Farewell ShotSpotter

A (mostly) satirical take by the good folks over at The Contrarian. From the middle of the article:

• We all know the real reasons behind the myriad of stabs inflicted upon our all hearing, all knowing friend and ally. It was not because he was inadequate, but because he was effective. The trigger for ShotSpotter’s unfortunate decline and fall was the tragic death of one Adam Toledo. Adam, who we are sure was a fine young man who would have eventually gone on to be a doctor or a teacher or a humanitarian along the lines of Mother Teresa, was, as all too many young men in Chicago are, engaged in the initiation rituals of one of our myriad local street gangs, also referred to as youths, who were in their precocious adolescent exuberance firing shots at passing cars as part of the initiation ritual, much like some sort of a heavily armed fraternity.

  ShotSpotter dutifully spotted the shots, evoking a very rapid police response. From that point in our story, opinions tend to diverge.

The entire piece is peppered with these bits of sarcasm and silliness, very much similar to how we write. 

They get in a sideways dig at Conehead:

• The perpetrators of the untimely demise of ShotSpotter, in a misguided attempt to pursue equity, diversity, inclusion, and other somewhat raggedy virtue words of the day, have hopefully inadvertently and unknowingly inflicted a world of hurt upon the very people who they claim to represent. This my friends is what constitutes a progressive, or did at least, until the fall of 2024.

And a full on dig at the race-mongers:

• No, alas poor ShotSpotter wasn't perfect — nothing and nobody is. But CWB estimates that over 30 people have died as a result of ShotSpotter’s untimely demise. Say $500,000 was saved per month divided by 30 lives lost equals about $17,000. Is that how much black lives matter in this town?

As usual, go read it all.