Please Call
Details are finally being released concerning the passing of our brother Officer. He was by all accounts, a dedicated family man and a good cop. We again extend deepest sympathies to his co-workers, friends and family.
We also implore those who are feeling depressed, lost or without hope to reach out to someone, anyone, for assistance in avoiding a path that there is no return from.
During our careers - just shy of three decades - the Department has gotten better (though far from perfect) in providing avenues that didn't exist back in the 1990s. These are dedicated professionals, many current and former cops themselves, who are more than passingly familiar with the trials and tribulations of being a police officer. It's completely confidential and does not endanger your continued employment.
The link is still on the right hand side with the Chaplains.
Labels: officer injured
posted by SCC at 12:07 AM
50 Comments:
the employee assistance center is wonerful They helped me For free as a retiree
SÇC I don't know who you are.
Many of us are curious.
Some of us don't care.
I do.
Partly because of the previous post.
Might be one guy might be a bunch of sorority sisters.
I don't care, bless you.
And THANK YOU!
You have to take care of yourself because the fucker sitting next to you doesn’t give a fuck about you or your family. It’s you and your family. This department has a bunch of hypocrites that only make it seem like they give a fuck when you die .
RIP this epidemic must stop! It seems that many people that decide to do this show zero outward signs before the decision is made to take their lives. Doing this you not only eliminate your self but you cause pain to your family and friends forever,for something they didn’t want you to do. Please brothers and sisters get help, reach out talk to a brother or sister in blue we are family and face many challenges that you face. Talk to the retired coppers we are here also. God help us all, bless the police amen!
I didn’t know him but, my heart goes out to him and his loved ones. May he Rest In Peace. My condolences to his family and coworkers.
The pressures of being a police officer are enormous.
Everyone needs to understand that before deciding to become the police.
Everyone can’t be the police, just like everyone can’t be a restauranteur or real estate developer.
Please, please, please. Choose a career that matches your personality profile. Seeing and hearing gruesome things changes your mindset and therefore your mind needs to be prepared for the changes to your ideology.
Some battle the mind gymnastics by coloring their arms with tats, others spend too much on cars, and still others drink and gamble.
Choose an outlet understanding that you are doing it to battle the Chicago wasteland known as Chicago.
You will thrive when you put on the armor of God.
Prayers for the families involved and his family in blue
RIP
Sorry it took need like this for you
05-5A
The entire 17th district is in shock. He was a good man. No one saw this coming. He was acting and behaving normal. No signs of distress. That's why everyone is shocked.
RIP, prayers for the officer, his family, the coworkers, and the officers who handled the scene.
I didn’t think the suntimes was able to write a positive story about the Chicago police.
RIP brother….you will be missed
Nothins workin. CPD just ruins a man’s soul.
I was severely depressed for a while due almost entirely to our working conditions and our days off being constantly cancelled. I could never plan a single event ON MY DAYS OFF with my family thru the spring or summer (or even the rest of the year because of the tier deployments) because the department would cancel days off constantly, and mostly last minute. I was always scrambling to try to get a babysitter to watch the kids. Apologizing to my wife and friends because they never saw me. Missed important life events with my kids. Then the department would routinely extend our tours last minute because someone got shot, or something was happening in another district. It became so overwhelming and I felt like I was drowning. I pleaded with everyone I could letting them know this was severely effecting many of us physically and mentally. The response I received from my capt and cmdr was “then quit.”
I told our district eap rep every time I saw him. Told our union rep. Everyone I could, I pleaded with them to make it stop. Just honor our days off. Then one day I ended up in a meeting when the days of cancelled issue was brought up to the superintendent, chief of patrol, chief of detectives, deputy chiefs etc, and they couldn’t have cared less. They were told directly how bad this was effecting our mental health. When I tell u that everyone one of them were complicit, they were. None of them stood up and spoke out for us. The previous supt rambled on about manpower and that it was a necessity, totally putting aside and not giving a shit about how it was severely affecting US, his workers, our mental health. I ended up using eap which I’m glad I did. It’s good to talk to someone to let some of this stuff out. I almost quit the job, I thought about ending things because I felt there was no end to this and that the people in charge clearly didn’t care about us AT ALL. I just couldn’t take it anymore. But after being in that meeting, I pretty much gave up at work. I stopped caring at all about work, advancing in my career, doing anything proactive or anything to help the department. I showed up, did the minimum required and went home. I started to treat work the way they were treating me. It helped. It got me thru. I made it thru the darkest time in my life. Now, we have a new supt, new chief of patrol and things seem to be getting better. They have to keep our days off. It’s the only thing keeping some of us sane. It’s a reset button that allows us to make it thru the next work week. To get away mentally from all this violence and negativity we see everyday at work. I understand things like the dnc where we have to work our days off. But, cancelling them because of Juneteenth, Father’s Day weekend, Labor Day weekend, gay pride, Memorial Day weekend, etc., come on. Any holiday in the summer is an excuse for them to cancel our days off. So if u have Father’s Day off, forget about it. You’re stuck working. It’s wrong! And that’s before they cancel days off last minute the day before because some other city is releasing a video of a police shooting that might not look good. I really hope this new administration does not go back that. It’s a quick way to mentally lose your entire department and destroy moral. I never saw so many coppers retire and leave the job for other departments than I have in the last couple years. Almost all due to the working conditions and many said because they could never count on even their days off. Honoring our days off is a huge step in keeping the people we got and keeping us mentally sane.
I was in a really bad spot at one point, had a coworker say to me “u should really go to eap. No I mean it, I think u really need to go.” Some how that got thru to me when it came from him. I went, poured my heart out, cried like a baby to someone I never met before in my life. Walked out of there somehow feeling better. That day I felt things started turning around for the better. I’m still here today and it’s hard to believe I was in such a bad spot contemplating doing something to myself. I think I’m a pretty happy guy and easy going and no one really would’ve expected it. I’m very thankful to that one friend / coworker for bringing it up. I can never see myself getting like that again. We all go thru some rough patches in life. Talking to someone about it can help. Nobody ever knew I went. Not even my spouse.
There is no stigma attached. Get the help.
God Bless his soul and his loved ones left behind. May they find comfort and mercy in God.
didn’t think the suntimes was able to write a positive story about the Chicago police.
RIP brother….you will be missed
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The writer at the Sun Times gave a great profile of the deceased.
The pictures of the family were soooooooo important.
Profiles were able to be substantiated.
Thank you SunTimes for writing the details (Ugly ones) that really help identify the breaking points.
I had the privilege of attending CPD’s Peer Support program as an surburban PO about 15 years ago with Joe Panico hosting and Rob Sobo doing some of the teaching. Back in the 70’s when I started you never showed emotion and discussed your feelings with your coworker, wife, etc, especially after a traumatic event, and you definitely never spoke with a mental health professional. What I learned is that most of us are dealing with demons. Some of us are lucky enough to have a support system, family, friends, clergy to talk to. Some of us have those systems but choose to keep things inside. I brother in law committed suicide in the early 90’s. He was the funniest guy, life of the party, great husband and dad. Whatever he was dealing with he never said and took it to the grave. My point to all this is that there is help available within your agency. There are dedicated professionals that can help and want to. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be the police now. Please reach out., it’s anonymous, it’s ok to talk about it. I’m hoping the Peer Support team is still around because these were some of the most amazing people I ever met. Stay safe everyone and god bless you.
RIP Brother
He was a positive person in 015, great personality and a human being. This Department can decay you with less a year before you retire and at times after. Don't let this job take you over and your family. You must focus on your real family and health/well being. Take time off and enjoy life now don't weight for 55 or 29 and a day.
RIP brother
05-05A
Well said my friend. Life is too amazing, hilarious, and important to let short/medium term problems take it all away from you. And even worse, those you leave behind!
I wish either the FOP or anyone within the city of Chicago could make it easier. I went to EAP when I was flipping through that brochure and I ended up in a no pay status for a couple months. Went to get help and was very negatively impacted by it. I don't think I'd go back. Unfortunately. They'll put people without guns and badges in call back but not someone who struggling from what they've dealt with on the job. Sad
Have heard of those with a terminal illness do such.
Just don't want to go through all the treatments and side effects of such.
Anonymous said...
The pressures of being a police officer are enormous.
Everyone needs to understand that before deciding to become the police.
Everyone can’t be the police, just like everyone can’t be a restauranteur or real estate developer.
Please, please, please. Choose a career that matches your personality profile. Seeing and hearing gruesome things changes your mindset and therefore your mind needs to be prepared for the changes to your ideology.
Some battle the mind gymnastics by coloring their arms with tats, others spend too much on cars, and still others drink and gamble.
Choose an outlet understanding that you are doing it to battle the Chicago wasteland known as Chicago.
You will thrive when you put on the armor of God.
4/06/2024 05:16:00 AM
Well said. The pressure and stress of this job is so immense now. It was not like this 15-20 years ago. Retired coppers can not relate and have no idea how bad this job is now. Especially if you’ve got a copa complaint or being sued. They are coming after us so hard now and firing or suspending officers at an alarming rate. Everyone is worried about being next. I joined to try to make a difference and help people. Now I’m just praying I can make it to retirement. The stress is real. The pressure is real. I feel it every single day I go into work. It’s a terrible work environment to feel like that everyday.
NOT ILLINOIS, NOT LEO.
Breaks my heart. So young.
One wonders the pressure put on officers (and their bosses, dept. heads) to perform.
I'm retired. Years ago (1990's?), a supervisor went to hit me. I took my hand, clench his wrist. "Do you realize what you're doing?"
"You don't know the pressure we're under." To wit, "the company doesn't care about you. They don't care about me."
I never told a soul. Don't know if things changed or not. We're both gone. Life goes on.....and it does.
Sincere prayers for the Officer. I think I can safely say there have been times in all of our lives when we wondered our self worth. We are all survivors, I guess.
Rip
05/5D
I have to admit. I am almost always surprised when this happens to someone I knew or know. I have yet to ever see any warning signs ahead of time. Maybe I should pay more attention, but people thinking about this tend to keep it to themselves.
Please reach out to someone. You will be leaving perople behind who have to pick up the pieces and get on with life. They have no choice...so make the call and exercise your choice.
May G-d have mercy on us all.
Enough said.
Suicide hotline (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), Now 988
Cop Line: 1-800-COPLINE – www.copline.org This is manned by retired cops.
Frontline Helpline 1-866-676-7500 - This is run by Frontline Responder Services. It offers 24/7 coverage with first responder call-takers.
Crisis Text Line - A service that allows people in crisis to speak with a trained crisis counselor by texting “Start” or “Help” to 741-741.
Veterans Crisis Line (Veterans only) 1-800-273-8255 & press 1, or text 838255 - A crisis line specifically for veterans of the US armed forces.
Fire/EMS Helpline 1-888-731-3473 - Also known as Share the Load https://www.nvfc.org/
Survivors of Blue Suicide - https://www.survivorsofbluesuicide.org/
Protecting the Guardian - https://protectingtheguardian.com/
Warriors Rest Foundation - https://www.warriorsrestfoundation.org/
Safe Call Now - https://www.safecallnowusa.org/
Online Directories
APA's Psychologist Locator service https://locator.apa.org
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Illinois Clinicians
https://banktheblue.com/our-clinicians/
Blue Line Fitness
Blue Line Fitness (blueline-fitness.com)
Please reach out for help. Call someone, a friend, Chaplain, priest, Rabbi, whoever, but don't think that you are alone. If you don't trust EAP or anything the department offers, there are outside resources. There are police friendly therapists and counselors out there.
I went to see a therapist before COVID to work through my grief of a friend being killed in LOD.
The hardest part was asking my primary dr for a referral. I’m an HMO. I felt like a schmuck.
That was the hardest part ! The asking .
got a therapist who I liked a great deal. I would go once a week and just talk …..
It was so nice to just talk, work through my feelings with someone who asked thought provoking questions that helped me resolve my overwhelming sadness. The more I talked, the better I felt.
I had been prescribed antidepressants by my primary that I took for a few months but we stopped them as I didn’t feel like needed them anymore.
I am so glad I did it. It was a rough patch and I was helped through it.
No shame in that game . No one ever knew ..
EAP did Nothing for me!!
If you are stripped or in a no-pay status they do NOT give a F about u!!!
They still carry water for department , and recite BS 35th St talking points
Prayers for the fallen, his family, friends, and colleagues. I never met him, but his loss is felt.
I’ve been thinking of suicide for years and I don’t think it has an iota to do with this job. But I can’t talk to anyone. What happens on a mental call if we ask them, hey you want to hurt yourself, you think about that? And they say yes I do want to hurt myself? We take them to the hospital, strap them down if we have to. You can’t talk about it with anyone, you’ll get hosed. Don’t believe any fool who tells you otherwise. I want to kill myself for a variety of reasons, none to do with the job. Talking about it isn’t going to change any of those legit reasons. It will only make it worse, I’d be stripped or worse.
I wish either the FOP or anyone within the city of Chicago could make it easier. I went to EAP when I was flipping through that brochure and I ended up in a no pay status for a couple months. Went to get help and was very negatively impacted by it. I don't think I'd go back. Unfortunately. They'll put people without guns and badges in call back but not someone who struggling from what they've dealt with on the job. Sad
You’re not the first to get screwed by opening up and you won’t be the last. It’s all talk from the FOP or the phony emails we get from whomever. They will strip you
St. Louis area 29 year Sgt. here. I started in St. Louis city where you could not win. If you ran call to call they said were shit canning calls. If you made a minor arrest or wrote a report they said you were hanging out of service. If you didn't make that arrest, they said you were scared. But yet the pieces of shit that they hired, no matter how lazy, always managed to skate and everything was OK, no matter what they did (some of it criminal).
I went to suburban department, busted my ass, and they had the balls to hire new cops making more than the veterans. I left and went elsewhere, but it is a very liberal place where you have to put up with some real bullshit. I went to Ferguson, and all of the other riots here. Some of my close friends were killed in the line of duty. I had to listen relatives and acquaintances badmouth cops. I had to work midnights, weekends, holidays, and see all of the trauma They are always trying to railroad cops at my current department. I have had some cops in my office crying. Every call they go to, they might get fired. Even calls where no one was hurt, or no one complained. I tell them to keep things in perspective. It is just a job, and these idiots making life miserable are just that. In fact, I usually have them laughing in the end and now many call me on a regular basis.
You guys at SCC often get me laughing, I sometimes wonder who you are. Probably a little like me. Thanks guys for helping me keep things in perspective. Believe it or not you have helped me get through it. I have been married 25 years and have 3 great grown kids. That is all that matters. Fuck the rest of this bullshit. It is just that.
W/O naming anyone a police officer in Southern Illinois was just off probation. Because she was a deputy sheriff she went to a LOT of accidents. It turns out over a 30+ day deployment period she was 1st on scene on over 20 fatal/critical car accidents. A man from another dept. along W/ a state trooper from another state were talking about police officer deaths from stress & suicide. The Chief mentioned the Deputy, the Iowa Trooper contacted the sheriff & asked if he could talk to her. Initially she showed NO SIGNS OF PROBLEMS. The trooper continued to talk W/ the Deputy. After a few days the Deputy realized how mentally unstable she had become witnessing & viewing so much tragedy in a month!! After talking W/ professionals the Deputy stated that she was sure she would have eventually taken her own life! W/O other cops giving a shit about their fellow brothers & sisters I feel more would die. The days of “the rubber gun squad” are over!!!!! Seek help, the list of places is a great start that was posted in the comments section. I was a paramedic in the “old” days where you sucked it up, you got drunk & swallowed your pain. Looking back how stupid. I have been off the “box” for 20 years & there are a number of calls that visit me in my dreams. I wonder if I would have sought help 20 years ago maybe I would be better now????? There’s no shame in asking for help. Cops, firefighters etc ALL think they are Superman goes W/ the badge. But even Superman had a weakness. Seeking help is NOT a weakness it’s a smart play. My heart goes out to his family, fellow officers & the city who it sounds like lost one hell of an asset. RIP brother your EOW
4/06/2024 08:18:00 PM
You're not alone. Just keep pushing. Do it for your parents, spouse, children, your pet(s), just about anyone in your life. That's all we can do. We owe it to those that we make a difference in their lives not to see us go out that way. I'm sorry but your post really tugged at my soul.
I went to eap and wanted to pass along that it helped me, but the guy asked me if I wanted to harm myself. I felt like if I told the truth and said yes, that he had no choice but to “do what he had to do” and psyc me. You could tell he didn’t want me to say yes, so I said no. He was noticeably relieved. I was too and we moved past it and talked. But be very careful how u answer that question when u go there. That could really start some dominos in motion. I wish you could tell the truth and talk thru it without having to skirt that subject. I guess everyone has protocols, like us. Someone says that to us and we drag them kicking and screaming to the hospital. I’m assuming same would happen at eap. Maybe someone who knows more can chime in. But I expected if I said yes, cars from 012 were going to show up and I’d be on my way to some hospital, by force.
Tell that to some of the veterans on this job that think you’re a pussy or soft for seeking some help. They’ll blame it on being some soft sh*t millennial but don’t realize it’s not the job sometimes that causes all the compounding stress. It’s divorce, family death, childcare issues, past trauma, unrealistic expectations of your family and yourself at times. I don’t understand some of the veterans sometimes. The job was shitty in some respects back then and some things have gotten better. Wouldn’t you want it to get even better for the guys and girls staying on this job the next 10-20+ years? It’s like wanting your kids to have a better life than what you and your wife had growing up.
Thankfully, I’ve been seeing a great therapist for years, which has helped me get thru the darker periods of my life. I have never seriously considered suicide, but can relate to others that can’t find any other way to end the pain. I understand feeling like you can’t talk to anyone, but it’s imperative that you do ! I know people mean well when they tell us to just talk to someone, but it’s not that easy. You don’t want to worry your family, your friends can’t handle it and give well-intended but bad advice and the dept really doesn’t give a FUCK !!! They only care about giving the impression that they do. I’ve been to EAP and had a positive experience, it’s a good place to start but I needed a little more advanced help. My therapist is awesome, very in-tune, empathetic and really gets me. I know it can be difficult to find the right one, as I’ve seen others before but didn’t connect to them like I do with this one.
For those of you struggling, THANK YOU for not giving up !!! Keep finding a reason to get up each day and know that you are needed and the world is a better place with you in it. We have decent insurance, find yourself a good therapist that you feel comfortable venting to and release some of that pressure. No matter how dark its looks you gotta believe thats its going to get better. Just keep swimming !!!
To: 4/06/2024 08:18:00 PM
Dear brother or sister,
Why would one fear being stripped of their badge more than ending their own life? I can't bear the thought of losing another member of our blue family. I may not have known the officer who ended his life personally, but that doesn't mean I don't feel deeply for him, his family, friends, and coworkers.
This sentiment extends to you as well. For all I know, you could be potentially my worst enemy, but I still couldn't bear to lose a fellow member to suicide.
I urge you to reach out to EAP or someone outside of EAP, as mentioned in this thread. It's important to understand that it's not EAP that complicates matters; it's the city's protocols when using medical.
Ensure that whoever you consult understands the implications of what could put you on no-pay status and ensures that the medical record only shows you are seeking "therapy," to keep it vague so the medical does not know whether it's for physical or mental health.
Please, take that step.
It breaks my heart to read about some of these people on here that need help and are not getting it. PLEASE know that I am praying for you and that you are not alone, even though you feel like you are. We all have gone through struggles and trauma and witnessed things on the job that you just can't shake or forget about. I still have nightmares and try to work through mine...please call someone and if they aren't helping or what you need, try someone else or the Suicide hotline, but keep trying.
You have to take care of yourself because the fucker sitting next to you doesn’t give a fuck about you or your family. It’s you and your family. This department has a bunch of hypocrites that only make it seem like they give a fuck when you die .
CPD is toxic. A 017 officer took her life in 2006. Before that she had an episode where she drove her personal car up by the Metra tracks off Wilson and Cicero. She was going to do it that night and 16/17 responded. I don’t know the story but I do know that nothing was done. Those fucking cowards were too afraid to be put in a position. People are fake on this job. All those “friends” didn’t help her at all. If something would be been done that night she probably would of been alive today. Female officers are super fucking fake and conniving. One useless female is a merit sgt in 17. She made it because her of aldermanic bro in law.
I’ve been thinking of suicide for years and I don’t think it has an iota to do with this job. But I can’t talk to anyone. What happens on a mental call if we ask them, hey you want to hurt yourself, you think about that? And they say yes I do want to hurt myself? We take them to the hospital, strap them down if we have to. You can’t talk about it with anyone, you’ll get hosed. Don’t believe any fool who tells you otherwise. I want to kill myself for a variety of reasons, none to do with the job. Talking about it isn’t going to change any of those legit reasons. It will only make it worse, I’d be stripped or worse.
I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I can only imagine how lonely that must feel. But please reach out. I’ve been in a situation where I felt alone. The feeling of an elephant on my chest. Our job does make us think the worst and sometimes it’s hard to see the solution or path. Talk to a partner if you don’t want to reach out. I hope you consider it.
4/06/2024 09:59:00 AM
Was a good article but I thought the Sun Times put way too much out there. Would have been better to wait and get their thoughts together. I saw it on Sun Times digital put they decided to keep it out of the Sunday paper which I thought was a good idea
Anonymous said...
"I’ve been thinking of suicide for years and I don’t think it has an iota to do with this job. But I can’t talk to anyone. What happens on a mental call if we ask them, hey you want to hurt yourself, you think about that? And they say yes I do want to hurt myself? We take them to the hospital, strap them down if we have to. You can’t talk about it with anyone, you’ll get hosed. Don’t believe any fool who tells you otherwise. I want to kill myself for a variety of reasons, none to do with the job. Talking about it isn’t going to change any of those legit reasons. It will only make it worse, I’d be stripped or worse."
4/06/2024 08:18:00 PM
Please Please Please do not lose hope! And please do not get discouraged or deterred from talking to someone for fear of losing your job. I have been where you are and I can speak from experience that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I still have my job, and more importantly I still have my life because I took the first step and reached out for help. There are many strategies that EAP and Peer Support utilize to get you the help you need without jeopardizing your career, but options they/you have vary depending on how early you reach out. The earlier you reach out the better as it provides more options. There are things that can be done all the way up to you holding the gun in your hand, but at that point it is still better to have your life than have your job. Did you know that if you go to a detox facility they won't even evaluate you for 24hrs to make sure you are completely sober when they do the evaluation. A lot can change in 24hrs, you can have a completely new outlook on life. It can buy you the time you need to voluntarily seek the outpatient treatment you need that both helps you and keeps you employed. Please Please Please reach out. Reach out to a Sgt you trust, your partner, a Peer Support member in your unit, the EAP, one of the Chaplains, reach out to somebody because just the act of reaching out and verbalizing your feelings, frustrations, and fears can be enough to get you going down the path to wellness. Take care and be safe!
Sgt Peterson 015
PS: If there's noone in your circle that you trust to reach out to, please send me an email with your cell and no other details and I will absolutely reach out and talk to you. You can utilize the Department databases to find me, think Data Warehouse Alpha Star Inquiry and of course you know how our email addresses are composed.
God Bless you my brother in blue...
I read in the slum times... The department, however, still has only 18 counselors serving its 11,684 members and apparently hasn’t met its longstanding goal of assigning one counselor to each of its 22 police districts.
11,684 Chicago Police Officers? What a crock of shit. Try 8300. lying bastards
May God Rest Your Sould Brother
My former partner once reached out to EAP for help and got stripped the following Monday. And if they suspend your FOID you immediately go into no pay status. If you need help go through your Primary care physician, they will direct you to help that is confidential. Nothing on this dept is confidential. Don't fall for that nonsense. Stay safe out there..... Retired in 2019 and couldn't be happier...
If you feel you can’t trust department EAP, please consider reaching out to a Bank the Blue vetted, culturally competent provider.
Still free, totally confidential.
Open to law enforcement in Chicago area.
Read provider profiles here:
https://banktheblue.com/our-clinicians/
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