Be a Reverend
We figure this is as good a time as any to remind everyone that you can be an ordained minister for FREE! Simply hop over to ULC.net and fill out the on line application. You get a certificate in under 48 hours (suitable for framing) and then you can be part of the "pilot program" that will allow "reverends" to address roll calls. You can even engage other "reverends" in ecumenical debate, preferably at roll call, without fear of repercussions.
Someone even said that if the pope comes to town, you can get a decent seat at the inter-faith breakfasts.
Someone even said that if the pope comes to town, you can get a decent seat at the inter-faith breakfasts.
Labels: we got nothing
posted by SCC at 12:04 AM
45 Comments:
If I am a reverend do I have to tell Barack HUSSIEN Obama how much I hate the white man so he will like me or should i just go fuck myself?
does this mean that i can have a girlfriend for every day of the week as well as numerous babies mommas. i hope i can learn to dance like rev. cleophus james down at the triple rock. you boys need a little churchin up.
Obama's my reverend! I just awakened from a month long sleep!
I saw him on TV and couldn't contain myself; I fainted, now Im back.
I really want to travel to up & coming economies and spread the word about this savior;ya think
zimbawie,somalia,liberia,kenya, uganda, perhaps s.africa will have
me?
Our own Deheer is one
Got mine, don't know if I want to spend the money on the cool looking fake diploma looking thing that says I am a real reverend. The little cards would be nice though.
Pallidin
The next question is, what do I name my church? All the good names are taken. Heck (can't say hell anymore unless I'm preachin' cause I'm a minister now), some blocks have 5 of these den of theives, I mean churches on them. If anyone can come up with a good name that would be great.
Pallidin
Slim Coleman is to Ministry as Daley is to ethics.
Toodlier is to good government as a heroin addict is to self control.
Email Jones is to family knowledge as is Daley.
Jesse is to Ministry as a Barry Bonds is to honesty.
Blago is to self awareness as is three year old.
Al Sharpton is to Ministry as the HDO was to good government.
Cast you ballot in the FOP election. Don’t vote for the do-nothings or the nit-wit ticket. Vote independent!
These Reverends has as much credibility as any Catholic Priest
I don't need no jive ass preacher speakin to me about heaven or hell!
after you get ordained there - for $119.00 you can get the deluxe package that includes an honorary doctorate degree. hmmm...better than those academy classes.
NO GO BACK TO MASS AND FUCK YOUESELF
A teammate had a birthday recently and we didn't know what to get her, I thought and thought and tried to think what she needed. And then it hit me.....so I made her a reverend.
Now we gots ones of our owns.
Now when boo boo starts smacking his gums I just say talk to the reverend...oh shes the one who puts the cuff on your dumb ass.
Does anyone know if I do become ordained a Reverend, do I get to file for a tax exempt exception?
With the taxes going up in Cook County, only the "revs" will be able to afford things w/o a worry about the high cost of taxation.
Can somebody please inform, somebody who has an MBA or tax attorney in the family??
If so - call me Reverend Cleophus!!
It should be mandatory that all REVS go out into their communities and show Chris Rock's video entitled "How NOT to Get Your Ass Kicked by da PO-leese."
Im glad you put this web site back I have to re-register my reverandism....sweet baby jesus....wooooooooooooo
To poster 1:12 am lmao! God Bless Jesus and the United States of America! Jake Blues
Did I hear right, does Rev. Barack H. Obama want some free cattle and goats from Hillary cause she dissed him with that turbin head photo that was taken by B. Hussien Obama's peoples to show the world how muslim he is.
B. Hussein O. heard about Hillary making all that money off of the sale of cattle bellies back when she was acting governor of Arkansas.
Gimme a free cow, gimmie a free goat, if it's free it's for me.
I was ordained in October by this fine Church. Did not get the fancy paper, but am going to order the license plate holder "Ordained Minister" for my squad. Think it would be great to roll up on a Crime Scene with that on the car.
just got my certificate y'all jesus just told me to go to the nearest beauty salon out west and get a opti perm so i did, i then traded my old car for a cadillac money green of course, i's change my names now to rev. money wuh wuh. CAN I GET AN AMEN IT'S THE HOLY GHOST EXPOLSION NOW WATCH ME DANCE WATCH ME DANCE. YOU WHITE DEVILS BEWARE CAUSE THE HOLY GHOST EXPLOSION IS COMING TO ROLL CALL NEAR YOU!
Holy Blasphemers Batman!!!
Sign me up! Praise the almighty and pass the ammunition. I will discharge the demons possessing their souls. The end days are upon us...when right is wrong and wrong is right! Look!!! As Armageddon approaches!!!
Hear my sermon brothers and sisters...
Da Mayor [is] not my king; I shall not be a liberal. J-Fed maketh me to lie down in the streets of Chicago: P-Fed leadeth me inside IAD offices along Lake Michigan. FOP restoreth my soul: Fellow officers leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for your own sake. Yea, though I walk through the ghetto of the shadow of Death, I will fear no reverends: for thou [art] with other officers; thy gun and thy baton they comfort me. Thou preparest a streaming video before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou crown my head with hat and shield; my star upon my chest. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives: and I will dwell in the City of Chicago until retirement.
The correct address is ULC.org, a church is an organization not a business. .com = company, .org = organization, .gov = government, .edu = school - take an internet course. Thank you, I just became an ordained minister. Now I can start performing weddings.
You can also perform legal marriages. For a fee or just kicks and giggles.
You get a credit card size wallet card ID also.
Everytime I see the rev.s on the TV news my youth comes to mind when I picture Monsignor Kelly of my old parish on the west side adressing the class in grammar school.
I wonder if anyone else gets the same feeling.
Although Monsignor Kelly did not call for all of the coppers to be arrested and to free the gangbangers and dope dealers.
I guess the old Monsignor was behind times or did he know how not to be a piece of shit like the TV news rev.s.
* The House of Felonious Faith
* Constant Agony Cathedral
* Church of Protestant Pufferfish
* Westcide Baptist Doghouse
* Needa Climax Methodist Church
* Serious Misconduct Scientists
- Rev. Palladin
These west side make believe reverends are just like smegma. If you don't kow what it is look it up! "I bees the Reverend Smegma ans i wants to preach bout yous beating ups my peoplees".
Go to www.ulc.net
The Universal Life Church on line.
You can be ordained on line, just fill out a few lines and click
"ordain me". Get you ordination via email and that enables you to go to roll calls telling da po po how to do their job.
Why are they telling us what to do? What gives them the right or experience on being police officers? Isn't there a separation of church and state? If a rev can come to my job and tells me how to do my job, can I go to his job and tell him how to do his? Can I go to his church and tell his people what they should do?
These west side make believe reverends are just like smegma. If you don't kow what it is look it up! "I bees the Reverend Smegma ans i wants to preach bout yous beating ups my peoplees".
3/01/2008 09:17:00 PM
Ok, know what it means and that was nasty! Should definitely be on the SCC no-no list.
Isn't Bobby Rush an ordained minister? Thought I read something a few years back about him not paying rent or something for his church shit.
I think we have overlook the benifit of having one person per 10-4 unit a reverend....couldn't you claim your converstion after a shooting, cr..etc be privlaged between u and your rev ? u go girl( L.R. in 15)
yesterday I couldn't even spell revrund and now I is one!
It may be just a coincidence but "J"-Fed, "j"-esus...hummm
The "j"s may have it.
The five and dime just went out of business so I'll be able to open my church by Palm Sunday.
I want the dee-lux rev kit, that includes the Mr. T-starter kit jury.
NEW YORK (AP) — Tori Spelling is now available for weddings. "Yep, that's right. ... Reverend Tori Spelling! I did it last week online and my official certificate is in the mail. I'm so proud," the 34-year-old actress said in a posting Monday on the MySpace.com site she shares with her husband, Dean McDermott.
Anyone not working last night see the SNL skit about Obama and Jesse Jacksass and Al Sharptongue? PRICELESS!
Order our ministerial certificate now and become a legally ordained minister with the right to use the title "Reverend".
Become an ordained minister and enjoy a new outlook on life! As a P.U.L.C. Minister (with the legal right to use the title "Reverend") you will be free to preach and teach according to the dictates of your heart.
WE AUTHORIZE YOU TO
PERFORM ALL FUNCTIONS
OF THE MINISTRY including marriages, baptisms, funerals, services, etc. As a point of passing, thousands of Ministers
have become enormously wealthy performing simple religious ceremonies.
To get your personal git outa da jail free card go to:
http://www.pulc.com/
Barack Obama Bin-Laden says---
To the first poster, thank you for hating the white man, but also go fuck yourself.
To the poster who called me "Rev.", I must correct you. Reverend is a Christian term. My correct title is Senator, but after my election, I will rename that "Iman".
Also, after my election, my title will be "President", but I will change that to "Califate".
All these "Reverends" should start researching the Quran, because the Bible will be banned.
Since Were talking Reverends. Here is a link to Sharptons rap sheet.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1816884/posts
Church of the Holy Store Front is that taken
Since Were talking Reverends. Here is a link to Sharptons rap sheet.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1816884/posts
3/02/2008 11:16:00 AM
What a piece of shit. And that he still finds a willing media...
THE REVEREND OF EDISON PARK IS THE REVEREND SEISER. THAT RIGHT FOLKS SEISER WAS ORDAINED AT REVEREND ON 01MAR08. REV, SEISER WILL BE APPEARING AT POLICE ROLL CALLS TO DISCUSS THE IMPORTANTANCE OF LOCKING PEOPLE UP, AND SEIZING THEIR CARS. ALSO WILL ALSO DISCUSS COURT TIME O.T. AND DUI ROADBLOCKS AS A WAY TO ENCHANCE YOUR LIFE AS A MAN OF GOD. THE REV SEISER OF THE NEW OVERTIME CHURCH OF EDISON , APPEARING AT YOUR ROLL CALL SOON.
THE REV SEISER WILL BE APPEARING AT A ROLL CALL SOON.
Thanks SCC, now if Im ever in the unfortunate situation where Im forced to use my weapon in a lethal manner, at least I can give the offender his 'last rites'. After I call for CFD of course.
What agency determines the tax exempt status of a bona fide religious organization?
What criteria is used?
And what efforts, if any, are made to confirm that the criteria, if met, are still valid, year after year after year?
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