Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Newest Rumor

Very nice give and take on the previous few threads. Be sure to check it out and contribute your two cents worth.

New rumors though. We're hearing rumblings that the "sooper-secret" study group at 35th Street produced not one, not two, not even three, but twenty eight identical top scores. BUT TWENTY EIGHT IDENTICAL TOP SCORES. Say it again slowly in your head. Twenty eight. Identical. Say it out loud. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But we are hearing this exact thing from numerous credible sources. Twenty eight.
Say hello to your future bosses boys and girls. People this soft, and we mean softer than baby poo, are going to go far on this job. They couldn't even vary their answers enough to divert suspicion from the study group because that might mean that someone else got a better seniority date than they did. Does anyone care to confirm or deny this?
UPDATE: Sorry if we weren't clear. Readers who have gone through the archives would remember that this is about the recent D-2 BIS test. The one that they cancelled after the threat of legal action by the Lodge and had to retool and reschedule. Another test scandal would probably be an additional nail in the mayor's political coffin.


Anonymous leftisthebest said...

Would this be for the sergeant's test, or another? Things are worse now than they have ever been in the promotion of unqualified persons.

7/26/2005 11:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's talking about the dicks test. If you are really a cop you would know that.

7/26/2005 01:30:00 PM  
Anonymous (Sgt.) John Northen (Ret.) said...

You may gain some insight into "the Chicago (PD) way" by digesting the last two paragraphs of a certified letter received by then new Mayor Richard M. Daley on April 19, 1990. It was written on the letterhead of the "9171 Committee, an ad hoc committee representing more than 600 white, black, Hispanic and Asian-American sergeants. Our Mission: a fair promotional process within the Chicago Police Department."
We termed the RIGGED "oral interview" component of this so-called exam as "EXAMSCAM".
Compare "the Administrative Cluster" with your current HQ "study group". The text of the last two paragraphs follows:

(D) THE ADMINISTRATIVE CLUSTER. An analysis of a clearly-defined statistical aggregate of all administrative sergeants actually serving in "administration" units on April 16, 1987 provides overwhelming proof of fraud. Among these 36 sergeants, random chance would place 10 to 11 in the top 250. A bright group, the X-list places 20 in the top 250. The City claims an incredible THIRTY-FOUR (34 of 36) successes. Even with their demonstrated skills considered, cold mathematical precision sets the likelihood of such success at LESS THAN ONE CHANCE IN 13.8 TRILLION! Based on $4 ticket purchases, you would have a better shot at winning the Lotto jackpot TWICE!

All raw data and statistical exhibits have been reviewed by one of the nation's foremost experts in demographics, Dr. Pierre deVise, an acknowledged statistical expert. In addition, experts in psychometrics provided assistance. Describing the oral board as "inherently absurd", Dr. eVise stated "It goes beyond mere incompetence. It indicates deliberation and planning. There is no logical explanation for this other than RIGGING. IT HAD TO BE RIGGED." (emphasis CAPS added).

(End of letter to "da mare")

Would someone give this retiree a wake-up call when "da job" goes legit? (I will NOT hold my breath.)

7/26/2005 01:40:00 PM  
Anonymous John Northen said...

If your original statement does indeed refer to an exam for the rank of DETECTIVE, that is really pathetic. Use to be that the Dick's Test was the only LEGITIMATE promotional exam in the CPD. God, retirement with instant membership into the KMA Club is so-o-o-o good!

7/26/2005 01:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The detective exams have not been graded yet. This rumor while interesting is totally false. The study group, run by now retired Deputy Chief Kobel, did exist.

7/26/2005 03:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just because the scores haven't been released yet doesn't mean the test hasn't been graded. It was a long time ago and I doubt the tests have been sitting in a sealed box.

7/26/2005 06:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only thing good you can say about hiring out the testing process is that accounting firms don't sit on the results. Tests of this nature are almost always graded within 60 days, most within 45 days. This is a professional accounting firm. They don't just sit on boxes of tests. They grade them and move them out. End of story

7/26/2005 07:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a crock of bullshit. When the dick's test was legit, they computed your raw score after you left the classrrom and gave you the results forthwith.

Sounds like some of these "anonymous" posters are police brass and other sycophants.

In the City of Chicago, the word "MERIT" means anything but Webster's definition of merit.

Knock off the bullshit, "Boss"!

With very few exceptions, you can be the best street cop in the land, well-regarded and respected by your peers with an IQ above the 99th percentile. If you don't have your tongue deep inside the colon of politicians and/or upper CPD mgmt., FOGGEDABOUTIT!

Trust me on this. "Merit", my ass!

7/26/2005 08:30:00 PM  
Anonymous John Northen said...

Sorry. I am NOT an anonymous poster in the above "FUGGEDDABOUTIT" post.

7/26/2005 08:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "crock of bullshit" guy apparently doesn't understand what he is reading. Please read again and concentrate.

7/26/2005 09:52:00 PM  
Anonymous John Northen said...

I'm the "crock of bullshit guy".

There is absolutely no reason why multiple choice exams can NOT be computer scored IMMEDIATELY after the candidate leaves the classroom.

The City (and their contractors) can NEVER be trusted. It wasn't long ago that Corp. Counsel Mara Georges actually petitioned the U.S. District Court to void the SHAKMAN consent decree as unnecessary.. Whenever you hear the City of Chicago use the phrase "oral interview", think "blowjob". The City is relentless and incorrigible. They will always conceive of some scam that will deny promotion to MOST of our most deserving candidates, regardless of race and/or gender.

Somehow, a few deserving officers fall through the cracks and are promoted. The higher they rise, the more likely that they are political hacks and incompetent sycophants

The more time you give the City to "score" examinations, the more they will manipulate the process.

Let's "keep it real", anonymous. I suspect that you are an "exempt".

7/26/2005 10:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone know exactly who i have to give a blowjob to? Should i start at the top and work my way down or start with my sgt then lt, etc.?

7/27/2005 12:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

work your way from the bottom up, have your sgt introduce you to friends and remember, no teeth!

7/27/2005 07:07:00 AM  
Anonymous John Northen said...

Dear "Anonymous" (from 12:28 AM)

While I never had any practical experience with bureaucratic fellatio, cunnilingus or analingus, I respectfully disagree with the last poster. Aim high! If you're not an exempt already, I suggest you make a few appropriate phone calls and get an empty-holster job. Shuffling paper at CPD HQ would be an excellent career move. Also, CLOUT is color-blind.

This is not to say that being an outstanding street cop/dick and an exempt need be mutually exclusive. Compare the careers of those holding the rank of "Chief" in the CPD.

God forbid if you're currently assigned to street duties in a district like Fillmo'(011) or da 'wood (007), etc. "Da REAL PO-leese" are much more likely to get hurt, if not worse. Use your head!

Stay safe and always swallow with passionate enthusiasm, officer.

7/27/2005 09:00:00 AM  
Anonymous John Holmes said...

Fuck Cynthia also! Yeah!!! And that fat-ass in 006!!!

7/27/2005 02:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Johnny Wadd"

No ad hominem attacks, please. Even the moderately to morbidly obese can make good bosses.

7/27/2005 03:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with the other mr anonymous....if earnst and young has half as many scorers as they did proctors for the test (oh and mine was a piece of ass), this thing should have been in our hands by may 1st...although i don't know if i want the fate of my future balancing in the hands of some 21 year old college grad who is more worried about how many lincoln park trixies he's going to bang this weekend after some lame-ass khaki short street fest.


7/28/2005 07:38:00 PM  

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