Chicago - For Sale!
At least (according to the current plan), we will be spared the ignominy of driving mobile billboards. The Sun Times and Tribune both report that efforts to sell the naming rights of everything in the City will not affect squad cars or fire apparatus (though we might have "sponsored" stations). We would like at least one station sponsored by Trump Casinos. Our monthly poker games would certainly pick up.
Quick! Name some sponsors for various police stations, fire houses, and other public venues to raise money for Daley's massive shortfall in the budget. That fire house that had the hookers? They could be sponsored by some of our finer adult entertainment venues. A neighborhood restaurant or two could buy the naming rights to various police stations. Haithcock could name her political offices after Fred Hampton. Let's see some (clean) creativity.
Quick! Name some sponsors for various police stations, fire houses, and other public venues to raise money for Daley's massive shortfall in the budget. That fire house that had the hookers? They could be sponsored by some of our finer adult entertainment venues. A neighborhood restaurant or two could buy the naming rights to various police stations. Haithcock could name her political offices after Fred Hampton. Let's see some (clean) creativity.
posted by SCC at 12:02 AM
55 Comments:
WWWWOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO...Im 1st
POLEKATZ located in Bridgeview, would like to sponser the CFD
It's Monday. Pass the Kool-Aid! Da job is legit!
City Hall to be renamed after a (real business):
Crafty Beaver (hardware store)
Were 1st: Your not gettin away with this.
CPD squad cars
CAPS Together We Can
Our subliminal message worked.
Caps Together We Can stands for:
CHICAGO TODAY WITHOUT CLUE=CTWC
City Council:
ALDERPERP WAYWARD HOUSE.
Ft Kool-Aid. We already know for whom this name goes to.
In fact, the new manuals are hot off the presses!
Please see our photo.
Did a FUCKING prick ever write you a traffic ticket?
Check out . . . .
http://copswritingcops.com
The 025 District should be sponsored by the Americans with Disabilities because of the officers who insist on parking in handicapped spots (even) when the lot is empty!!!
Last, Da Mayor I DEClare has instructed us to abscond with your title SCC approved by vote by Alderperp Wayward House:
We have sold rights to call all advocate files and thereby stamp them with:
SECRET COPS CONSPIRE=SCC
KOOLAID WAS THAT A SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE ON YOUR QUICK BLINK LINK. What happened to our happy koolaid face?
the selling of America: selling governmental buildings, roadways, bridges, ad space on gov't. cars and trucks, municipal stadiums, etc., etc.; it should come as no surprise, the mayor and others have sold their souls (if they had one) a long time ago....
Mutual of Omaha's Wild kingdom brings you "Englewood"
Did anyone see that CNN special about Texas police using bait cars to catch auto thief’s. Man that was some funny stuff. They have these vehicles packed with all kinds of electronics. CNN played the footage of the thief’s in action and the expressions on there faces is absolutely priceless. The follow car hits a couple buttons on a computer and the engine shuts off, the windows roll up, the doors lock them inside. then they turn on the radio with that "bad boys" song from cops. f-in priceless.
1:39, Fucking great!
I'll take the patrolman one with no clout; Sand paper exterior, with pebbles inside. Lubricated by super glue!
Thanx- I'm laffin' my ass off here as well! (I needed a few ha-ha's!) I gotta hand it to ya SCC, you set us up with a great thread here to lampoon every district and facet of the city... c'mon po-po... enter and sign in with some more yuk-yuks already! Enuff of the long off-topic drivel- you're wasting a great opportunity! (Kudos also to Frannie and the stringerz at the Daily Rags for starting it off!)
This Early Morning D.U.I. brought to you by SEISER...
P.O. SEISER - Sponsored by Federal Express®
Introducing New FedEx POUND® - ""When You Absolutely, Positively Proceeded to RUN that LIGHT Overserved Overnight!""
The Area Two Gun Team-
brought to you by DR. SCHOLL'S
"Someone YOU know Gellin' Like a Felon, with a .25 Auto, Kellin' an' Kellin''?"
"Drop a Dime and Start Tellin', `Melon!"
City of Chicago
Mayoral Chief of Staff
RON HUBERMAN
Brought to you by LEMON PLEDGE®
Try new PLEDGE® "Grab-It WET™"!
Delightfully Damp!
LEMON PLEDGE® - Always Lemony FRESH! Like "freshly squeezed!
http://copswritingcops.com
How long until Bt 933 is on that site?
What about Stark's new order for CAPS meetings. He's got one job to fix CAPS, hes making what 135000 a year and been in charge of CAPS for like six months and all the idiot can come up with is and get this "FROM NOW ON ALL CAPS MEETING WILL BE HELD IN A CIRCULAR FORMAT" inspectors will be out to make sure the order is followed. What a fucking joke this Department is.......
Starks is still "waiting in the wings' hoping the "little guy on the 5th floor" will join Ryan at the MCC or Fat Phil's little heart gives out. Then watch out Charlie Williams it will be payback time !
a division of Alberto-Culver© Company.
alive with STYLE!
Try our hot new styling line if you wanna shape, grip, and whip some life into your work and hair!
Just so you know I finally found my unmarked squad car after my weekend of binge drinking. I don't really remember parking it at the Leatherman's Bondage Drinking Emporium on North Broadway Street. But thank you to that Northside tactical guy who located it. Us Irish southsiders always get lost up north.
Now I have to find Terry McLilMan who is out on a toot since he was NOT promoted to Lt. by merit. If anyone sees him let me know. He frequents after hour cop bars and is known to fall alseep on the crapper in the bar's john.
Now I just have to stop and refill the car cooler so I have access to some brewski to cool the shakes.
Got to go get ready for the downtown marchers. I will lead my men into that crowd with pride. Will the downtown bars be open during the march? I wonder?
And if any one sees a pink men's g-string with pink fur around the front anywhere I was this weekend let me know. The weekend's binge was a total lost for me. They are my favorite to wear under my uniform.
Lt. Richie Scotch Breath
Email me at:
carcoolersarecool@meritpromtion.com
City Hall will soon be sponsored by Peter Francis Geraci, bankruptcy attorney. Obviously, 26th and Cal will be sponsored by hundreds of little defense lawyer ads. The new traffic vests will be sponsored by Budweiser. CAPS will be sponsored by Viagra.
Uniforms rights sold and sponsored by co-opted EL PACHUCO
WWW.ELPACHUCO.COM for your new uniform photos.
It's 3:30am and he's still not home yet. She's waited for him many times before, but this time she has a bad feeling. It would be a lot easier if she knew that it was another woman, but..it's not.
You see, her husband is a cop.
+++++++++
What kind of nonsense is that? I been married and the police a long time and I can tell you that my wife sleeps just fine at night. If she thought for a second that there was another woman, I wouldn't be typing this right now!
Your just making up exscuses for bad behavior. Grow up.
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-gangs01.html
Just a taste of the article:
At Camp Cedar II, about 185 miles southeast of Baghdad, a guard shack was recently defaced with "GDN" for Gangster Disciple Nation, along with the gang's six-pointed star and the word "Chitown," a soldier who photographed it said.
Real nice!
CITY OF CHICAGO
CHIEF OF STAFF
RONALD HUBBERMAN
SPONSERED BY.....
MAN LUBE, WHEN KY
JUST WON'T DO....
7-11 NEW DRINK SENSATION
THE EVEN BIGGER BIG GULP
INSPIRED BY
RONALD "HAPPY SWALLOWEEN"
HUBBERMAN
p.s "excuse me, can i PUSH in
your stool?"
35th and Michigan sponsored by COOLEY HIGH and NAPPY HEADZ STYLING..... yeah you know...
THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT
SPONSORED BY
L A P A
WHERE QUALIFICATION IS CONSIDERED
A DIRTY WORD
SCC...brought to you by the makers of HATER-ADE!
One hundred and seventy years ago, we crushed you at the Alamo.
Today is only the beginning of the pathetic defeat of the United States by my Mexican progeny.
With the help of your liberals, Hollywood and the mainstream news media, we will conquer the United States without firing a shot!
Most Americans have already forgotten what they had for breakfast, let alone the Alamo.
Lets take care of those of us from the USA before we take care of anyone else. NO more free schools! NO more free anything until you follow the rules! Get out of our country! Yes this is the land of the free. If you care about this country become a member of it the right way.
FILLMORE brought to you by
Moooooooooooooo AND ONIK!!!!
"we gotz po'chops and chickn wings too!" WORD UP!!!.."WESTSIDE!!!"
Fillmore aint shit anymore, 25% yuppie, so quit bragging about working there. TommaBunns runs a weak Fillmore!
016 should be named after an animal shelter cause they both are filled with USELESS DOGS!!!!!
And worthless pussies (cats).....
Anonymous said...
Fillmore aint shit anymore, 25% yuppie, so quit bragging about working there. TommaBunns runs a weak Fillmore!
5/01/2006 11:34:45 AM
Have to agree and I still work here. The reason is because I did all that ghetto crap for years so I see Filmore turning into the new yuppie place to be so why leave. Is 011 busy, well of course but is it the same it was 7-9 years ago?? Hell No! I laugh when I here the young guys talk about Harrison(Rangers) and how busy and rough it is. Its a former shell of what it once was. Give it a few more years and it might be as slow as 013, look at how that rough ghetto has been turned around.
019th District.....
Sponsored in part by Viagra.
Most of the bosses need a little help gettin it up before they stick it in your ass!
Any news yet on "The Million Juan" march?
Yes as of 12 noon there is 300,000 people marching down town! They all came in 2 cars
YEA AND NOT ONE DRIVERS LICENSE OR INSURANCE CARD
1st and 16th said...
Anonymous said...
Fillmore aint shit anymore, 25% yuppie, so quit bragging about working there. TommaBunns runs a weak Fillmore!
5/01/2006 11:34:45 AM
Have to agree and I still work here. The reason is because I did all that ghetto crap for years so I see Filmore turning into the new yuppie place to be so why leave. Is 011 busy, well of course but is it the same it was 7-9 years ago?? Hell No! I laugh when I here the young guys talk about Harrison(Rangers) and how busy and rough it is. Its a former shell of what it once was. Give it a few more years and it might be as slow as 013, look at how that rough ghetto has been turned around.
5/01/2006 12:11:41 PM
25% yuppie? Where do you see so many victims?
You mean on the east end of 1125's beat?? Maybe about 1-2%. Must be a dog ass talking, because most of us stiil see the beast running rampant out here.
Ya, Ya I know it isn't the donkey show it was in the late 80's and the early 90's, but there are no ghettos in the nation running as strong as they did during the "crack cocaine epidemic."
It's still a great place to learn and work and it will probably be like that for a loooong time. Way too many beasts to displace.
SCC: new thread alert!
from the suntimes:
Gangs claim their turf in Iraq
The Gangster Disciples are the most worrisome street gang at Fort Lewis because they are the most organized, Barfield said.
Barfield said gangs are encouraging their members to join the military to learn urban warfare techniques they can teach when they go back to their neighborhoods.
"Gang members are telling us in the interviews that their gang is putting them in," he said.
MILLENIUM PARK was always going to be Richard M. Daley Park. So no expense was too great, no sacrifice by the citizens or employees of Chicago too unbearable.
Cut the benefits, raise the taxes, gouge the citizens, let the potholes grow, King Richard must have his monument! Our own version of Nebuchadnezzar has built his Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
Let’s see an alderman propose to sell the naming rights to that piece of real estate to Disney or Boeing.
On 11 Sept. 2001 this country experienced an invasion by Middle Eastern terrorists bent on killing Americans and destroying all aspects of American life, from social to economic, to further a political agenda. As we sit around today jesting about sponsorship of the City of Chicago another invasion aimed at furthering a political agenda is occurring downtown. Keep voting for democrats and see our country destroyed quicker and more completely than Osama Bin Ladin ever imagined.
Take the time to read this; It ought to scare the pants off you!
We know Dick Lamm as the former Governor of Colorado. In that context his thoughts are particularly poignant. Last week there was an immigration overpopulation conference in Washington, DC, filled to capacity by many of American's finest minds and leaders. A brilliant college professor by the name of Victor Hansen Davis talked about his latest book, “Mexifornia," explaining how immigration - both legal and illegal was destroying the entire state of California. He said it would march across the country until it destroyed all vestiges of The American Dream.
Moments later, former Colorado Governor Richard D. Lamm stood up and gave a stunning speech on how to destroy America. The audience sat spellboun d as he described eight methods for the destruction of the United States. He said, "If you believe that America is too smug, too self-satisfied, too rich, then let's destroy America. It is not that hard to do. No nation in history has survived the ravages of time. Arnold Toynbee observed that all great civilizations rise and fall and that 'An autopsy of history would show that all great nations commit suicide.'"
Here is how they do it," Lamm said:
"First, to destroy America, turn America into a bilingual or multi-lingual and bicultural country." History shows that no nation can survive the tension, conflict, and antagonism of two or more competing languages and cultures. It is a blessing for an individual to be bilingual; however, it is a curse for a society to be bilingual. The historical scholar, Seymour Lipset, put it this way: "The histories of bilingual and bi-cultural societies that do not assimilate are histories of turmoil, tension, and tragedy." C anada, Belgium, Malaysia, and Lebanon all face crises of national existence in which minorities press for autonomy, if not independence. Pakistan and Cyprus have divided. Nigeria suppressed an ethnic rebellion. France faces difficulties with Basques, Bretons, and Corsicans.
Lamm went on: “Second, to destroy America, invent 'multiculturalism' and encourage immigrants to maintain their culture. I would make it an article of belief that all cultures are equal, that there are no cultural differences. I would make it an article of faith that the Black and Hispanic dropout rates are due solely to prejudice and discrimination by the majority. Every other explanation is out of bounds.â€
“Third, we could make the United States an 'Hispanic Quebec' without much effort. The key is to celebrate diversity rather than unity.†As Benjamin Schwarz said in the Atlantic Monthly recently: "The apparent success of our own multiethnic and multicultural experiment might have been achieved not by tolerance but by hegemony. Without the dominance that once dictated ethnocentricity and what it meant to be an American, we are left with only tolerance and pluralism to hold us together." Lamm said, "I would encourage all immigrants to keep their own language and culture. I would replace the melting pot metaphor with the salad bowl metaphor. It is important to ensure that we have various cultural subgroups living in America enforcing their differences rather than as Americans, emphasizing their similarities."
"Fourth, I would make our fastest growing demographic group the least educated. I would add a second underclass, unassimilated, undereducated, and antagonistic to our population. I would have this second underclass have a 50% dropout rate from high school."
"My fifth point for destroying America would be to get big foundations and business to give these efforts lots of money. I would invest in ethnic identity, and I would es tablish the cult of 'Victimology.' I would get all minorities to think that their lack of success was the fault of the majority. I would start a grievance industry blaming all minority failure on the majority population."
"My sixth plan for America's downfall would include dual citizenship and promote divided loyalties. I would celebrate diversity over unity. I would stress differences rather than similarities. Diverse people worldwide are mostly engaged in hating each other - that is, when they are not killing each other. A diverse, peaceful, or stable society is against most historical precedent. People undervalue the unity it takes to keep a nation together. Look at the ancient Greeks. The Greeks believed that they belonged to the same race; they possessed a common language and literature; and they worshipped the same gods. All Greece took part in the Olympic games. A common enemy, Persia, threatened their liberty. Yet all these bonds were not strong enough to overc ome two factors: local patriotism and geographical conditions that nurtured political divisions. Greece fell. "E. Pluribus Unum" -- From many, one. In that historical reality, if we put the emphasis on the 'Pluribus' instead of th e 'Unum,' we will balkanize America as surely as Kosovo."
"Next to last, I would place all subjects off limits; make it taboo to talk about anything against the cult of 'diversity.' I would find a word similar to 'heretic' in the 16th century - that stopped discussion and paralyzed thinking. Words like 'racist' or 'xenophobe' halt discussion and debate. Having made America a bilingual/bi-cultural country, having established multiculturalism, having the large foundations fund the doctrine of 'Victimology,' I would next make it impossible to enforce our immigration laws. I would develop a mantra: that because immigration has been good for America, it must always be good. I would make every individual immigrant symmetric and ignore the cumulativ e impact of millions of them."
In the last minute of his speech, Governor Lamm wiped his brow. Profound silence followed. Finally he said, "Lastly, I would censor Victor Hanson Davis's book Mexifornia. His book is dangerous. It exposes the plan to destroy America. If you feel America deserves to be destroyed, don't read that book."
There was no applause. A chilling fear quietly rose like an ominous cloud above every attendee at the conference. Every American in that room knew that everything Lamm enumerated was proceeding methodically, quietly, darkly, yet pervasively across the United States today. Discussion is being suppressed. Over 100 languages are ripping the foundation of our educational system and national cohesiveness. Even barbaric cultures that practice female genital mutilation are growing as we celebrate 'diversity.' American jobs are vanishing into the Third World as corporations create a Third World in America. Take note of California and ot her states - to date, ten million illegal aliens and growing fast. It is reminiscent of George Orwell's book "1984." In that story, three slogans are engraved in the Ministry of Truth building: "War is peace," "Freedom is Slavery," and, "Ignorance is Strength."
Governor Lamm walked back to his seat. It dawned on everyone at the conference that our nation and the future of this great democracy is deeply in trouble and worsening fast. If we don't get this immigration monster stopped within three years, it will rage like a California wildfire and destroy everything in its path, especially The American Dream.
Anonymous said...
Did anyone see that CNN special about Texas police using bait cars to catch auto thief’s. Man that was some funny stuff. They have these vehicles packed with all kinds of electronics. CNN played the footage of the thief’s in action and the expressions on there faces is absolutely priceless. The follow car hits a couple buttons on a computer and the engine shuts off, the windows roll up, the doors lock them inside. then they turn on the radio with that "bad boys" song from cops. f-in priceless.
5/01/2006 01:07:49 AM
-----------
Can't do that here. That's ENTRAPMENT!
TO 5/01/2006 04:41:39 PM
Again, a little knowledge is [still] dangerous.
It's NOT entrapment when you merely 'afford an opportunity' for a crime to be committed.
It IS entrapment when you coerce or encourage one to commit a crime [ie: enter/steal the set-up vehicle]
Academy 101.........SORRY
5/01/2006 10:57:26 PM
You are absolutely right. This job is filled with legal experts who constantly use their knowledge to do absolutely nothing 8 hours a day.
You are absolutely right. This job is filled with legal experts who constantly use their knowledge to do absolutely nothing 8 hours a day.
5/02/2006 01:23:20 AM
You know Tom Buehler from 009???
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