Nice to be Connected

Some people have all the luck, just happening to get a judge with such clear vision:

• Ald. Rey Colon was acquitted Monday of drunken driving, a development sure to make his re-election effort easier in the weeks ahead.
  
  Cook County Circuit Court Judge James Pieczonka made the not-guilty ruling at the conclusion of a short bench trial, during which a video recording of Colon's July 25 arrest was played.
  
  Although Colon can be seen on the video putting his arms out to the side to keep his balance while trying to stand on one foot during field sobriety tests, Pieczonka noted that Colon was able to walk in a straight line and stand "quite rigid and straight" during the rest of the tests.
  
  The judge also determined Colon's booking mug shot did not prove he was intoxicated. "His eyes appear to be a little bloodshot, not completely bloodshot — I've seen a lot worse," Pieczonka said.

So....just a "little" impaired is ok? Not only did Colon beat the DUI, he beat the probable cause ticket as well:

• Colon was arrested shortly before 1 a.m. on the westbound Homan Avenue exit off the Eisenhower Expressway. Illinois State Police Trooper Eric David testified that he made the stop after seeing the alderman's Honda Element twice drift slightly onto the shoulder from the right lane.
  
  But Colon also was found not guilty of improper lane use because the judge determined he should have been instead cited for driving on the shoulder.
  
  Colon was found guilty of driving on an expired license, for which he was fined $200. He said his birthday was earlier in July, and he had forgotten to renew it. He also was fined $50 and sentenced to supervision for not signaling his exit from the highway.
  
  David testified at trial that Colon's lights were not on, and he smelled alcohol on Colon's breath. Colon's speech was slurred, and his eyes were bloodshot and glassy, David said. But the judge said he could not detect slurred speech on the video.

The judge also noted that he couldn't smell any alcohol on the video either. And never mind that history of DUI and habitual compliance violations regarding insurance and valid licenses - it means nothing at all.

We certainly hope that all Illinois troopers are retrained to properly recognize aldercreatures driving under the influence, as they obviously have no experience in applying such a thing. That way, they won't inconvenience the powerful as they tool along the expressway like an unguided missile where your friends and families might be traveling.