Monday, January 19, 2009

Shades of J. Edgar

Now this is some funny writing:
  • "A Chicago Carol..."

    Attention...J-fed, its the ghost of J-edgar. In life, I was the first director of our beloved FBI. Yes, I'm over here in the hot pink satin number.

    I am here with a warning.

    You were brought up as a good FBI special agent, filled with promise. But you have chosen a path which leads to doom.

    Feds don't know jack shit about municipal law enforcement. Its just not what they do. Therefore, YOU don't know shit about municipal law enforcement. Really. Nada. You have gone astray, and are in way over your head...these locals actually lay hands on people. Or they would, if you stopped screwing with them.

    I saw your TV interview online . Yes, in the afterlife we have some kick ass internet access.

    My son, the failed "community policing" fad has gasped its last breath. Work with community groups and people will stop shooting each other? [moan] Don't throw cops at the problem, throw money to the Rev's? (loud moan) The locals have tried it. It just got the Rev's richer, bolder and more demanding.

    I thought when you started gutting CAPS you figured it out. I guess not.

    And where do you get off with wearing that uniform? When did the FBI teach you to wear a uniform? The CPD guys (most of them) earned every stitch of that uniform, and they don't think a trip to Kale's gives you the right to wear one. You'd have more credibility in a black off the shoulder dress and pearls. At least in my eyes.

    And your kowtowing to a local politician? Oh, Daley is a pro, but we are the FBI. He should be kissing your rear, not the other way around. Jeeze, boy. He's going to throw you to the wolves as soon as he can.

    And not even our FBI stats people can crunch the Chicago numbers to make them look good. And whats this crap you are saying: Learning curve year??? Did we teach you line?

    People are dying at a faster pace. But its OK...you're almost done learning?? What were you thinking?

    "This year we'll get results?" THAT line will haunt you in about 50 weeks. And the press haunts better than I do. Unless you are Barry Obama.

    I won't waste your time sending three ghosts or any of that fancy shit.

    Reform your life and career! There's a SAC job in Brokeback Mountain Wyoming that has your name on it. You'll be happier and more successful in the long run running down interstate trafficking in rebranded cattle....

    Reform...reform... refor....

    (Fades out)
We'd love to be able to write comedy like that.

Labels:

29 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OTT: nice job on the search warrant today boys. 5001 n nagle. shitbag was holding some of the work there. again Job well done.

1/19/2009 12:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He will be as sucesssful as the Fire Comissioner Blair in the early 80s. Came in from California and had no respect for the CFD. He was a failed experiment and JFED will be the same. It will take years to repair the department. Really there is only one person to blame for the experiment DA MAYO. JFED is just taking the money and laughing all the way! A moron YES a dummy NO!

1/19/2009 12:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious....

1/19/2009 12:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's great...What are the odds that tomorrow he'll be gone to some wonderful homeland security job? Just wishing...

1/19/2009 12:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

18 Months and counting without a contract! If I am not mistaken, the precious Olympic Committee visits here in April as part of their final tour of Chicago before they reach a decision. Why don't the FOP and PPBA get togehter and organize informational picketing. Hit Daley where it hurts (his precious Olymmpics). We dropped the ball prior to the Dumocratic convention in the 90's, after the FOP said they would not negotiate until after the elections, lets not do it again. The Unions should advertise the informational picketing intention prior to the Olympic Committe visit and see what happens. If the City continues to play games, then we should exercise our right to peacefully protest!! Lets get together for a change!

I am also quite sure the Fire Union may jump in board.

We deserve a contract!!!!

1/19/2009 12:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about this. J-Fed is the Super. and spokes person for the Chicago Police Department. Right. So anything he says, either in person or in the media is for the good of the department. If he lies, that's a rule 14 violation.

1/19/2009 01:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved it!

1/19/2009 01:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

J-Fed shops at Victoria's Secret--for himself.

1/19/2009 03:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Ghost of J. Edgar says---

Don't worry Jody, I forgot to add that you have a cute little hang-down.

1/19/2009 08:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never got the logic of putting an FBI guy in charge of CPD.

CPD are pros. They do the down and dirty work of policing, every day.

FBI are tyros. They're all about PR and politics.

When Daley appointed him, I figured he saw the PR trouble (SOS, etc.) coming down the pike, and decided he needed someone like J-Fed to restore the Department's image.

I guess he forgot that he also needed someone to run a large, urban law enforcement agency competently.

1/19/2009 08:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I quit working the day they locked up Jon Burge.

I am fearful that I would be named in a Flint Taylor BS lawsuit and if I did not testify in the deposition they he wanted he would go to the FEDS and demand that I be indicted for perjury.

No work means no lawsuits and I still get paod.

1/19/2009 09:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY! I WRITE SOME FUNNY STUFF TOO!

1/19/2009 10:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

J-FED YOU DISRESPECT OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO GAVE THEIR LIFE WEARING OUR UNIFORM. YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THAT RIGHT. I WAS IN THE U.S. ARMY AND NEVER WOULD WEAR ANY OTHER BRANCH OF THE SERVICES UNIFORM.

1/19/2009 10:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill Kushner is chief of Berwyn PD and he wears their uniform. He was never a Berwyn copper, so what gives him the right? A: he's their chief and a certified cop in Illinois.

Same thing gives J-Fed the right, he's the chief here and got himself certified as a cop in Illinois through the lateral program. Get over it people, he's in charge. One day he won't be, but the department will still be here.

1/19/2009 12:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The way the press and "peoples talks" about the chosen one.....'he's the greatest thing, walk on water, settle world crisis and he ain't done nuttin yet.......
It's like they"re setting up a showdown between BHO and...SEISER!!

1/19/2009 01:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife and I spent the Christmas holidays visiting her family in the Main Line suburbs west of Philly.

We then explored Pennsylvania Dutch Amish country around Lancaster and on to Gettysburg, the site of Lincoln's famous speech.

There is a supermarket chain owned by J-Fed's multimillionaire family in the area.

J-Fed doesn't need the $$$. What motivates this jerk? Why doesn't he leave us alone and go back to where he came from?

He's a cancer to the whole dept. and will not stand up to Shortshanks.

1/19/2009 02:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

18 Months and counting without a contract! If I am not mistaken, the precious Olympic Committee visits here in April as part of their final tour of Chicago before they reach a decision. Why don't the FOP and PPBA get togehter and organize informational picketing. Hit Daley where it hurts (his precious Olymmpics). We dropped the ball prior to the Dumocratic convention in the 90's, after the FOP said they would not negotiate until after the elections, lets not do it again. The Unions should advertise the informational picketing intention prior to the Olympic Committe visit and see what happens. If the City continues to play games, then we should exercise our right to peacefully protest!! Lets get together for a change!

I am also quite sure the Fire Union may jump in board.

We deserve a contract!!!!





sounds good I'm in... can FOP rent the bus

1/19/2009 03:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT:

Hey SCC, seen this weeks streaming video on "Reasonableness" yet???

AWWW...Come on guys, we got your back, will you please do some police work??? We all made mistakes too.....

J-Fed,Dugan,Jackson & Peterson all in video, but notably missing was the bartender.

1/19/2009 05:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was willing to give Jody a chance, but the comments and postings are extraordinarily negative towards Weis lately. I thgink 6the worm has turned, contract, shitty conditions, bad bosses have caught up with him.

I remember just before he cameon, people were doing uniform inspections and making people step off with their left foot and march at roll call, some bosses even released General Orders with his name signed on it. Real stupid shit.

1/19/2009 06:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Clyde Tolson said...

J. Edgar was a minx in the sack. He was so sexy in his sheer black negligee and the matching lace garter belt. Magnificant man boobs. Jody could never fill his stiletto heels.

He made me feel like a stallion.

1/19/2009 06:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Bill Kushner is chief of Berwyn PD and he wears their uniform. He was never a Berwyn copper, so what gives him the right? A: he's their chief and a certified cop in Illinois.

Same thing gives J-Fed the right, he's the chief here and got himself certified as a cop in Illinois through the lateral program. Get over it people, he's in charge. One day he won't be, but the department will still be here.

1/19/2009 12:34:00 PM

............

You forgot to mention that Kushner is a real cop and backs up his people. Weis is not a cop nor does he back us up.

Carry on.

1/19/2009 07:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Bill Kushner is chief of Berwyn PD and he wears their uniform. He was never a Berwyn copper, so what gives him the right? A: he's their chief and a certified cop in Illinois.

Same thing gives J-Fed the right, he's the chief here and got himself certified as a cop in Illinois through the lateral program. Get over it people, he's in charge. One day he won't be, but the department will still be here.

1/19/2009 12:34:00 PM


Bill Kushner was the real police on CPD for years. He is sworn in Illinois, certified police officer, retired from CPD as a Lt. he is a great guy and the real police. Jody can make no such claim.

Kushner went through all the required training and certification necessary for law enforcement officers in the State of Illinois. Jody Weis did not.

1/19/2009 08:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Same thing gives J-Fed the right, he's the chief here and got himself certified as a cop in Illinois through the lateral program. Get over it people, he's in charge. One day he won't be, but the department will still be here.

1/19/2009 12:34:00 PM"
SIGNED PETE BRUST I THINK I LOOK KINDA SEXY IN MY UNIFORM SWEATER WIT DA STURS ON IT

1/19/2009 10:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SCC...Any info on this??
Was he armed? All P/O's safe?

Charges lodged against man shot by cop
January 18, 2009 7:15 PM | 2 Comments
Charges have been filed against a 24-year-old man shot by a Chicago police officer on the West Side, officials said.

Juan Carmona was shot Friday morning in a home on the 900 block of West 18th Street, according to the Independent Police Review Authority.
The shooting occurred at 11 a.m., authority spokesman Mark Payne said. Police declined to comment on the shooting.

A police officer attended bond court for Carmona and told the court he was still in the hospital recovering from gunshot wounds to his abdomen.

Carmona has been charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance; two counts of aggravated assault to a police officer; two counts of unlawful use of a weapon; three counts of possession of cannabis; two counts of having a firearm without a FOID card; and two counts of having unregistered firearms.

1/19/2009 10:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give up the ghost, Mr. Weis. You have no support from the troops. You're despised as a liar and Daley's puppet.

A year ago, some of us actually believed that as an outsider, you could bring desperately needed reforms to the most corruptly managed major police dept. in the nation.

You assured us that you would make the rigged promotion process fair and transparent. You have failed miserably.

If you have any integrity, honor, pride and self-esteem, leave now. If necessary, cite "personal reasons".

1/19/2009 10:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

...There is a supermarket chain owned by J-Fed's multimillionaire family in the area.

J-Fed doesn't need the $$$. What motivates this jerk? Why doesn't he leave us alone and go back to where he came from?

1/19/2009 02:29:00 PM

Your assumption here is that his multimillionaire family wants him back. They may be thanking their lucky stars that he is now in Chicago!!!

1/20/2009 02:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Get over it people, he's in charge. One day he won't be, but the department will still be here.

1/19/2009 12:34:00 PM"

The Department may still be here, but what condition will it be in?
The drain of experienced veteran Police Officers to retirement has been unprecedented, and J-Feds stupid think tank can't hope to replace that resource. My fear is that this Department is irreversibly and forever changed. I only hope that it will at least become functional again.

1/20/2009 02:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Snooper said...

Weis Markets is a publically traded company, WMK, closely controlled by the Weis family. Jody Weis is not listed as having any controlling interest in this company whatsoever. There are several "Trusts" that have an interest in the company over 5%, but at this time I cannot discern whether Jody is involved in them.

Just because he was born with a good shot at being successful, don't hold that against him. He apparently rose to the level of his incompentence. That we can hold against him.

I see the future...head of security for Weis Markets, (think of Mall Cop and laugh) and then CEO when his ticket kicks the bucket.
Daddy (uncle?)was a Guiliani supporter, Hummmm,
Guliani does good in the past elections, then Jody gets the bump in Homeland Security, he has the background, Was Daddy getting a little "Pay to Play action",

Haven't found any family ties to Illinois Pols,,,yet,,,

But seriously, I'm a wealthy kid in the 70's, I then go to a party school, Tampa, then rather than skate or live off the fat, i join the Army, then I go to the FBI, cause that's what rich college kids do for excitement,,,but why do I go to Bomb Disposal,,,if I have the money I skate, that's all I;m saying, sorry, something ain't right with this whole picture.

1/21/2009 12:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She has a damn good reason for not being in that lame assed video,experimenting on a drink named in honor of Jody.So lay off will ya!!!!!

1/23/2009 07:44:00 PM  

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