Gallows Issue #2
For your reading pleasure (click for larger version):
Escamerit is in for a long summer. Maybe if LightGroot demoted a few of the more egregious assholes, she could rally some support from the rank-and-file.
Labels: silly people
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
78 Comments:
Ouch.
Poor Tony.
Good Luck to the executioners of the Gallows.
I hope they can maintain their anonymity and that the FOP will support them if they are outed.
Hey Tony... how does it feel when officers walk right past you without acknowledging you in any way? Walking right past you like your not even there. The veterans know how much it bothers you that’s why we do it. No more lunches after 20:00 hrs you say Tony? Well Some of us are going to take our lunch everyday after that and your not gonna do shit about it because your a coward. And don’t waste your time sending the Sgts to straighten us out, with the exception of one they’re all on our side.
025 3rd Watch ☠️
“Slap nuts”....I laughed out loud.
That was a very dedicated issue.
Does Escamerit have his own checkoff sheet that he has to end his tour with?
Supernintendo Ed asks, "Well Tony, how many officers, Sgts and Lts did you get to leave the district this period? Any more complaints from the ACLU? How about da Inspector General? Any more investigations by them? Which Alder-Creatures were you able to pleasure into spontaneous ecstasy so that they keep telling me what a great job you are doing? I hope you were able to do it to all of them in one day."
I love this! This guy must be a total clown to be the star in his own article. How embarrassing for the department. And they made him merit all the way up? Wow
The Commander of 025 should star in his own version of the Pac-Man video game. Seriously, they could revamp it. Escamerit can run around the maze eating up all the pellets and that would be similar to activity or numbers before a Compstat meeting. The four ghosts trying to beat him down could each be represented by the ACLU, IAD, the IG, and Divorce Court. The four power balls he'd consume to eat his enemies would be for the Merit promotions he'd undeservedly gotten in his career. Oh, and the little cherries can represent one of his sub-par sexual conquests. Just retitle it to Escamerit's Merit Maze and you'll have a winner.
As much as I dislike Tony and believe he should be ridiculed at every opportunity, this version of The Gallows... well... it sucks.
Not funny, poorly written and unsuccessfully attempts to mimic the appeal of the original. This method of broadcasting displeasure with the Bossholes was fresh 30 years ago before the advent of electronic media/blogs. It’s barely a step above scribbling libelous rants on the shitter stall walls.
All said, what it will accomplish is getting Escamerit fired-up. Which is a good thing, as it’s comical seeing him get all flustered when he’s aggravated.
Wow! Better hope he never finds out who is the clever publisher. Too funny. Also to sad that that POS is in the position he is in. Not even sure he would be qualified to clean the station.
ok, where's the funny stuff?
Check out how much tome he spends with one particular officer at Caps office. Also check out clothing for suspect stains.
FUck! I get an alert @6:11 this morning that Biden is
running for Prez. He announced via Video. WTF?
Shy Joe, you fucking sure? SAck of working-class
pandering shit. This asshole got a law degree and
went straight into politics. His ass has a lot of
mileage on it. Those of us who actually worked for
a living world be fucking worn out at his age.
Joe, you never were middle class, so stop lying
to us.
Joe Biden needs to be on your cover.
Tax me to fucking death! A call to Illinois poison control
will result in a charge (greedy bastards). Call one in PA
or another state. It's free. Who the fuck gets the kickback
from the IPC?
That version really sucks. Get bAck to writing!
$69. Bubble head bucks... I spit out my coffee. lol
Can't touch the old Gallows. This is terrible writing, period. The old Gallows had stories and was funny. This Gallows is plain stupid.
Seeing the resurrection of "The Gallows" does my heart good. It was the only way we were able to maintain our sanity during the dog days of Joe Curtin. Keep up the good work my brothers!
This was a bad attempt at sarcastic parody. It didn’t really come off as funny, just Whiny. And whoever signed it I/F is an imposter. There’s only one member of the original fish still on the job and he’s in 014 on days.
art In Your General Direction said...
As much as I dislike Tony and believe he should be ridiculed at every opportunity, this version of The Gallows... well... it sucks.
Not funny, poorly written and unsuccessfully attempts to mimic the appeal of the original. This method of broadcasting displeasure with the Bossholes was fresh 30 years ago before the advent of electronic media/blogs. It’s barely a step above scribbling libelous rants on the shitter stall walls.
All said, what it will accomplish is getting Escamerit fired-up. Which is a good thing, as it’s comical seeing him get all flustered when he’s aggravated.
4/25/2019 03:28:00 AM
Your opinion on comedic humor would carry more weight if you didn't have such a lame, unfunny monicker that seems more appropriate written down in a grade school bathroom stall. Now, Inside Westside Do-Nothing, that was a creative handle that someone used to use on this blog
Even Joe Curtain, was never the subject of ALL the articles of an issue of the Gallows back in the day. As F&#$ed up as he was is it possible that there is even a bigger clown in charge in 025?
The original Gallows was a very lighthearted look at some egregious issues. I hope 2.0 can try a little harder to lighten the mood without being too cynical. Also, I remember signing in at union meetings, and seeing a stack of the Gallows there for distribution. And going to pick up a pool car, and finding issues in the glove box, in the visors, or trunk. Good Times...
Gotta love this blast from the past.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
Lori,
ask for the resignations of ALL city exempt personnel. police, fire, oemc, streets & san
put your own people in charge!!
you will get much better results and you will have your own patronage group
agreed with the comments from 3.28am. The old Gallows took far more than Curtin to task. I enjoyed reading the antics of Jethro, his mother’s and the Sgts.
Missing is the sarcastic wit.
I’ll look forward to V 20.1
'Ouch', that issue of The Gallows is gonna leave a mark.
ps: A casual observer could get the feeling from reading The Gallows that 'Escamerit' isn't exactly loved by the troops. (LOL)
Version 2.0 was already done in the 2000’s this should be version 3.0. Even though it sucks and not original at all.
Not nearly as entertaining as the early Gallows. Just seems like an attack on the DC. Not that he doesn't deserve it but this just, well its going to get better. I hope.
Escamerit represents the embodiment of the worst of top command and District Commanders. The Department is riddled with incompetent and corrupt leadership with Escamerit front and center. He is allowed to continually damage and demoralize his District and provides aide and comfort to other incompetent commanders. All under the watchful eye of Special Ed.
Lightfoot you have lost any chance of reforming Police Leadership before you are sworn in. Deceit, deception and incompetence have been institutionalized by the Daley and Rahm administration. Sadly, it appears that you are the Fool, and by your own hand. Allowing Special Ed to stay on as Superintendent you have "Green Lighted" what Daley and Rahm created. You are now part of the Daley and Rahm Corruption Team. You must be Chicago Proud.
"Counting paper clips"
MK ultra? Wow! No youngsters know about that program. Maybe a reference to operation Phoenix is coming soon.
Love it. The gallows was the highlight of my day way back when. I fart in yr General Direction. LMFAO at BOSSHOLES!!!
It doesn’t meet the standards of the old gallows.
Long live the gallows, I wish I had my originals, but ex-wife #1 destroyed them.
Rumor has it they’re gonna send in cowboy boots Lemmer to boost morale in 025.
The more his idiocy is made public, the better chance the new mayor Will replace him.
Rumor has it he is bucking for Lemmer's title. "dumbest self proclaimed smart person on the sinking ship"
The Sgts on the 2nd watch are pretty pathetic. A couple are okay but for the most part they are sycophants and losers. Even the one school car Sgt is a stroke that GPSs cars from the watch that he has no business doing other then because he is a bootlicker. There is a reason that you need like only four years to make bid on days in 025. It is such an undesirable watch that Escamerit did reverse seniority on management at the beginning of the year so scared millennial seal coppers would be on it and hopefully bring him in the numbers he needs. Let's not forget all the coppers that want to go to units and other districts on management but he refuses to sign their releases because again, the obvious would be pointed out and that is that nobody likes working for this merit moron.
Boring and not funny...……...
Why don’t they have compstat numbers on how many people are bidding out of certain districts? They have them for every other little f’n thing. This would tell you if the bosses are actually providing a decent work environment.
ssc this issues sucks my favorite " if the ears dont fit you must acquit"
another famous quote " joe curtain you should know when something is dead " just like your sex life"
also another favorite sgt wideload
Federal prosecutors have asked for more time to seek an indictment against Ald. Edward Burke in the corruption case that rocked City Hall early this year.
The feds are facing a May 3 deadline to seek an indictment from a grand jury after Burke was charged with attempted extortion in a criminal complaint in early January.
Now they have asked for an additional 35 days to seek that indictment. The new deadline would be June 7 — five months after Burke was first charged.
In making their request, prosecutors said “the government is conducting a diligent and thorough investigation into this case, but certain factors have led to this request for an extension. These factors include the complex nature of this public corruption case, and the fact that the investigation is ongoing.”
They also point out that Burke’s lawyers have raised no objection to the request, meaning it is likely to be granted.
oh the gallows- maybe retired lt blinky flynn will send a copy of the new version to the fbi crime lab in virgina
yes i remember lt flynn very well
Can’t be any worse than 3. Place is a shit hole and the coppers are treated like shit yet they come in with lots of activity on 3rd Watch. You’ll see a mass exodus of POs, Sgts and LTs in the coming weeks and months.
if the ears dont fit you must acquit
I wasn't around for the original Gallows, but you can tell just from the atmosphere here that this version just isn't capturing the original mood and allure as well. And it doesn't just have to do with the authors or style of writing. We have the internet and social media at our fingertips 24/7 now, so anything you can possibly write in a paper article that needs to be printed and physically distributed has been discussed ad nauseam by time it actually reaches people. Also, the department is just a little bit different than it was before. There's so much misguided youth on here that the youngsters don't even realize they should be disgusted with a person like Escamerit. They're just happy they got a spot on a tact team with 3 or less years OTJ and now they get to wear street clothes and don't have to take calls no more.
Was the writing in this month's issue a little bit lackluster? Yes, but it's only the 2nd issue. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt that they'll adapt and develop a respectable niche within the community. They just need to dig a little bit deeper and start emptying out the real skeletons in the closet. Not just the things we've already heard about 100+ times.
lol.. writer is a smart guy with 20-25 years on the job..tired of dumbasses passing over him with merit passes ..then having the merits become his know nothing supervisor..great work!!
Captains made today. This department has no shame.
These merit hack fucks don’t know how to lead their troops! They are hated. A good leader can get anything they want from their troops. A bad leader gets shit and a bad leader in war sometimes get hit with friendly fire!!! We the Poice want good leaders!!!! WTF
Be fair,Treat your troops good and you will sleep better. If you are wrong and your behavior is offending your troops, call a meeting and amake things right! You’re not God and your soldiers will respect you!!!! Don’t be an arrogant jag!!
Who's Escamerit's merit picks?
To some of the literary critics out there, check out this site devoted to the NYPD.
https://www.thehairbagtimes.com/
Some real good writing.
Your opinion on comedic humor would carry more weight if you didn't have such a lame, unfunny monicker that seems more appropriate written down in a grade school bathroom stall. Now, Inside Westside Do-Nothing, that was a creative handle that someone used to use on this blog
4/25/2019 08:05:00 AM
I guess somebody isn't a Monty Python fan.
Lightfoot you have lost any chance of reforming Police Leadership before you are sworn in. Deceit, deception and incompetence have been institutionalized by the Daley and Rahm administration. Sadly, it appears that you are the Fool, and by your own hand. Allowing Special Ed to stay on as Superintendent you have "Green Lighted" what Daley and Rahm created. You are now part of the Daley and Rahm Corruption Team. You must be Chicago Proud.
4/25/2019 09:38:00 AM
This should be in every news paper available, the plain and simple truth felt by many voters yearning for change, Lori please don't sell your soul too...
I took offense to the person depicted in the upper right hand corner of the gallows page, is there a go fund me page that i can donate my childrens college fund to because i'm feeling a little guilty...
Sorry for some of you cats that aren't a fan of a free publication that no one is forcing you to read. The goal isn't to make a bunch of anonymous posters happy. The Gallows authors know exactly what they are doing when it comes to timing and strategy. The objective was to piss off Escamerit. By all accounts he was very upset. So in the only regard that really matters it was a success. Hey boss, you gonna call down again to Field Services Section to see about getting prints like you did back in January for issue #1? Take your best shot!
Could anyone provide access to the old Gallows?
If somebody started a Gallows for Forensic Services, things would get interesting.
I wasn't around for the original Gallows, but you can tell just from the atmosphere here that this version just isn't capturing the original mood and allure as well. And it doesn't just have to do with the authors or style of writing. We have the internet and social media at our fingertips 24/7 now, so anything you can possibly write in a paper article that needs to be printed and physically distributed has been discussed ad nauseam by time it actually reaches people. Also, the department is just a little bit different than it was before. There's so much misguided youth on here that the youngsters don't even realize they should be disgusted with a person like Escamerit. They're just happy they got a spot on a tact team with 3 or less years OTJ and now they get to wear street clothes and don't have to take calls no more.
Was the writing in this month's issue a little bit lackluster? Yes, but it's only the 2nd issue. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt that they'll adapt and develop a respectable niche within the community. They just need to dig a little bit deeper and start emptying out the real skeletons in the closet. Not just the things we've already heard about 100+ times.
***********************************************************************
The low tech methodology the Gallows provides is good old fashion fun. An underground periodical exposing Escamerit for the fool that he is. He gets all crazy trying to figure out the "who done it" aspect. There is the humourism in the fact that the writers stick their "quill" in the eye of their literary target. That's what gets the buffoon all riled up.
As far as the youngsters go, the smart ones will adapt and survive. The others, well, they'll be culled with the rest of their herd. Who knows, maybe some of them will become SGTs, LTs, CPTs and Commanders down the road. Maybe there's another Special Ed in that group. That's a scary thought.
I get it, but sorry, not near as amusing as the original. WTG, whoever, better than nothing))) Best of luck and I will read the next edition. However, it was still more fun comin in the police mail!!!
Escamilla:
Pull the pin, you pompous inept fool. Your 025 subordinates including most white shirts despise you.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Rumor has it they’re gonna send in cowboy boots Lemmer to boost morale in 025.
4/25/2019 10:29:00 AM
Man, somebody must really hate 025 if they were to do that!
Will someone provide the meaning on the I/F, Insane Fish.
"...I wasn't around for the original Gallows..."
Rookie.
The old Gallows was replaced by the 025 AOL page. The internet was nowhere near as sophisticated as it is now. The page had the scariest picture of Danny Burke on it I have ever seen.
Whatever happened to him?
025th Be very careful what you ask for. You could be dealing with far worse. Imagine for one minute working for Lemmer.
You think you are crying and bitching now! Wait till that "jag off" graces the hallways of the 025th district.
Completely unfunny and unoriginal.
Anonymous said...
"I took offense to the person depicted in the upper right hand corner of the gallows page, is there a go fund me page that i can donate my childrens college fund to because i'm feeling a little guilty..."
4/25/2019 08:06:00 PM
Is the good part about being your "child"
getting to joyously pick which nursing home
"dear ol' dad" gets bundled off to the very
second he misses a step?
Kids watching you like a hawk...
Article Signed I/F
I/F in the 1980's was the name we officers, very jokingly, called our Police 'Gang".
The gangs at that time had names at the stupid level, most members, at age 16 were required to leave school in 7th grade when they turned 16 years of age. Mind you these were some of the smarter ones that got as far as 7th grade.
I/F INSANE FISH
I’m fairly new on the job, who is this guy you call joe curtain. And where can I get copies of the gallows
SCC maybe you can re publish the original Gallows?
Sorry for some of you cats that aren't a fan of a free publication that no one is forcing you to read. The goal isn't to make a bunch of anonymous posters happy. The Gallows authors know exactly what they are doing when it comes to timing and strategy. The objective was to piss off Escamerit. By all accounts he was very upset. So in the only regard that really matters it was a success. Hey boss, you gonna call down again to Field Services Section to see about getting prints like you did back in January for issue #1? Take your best shot!
4/25/2019 08:32:00 PM
Everything in this piss poor imitation was in the Sun Times. Who did it? The Sun-Times.
Issue 01 November 1994
Gallow II
We’re back!!!
Well everyone, it’s been a busy summer, Captain Dinky Moore retired and no one cared.
Captain Tom (Sybil) Cronin transferred out and took all his personalities with him.
Worst part of the summer is old Joe Curtin is still with us and he definitely is like a boil on our ass. For that matter
he’s a boil on every ones ass.
Now that shit was funny!!!!!!!!!
ZZZZzzzzz....nothing clever in that issue
8:36
FreK daddy passed away some time ago.
Everything in this piss poor imitation was in the Sun Times. Who did it? The Sun-Times.
4/26/2019 05:12:00 PM
Really? The Sun-Times had an ad for Evidence Technician to work security? The Sun-Times had a notice that the copy machines were under construction in 025? If you knew how to read you would have noticed that the author's even pointed out they took quotes from Escamerit from the Tribune.... Not the Sun-Times. Go look up the definition of 'everything,' you moron and then get back to us.
What ever happened. To CAPTAIN Sybil Cronin total j goff
Is he dead or alive
Reasons to laugh back in 025 in the 90's - ancient history for some!
By the way Fuck Curtin / he now sucking worms at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery on 111th St.
Some funny items found in the Gallows II were:
From issue 5, March 1995
Reference here is to the CAPS program.
Curtins
Academically
Pretty
Stupid
From issue 2, December 1994
Background Check
A Gallows reporter is in
the process of doing a
background check on the
life of J. C. for a future
Gallows issue, which will
be titled “Joe Curtin: This
Is Your Life”. So far the
reporter says Joe led a sad
life. An interesting thing
did turn up. It was found
out that:
“C-U-R-T-I-N”
actually stands for:
Can't
U
Really
Tell
I’m
Nuts
Everything in this piss poor imitation was in the Sun Times. Who did it? The Sun-Times.
4/26/2019 05:12:00 PM
Really? The Sun-Times had an ad for Evidence Technician to work security? The Sun-Times had a notice that the copy machines were under construction in 025? If you knew how to read you would have noticed that the author's even pointed out they took quotes from Escamerit from the Tribune.... Not the Sun-Times. Go look up the definition of 'everything,' you moron and then get back to us.
4/27/2019 07:51:00 AM
So you restated what the Tribune wrote and crafted a completely unfunny joke, congratulations. Satire is supposed to be funny dickhead. Try again with some writers that have a personality.
So you restated what the Tribune wrote and crafted a completely unfunny joke, congratulations. Satire is supposed to be funny dickhead. Try again with some writers that have a personality.
4/27/2019 09:00:00 PM
For the third column yes. The other two, no. Seriously are you retarded or is this Escamerit ? Try not to feel bad when you spout off and then reality smacks you upside the face Anthony.
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