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now the "creative" scoring used to justify the marijuana cultivation licenses is starting to come to light. Green Thumb Industries, the company hooked up with Gainer, Hilliard and Mike Madigan buddy Mike McClain, had to give up one of their licenses because they didn't come up with the bond, facilities and sufficient funding. They received three licenses even though as part of the application they had to provide a security plan for each site. Probably would have been a little difficult to provide a security plan for a non-existent site but in IL they managed to pull it off and obtain a license. So of course they immediately attempted to sell one of their licenses (allowable under the IL law) to companies who weren't politically connected enough to obtain a license in the first place. Unfortunately, I guess they couldnt find any takers. Both the Quinn and Rauner administrations have their fingerprints on the corruption that is the IL marijuana cultivation/distibution system and I am sure that they both were able to take care of their cronies. Isnt that the real reason for "medicinal marijuana" in IL? So I am sure that there is some politically connected firm using Gainer and Hilliard as front men that will be more than happy to come in and fill the marijuana desert in Chicago. Maybe after the election Chuy can have his son fill in the void. He is much more knowledgable about marijuana distibution and cultivation than most of the people who received licenses.

3/02/2015 12:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


3/02/2015 01:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Revolversaurus (ret) said...

It's almost 14:00 hrs and STILL no Vanecco related jokes?

3/02/2015 01:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah put them in police stations More idiots hanging around, we already have the white shirts. Then again, some dope might make them quasi normal

3/02/2015 01:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, ok I'll oblige. The new machines to dispense the weed will be made by Vanecko/Weed Manufacturing Partnership LLC.

3/02/2015 03:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aside from the Corner Storefront Doctor passing out $100 weed prescriptions, Ali-Abu bin Hussein at the corner liquor store will be sellin' singles under the counter. Too bad we will never know all those silent dispenser LLC a owners are.
"..Illinois is about to revamp the entire Driver License to comply with Federal rules regarding air-travel..."
Oh that's just for air travel, right...poor folks can't afford ID's and don't tarvel by air. More free Gov'mint stuff.

3/02/2015 07:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SWAT team being disbanded to part time. Three watches, everyone in CPD uniform and no take home cars. No extra pay will be given and only one training day a month. Will take place by April to prepare for summer. Heard it here first.

3/02/2015 07:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bicycles get stolen out of the Pct. you think a weed machine will be immune to theft? HA!

3/02/2015 09:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FOP scores the license, precincts more pension problems.

3/03/2015 01:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
SWAT team being disbanded to part time. Three watches, everyone in CPD uniform and no take home cars. No extra pay will be given and only one training day a month. Will take place by April to prepare for summer. Heard it here first.

3/02/2015 07:55:00 PM

Not very smart.

3/03/2015 02:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many many years ago there was a news story about a marijuana plant growing in the front of the 020 dist.

3/04/2015 02:35:00 AM  

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