Earthquake!
Reports coming in the the governor slipped and fell in the shower:
A magnitude 3.8 earthquake was recorded overnight northwest of Springfield, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.
The quake occurred early Tuesday morning about 2.5 miles northwest of the village of Ohlman, roughly 36 miles northwest of Springfield, USGS geophysicist Rafael Abreu Paris said.
“A magnitude 3.8 is a small earthquake. This is a quake that is typical for the central U.S.,” Abreu Paris told the Sun-Times. “Anything above a 4.5 is a little high for the region, so a magnitude 3.8 is something that you could expect anywhere in the world.”
Luckily, it was during shift change, so there were twice the usual number of State Troopers on duty available with moving straps to rescue Porkulous.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
18 Comments:
Thank goodness no one was hurt.
It probably takes three guards to ripe Fatass’ ass.
i guess tripped
Tell fire they'll need the fat tarp, squad
That would not have been pretty.
I used to have an earthquake rider on my house but canceled it during the 2008 depression. Called state farm to add it back and they said due to area, risk, and brick structure they won’t insure me for earthquake.
Biggest earthquake in U.S. was in new Madrid MO in early 1800’s. If that happens again all the brick structures in chicago are going to crumble.
All the bungalows and 2flats and 3 flats gone with zero coverage. That would be bad.
God forbid but if that earthquake happens, frequently gas lines etc are damaged and fire ensues. Your house would be covered under the fire coverage.
I figured he fell off one of his unbolted toilets. Easy to remove to dodge the taxman.
He tried to sit on a toilet that didn't exist!
and it was only a 3.8? if he fell I thought it would be off the charts or at least a 9..... hell he is the size of two clydesdales.
I was wondering what caused that house trembling ?
Wipe
Would hate to be the Wagon Crew who got the call about toilets. Squad Send Help!
So gov. Sausage fingers had a fall. (((((GA-GUSHHHHH)))))
He probably displaced all of the water in the bath tub.
Just play gov fatfuck taking a dump after eating a crave case of white castles along with 3 large fries and a Diet Coke. What a disgusting fat piece of human excrement.
I heard Fata$$ had a 90 lb mole removed from his ass. When he hauls ass he has to make two trips. His blood type is ragu.
I was wondering if Springfield could impose a substantial tax on obese proportional to their wealth???
It was only 3.8 because he’s been losing weight.
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