Saturday, July 08, 2006

Never Fear!

The Grammar Police are here!

We've noticed quite a few people in the comments sections taking each other to task for a lack of correct spelling, punctuation, verb tense and grammar usage. In this day and age of internet shortcuts and instant text message conversations, it is not surprising that some grammatical rules are discarded in the name of speed, but sometimes it is shocking how far the proper usage of "the King's English" has declined. For example, take this recent Traffic Alert issued by the Department:
It points out the roll over potential of the new Chevy Tahoes in side impact crashes and the importance of wearing seatbelts. No one can argue with that when the numbers of Law Enforcement Officers killed in crashes is surpassing the number killed by felonious actions. But when you look at the back of the Alert, you are treated to this little gem:
We handed this over to a "student of the English language" we know and they were appalled that this ever saw the light of day. Just a quick scan reveals over 20 serious errors in this bulletin. We don't purport to be the Dean of English at the University of Chicago, and sometimes we aren't sure where to put some punctuation, but we strive to at least convey coherent thought and complete sentences. This document does neither.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only on adjective comes to mind when reading that..FUCK!

7/07/2006 11:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Iwas on the medical on the "nurse" gave me a form to have the doctor fill out. He started laughing at the poor spelling, grammar and puncuation. He thought I was kidding and it was a joke!! Besides it being a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy all crooked and such!

Oh yeah, FIRST!!!

7/07/2006 11:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok, second :(

7/07/2006 11:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Fart!

Lets raise the standards to 12 years of Kollege!

7/07/2006 11:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe I was Turd!

7/07/2006 11:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gimme a fucken brake. If ur wurried about speling and gramer go be a techer. I'm shure ur reports r all corect and shit, u desk jockee!

7/07/2006 11:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was told............

Those that can.....DO!

Those that can't.....TEACH!

Those that can't teach.....TEACH GYM!

7/07/2006 11:44:00 PM  
Blogger Rue St. Michel said...

Ha! That Traffic Alert was a good stab at proofreading. You needed to throw a few more marks in there to really make it look legit.

And yes - there are a handful of regular readers to this blog who have made it their mission to point out and correct the multitude of grammatical and typographical mistakes posted here. Good luck, sweethearts. Did someone say Sisyphus?

Most people think a "dangling participle" is the little thing that hangs in the back of your throat.

I'm not surprised about the decline in our english skills. Formal english, even in business letters, has gone right out the window. It isn't even used anymore. When was the last time you heard someone say, "Shall we adjourn to the davenport?" Also english has more complexities than almost any other language. Just the basics can get confusing with all the uses and rules for homonyns, antonyms, and synonyms.

For the first poster (and the rest of you fuckers), there is a very funny audio file on the etymology of the word "fuck" go here. The versatility of the word means it can be used as a verb (to fuck), noun (a fuck), adjective (fucking), adverb, or interjection. Fuck is also one of the few words in standard English commonly used as an infix, as in 'absofuckinglutely' or 'infuckingcredible', along with several other expletive infixes. "Fuck the fucking fuckers."

7/08/2006 12:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget--- do not except any free heroin!!!

7/08/2006 01:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Grammar Police said...

"Anonymous said...
Don't forget--- do not except any free heroin!!!

7/08/2006 01:50:04 AM"

___________________________________

It's ACCEPT heroin, not except.

Thank You.

7/08/2006 05:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And to Mr. / Ms. St. Michael's Street, we spell English with an uppercase "E." Merci.

7/08/2006 08:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite:
In A/2 C.O. Book:

From the desk of Fred "I do it all" Cofey (sp?)

Subject: "For your information and
DECIMATION."

Don't ask me how they spelled that correctly. Once noted, it was gone the following day.

7/08/2006 10:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Genius, FUCK is a verb. To say someone is "Fucking Stupid" then it is an adjective.

7/08/2006 10:46:00 AM  
Anonymous DeaconBlue said...

Fred Coffey and his fat, prick, dumbass kid are both Haters. Ask Baby Coffey about his feelings on reparations for the black man. I wish I was kidding.

7/08/2006 11:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as far as the tahoe accident, I knew a roll over was going to happen, It will continue to happen until the take them out of the district and give them to specialized units that are highly unlikely to engage in a high speed pursuit or respond to jobs in a emergency fashion. Don't get me wrong these trucks are alot better than the impalas and remeber the chevy astro vans we use to have that were mini wagons. someone is gonna get seriously hurt from these tahoes. The squad suitable for normal patrol is a car ie.ford crown vic or the new dodge charger.

7/08/2006 12:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only squad suitable for normal patrol is a car ie.ford crown vic or the new dodge charger.


sorry for the error, feel free to correct any other errors, i accept criticism, it makes me smarter to learn from my mistakes.....

7/08/2006 12:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You learn from your mistakes do you? Well you just made a big one and it will haunt you all your miserable career on the Chicago Police Department. People who admit their mistakes, and learn from their mistakes, have no place in this organization. So why don't you go into the private sector where education, knowledge, experience and results count! Be wildly successful, make a lot of money, marry a beautiful person of the opposite sex and have intelligent children who will repeat the process. Or stay here and see fucking hillbillys steal thirty percent of the promotions and then brag about it.

7/08/2006 12:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dammmm who f#$$## up the Chevy Tahoe already :( that sure didn't take long .

7/08/2006 05:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Downtown!!! Go Get a proof reader! What are we a fucking joke?

At this point I would venture a "YES" if we didn't have 3000 useless pieces of shit wading around 35th street hugging, kissing and dick sucking, something might get done!

HIRE CIVILIANS FOR $8.00 AN HOUR AND PUT THERE ASSES DOWN THERE DOING THE NONSENCE PAPERWORK. YOU REALLY NEED ALL THOSE BALL LICKERS AND ASS MUNCHERS IN THE IVORY TOWER?

THEY ARE NOT EVEN VETERANS THAT NEED A SOFT SPOT WHICH WOULD BE OK!

7/09/2006 04:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What famous P.O., after taking an expired driver's license for bond
on a traffic stop wrote the famous TO-From:
"R/o dint lok to god the licen
Sorry!"
Your affirmative action Police at work!

7/09/2006 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oliva?

7/09/2006 11:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about the female from 23 who took an expired license from sammy soso, right out side of wrigley field, and had to explain she did not know who he was, and did not look at expiration date on license....

7/09/2006 12:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so wut if i kant spel,use gize no wut ime sa in, fuk of

7/10/2006 12:45:00 AM  

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