Slapping Around Checkerboard Chat

LONG POST. Evidently, we've been tweaked by the boys over at the "Official" blog of the Chicago Police Department. We say "tweaked" because their effort is a really half assed attempt to seize the high ground after getting punked and owned by a reader of ours. Well, we're about to slap them around big time and hand them their ass - strap in boys and girls. Our comments are in the italics. And by the way, if Pat Camden had anything to do with the below post, we'll eat our hat, but as his name is on the bottom, he's getting the same treatment:
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Are We For Real. . . or What?

Well, I guess we are "official"! We've gotten hate mail, coded messages. . . the works! It's funny, though. I thought that the biggest critics would be the so-called "unappreciative public" or even the "unscrupulous media". HA! WRONG!!

(We don't know about hate mail and how it makes you "official." Usually, hate mail means someone somewhere really dislikes you. We've gotten a ton of it, too. So now we're "official"? And what makes you think the public or the media actually knows about you? Or cares? You're a bunch of sanitized press releases for crissake.)

If you haven't taken the time to really check us out, I'll simply remind you that we ARE "of, by and for the Police". The REAL police, not the clout-heavy police, not the "whining" police--the every day copper who straps on a duty-belt, gets in a squad and does the job. If you think the site is all BS or propaganda or whatever, do me a favor and don't use it. This site has been created to get factual information to the rank and file and also let the public see the everyday success stories of the Chicago Police Department. We are here to give information, provide a voice and FINALLY give credit to the men and women of this Department who truly deserve it. . . YOU. . . the "everyday copper."

(BWAHAHAHAHAHA. You are "of...the REAL police"? Since when? In what parallel universe are you living? When was the last time either one of you bozos strapped on a full duty belt? Besides Closed Market. And we haven't seen Pat in a Closed Market car lately. Bravo on the giving credit to unsung heroes though - that's about the only thing worthy of mention on your site. As to your being propaganda, didn't you notice that every comment must be approved by the Office of the Superintendent? You tools.)

Those of us working on this blog do so because WE WANT TO. Believe it or not, there are still a lot of police officers who take pride and honor in the work they do. There are problems and issues that make us unhappy with the job, that is part of life. But then again, do you know of ANY job that is problem-free? (If so, send me an application--I could use a stress-free gig!)

(Glad you "WANT TO" work on a blog - we'll bet it's a great gig to get paid $60,000+ a year to do also. Thanks for acknowledging that there are problems and stresses on this job - how about addressing a few of them? Like how to get that $60,000+ rewriting press releases and tossing them up on a website. Morons. We take pride in everything we do, too, but we're doing it in the trenches, not from a sanitized cubicle.)

If you simply want to rant, rave, whine, moan and complain without adding anything constructive, find someplace else to spend your time. Coded messages and inappropriate comments (while creative and SOMETIMES humorous) are not what we are about and will not be posted. There's plenty of space to do that. . . elsewhere.

(Hey! You must mean us. Thanks! It must be nice to be so far separated from the reality of District law enforcement that you have no fucking idea what we put up with in an eight-hour shift - backlog 4 or more hours per tour, lunch denials, stupid bosses, dangerous bosses, 2-year wonders working inside, unattainable mission goals based on what some computer geek decides is the "correct" approach to policing, etc. Need we go on? Humor is what we've got - and we are DAMN proud to provide coppers with what they want, not what the bosses THINK they want.)

Criticism is cool. Stupidity is not. Police officers already face enough adversity on a daily basis. There are enough "haters" out there without us having to turn on each other.

(Have you trolled through our comments sections lately? We can cite dozens of instances where our readers have been denied their posts being published on your site because they bring up uncomfortable truths about the Department writ large. And stop with the pretend concern about what adversity officers face on a daily basis - you have no fucking clue.)

If you are proud to do the job, say so. If you don't like the job, quit. It's easy to be "controversial" and "subversive" when you can do so with an electronic pseudonym. If you have a legitimate complaint or concern, you are more than welcome to express an intelligent opinion. If your concern is legitimate, have the courage to sign your name.

We do..... John Henry and Pat Camden.

(That's real mature - "if you don't like the job, quit." This Department can't hire enough bodies as it is - or don't you remember the days of 35,000 applicants dwindling to under 3,000 for three tests a year? And the bodies that are actually hired are either (A) burned out by the time they get 10 years on or (B) so clout heavy that they never see the inside of a squad car outside of their training cycles.

Fuck you, you sanctimonious pieces of shit. It's morons like you who have and are destroying the greatest job known to mankind. We'd love to have a job writing a blog for the Department at $60 grand a year. [post amended - son of the State's Attorney is still in 015 at the moment - but the pool says not much longer]. Or the daughter of a certain retired exempt who gets an entire spot created for her along with take-home vehicle, all paid for by Federal money.

And a great big FUCK YOU to the snide comment about us being "controversial" and subversive" with an electronic pseudonym. Fuck You. You are naive beyond belief if you think for a moment that any one of us here would have anything like a normal career or a normal life or a normal assignment the minute our name was attached to an alternative blog. We'd be hammered. We'd be bricked. We'd be walking a foot post in a district located at the furthest point from our actual geographic home. No thanks. Our name isn't Pat Camden or John Henry and thank god for that - at least we still have our balls attached to our bodies. And we did notice that you allow anonymous comments anyway - are your commentators afraid to be accused of being company suckasses? You speak with forked tongues, hmmm?

Here's a challenge for you jackasses - let's see your numbers. Throw up a Sitemeter counter open to the public. Lets see how your numbers stack up against any of the other blogs out there. Let the Free Market decide who coppers want to read. Of course, it's easier for you to pretend to be the voice of the Department when you can just have the Department censors block out an entire swath of websites that just happen to have the "blogspot" name attached to them. We'll bet we know what the numbers read, because even with an unlevel playing field, we're still pulling in almost 2,500 visits a day and moderating over 200 comments a day. We don't think you've published 200 comments total yet.

So, John Henry, you steel-driving man, that twinge you feel is a steel rod being driven up your ass courtesy of the alternative blogs. And Pat Camden, if you had anything to do with the listed post, we are truly ashamed of you. We hope it isn't really you because you seem to be such an advocate for the street guys and gals on camera (don't forget to pick up your asses on the way out the door.)

POST AMENDED TO REFLECT CURRENT ASSIGNMENT OF SERGEANT IN QUESTION.