Saturday, August 22, 2009

Fun + Lawyers = No Fun

  • A Chicago woman is suing Brookfield Zoo, claiming -- among other things -- that bottle-nosed dolphins there deliberately splashed water on her during a visit to the zoo in August 2008.

    In a suit filed this week in the Circuit Court of Cook County, Allecyn Edwards, claims she slipped and injured herself, blaming zoo keepers who “recklessly and willfully trained and encouraged the dolphins to throw water at the spectators in the stands, making the floor wet and slippery.”

    Edwards is seeking in excess of $50,000 for her injuries. Edwards did not return calls, and when her husband answered the door to the couple’s home Wednesday, he told a reporter to call his wife’s lawyer. The attorney, Edward G. Proctor Jr., did not return repeated calls to his Chicago office Wednesday.

We've been to Brookfield Zoo. We've been to the dolphin exhibit. They warn everyone in the first few rows that if they sit there, they are going to get splashed. There are even signs there. Then there's this giant tank full of water. It slops and sloshes over the edges as something like 5 or 8 dolphins swim in circles before showtime. It looks like a place you ought to get wet and have fun. We mean, what did she think was going to happen at a dolphin exhibit?

But trust an idiot and a bottom feeding lawyer to try to take the fun out of a trip to the zoo.

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43 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think lawyers who participate in frivilous lawsuits should be disbarred.

8/22/2009 12:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please have this one go in front of a jury....jurors with kids.

8/22/2009 12:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A decade ago, Ms. Edwards also filed a lawsuit in Cook Co. Circuit Cour against Brookfield Zoo in which she alleged that she had been sodomized by a romantic kangaroo.

Litigation was dismissed when witnesses came forward to testify that she had seduced the 'roo.

8/22/2009 12:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, if she wins this case then dolphin shows throughout the country are going to be a lot less fun. How much longer can this country last?

8/22/2009 01:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this the guy from the law firm of Dolphin, Dolphin & Vrdolyak?

Some lawyers have no pride!

So, how the hell is this guy going to get a deeposition from Mr. Flipper?

8/22/2009 01:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please...Do not let this woman receive one red cent for this....Please.

8/22/2009 01:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are they going to call the dolphin to testify? If so I'm sure he'll be the most intelligent being in front of the bench. When he's questioned by the plaintiff's attorney will they need a large water tank for the dolphin and the shark?

8/22/2009 02:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One's a bottom feeding scum dweller and the other's a fish.

8/22/2009 02:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The lawyer who took this case should be held in contempt of court for waisting the judge's time.

8/22/2009 02:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this bitch the reason why my kid has been dissapointed all summer!?!?! The show has been closed every time we have been there! She loves the dolphins! Damnit!

8/22/2009 03:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Your honor, I now call my star witness, Flipper, to the stand"

8/22/2009 03:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I got an idea, Rock...Take her to da zoo; I hear retards like da zoo."

8/22/2009 06:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck this bitch, I hope she slips and falls into a tank full of piranhas......and the scumbag "officer of the court", and a couple of "judges" too!

8/22/2009 07:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is not a frivilous lawsuit, it's a calculated move by groups like ALF and PETA, both on the FBI lists of terrorist groups, to 'liberate' animals. These are the same people, like the HSUS, that poisen hunting dogs in the name of 'freeing them opression.' Us hnnters have seen this type of suit before. Like the activist who sues New Jersey? because she hit a deer with her car. She said it was the states fault that 'manangement' practices (ie hunting) caused the accident.

If you think this is frivilous, look behind the curtian.

8/22/2009 07:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tort reform...before it's too late!

(channeling my inner Bernie Epton)

There is virtually no reason for these bottom feeding lawyers not to lie, cheat and steal. There are no penalties. The jurors aren't aware of the nonsense that goes on.

8/22/2009 07:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Munday & Nathan are big-time ambulance chasers. Nothing new except we Cook County taxpayers will foot the bill since the Zoo is owned by the Forest Preserve District.

8/22/2009 07:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hope she never goes to see the blue man group or an alice cooper concert--- bring a raincoat next time----

8/22/2009 08:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SCC said:

"...We've been to the dolphin exhibit. They warn everyone in the first few rows that if they sit there, they are going to get splashed. There are even signs there."

Lawyers ruin everything for everybody. I guess that's why the zoos will build a primate habitat or lion house but still refuse to exhibit skunks, rats or lawyers. My apologies, in advance, to the skunks and rats out there for lumping you in with society's most undesirable cretins.

Soon, zoo patrons will be forced to sign a 'waiver of water wearing' upon entering the dolphin tank area to try to protect them from future civil suits.

8/22/2009 08:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes I shake my head in wonder at how some of these lawyers come up with these suits.

Like, are they sitting in a bar drinking shots some night when, in a drunken stupor, one says, "I'll bet you can't find a way to sue a dolphin!"

"Oh yeah? I'll bet I can!"

WTF?

8/22/2009 09:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a dolphin?

One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

OK I know. It's a mammal.

8/22/2009 09:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A barber gave a haircut to a PRIEST one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God’s work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A POLICEMAN came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A LAWYER came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

8/22/2009 09:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tooooooooooo many lawyers around with toooooooooooooooo much time on their hands. the public should also know that every gang has at least 1 or more lawyers on their payroll. they run into the station before you finnish the arrest. they have no morals and are money grubbers

8/22/2009 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger snethen's law said...

two words,....easy money. This country is sinking like the titanic!

8/22/2009 12:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this lawsuit smells a ltttle fishy.

8/22/2009 12:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the payments should be made by the dolphins...

8/22/2009 01:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a looser!

8/22/2009 01:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess being an alderman has it's perks...currently there is a man named Wilfredo Gines who has been reported missing after he hasn't been seen for a few days. No problem with making a report about him being missing but the kicker is that he wasn't reported missing by HIS WIFE but by the grandmother of his children (not his mother in law) who is...Alderman JoAnn Thompson.

From what I heard she called the mayor..who directed Weis..who directed Jackson..who directed Byrne..who directed Wysinger..who directed Walsh to put at least eight detectives on the case to look for this man who is only the daddy of this alderman grandchildren. And they made it an immediate action.



Doesn't this guy live outside of the city or is he from 61/rockwell? How can you report him missing from chicago if he doesn't live here or was last seen here? Reports said this guy lived in Chicago Heights and went Indiana for gas.

8/22/2009 02:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"A decade ago, Ms. Edwards also filed a lawsuit in Cook Co. Circuit Cour against Brookfield Zoo in which she alleged that she had been sodomized by a romantic kangaroo.

Litigation was dismissed when witnesses came forward to testify that she had seduced the 'roo.

8/22/2009 12:52:00 AM"


Now dat's sum spicy meet-ta-balls!

8/22/2009 02:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
i hope she never goes to see the blue man group or an alice cooper concert--- bring a raincoat next time----
----------------------------------
Somebody actually sued the blue man group claiming that a camera was inserted in his mouth and damaged his esophogus or something. It was thrown out of court because it was never in his mouth and the footage they showed was file footage of a surgery.

8/22/2009 02:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

-What do your call 100 lawyers trapped in a burning whore house?


FUCKED!!!!


-What do you call a bunch of lawyers swimming in a shark's tank?


Dinner!!!!



What does a lawyer call a murdering thug?

CPS undergrad!!!!

What does a cook county jury call a thug shot during a home invasion?

A victim.


I know they are weak jokes, but true stories.

8/22/2009 02:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After they settle, will the dolphins then be brought up on civil rights violations?

8/22/2009 03:02:00 PM  
Anonymous I am full of it said...

I hope this woman gets a huge settlement, that damn dolphin is a friggin racist, always has been and always will be, I am sure he did this so that this woman would slip and hurt herself

8/22/2009 03:05:00 PM  
Anonymous lil' george said...

I'm suing the city because NOWHERE in my squad car is there a sign posted saying: "WARNING: by entering this car, you may be shot at, killed, punched, racially slandered, emotionally abused, forced to eat shitty food at 5am, forced to run through garbage strewn lots, search someone who hasn't showered in 8 days, looked at a beaten 1 year old, deal with someone who has 6 kids by the age of 22 and no job and 6 baby-daddies who yet pays my salary and deals with exempt bosses who are exempt because they work well on their knees." Think I can find a scum lawyer to take this?

8/22/2009 04:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On that same theme.....

Q: How come sharks don't eat lawyers?


A: Professional Courtesy!


Baarumpbump!!

8/22/2009 05:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do lawyers use for birth control?

Their personality.

8/22/2009 05:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The lawyers jumped the shark on this one.

Oh, God. That was really, really bad.

8/22/2009 11:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm suing the city because NOWHERE in my squad car is there a sign posted saying: "WARNING: by entering this car, you may be shot at, killed, punched, racially slandered, emotionally abused, forced to eat shitty food at 5am, forced to run through garbage strewn lots, search someone who hasn't showered in 8 days, looked at a beaten 1 year old, deal with someone who has 6 kids by the age of 22 and no job and 6 baby-daddies who yet pays my salary and deals with exempt bosses who are exempt because they work well on their knees." Think I can find a scum lawyer to take this?

8/22/2009 04:48:00 PM
-----------------------------------
I'm thinking we have a great class-action lawsuit here. For all nine thousand of us.

8/22/2009 11:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

S this why the show has been closed down all summer?

8/23/2009 04:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

chicagotribune.com
Hammond police find body in SUV

By Kim Janssen

Tribune reporter

August 23, 2009
Click here to find out more!

Hammond police believe they found the body of a missing South Side man who is the father of a Chicago alderman's grandchildren, Chicago police said Saturday.

8/23/2009 08:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish she would have fallen in the shark tank, or the piranha exhibit and dropped dead!
This city gets worse by the minute, with all the bums, crooked lawyers, and special interest groups.

8/23/2009 12:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ted Proctor! Down at the Corp. Counsel's office, we used to call him "The Proctologist."

He's pleasant, handsome, well polished, and dumb as a stone.

No wonder he took that stupid a case. He's probably arguing to Brookfield's lawyer right now that they should give him millions because "the story's been all over the news."

8/24/2009 10:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe Fitzgerald could go after the dolphin. He can't seem to get the big fish in Chicago, maybe a dolphin would be more his style.

And yeah, I know a dolphin is a mammel, not a fish.

8/24/2009 11:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From what I know, the dolphin show has been closed for two reasons. The first is the death of Kaylee back in March/April and the stresses on the family group. The second is they are closing 7 Seas this fall for renovations and are working on crate training the dolphins for travel to other institutions for the duration of the work.

8/24/2009 09:33:00 PM  

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