Newspeak!

1984 is a dystopian novel, published in 1949 as a warning of "the consequences of totalitarianism, mass surveillance and repressive regimentation of people and behaviour..." At least, most sane people see it as a warning - democrats and leftists see it as an instruction manual.

In the novel, the regime invented "newspeak," a language created to limit critical thinking and through that personal identity, self expression and free will. One of our hilarious commenters obviously studied the book extensively and re-wrote the explanation of the Oak Street shooting thusly:

• Lets get the facts straight- A young man was in the wrong place at the wrong time ( inside a closed retail store at 4 am) This community activist, arrived at the location in one of several vehicles borrowed without owners consent. After finding a suitable parking place within above mentioned retail store, this community activist assisted several others in relieving inventory and overstuffed shelves of merchandise. This activist felt it necessary to use force and gunfire to convince officers not to impede their work. Upon ventilation of said activist, he was abandoned by his coworkers and transported for medical treatments. Not to worry- while being treated, lawyers were notified to assist the medical staff. A personal injury case was filed in a timely and expedient manner. It is clear, despite protestations of the Police Superintendent, efforts to de escalate this incident were lacking. It was later learned an officer was slightly injured but is expected to return to work immediately after his 30 day review expires. 

We're going to have to try our hand at this for the next press conference held by Larritorious and his "merit" minions. We figure to get our practice in before the 2024 DNC and the associated BS.