Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Latest Rumor out of 35th St.

This was just too funny to leave at the bottom of a long string of comments, so we're giving it it's own place of honor. Whichever anonymous poster put this up, you ought to contact us for a writing job. -SCC

CPD will be making a list of P.O.'s interested in helping our French Gendarme brothers. Your expenses (housing, meals, etc.) will be paid by the French Govt. Expect to be deployed for 2 months.

There are some uniform requirements being investigated, so far you have to leave your sidearm back here and carry only your baton, flashlight and tourist map of Paris. You'll have the option of wearing your uniform hat or a black beret. You could opt for either smoking two packs of cigarettes per day or not bathing for the entire 2 months. Those who do both will be awarded the Legion of Merit medal from the French Govt.

24 Comments:

Anonymous The Rock said...

35th was actually considering berets last year...believe it.

11/08/2005 06:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear that Dana Starks will personally escort the regiment!

11/08/2005 06:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought smoking two packs of cigarettes per day AND not bathing for 2 months was required in France?

11/08/2005 06:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Dana is in charge we'll probably be wearing a Fez instead of a beret.

Oberst Leutenant Feldmarschall Mauer thought about putting TRU in berets. Those guys think they catch shit now? That would have been hilarious.

11/08/2005 06:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want to know if I can meet PePe LePew. He could lead the rgiment but I know the bosses won't like it because we could finally claim we have ADULT supervision.........ROFLOL

11/08/2005 07:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry...Regiment...Still ROFLOL

11/08/2005 07:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say we conduct a seat belt mission over there...that will show em we mean business

11/08/2005 07:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are the same ladies who went to DC going to be going to France to sevice the real police????

If you thought the French hated us before, just send a unit of CPD goofs over there and the French will break off all diplomatic relations with us.

11/08/2005 07:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could we possibly send P.O.'s to France if it's not located in the DOC ?

11/08/2005 08:18:00 PM  
Anonymous 35th St. Rumor Monger said...

More out of 35th St.:

1st Deputy CAPS Co-ordinator Starks will command the ranks. He will be opting for the fashionable Algerian Dashiki and Fez. Beat Meeting schedules are already being co-ordinated with the leaders of the local uprising. The current strategy calls for an "airing of grievences" by the insurgents. Rev. Meeks will then instruct them on how to litigate with the local officials to get what they want. If this strategy does not work out a contingency plan is already devised.

All members of the German American Police Association are being contacted as we speak.

11/08/2005 08:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a real nightmare last night! I was brought out of retirement at gunpoint, forced into my old uniform, taken to 54 W. Hubbard Street and made to stand roll call in the old MTU on the midnights. Then I went down into the tube, and fell asleep despite the noise. I woke up in my own bed with my heart racing. Thank God!

11/08/2005 09:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FUCK FRANCE!!!

11/08/2005 10:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We should ship over the entire command structure.
We could watch ALL of Europe burn then!

11/09/2005 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This thread is too funny. I guess I won't be going back to France any time soon.

I actually had a good time when I went a few years back. Toured Versaille palace, (built while Americans were still living in cow dung huts), the Eiffle Tower, the Arch of Triumphe, The Louvre Museum, Notre Dame . The people were very nice, but, alas, that was before the Euro dollar, The Fair Trade mess, 9-11, and all the other bullshit.

I guess it's off to Greece for me....

11/09/2005 01:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

any rumors on which districts are getting cameras installed in thier vehicles first? and wasnt the dept going to install those fancy emergency lights on all the umarked vehicles or was that just blowing smoke to the media like always?

11/09/2005 01:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The cameras will take the last little but of fun away this job provides. GPS, and Cameras how about surprise searches twice every shift where they count your money? What's next?

11/09/2005 01:43:00 AM  
Blogger Fenian28 said...

Chirac is a pussy

11/09/2005 02:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GPS, and Cameras how about surprise searches twice every shift where they count your money? What's next?

11/09/2005 01:43:07 AM


If you are doing something that you shouldn't be doing, something apparently illegal by the tone of your "counting money" remark, then maybe you SHOULD just resign since there is no "fun" left anymore.

11/09/2005 03:18:00 PM  
Anonymous bag man said...

I have no problem with wallet checks at the beginning and end of my tour. I always roll up my C-notes, lubricate it and shove it up my ass.

11/09/2005 06:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ron Hubberman requests that we all wear thigh highs, high heels and small see through silky panties to show are manmeats.

He loves that look on a man!

When in France.... be like a big homo like when at home!

11/09/2005 07:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

want to join a pipe band?

11/09/2005 11:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry folks, the lastest rumor on this is that the feds were going to send five Marines. However, they could get no male Marines to volunteer, so they were going to send five pregnant female Marines. If that happens, why don't we ask them to take the former commander of O'Hare - Peterson, he could lead five pregnant Marines, after all, he is a born leader!

11/12/2005 02:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And, he is a former jarhead! Once a Marine, always a Marine. Semper fi!

11/12/2005 02:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Phat Phil in full uniform with beret, [rainbow colored, for P.C. of course], waddling his way past the Eifel Tower, with a 3 ft. loaf of French bread under each arm, and of course, Bicycle Boy Murphy in his usual spot with nose stuck in Phat's ass. Wee-Wee Chirac, thought you had problems before? Maybe Daley, HubbieMan?,and Starks will be called up for reinforcements...

11/12/2005 01:09:00 PM  

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