The BIG Plan
The Department has decided the best way to combat corona virus is having hand sanitizer at the swiping machines:
Someone is having fun with it (click to read it all):
Calling the Keesing Bandit!
Labels: department issues
posted by SCC at 12:07 AM
84 Comments:
Groot needs a fresh groundwater well
The biggest disease vector of them all, Charlie Beck,
is exempt.
Coppers are a funny bunch (You know that’s going to get yanked down and threats of “we’re going to find out who did this” are going to fly).
I can’t wait to read the comments on this one.
New Jersey would require an attendant.
Where's your Messiah now, Lori?
Fiendishly funny...
Chicago Cop humor is the best.
Hahahhhaha that’s great. The department should tell everyone to stop swiping at all. It’s germ infested. But the department could care less about us.
I’ve been retired 6 years now. Have things changed in the stations, especially those two infectious hellholes, #011 and #002? With the teeming of all the resident zombies, what provisions are there for staff, especially desk crews, for the constant exposure they’re under?
Yes. Leave it to the Chicago Department of Public Health, mind you during a public health crisis, to put your hand on the most disgusting surface in the city and simply use hand sanitizer afterwards. I'm sure the CDC would highly approve of this...Not!!!
No one should be using those Germ ridden machines now!!! Health hazard!!!!
Instead of swiping in you will need to USE YOUR CREDIT CARD !!!
Where is the Chicago lube dispenser for when the City sticks it in your (you know!).
Don’t know what is like now but when we went all over the city in a citywide unit some of those stations were the precursor to the homeless camps in San Francisco. The stench was as bad as DOA stinker. If you can smell them you are inhaling molecules from their bodies. And what do you think are in those molecules. Don’t just rely on hand sanitizer.
I can smell it coming, a mandatory elearning on hand sanitizing. Hopefully they keep it under an hour.
At those prices, anyone who has had too many of my famous white wine spritzers can't afford me.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
how much per pump at home ???
Pay for pump? Naw... I can spit on my palms and stroke for free. I am budget minded.
(stroke my two palms together, stop being so dirty minded 121 N. LaSalle Street drones!)
Wait... Does that hand spitting spread or halt the propagation of germs?
All these science lessons and new accounting practices are confusing!
I hear showering daily and washing your hair also works. Soap and water in the bathroom after using the toilet helps too.
All these high tech wall mounted gel squirting solutions!
Old Gray Balls Said.....
At my age, I will need so many pumps that I may have to dip into the old 457 plan
Does hand sanitizer keep one safe from Gray Death exposure?
That magic anti germ jelly totally halts the effects of fentanyl and carfentanil if that gets on your skin, correct?
There are way more dangers out there then flu season 2.0 today. (hint, practice basic hygiene and take some vitamins D and C/see a doc if you do get sick) Stay smart and keep safe!
What makes you think this is a joke? Fits perfectly into the progressive game plan. Hang contaminated hand dispensers for the use of blue shirts. Exempt those that really matter, saves having to put all those miles on the buss.
Cut the bullshit about hand sanitizer... The only, and I must stress only, scientifically proven way to stop coronavirus is AXE Body Spray for Men.
Simply spray yourself and everyone you meet and every place you travel with AXE Body Spray for Men. The difficult side effect of over-spraying AXE Body Spray for Men is that doing your job as normal becomes near impossible.
All these super models and other hot chicks appear and try to tackle you for sex. These gorgeous women will not leave you alone unless they get sex once they smell the AXE Body Spray for Men on you. This is a known issue with AXE Body Spray for Men but it is the ONLY method to combat coronavirus which we currently have.
Just remember everyone, the city advises you to stay home from work if you’re feeling sick. So when that weekend comes around and the city arbitrarily decides to limit CU, remember to take your three days on the medical to recuperate.
Imma staying home and being sick. I’m not exposing myself and my family to this disease. I needs to be off at least ‘til the summer! I ain’t taking no chances with my good health. Pass me more of them chips....
The brown brick wall in the photo...could it be the 011th District?
vanecko controls LLC has swipe at the pump.
They've been charging for toilet paper in Area North for about 6 months.
It should be replaced with Astro Glide.
WHO IS STILL SWIPING?????
...and most importantly, WHY?!?!?!?!?!
The “Supe” said it himself, “we’re not factory workers.” I take that as a direct order.
Speaking of viruses, why is the commander who stepped down from exempt position because he got caught up committing offenses in Indiana and then misinforming CPD about it still representing us on the pension board. Based on all the publicly released records, he clearly acted recklessly and the released audio says it all about character. I mean didn’t expect Johnson get “fired” for lying.
Resign from the pension board this week. Efforts are underway to demand you’re resignation publicly.
You can’t be trusted anymore especially with a fragile pension system.
Must be in 11
Hey, Germs have rights too.
Remember when the city gave out little small plastic containers with m&ms and smarties in them....to teach officers how to swallow pills due to a mass outbreak of some sort.
That's not hand sanitizer my friends....... its "Groot Lube" to teach officers how to take it when the contract gets finalized...You don't get raises, you lose your benefits and you must be ready to be fired at the whim of a civilian board which has............. NO police experience on it.
Lather up boys and girls it's gonna be a tough ride
Dyla Hata
Somebody is going to get an award.
Larri LightLoafer’s sanctuary revenue schemes are always welcomed.
To be amended and filed by Democratic State Representatives, House Bill 4571(a):
The Hand Sanitizer Station Attendant Act -
States that “no hand sanitizer may be pumped at a police station” in Illinois, “unless it is pumped by a hand sanitizer station attendant employed at the District station.”
It’s about jobs.
Vanecko Hand Sanitizer Company
I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t swipe.
Those will be like the soap dispensers in the stations. Out of soap & no one from whatever janitorial service we have on any given day will have the key for opening them up anyway.
Love cop the sign, thanks to whom ever posted it.
Swiping is exactly why this department is a laughing stock. No reason for it. Now it’s a total germ breeding ground
Anonymous said...
Yes. Leave it to the Chicago Department of Public Health, mind you during a public health crisis, to put your hand on the most disgusting surface in the city and simply use hand sanitizer afterwards. I'm sure the CDC would highly approve of this...Not!!!
3/08/2020 12:54:00 AM
Nothing is more disgusting than the steering wheels of the squad cars and PDTs
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don’t know what is like now but when we went all over the city in a citywide unit some of those stations were the precursor to the homeless camps in San Francisco. The stench was as bad as DOA stinker. If you can smell them you are inhaling molecules from their bodies. And what do you think are in those molecules. Don’t just rely on hand sanitizer.
3/08/2020 03:23:00 AM
So true all the disease just laying there,with all the money the mayor gives to organizations like say the millions she is set to waste on the family and friends program to give the thugs access to every district to restrict and judge police officers. Just think 3-5 per district punks from 18-24 will set policy! If your not fetal now the time is now to lay down unless your willing to lose everything on a civil suit!
All Showtime. Around 2009/2010, they installed a hand sanitizer pump by the processing rooms in my station. When it was empty, we asked to "district manager" to order a refill. Never got it. And that was that.
Are we supposed to pee on the wall, or is there another sanitizer in the washroom?
Now that's funny!!!! I laughed at that. Very good, very good. Thanks.
We can’t even get flushing toilets or paper towels in 025
I’ve never swiped since they put that ridiculous hand scanner in.
Talk about a Petri dish for germs and viruses.
On a serious note, if you believe you have been exposed at work, you cannot go home to your family. Can't risk infecting you family, what the dept have set for this situation? Where will dept members be quarantined and receive medical care? Is the city's plan no plan at all?
Up next, medical masks with smiles drawn on the outside.
Are you kidding me I was just had a call with CF the paramedics responding they don’t have any masks for themselves aware talking to a girl on the ambulance she says the hospitals don’t have them either I thought first responders were priority I guess not correct mayor another failure to protect the first responders
015 added one of those with no hand sanitizer in it.
I was stationed at the airport during the SARS epidemic. One of our jobs was to meet the incoming aircraft with suspected infected person. I showed the PPE equipment to a US Public Health specialist. He shook his head and told me its great gor painting cars. He took care of us and got us masks and eye protection that worked.
We have the pumps in 015, but they aren't filled. How long before the bags of sanitizer are available???
You can put literally anything under those sensors to swipe. All it does is change your "score." There's no reason to put your hand on the machine at all.
Anonymous said...
Cut the bullshit about hand sanitizer... The only, and I must stress only, scientifically proven way to stop coronavirus is AXE Body Spray for Men.
Simply spray yourself and everyone you meet and every place you travel with AXE Body Spray for Men. The difficult side effect of over-spraying AXE Body Spray for Men is that doing your job as normal becomes near impossible.
All these super models and other hot chicks appear and try to tackle you for sex. These gorgeous women will not leave you alone unless they get sex once they smell the AXE Body Spray for Men on you. This is a known issue with AXE Body Spray for Men but it is the ONLY method to combat coronavirus which we currently have.
3/08/2020 06:33:00 AM
LOL!
Worked with a guy who loved his (Eau de Toilette) "Odor Toilet."
Stupid m/fer used to always wonder why flies, skeeters, ticks,
chiggers and other assorted crawly itchy-scratchies used to
damn near pick him up and fly away with him...
"Hey fella... Stop wearing that scented shit.
You draw critters and WE don't like being bit."
He was more or less a typical skirt-chasing swing-dick...
"...For da lay-dees!"
Axe Body Spray?
Yuk!
A self respecting East St. Louis
pimp wouldn't be caught alive
wearing that shit.
"Nuh-uh m/fers, y'all just gots to kill me!"
Funny nonetheless tho'...
"The brown brick wall in the photo...could it be the 011th District?"
...Someone knows their stations! Give this man a prize!
The ones at 016 have been empty for months.
One line should be added to that sign, "payment can also be made via credit card, using the handy credit card swipe machine mounted on the wall next to this notice."
Hey sarge, I just got a few pumps in. Squad, uniform adjustment please.
Seems like a perfect storm for a blue flu. First we all have to touch the same device. Then the Superintendent orfers everyone who is sick to stay home. That's not a jobs action anymore is it?
6:09 AM
Change your name to Old Gary Balls and see if you get
more Google hits.
*******
Eddie the Raincoat King:
At least he's set for the next act in his life, flashing people
on rainy days.
I truly believe Corona virus will kill mankind in a slow death process!
Corona , the perfect blue flu. Shitty contract, Enough said.
Anonymous said...
Up next, medical masks with smiles drawn on the outside.
3/08/2020 12:45:00 PM
Can i get the heath ledger joker style smile :) ha ha
Don't fall for the democrat's, and media's attempt at blowing this Wuhan/Corona virus out of proportion to spread fear in the population.
Remember the democratic motto "never let a crisis go to waste."
This is an opportunity for the left to assert more control over our lives.
30 States in the United States have Corona virus.
GLM= Germ Lives Matter
Lovey & Lovey will be issuing a subpoena for that picture as evidence. Police murdering unarmed (insert color here) germs. Per the new general order, I had to tackle one of my coworkers today who attempted to rub their hands together after 2 pumps... only to find out the dispenser was empty. That was an award TRR.
is Bozo Beck in town this weekend or did he fly out again to Cali. Step up to the plate and tell us your protection plan for the boys and girls in Blue. If we don't get solid answers from you or the Imp fast then you have a major shit storm on you hands. You and Groot have been fucking over the Dept. consistently. All this is gonna change if significant numbers are attrited due to illness. All the bullshit clout, corruption, social justice, politic, COPA - Ropa Dopa Kangaroo Courts and review panels are meaningless. Bozo, you and Larry burned your bridge with us awhile back. There is no trust thanks to the vindictive mayor. If anyone thinks the Blue Flu was bad, wait til this flu starts impacting the public fork force.
So what is the Plan, more empty hand sanitizers for all Districts and Units. Is Fred Waller and Pillows West coming to the Districts with hand sanitizers and spray us after roll call- Washie, Washie.
Is this Certified Organic and Fair Trade Sustainably Sourced? Not only the hand sanitizer itself, but the container and stand?
Give some more thought to the surfaces you contact within any municipal vehicle. As I recall, the GAs at the MMD shops had to clean out the bio-hazards from the back seats. Ask the 2FM crew about their training that's supposed to protect them & you.
Start looking into the support Depts that are supposed to be taking care of you
Anonymous Anonymous said...
It should be replaced with Astro Glide.
3/08/2020 07:49:00 AM
LOLOLOLOLOL.
Anonymous said...
Up next, medical masks with smiles drawn on the outside.
I'm dying ROFL.
How about the station door handles and computer key boards we all use everyday!!! The janitors in the building keep washing the floors with old mop heads that stink and they never change, keep using dirty water and NEVER wipe door handles or wash windows!! So glad the City spends its money wisely.
Be careful that is a premium sanitizer dispenser worth $1,200. Plus the cost of installation another $250 to Vacheron LLP. Refill are a barging etc only $150 each. Chicago Values on display
Anonymous Anonymous said...
How about the station door handles and computer key boards we all use everyday!!! The janitors in the building keep washing the floors with old mop heads that stink and they never change, keep using dirty water and NEVER wipe door handles or wash windows!! So glad the City spends its money wisely.
Ever think of a bubble like the one they used in the movie a few years ago when the kid was confined to a bubble to avoid germs?
Can a taser-like device deploy a full body condom to envelop the arrestee? Like a hermetically sealed communerty mimber?
The whole support system and sub systems in Shitty City are subject is to total collapse from corruption, clout and incompetence should there be a covid-19 community spread. The dummies running the city don't have a clue. They fly by the seat of their pants which they soil regularly. City Hall is not trusted. City leaders are not trusted. Democrat Socialism doing what it does best - lying and disinformation.
Anonymous said...
I was stationed at the airport during the SARS epidemic. One of our jobs was to meet the incoming aircraft with suspected infected person. I showed the PPE equipment to a US Public Health specialist. He shook his head and told me its great gor painting cars. He took care of us and got us masks and eye protection that worked.
3/08/2020 02:12:00 PM
The city is cheap and is is run by patronage fools. Remember the time when " white powder" was being sent around the country? They only gave the police cheap masks and gloves instead of having these suspected poisons sent in the mail handled by hazmat folks. Don't be a fool. Unless the city supplies you with good protective gear refuse to respond.
Anonymous said...
Don't fall for the democrat's, and media's attempt at blowing this Wuhan/Corona virus out of proportion to spread fear in the population.
Remember the democratic motto "never let a crisis go to waste."
This is an opportunity for the left to assert more control over our lives.
3/08/2020 09:07:00 PM
THERE ARE OVER 9,000 PEOPLE INFECTED IN ITALY YA DUMB ASS. The hospitals are overwhelmed. How is it being blown out of proportion?!
AXE bodyspray is an Islamic Terrorist mainstay. If they did get out the back door during a raid, we could follow the stench. They even smell funky in their bodybag.
Mailbox Mary had the same rules!
Anonymous said...
Don't fall for the democrat's, and media's attempt at blowing this Wuhan/Corona virus out of proportion to spread fear in the population.
Remember the democratic motto "never let a crisis go to waste."
This is an opportunity for the left to assert more control over our lives.
3/08/2020 09:07:00 PM
THERE ARE OVER 9,000 PEOPLE INFECTED IN ITALY YA DUMB ASS. The hospitals are overwhelmed. How is it being blown out of proportion?!
3/09/2020 07:00:00 PM
We are not in Italy. Living conditions are different
THERE ARE OVER 9,000 PEOPLE INFECTED IN ITALY YA DUMB ASS. The hospitals are overwhelmed. How is it being blown out of proportion?!
3/09/2020 07:00:00 PM
It is a flu virus you moron. Unless it kills 15 million like the Spanish flu of 1918 did, this is just another virus making the rounds. The Swine flu killed over ten thousand in 2009 when Obama was President. Did you see as much panic then, fueled by the media? I didnt.
By the way, how do you feel about the dip in the market egged on by all of this fear mongering from the media, along with democratic politicians declaring their jurisdictions disaster areas?
If you would stop getting your information from MSNBC, CNN, and The View, you just may learn something. But I guess you will always be stupid.
By the way, don't forget to vote for your comrades next Tuesday.
The hand sanitizer that the city provided contains no alcohol. Won't do you any good.
Keeping Chicago germ free isn't free?
Axe body spray for men?
Oh yes. Spray me, then...
Kees me you fool!!!!
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