Thursday, May 18, 2006

And for my next trick...

  • A man taking a break from painting burned down his house after trying to snuff out a cigarette in a bowl of paint thinner.

    Stevie Spencer had put the bowl on his coffee table before taking a smoke break about 10 p.m. Saturday.

    ''I forgot paint thinner was in the bowl,'' Spencer said. ''I thought it was water.''

The house was a total loss. Tomorrow, he's going to try to put out a cigar in a bowl of nail polish remover. And if he lives through that one, he can be seen flicking matches at a bucket of lantern fuel down at the trailer park this Saturday.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Light um up if you got em!

5/18/2006 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sgt. List will be out today. Don't ask me how I know , but I do. Sixty people are supposed to be on this one.

5/18/2006 02:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go 019 "Scooters"!!!!!!!!

The real mother fuckin' Po-Leece.

5/18/2006 03:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

019 "scooters"
LOL

5/18/2006 03:51:00 AM  
Blogger Westcide Dog said...

19 Scooters? Could you consider them ass-draggers like my dog?

5/18/2006 08:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Johnny Cakes said...

....and I love you too Vito.....you massive pile of man love

5/18/2006 09:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FAMOUS QUOTES... "I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ON THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT"

"DETECTIVE IS A DEAD END JOB"

"I WAS PERSONALLY TAPPED BY SUPERINTENDENT CLINE TO ADVANCE HIS VISION FOR CRIME REDUCTION
HERE IN THE 23RD DISTRICT"

"I RUN THE WATCH KEVIN, NOT FOP!!!"

"I WILL BE A COMMANDER WITHIN 2 YEARS"

"ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK"

"I AM ASSIGNING EVERYONE TO THE LATE WAGAON, 1800 HOUR START"

"THE PROMOTIONAL TESTING PROCESS
IS ABOVE REPROACH"

"OFFICERS OF THE WATCH, ANY OBSERVATIONS AND OR COMMENTS?"

"NO I'M NOT AN ATTORNEY BUT EVERYONE THINKS I AM"

"SERGEANTS DO NOT MAKE ARRESTS"

"I PERSOANLLY THINK WE HAVE THE BEST WATCH IN THE CITY"

"I WILL NOT BE TOLD BY FOP HOW TO ASSIGN OFFICERS ON MY WATCH KEVIN"

"I WANT A DRESS CODE FOR TACT AND GANG OFFICERS"

"I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO PARTICIPATED IN THIE DUAL SEAT BELT AND TEMPORARY REGISTRATION-TAG ENFORCEMENT MISSION, IT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS"


SINCERELY,
CAPTAIN THOMAS LEMMER
3RD WATCH 023 DIST
FORMER ACTING COMMANDER
RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT

5/18/2006 12:55:21 AM

5/18/2006 10:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Sgt's will NOT be posted today, because there is NO Sgt's list to post.

Above Svengali is smoking crack.

5/18/2006 10:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so depressed today. just really depressed. everything is an effort. no fun anymore at all. bye,bye, miss american pie.

5/18/2006 10:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GEEKS. LOVABLE GEEKS. ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST, AND ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST. HEY, HEY, HEY, GOOD BYE. LMAO. GEEKS, WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. LMAO.

5/18/2006 12:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SGT. LIST OUT. NO BULL. CLASS STARTS THIS MONDAY. FOP GOT THE INFO.

5/18/2006 01:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

area 2 gun team are you listening, ya all should be called MUSKET GETTERS. and the MUSKET GETTERS got 12 MUSKETS from a 101 year old man yesterday. the MUSKET GETTERS are looking for 18th century firearms now, i hear. big investigation now, i hear also that the investigation is called THE DA MUSCKET CODE. LOSER BOY SCOUT TROOP THATS ALL THEY ARE. BOSS, BOSS, I GOT A SENIOR CITIZEN ON THE WEST SIDE THAT GOTS 2 MUSKETS UNDER HIS WHEELCHAIR BOSS. GOOD JOB. LETS TAKE HIM DOWN TODAY. LETS MAKE THE CITY SAFE FROM THESE OLD PEOPLE. LOSERS. MISFITS FROM REJECT ISLAND.

5/18/2006 01:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NO promotional list will be out until the merit selections are made. HELLOOOOOOO?

If you don't see merit selection information being posted, then there will be no promotions.

5/19/2006 07:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When will you guys stop calling their bullshit "merit" selections rather than "clout" selections.

You give the word "MERIT" a bad name.

5/21/2006 09:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Join the NRA only $35 help protect the freedoms of honest Americans!

5/22/2006 01:39:00 AM  

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