Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Duck and Cover Time!

We recall, back in the 80's, Chicago declared it was a "nuclear free zone," and that this righteous attitude would provide a magic shield to save us from Russian nukes in the event that the "warmonger" Reagan  made the Russians angry.

It was such a successfully meaningless gesture that future City Councils made a habit of passing all sorts of meaningless gestures in future years - plastic bag ban/tax, foie gras ban, trans-fat ban, gun ban -  instead of actually, you know, governing responsibly.

So here's a link to the City of Chicago Nuclear Threat page, telling you how to prepare and act in the event of a North Korean nuke detonating over City Hall or the Cook County Building.

Amusingly, the list doesn't include arming yourself for the inevitable appearance of zombies or other ne'er-do-wells. Nor does it advise where to dispose of the stacks of dead bodies that any nuclear attack would produce. No word about what food to have on hand, water, cash, etc.

It does advise you to listen to TV and radio stations, all of which (we guess) will be up and running due to the brilliant planning/foresight of the ruling class.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you ever read the General order on nuclear detonation? After you dust yourself off, you are to head to the nearest operational police station in uniform and report for duty. 12 hour shifts with your off time being spent housed in the station as a backup team. Lol. Never mind your family, we need you in the station!

8/15/2017 12:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Idiots. I'm sure all citizens have their "go bag" ready. No explaination as to what that is which may possibly help those that dont have any idea.

8/15/2017 12:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This craziness has gone too far. What makes you think
you are so important, and the Koreans are so precise
that the bombs would go off over government buildings?
Sounds like a set up to feed benefits to the ruling class.
Screw the masses but do what you can to protect
It just ain't gonna happen. Another excuse to milk Chicago
out of money. Funny, every crisis is solved by money, at
least for the politicians.

8/15/2017 12:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Take your Go Bag with you."

Is this referring to a tote bag or taxable plastic bag

8/15/2017 12:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The whole REAL point the government pushing a family having a fallout shelter in the 1950s and 1960s was so the family could die of radiation poisoning and already be buried....in the shelter....no bodies littering the streets or houses (if any left).

8/15/2017 12:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Grid down for 2 weeks and 50% of the population is starving, desperate and out of ammo. They would sell the souls of their children for food. Grid down for 2 months and 70% of the population is dead,perhaps 95 % if COG isn't keeping the nuclear power plants running. Duck and cover indeed.

8/15/2017 12:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smoke up, and raid your child's backpack of food from the school lunch program.

8/15/2017 01:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it happened you better hope the bomb or missile hits you right on your head when it drops. That would be the most painless way to go rather than melting to death or being around with severe burns and pain for which no medical attention would be available. If fact nothing would be available. Also if told to evacuate, turn off the air conditoning and the furnace? Don't worry the blast will take care of that for you. Who writes this crap? Was it the same person that wrote that general order we had years ago that stated in the event of a nuclear explosion that you were to report in uniform to certain designated areas (like parks). And what about Rahmn, did he have one of those fortified bomb shelters built in his basement. You can bet the wedding dress is sitting in there. And will the detail guys get to go in there with him or will he make them stay outside. They better find out!

8/15/2017 01:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A couple of things to remember after the boom,

That dusty, sandy stuff falling out of the sky is not good.
If the lights go out in Chicago, and your cell phone and car don't work, you are fu____!

8/15/2017 01:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe if Toni Taxwinkle puts a high import tax on any incoming North Korean missile it may dissuade Kim Jong Un from considering Crook County as a target.

8/15/2017 01:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will that multi-million dollar invention Shot spotter alert us before the missile touches down and who will the twerp murder mayor invite to his hidden bunker for wine and cheese...

8/15/2017 05:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(OT) yet again ghetto stupidity and another crash:

Car crashes near Kenwood after fleeing police

Elyssa Cherney
Three men inside a vehicle led police officers on a nearly 6-mile chase before crashing on Lake Shore Drive near the Kenwood neighborhood on Monday night, authorities said.

Officers were responding to a call of shots fired in the 7500 block of South Lafayette Avenue in the West Chatham neighborhood on the South Side just before 10 p.m. when the vehicle took off on them, police said.

Officers pursued the fleeing vehicle until it crashed into another vehicle in the 4700 block of South Lake Shore Drive near Kenwood.

Three male occupants were arrested and a weapon was found one scene, police said.

When will coppers learn just not worth it unless shooting at us! Now more paperwork pending lawsuits remember young and skulls full of mush college coppers we are not indemnified from civil suits, ask around many coppers lost thousands from their personal bank accounts. There goes money for kids,family future!

8/15/2017 06:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT - so Johnson wants to bring back captains as watch commanders. Is he slow of thinking these days because of his kidneys? That's expensive and will be a drain on the pension! And why? Because activity is down? Because the lieutenants don't get along? Then only have 1 Lt. on the watch!

You can bet his bimbo will be a new captain.

8/15/2017 06:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like I do everything I have a master plan to survive, assuming that is it isn't an H-bomb in which case I'm fucked. A 20 kt bomb from the little midget going off downtown should leave my 'hood OK except for the fall out, assuming its a bad wind.

The thing is you dont want to go outside for a week until the fall out disperses and settles. So I have MRE's and water for a week , or , MRE's water and a dog for a week and 1/2, or, MRE's water a dog and a wife to survive for 3 weeks. Other things you future preppies need, baby wipes, flash lights and battery's, masking tape, first aid kit, self defense dog "you can always eat him if you get desperate", and a picture of Rahm and Obama you can pray to at night.

How in hell did it come to this when some little half baked midget, a Pal of Dennis Rodman, who runs a 4'th world slave country, 1/2 of which craps in an out house, can threaten America with nukes? WTF? That fucking Obama acted like he couldn't find the place on the map.

8/15/2017 07:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's a go bag?

8/15/2017 07:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The south side, west side and Gary looked like the Demo-Korea-cats did the damage years ago.

My "go" bag has Pabst, Redd's Apple and Bud Light. Hope the refrigerator works.

Where's the Civil Defense shelter when you need it.

"YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK" as they used to say.

8/15/2017 07:24:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. SouthSide said...

I'll be at Beatrice's. Let me know what happens.

8/15/2017 07:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They forgot to tell you to put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

8/15/2017 07:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Demorats are worried about the north Koreans? Shit , they need to worry about the Russians. All their "the Russians hacked the election" total bullshit when they know damn well it was a leak not a hack (an NSA leaker proved the data transfer rates were too fast to have gone out over the internet,had to be a data storage device) and their sanctions bullshit on the Russians, not to mention the Obama people's subverting the election in Ukraine in order to overthrow a legally elected president (sound familiar?)because he wanted good relations with Russia. And now, they are trying the same tactics on our Legally elected President. If any nukes come our way,you know who to thank. Also, the guy who organized the "unite the right" rally in Va. was a former Obama supporter. The demorat dirty tricks department has been working overtime. Any body seen Creamer lately?

8/15/2017 08:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Com Ed is one of the largest nuclear power electric generating utilities in the country.
Are you ready to turn off the juice and go back to living in the Stone Age?

8/15/2017 08:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should check out the CDC's page on zombie apacolypse.


They actually do suggest how to prepare for and live through just such an occasion.

8/15/2017 09:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But Chicago can't be hit with a nuclear tipped ICBM from North Korea. We are a NUCLEAR FREE ZONE.

We are all save because of that ordinance.

8/15/2017 09:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Just Say'n... said...

If North Korea does ever launch a Nuke our way, I can only hope it hits city hall/cook county council HQ as ground Zero...during a vote to raise taxes again.

8/15/2017 09:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

North Korea wouldn't Bomb Chicago

You don't bomb your fellow communists

Professional courtesy

8/15/2017 10:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Did you ever read the General order on nuclear detonation? After you dust yourself off, you are to head to the nearest operational police station in uniform and report for duty. 12 hour shifts with your off time being spent housed in the station as a backup team. Lol. Never mind your family, we need you in the station!

I'm packed and ready to go, although I think the best thing to do when the nuclear bombs start dropping in chicago is to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye

8/15/2017 11:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

try reading the general order on a attack. I laugh at all the BS that was in it.

8/15/2017 11:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tune in to your local stations for news and information. Dumbasses have no idea how to govern or what happens to electronics during a nuclear blast. Have they never heard of an EMP? Of course they have but got to tell people something other than "Put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye!"


8/15/2017 12:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Panic amongst the democrats because they're running low on pandemonium.
No more talk of the Russians and Islamophobia so the jobless bike riding snowflakes rally against the bomb again.
Has anyone ever see Lil KimJung and Hillary in the same room or even at the same time? She may be behind the curtain.
All squawk - No action.
As an unlikely ultimate global warming event seems a moment away, yodeling political idiots are depending on their equally idiotic base to cause another unsubstantiated social uproar.

The chances of a missile landing or detonated over downtown Chicago (FYI-City Hall 41.8839° N / 87.6319° W) are zero, even if Jung were to release all 24 of his unreliable warheads at the same time. Hardly a match of us and all that toxic fallout floating over China afterwards...no Democrat will bring that up.
All missiles no matter of size are likely to be detected and easily destroyed before traveling over Hawaii or into California.
But annihilation of either one or both would be fine with me.
Losing one liberal state will likely put Puerto Rico and Guam into statehood and still keep Our Flag intact.
Even Lil Louie Jong UnGutterrez would agree.

Chicago come lately, always trying to trendset and upstage already looney California and NYC.
Even still, as a doomsday prepped I have my green Korean War Era gas mask ready and a 2nd grade desk to hide under...just waiting for the sirens.

8/15/2017 01:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That website is pathetic . . .

Watch TV? Really?

First off, the EMP from the detonation will fry almost every electronic device within a few hundred square miles. The EMP occurs within the first few milliseconds of the explosion.

Second, the blast wave will easily destroy electrical substations, as well as cellular phone and radio towers.

Third, the thermal pulse will start tens of thousands of seperate fires that will almost certainly converge into a mass fire. With lots of rubble and disabled vehicles blocking the roads, broken gas lines and broken water mains, there is no possibility of an effective fire fighting response - even if there were any firefighters or engines left to respond. The EMP almost certainly disabled every vehicle made since 1975 - I'm sure CFD has newer rigs than that!

All this saber rattling lately has been making me nervous, so I've done some research. Excel spreadsheet is in the works, where all you have to do is enter the weapon yield in kilotons, and the worksheet will display distance values for 1st, 2nd or 3rd degree burns from the thermal pulse, as well as the overpressure contours from the blast wave. The formulae for calculating the various effects can be found here:


In terms of blast overpressure, here are some rules of thumb. These apply for calculating casualties due to blast ALONE, and do NOT account for burn victims from the thermal pulse or from secondary fires.

1 psi - Window glass shatters, some light injuries from fragments occur. Wind speed about 40 mph, equivalent to a tropical storm.

3 psi - Most residential structures collapse. Serious injuries are common, some fatalities may occur. Winds over 100 mph, equal to a Category 2 hurricane.

5 psi - Most buildings collapse. Injuries are universal, fatalities are widespread. Wind speeds of 163 mph. A category 5 hurricane is 155 mph or higher.

10 psi - Reinforced concrete buildings are severely damaged or demolished. Most people
are killed. Maximum winds of 294 mph, equivalent to an EF 5 tornado.

20 psi - Heavily built concrete buildings are severely damaged or demolished. Fatalities approach 100%. Wind speeds of 502 mph. (Insert joke about Rahm's farts here.)

8/15/2017 01:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! Thanks for the laugh! Yeah, this is as good as the general order on police functions in the event of a nuclear detonation over the city. I can actually picture some goof boss fumbling over a dead radio asking for an event number for an outside roll call standing in the middle of ashes, barbecued human remains, and the walking dead.

8/15/2017 01:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure all citizens have their "go bag" ready.
just where are they going to "go" to?

8/15/2017 01:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe it'll land in englewood?

8/15/2017 01:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just hope they don't try and come up with a defense plan because they will try and find another way to tax a working person

8/15/2017 02:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who can forget Bert the Turtle?

8/15/2017 02:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a group supposedly from the city health department that has been making the rounds lately at the TLO meetings and hanging around the CPIC that claim to do WMD research and response and seem really willing to help all of us on the job. I don't know if they are a federal task force or what their story is, but the rumor is that they know their stuff and at least aren't foaming at the mouth to blame the coppers for the overall lack of concern from the 5th flr/OEMC and the crazed residents who are scared by the little man in Korea who claims to have invented the hamburger. Anyone else know anything about these folks? are they legit?

8/15/2017 02:57:00 PM  
Blogger stash the polski guy said...

plenty of absolute krusty in storage. the coming nuclear winter will keep things nicely chilled. no need for ice.

8/15/2017 03:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(OT) Then we have this headline from the hypocrites who run Walmart:

Next headline:

So that is very simple President trump is creating how many good jobs? "lil kim" from north Korea backed down afraid because President Trump unlike "scary weak barry" is "Making America strong again!"The snowflakes are doing everything they can to ruin the Presidency of Trump! Hope that Trump lets the lerash on Jeff Sessions free so he can finally come to this carnage corrupt filled city-state-county and start the arrests on the elected who refuse to abide by federal immigration laws,that is just 1 of the many they boldly violate! As the blood flws rahm and crew drink the wine and shove that cheese into their mouths as they laugh and laugh about all the money they take!

8/15/2017 04:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Democrats afraid of a nuclear North Korea? As president was it not Bill Clinton who gave them 4 billion dollars,2 nuclear plants and free oil and said this will be good for America and North Korea. And now Iran with billions in cash from obumer can just go buy wmds from them. I'm sure that will be good for America also

8/15/2017 10:21:00 PM  

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