Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Fix Begins Again

More than a few years ago, the Department got rid of the Oral Boards for promotional exams. We aren't sure if there was a lawsuit involved, but essentially it was said that the Oral portion of promotional exams was unfair to some segments of the Department and was unfairly graded to show favoritism to certain connected persons.

Everyone has heard the stories about someone being #2 on the list after the machine graded portion of the exam and then dropping down hundreds of places following an appearance in front of the Board. Or that certain people knew the "catch phrases" that would get them higher placement, like "notify the Watch Commander" or "order a large pepperoni pizza." There must have been something to it as the City got away from the Boards for many years.

Oral Boards have made a reappearance for Lieutenant exams and Captain spots. Now we read that the "Latent Print Examiner" test coming up soon will be 75% test grade and 25% Oral Board. What possible point is there in conducting an Oral Board on a Latent Print Examiner? Seriously, we'd like to know. There's only like 25 spots being made available and the Department wants to make sure the right 25 people make it? What other explanation could there be?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

1st and loving it!!!!

5/14/2006 12:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

an oral board for latent print examiner? I mean, does one have to speak to the fingerprint, or be able to give a speech re: the history of fingerprint technicalities in American law enforcement? What a joke, and an insult to those applying for the position....

5/14/2006 12:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This all part of they plane to keep a brutha down

5/14/2006 12:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

023 third watch captin once said "I was a hard charger back in the day, I once wrote a report to my commander with stats showing that crime goes up during the night hours." ATTACK!

5/14/2006 12:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They did the same thing for the major accident test last year. I took the first half of the test just for the shits and giggles and ended up doing real good, then they sent me a letter in the mail telling me that the second half was a oral. What a joke

5/14/2006 12:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Could they want to make sure that the people promoted to those positions could complete a proper sentence in somewhat corret english so they could testify in court?

5/14/2006 12:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think its to testify in court.
Wait, that makes too much sense for the CPD.
must be another reason.

5/14/2006 12:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss Seiser! Is he still out there?

5/14/2006 12:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stop! Right now! Stop! Wait a minute. You saps. You f*cking five year wonders. It's not oral board, It's oral broad!. And I could use one, or two, or three right now! Geez, what a bunch of p*ckerheads! Got any names other than the Area Two Gun Team?

5/14/2006 01:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Mothers Day to all the lady cops!

5/14/2006 01:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't wait for the Sopranos MOTHERS DAY SPECIAL TONIGHT. Bing ba bing ba ba boom.

5/14/2006 01:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1:18 names,u want names? i got names. do i got names. i got some names. yes, i do. i got names. i got names that would surprise you. i got names that would turn your head around and think twice. i got names. i got names.

5/14/2006 01:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay name names!!! And it better not be any 023 shemales. Been there, done that!

5/14/2006 01:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The oral portion of the Sergeant's Exam given between 1985-88 consisted of four questions.

They were the same first four questions of the short written answer exam part of the test. Where else but Chicago would there be an oral exam where everyone had the questions in advance?

You were not supposed to bring up your education and experience.

They picked a few new fifth questions, one of them was, "What do you need to make an H.B.T. log?"

The correct answer was a pen and paper.

An Oral Board to see if a person can testify in court as trained technical witness, that would make too much sense.

5/14/2006 02:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oral Test ? Did someone say Oral ?

5/14/2006 06:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could use a little oral right now.Any takers?

5/14/2006 07:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5/14/2006 07:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why, I like my house and my neighborhood. Besides, they told me when I joined up that I would have to live here.

5/14/2006 07:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just down at 35th and useless and was told by a reliable source that there is going to be a third part of the test, and this part will be added to all future promotional exams.
The third part will be an anal exam, so the department can meet the requirements of affirmitive action. Now it wont matter if you are black, white, red, brown or yellow, all members will be fudge-packers- and thus eligible for promotion as a minority.

5/14/2006 08:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention the hardest part.....NO REACHAROUNDS ALLOWED

5/14/2006 08:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5/14/2006 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger Captain Ed Lenti #61 said...

When I EARNED the rank of CAPTAIN, I performed flawlessly on the oral board, I sucked Ernie's dick so well that we became close friends! Well, until I burned him by lying to my wife about fucking that broad copper in 023 (I hope she was female!) I may transfer back to 023 and straighten things out...........

5/14/2006 12:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any type of oral board should be fought by the unions these are used by the city to get there favorites in and to discriminate against persons that dont ax questions or use the word huh repeatedly. lawsuits should be filed for any test with a oral board

5/14/2006 12:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is the key phrase............

5/14/2006 12:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey post 12:43 you r a stupid fuck,
never mind I'll tell your momma that, when I corn hole her 2nite, you fuckinn pussy............

5/14/2006 12:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Latent prints??
i thought i signed up for the latent prince exam and was hoping there'd be oral..i love oral..

"knit one pearl two"
"23rd dist boys !"
"yoo hoo"

5/14/2006 12:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This jobs all on the legit Kid!

5/14/2006 02:49:00 PM  
Blogger blacksanction said...

I got fucked over for promotion by some senior officer assclowns back in December at my oral board. It was my last year on the promo list.

Pay back is a bitch as I had opposed both of these incompetent clowns on several issues over the past three years and had won (or so I thought).

I now have to decide whether I want to write again or just ride out the next ten years as a sergeant.

Oral boards are a sham that should be opposed by unions. I suggest in there place should be situational testing so that there is some objective determination of competence. Not that it matters as the fix is always in.

5/14/2006 03:08:00 PM  
Blogger NorthSide said...

"blacksanction" at 3:08 PM

Be it "performance ratings", "oral boards" or so-called "merit" promotions, your last sentence says it all.

Contact me via eMail at:

While I can guarantee you that I will respect your confidentiality, I may be of assistance if you care to discuss your situation.

5/14/2006 04:02:00 PM  
Blogger blacksanction said...

Sorry Northside thanks for the offer but I live in Canada and lawsuits are the kiss of death.

I am happy for the day that both clowns retire, die and I can piss on their graves. If nothing else I am a patient man with a long memory.
The circle of justice is smaller than most think.

5/14/2006 05:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Huberman the latent Prince?

5/14/2006 08:01:00 PM  
Blogger Kool-Aid said...

I had to take an Oral when Kraft hired me

5/14/2006 08:50:00 PM  
Blogger NorthSide said...

Speaking of KOOL-AID, elsewhere on this blog, someone asked for the definition of "drank (drink) the Kool-Aid", a widely-used metaphor which is also used in both the CPD and NYPD.

The expression originated in 1978 when the Rev. Jim Jones, a cult leader, ordered about a thousand of his disciples to drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid at Jonestown, Guyana. They blindly complied, resulting in an en masse suicide.

In its context here and in the NYPD, it generally refers to actual and aspiring police brass who blindly compromise their integrity and principles for financial and career advancement by following an irrational management indoctrination.

(i.e., "Commander John Doe drank the Kool-Aid a long time ago--he actually expects us to believe that this job is on the legit.")

"Kool-Aid drinkers" are generally arrogant, shameless and incompetent political hacks and spineless sycophants ("suckholes").

For further clarification, GOOGLE "drank the Kool-Aid".

5/14/2006 09:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its funny, but for the major accident test the first nine people that they promoted happened to be 3 black, 3 white and 3 hispanics. What are the chances that the first nine people happened to be racially balanced on the list.

5/14/2006 10:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually evidence uncovered later suggested many of the cult memebers were forced at gunpoint to ingest cyanide laced Kool-Aid. This was to some extent a mass murder.

By contrast the idiot Heavens Gate cult in California all voluntarily followed their leader by drinking poison in preparation for hitching a ride on the comet. Who beleives white people can't rise to the occasion and do some bizarre stuff when aske to do so by their learders!

5/14/2006 10:24:00 PM  
Blogger NorthSide said...

10:21 PM

Insufficient data. Even then, statistically insignificant.

In EXAMSCAM, psychometricans calculated that there was less than one chance in 13,800,000,000 that the "process" was NOT rigged. Repeat: 13.8 TRILLION.

5/14/2006 10:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The term KOOL-AID was resurrected by the military regarding officers who bought off on the 'Bush plan to invade and occupy Iraq with 100,000 soldiers' even though the chairman of the joint chiefs (Shinseki) testified that a couple hundred thousand would be needed. Subsequently Rumsfeld had officers fired who did not get on board.

5/14/2006 10:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You were a legend with maybe a thousand felony arrests and a gifted IQ.

You did have one serious fault. YOU REFUSED TO DRINK THE KOOL AID.

5/14/2006 10:37:00 PM  
Blogger NorthSide said...

Thanks for your kind words. I have no "Kool-Aid" regrets. I loved the job...until I learned the joys of retirement.

My heart goes out to the young men and women who must put up with all the management corruption and lack of support.

Best wishes!

5/14/2006 10:45:00 PM  
Anonymous flavor flav' said...

Actually, Jim Jones forced FLAVOR-AID® down their gullets, but it goes to show you the power of Brand Recognition that poor our KOOL-AID® Man took the fall for the People's Temple Sunglassed Satan second-rate soft drink mix selection. Was Jim Jones ever under contract with the C.I.A.? Where's Mike Hoare when we need him??

(Good to have Northside back in the "house" - OH YEAHhhh!)

5/14/2006 10:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Northside, question time. And I'm being serious...

What do you do now with your time as a retiree? I always like to hear good retirement stories, like Santa Fe NM or something entirely different (Silicon Valley or a farm in Indiana). Unfortunately, more retirees than not find nothing to do and aren't adequately prepared to live like children without parents again (i.e., no obligations, but nobody to feed you and pick out your clothes in the morning).

So, without getting too specific, care to share what you do, and if you feel its enough to keep you busy, healthy and vibrant?

Seriously, this might help someone.

5/14/2006 10:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NorthSide said...
Thanks for your kind words. I have no "Kool-Aid" regrets. I loved the job...until I learned the joys of retirement.


Must be nice, wish I could get that....

5/14/2006 10:58:00 PM  
Blogger NorthSide said...

10:54 PM

Daily cunnilingus with assorted nubile hotties--ONLY KIDDIN'!

Actually, I have a wide variety of interests. Reading, music, world travel, fine dining, playing with my dog "Boomer", regular exercise, spontaneous events like ball games, concerts, cruising around in my convertible, interesting conversations with folks, people-watching, the Internet (particularly GOOGLE research and this site), writing, "smelling the roses", just enjoying life without answering to anyone except God.

I'm happily divorced with no dependents. I passionately treasure my freedom and privacy. Essentially, I keep entertained and have a very positive attitude about life in general. While the job has to make one cynical, I just try to focus on the myriad joys that life has to offer.

I am apolitical and now realize that I can't change the world. Stay healthy, kick back and enjoy living.

And right now, I'm going to finish a glass of wine and get a sound night's sleep.

Good night!

5/14/2006 11:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/15/2006 07:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Northside I'm sure your wise enough to ignore the comments from my fellow southsiders. They don't mean any harm and are usually insecure in their manhood. They also don't have the balls to put their name on anything.

5/15/2006 09:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where does it say that the lone jealous stroke is a "southsider"?

5/15/2006 02:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5/14/2006 10:31:10 PM

Actually Eric Shinseki was the Chief of Staff of the Army. When you make an argument and have such a simple fact wrong, then the rest of your points are disregarded.

5/16/2006 09:48:00 PM  

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