Free At Last, Free At Last

Thank God Almighty, Juicy is free at last!

• In a blockbuster ruling Thursday, the Illinois Supreme Court overturned the conviction of actor Jussie Smollett for an alleged hoax hate crime, a move that will spare the former “Empire” star a five-month jail sentence.

  Smollett had challenged nearly every aspect of his case, arguing that his legal woes should have been over after the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office struck a controversial deal to drop charges just a month after Smollett was indicted in February 2019.

  The agreement should have prevented Smollett from being charged for the same crime by a court-appointed special prosecutor a year later, according to the state’s highest court.

According to Dan Webb, the "special prosecutor," the Illinois Supreme Court said that crooked deals made by crooked Crimesha must be honored, lest people lose faith in the crooked system:

• “Make no mistake—today’s ruling has nothing to do with Mr. Smollett’s innocence,” Webb said. “The Illinois Supreme Court did not find any error with the overwhelming evidence presented at trial that Mr. Smollett orchestrated a fake hate crime and reported it to the Chicago Police Department as a real hate crime.”

But with enough money, you can hire a lawyer to sue anyone for anything. In this case:

• the judge in the case and the judges in the appeal process have full immunity from lawsuits;
• Crimesha also enjoys prosecutorial immunity;
• Webb was appointed and surely had an understanding that his job was also covered by prosecutorial immunity;

Which leaves who on the hook for damages?

• the CPD....

....who did everything correctly, with an outstanding investigation you seldom see in many other cases, tracking down video, witnesses, the offenders, the purchases of string and bleach, a fantastic interrogation and presenting an airtight case to Crimesha.....

....who promptly started taking calls from Tina Chen, who was Mrs Sparklefart's chief fixer before tanking the case with a deal that was impossible to justify.

Hey, maybe that's why Sparklefarts and Mrs Sparklefarts were allegedly in town recently? They knew this was coming down and wanted to be here to ....celebrate....with Juicy.