It Ain't Just the Birds

Conehead's administration has seen the highest death rate among whales in recorded history!

• On a recent morning, Shedd Aquarium President and CEO Bridget Coughlin stood in front of a pool filled with six frolicking beluga whales, insisting that the institution, where five other whales have died in recent weeks, is not in crisis.

  Coughlin, who has a doctorate in biochemistry, also pushed back against a growing public perception that the aquarium might have bitten off more than it could chew in adding 10 more belugas to a population of eight resident whales.

The doctor doth protest too much - a 50% death rate among new arrivals is even worse than the death rate among established people (and folks) on the west side. There hasn't been a blood-letting like this since Ahab was sailing the Pequod with his 140 body guards crew

And the sad part is, with a little effort, there would be more lib-tards protesting the imported whale deaths than the the deaths over a summer weekend.