Friday, September 09, 2005

Fingers, Tiger Urine, Readiness, Viking jobs

Four things we never thought we'd see together in a Quick Hits headline!
  • Remember the finger in the Wendy's chili story? Looks like the perps are pleading guilty to Conspiracy and Attempted Grand Theft. No word on how Wendy's civil suit is proceeding against these two brainiacs. We don't think Wendy's will realize countless millions in damages, but you never know.
  • Mmmmm, nothing like tiger meat stir fry to get the juices flowing! What was that? How do you say "carne de burro" in chinese? Marinated in ... ooookay. Now we know where those stories get started.
  • The mayor says Chicago is prepared for a terrorist attack or natural disaster should it occur on his watch. No word on man made scandals currently rocking city government, but insiders are said to have standing orders that should a breach "unexpectedly" occur in the tunnel system again on or about October 1st, they are to empty EVERY SINGLE SCRAP OF PAPER from their offices into nearby "Hired Trucks" which will dump the load into the river to plug the hole.
  • The mayor also said in the same interview that perhaps the Federal government should hire displaced New Orleans residents in a WPA type job where they could earn money cleaning up the city. "I don't think these people want public aid. These people want a job" Other job offers are pouring in from the Scandinavian government, which is looking to reestablish a presence on the Atlantic seaboard and are looking for "looters and pillagers. Experience a must. Pointy hats provided to applicants"

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT?!? You can't ask those poor people to WORK!!!!!

9/09/2005 10:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hard to work 8 hours...

You have to fit in the crack pipe, the booze, the screwing, the babies, the stealing, the car with the bad temp. plate, grinding the serial number off the gun....

so many things to do....

so little time to work.......

9/10/2005 03:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if he believes this bull-shit, or he feels he has to say it because he is a politician, or more correctly a Democrat

9/10/2005 04:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They have better lives now. A new 2 grand link card, a better bed to sleep in and clean clothes. Thats beter than they had before.

9/10/2005 07:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://wdrb.dayport.com/launcher/1078

Bill Lamb for mayor of Chicago!!

9/10/2005 08:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More anti-black remarks. You guys are something else. I hope leftisbest takes you to task.

9/10/2005 01:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And another thing.....

Whom is Bill Lamb?

9/10/2005 01:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whateva guy!

9/11/2005 06:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not anti black...anti lazy piece of shit. There is a difference. It is what it is. Explain how we are wrong please!

9/11/2005 07:50:00 PM  
Blogger 1096 said...

giving the evacuess jobs rebuilding the damage is an excellant idea, set up stations at all the evacuation centers have the people fill out applications listing the skills they have and give them the jobs that they can do.

9/12/2005 04:45:00 PM  

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