Monday, August 25, 2008

Arrest in 003

003 District Commander held a press conference:

"We are proud to announce an arrest in the recent spate of shootings surrounding some of our finer gang conflict resolution centers. We brought in a well known professional to assist us and we had a break through last night."


Thanks to a long time regular fan for these.

Labels:

91 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Burger Wilke DOES exsist!

8/25/2008 12:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I nearly wet myself when I saw those pictures!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still laughing!!!

8/25/2008 12:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha stop it! Your killing me! When will you throw in Wendy and some more fast food characters?

8/25/2008 12:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SCC, you fucking kill me! Hilarious

8/25/2008 12:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why isn't Ronald in cuffs?? cr#..

8/25/2008 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous grand xing said...

Why must we suffer the likes of Lillie Crump-Hales?

The face on her gold star looks familiar.

The guy standing next to the cruiser can be found at Clark and Diversey waving down male motorists on midnights. He packs fudge at the candy store on Broadway.

8/25/2008 12:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

L.C-H: "The Burger Queen"

8/25/2008 12:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shitcago doesn't need anymore stinking detectives, we can get the "Hamburglar" to work Burglaries and Robberies!

8/25/2008 12:43:00 AM  
Blogger Detective ShavedLongcock said...

SCC!!!!!!

This post and pics are the funniest thing I have seen in a while! Thanks for posting it!

8/25/2008 01:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Outstanding work! Have it your way!

8/25/2008 01:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK stop now. I sitting here having a bite to eat, and having a refreshing adult beverage and blew food onto the laptop and have a carbonated beverage dripping down the screen!!

Thats some of the funniest stuff Ive seen in a while.

Who ever is doing these keep up the GOOD work.

Thats funny right there, I dont care who you are!!!

8/25/2008 01:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does this mean that the king gets coffee?

8/25/2008 01:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With her mustache, she looks more like a king than a queen. OH YES, promotions are fair on this job!

8/25/2008 01:57:00 AM  
Anonymous crocker. fighting 2211 said...

whoooooooo hoooooooooo its our favorite female sgt back on SCC!

I could only wish I was Ronald McDonald so I could tell all my friends that I was cuffed by Sgt. Hitney!

8/25/2008 01:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was just having a few beers with some friends and we were all bitchin about this shit job. then i saw that picture of hale with the bk crown. FUCKIN HILARIOUS....cheered me up

8/25/2008 02:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am going to hear what Supt Weis has to say. I think he is trying to be a good leader for us p.o's.

I am telling dept supt Cuello that you guys accused her of bartending. Stop that rumor NOW. I may have only one year on but I know this is not true.

I asked my great uncle Tom Byrne (rtd). He respected her for her knowldge. My husband who is an attorney always told to speak my mind. I might just have a year on, but I be not a dummy.

Missy

8/25/2008 02:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok ok .. it's getting old already.

8/25/2008 03:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now I know it's all a set-up, and the typical polices fix is in. I sawd it myself the King popped a cap in ol boys face, now basically after a speedy recovery you sending ol Ronnie up the river.

Man the polices always gets the wrong guy!!!!

What the heck,

8/25/2008 04:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If she is the "KING" of anything, it's the "UGLY STICK".

8/25/2008 04:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is that a tac team? why are they in uniform?

8/25/2008 05:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SCC- the best yet

8/25/2008 05:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice

8/25/2008 05:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's the difference between a streetwalker and some exempts?

None. They're both hos.

8/25/2008 05:33:00 AM  
Anonymous old six shooter said...

You have me crying and pissing in my pants like a young six shooter again!

8/25/2008 07:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Missy--I think you and I need to meet.


SpankDaddy

8/25/2008 07:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like Miss Lillie.

8/25/2008 07:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thar is funny thanks SCC again for some funny shit! She is the king maybe she needs though to go back at work at bk as she is dumb as a box of rocks anyway!

8/25/2008 07:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

crocker. fighting 2211 said...
whoooooooo hoooooooooo its our favorite female sgt back on SCC!

I could only wish I was Ronald McDonald so I could tell all my friends that I was cuffed by Sgt. Hitney!

8/25/2008 01:59:00 AM

if hitney had no clout she would of never made sgt, after the picture she took when the boy was killed by the Southwest plane at Midway! Another clout baby what else is new? will she make lt? Who did she take care of for the stripes?

8/25/2008 07:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now this is the SCC I love!...I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes...

8/25/2008 07:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey it's CROOKER....U JACKASS. IF you're going to post my name then at least spell it right. And YES BEAT 2211 is much safer now that I've swooped in to save the day.
And I will be cutting down the time I spend on calls from 50 minutes on a disturbance to 42 minutes. MY partner bought a muzzle for me.

8/25/2008 07:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I KNEW she was a Latin Queen!

8/25/2008 08:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about demoted Cmdr & current Lt. JC as Grimace, Donnie as the Hamburglar & Malloy as Mayor McCheese.........

8/25/2008 08:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I noticed that the Commanders crown is tilted slightly to the right. Is there any significance?

8/25/2008 08:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy fu*king sh*t. That is funny.

8/25/2008 08:53:00 AM  
Anonymous maya mccheeze said...

A loud outburst of laughter was heard on the third floor at 26cal. Fucking hil-ha-ha-rius. Made my day!

8/25/2008 09:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

but I be not a dummy.



Okay, honey.

8/25/2008 10:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

u bogus office.... but thats a riot........

8/25/2008 10:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is "COOTER" in the police cruiser?

8/25/2008 10:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That picture of Hales has to show up on a T-Shirt...PLEASE someone start producing them. PLEASE!!!!!

8/25/2008 10:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Toiling in 003 said...

SCC thats fucking awesome. At least most of you dont have to work for this clown.. that picture may have to go up on the board in 003..

8/25/2008 10:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Lillie.

Always wipe your chin after eating a glazed doughnut or a triple Whopper with that special sauce.

8/25/2008 10:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The king gets the coffee. Eddie welch the turd and his phone call boyz are still drinking kool aid.

8/25/2008 11:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing. My side is hurting. That is as good as the cougar with the gun and the cougar with the graduation cap.

PRICELESS

8/25/2008 11:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder when Ronald McDonalds family members will start to come forward to say that we arrested the wrong give. He didn't do it.

8/25/2008 11:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Kung fu grip said...

I can put the special sauce on your burger any time. and you can hold the pickle.

8/25/2008 11:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFLMFAO GREAT PIC

8/25/2008 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow 3 ribbons,looks like one of them is a gimme democrapic convention one

8/25/2008 11:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a pic of the King tuning the Hamburglar up?

GRAND CROSSING GUNSLINGER

8/25/2008 11:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh My God!! The pic of the Century. I thought the pic of the babe in front of the crashed Southwest Airlines was at the top, but this beats all.

She be really flappin' her jaws when she sees this. House cats, you best be wearin' your earplugs, it gonna be loud around the office when mama King sees this.

Retired 11 years and oh so glad..............

8/25/2008 11:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One word. Awesome.

8/25/2008 12:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Correct me if i'm wrong but doesn't this asshole have her DNC ribbon(the one next to her crime reduction ribbon) backwards?

Poster child for how this department is fucked up beyond repair.

8/25/2008 12:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

was in 003 early 70s got a call to a closed mcdonalds on cottage.young guy about 19 banging on window when we asked why he stated his brother took his money that he had for the movies and he was trying to see if ronald mcdonald was inside cause he wanted him to go to his house and kick his brothers ass and get his money back aS RONALD IS KNOWN TO HELP DESERVING YOUNGSTERS true story

8/25/2008 12:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is simply AWSOME!!!! no other way to explain it!!

8/25/2008 01:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She dont even have a department commendation award on her blouse...CAPS award crap thats it ! This job bloooooows!!

8/25/2008 01:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

EVEN BURGER KING AND RONALD MCDONALD KNOW ONE THING. SEISER STILL RUNS IT.

8/25/2008 02:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Dear God, give us someone who can lead.

8/25/2008 03:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

where's chalkie

8/25/2008 03:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's Col. Sanders? Can't forget about that fried chicken...

8/25/2008 04:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This shit is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!

8/25/2008 04:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As funny as this is, it still sickens me more than I should let it. I know I can't change my past, but I regret ever having wasted my life on and for this department. To me, when I say department, I mean exempt rank. They run it, they sold themelves to the mayor and did this to us.

Are you sick of being forced to work for immature, inexperienced, idiotic, gossipy, self-serving, pathological liars of supervisors? I am tired of being told that I am going to have to learn to simply get by with doing more with less.

If you are a worker, these types of supervisors are debilitating to work for. If you are a slug or a political hack, your days are always fine.

I feel for you young ones, please get out of here and don't let them destroy you like they did us. Now is the time to listen to your elders.

8/25/2008 04:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

8/25/2008 04:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mayor McCheese was apparently unavailable for comment?

8/25/2008 05:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whose face is on her star???

Or am I hallucinating again?

8/25/2008 06:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First thing is to get rid of Lt. Anthony "Tony" Carothers in 002 and his sorry excuse for a wife Kathy Carothers who works for the CAPS office. With both of there salaries, lets hire 4 new recruits. Hell, they will far better than those two sorry exucses for a city worker. Add them to your list, but please don't put a crown on them. They may really take that one serious. Politics at its best.

8/25/2008 07:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did'nt recognize you without the full length mink coat lil lil (006)

you never were the police, now you're just a fat old woman with a lot of clout from the sugar daddies.

8/25/2008 07:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As funny as this is, it still sickens me more than I should let it. I know I can't change my past, but I regret ever having wasted my life on and for this department. To me, when I say department, I mean exempt rank. They run it, they sold themelves to the mayor and did this to us.

---------------------
Absolutely. The politicans control over this department is more out of control under Weis than ever before. Every boss creating their own little fiefdom. Everyone in this department standing around afraid some jagoff will complain about them. More inside spots today than ever before. Bosses creating policy teams and other cozy inside gigs for a new generation of future supervisors who have no experience on the street.

It used to be that SOME hard working real police became supervisors. Although the cozy elite hated them, they couldn't be moved because those few real police supervisors had the respect of the 5% on this job that ever did anything.

Today everthing is over. Working police have had enough of the politicans, the media, and the citizenry. The few good supervisors will retire. The workers will be fired or banished forever into the shadows of the districts forever following orders of supereducated inside dorks or ghetto thug alderman relatives. The new police will learn that hiding inside is the key to success in this department.

I wish I failed the power test.

8/25/2008 07:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sgt Hitney can not be trusted in 9. She turned her back on a officer from the 2nd watch over some "switching vehicles without notifying a supervisor" nonsense. She could of helped her but instead she ran to a W/C who doesn't like the 2nd watch.

8/25/2008 07:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DID ANY ONE ELSE NOTICE AND DID ANY ONE TELL THAT GOLD STAR SUPER SMART DISTRICT COMMANDER THAT SHE HAS THE AMERICAN FLAG ON THE WRONG WAY ON HER UNIFORM ON THE PICTURE IN THE 003rd DISTRICT

8/25/2008 07:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok ok .. it's getting old already.

8/25/2008 03:13:00 AM

/////////////////////////////

This stuff never gets old. Need to have our laughs, especially at the expense of the goofs on this job. Thanks SCC!!

signed:
one who has a strong dislike for shortshanks

8/25/2008 09:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is not 1 single thing on this job that is Legit anymore.

8/25/2008 09:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEAR GOD, HOW EMBARRASSING FOR THE CPD AND CHICAGO.

8/25/2008 09:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Surprised that no one noticed the upside down American Flag DNC pin on the Hamburglars picture. Another proud American.....

8/25/2008 09:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you are a slug or political hack....Well fuck you hard charger, you could not like my ass 25 years ago,now you think you are the police.This new bread of boss will sell your stupid ass down the river so fast you will have 3 dicks up your ass before you know what happened.So go fuck your self punk ass.

8/25/2008 10:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!! THAT'S SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!!
Love the face on the star!! I see you cover all the details, even Ronald McDonald crying in the back seat!!
I LOVE SCC!

8/26/2008 12:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8/26/2008 01:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can put the special sauce on your burger any time. and you can hold the pickle.

***********************************
So, what you're saying is that "special orders" don't upset you, so I can have it my way?

8/26/2008 02:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell is a "Crump-hales?" Sounds like a STD

8/26/2008 02:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dumb-Hales has a total of THREE honorable mentions in over 20 years of police service...good job Lillie, you RAT

8/26/2008 03:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you are a slug or political hack....Well fuck you hard charger, you could not like my ass 25 years ago,now you think you are the police.This new bread of boss will sell your stupid ass down the river so fast you will have 3 dicks up your ass before you know what happened.So go fuck your self punk ass.

8/25/2008 10:34:00 PM

It's almost impossible your this stupid. When you were doing "Police Work" 25 years ago did you write reports like the retard you are now?

8/26/2008 03:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It used to be that SOME hard working real police became supervisors. Although the cozy elite hated them, they couldn't be moved because those few real police supervisors had the respect of the 5% on this job that ever did anything.

Today everthing is over. Working police have had enough of the politicans, the media, and the citizenry. The few good supervisors will retire.....
8/25/2008 07:19:00 PM

Thank you for your intelligent and accurate comments. I for one appreciate hearing others like yourself share your thoughts. There aren't many people left on this department to talk to who understand your exact words - what hard work is and what a real policeman is.

Most of the time I feel, well actually, I know, that I am alone out there with the kind of "police upraising" that I had. The things I experienced forced me to listen and learn to grow, to think on my own, and to change some of my ways to be a better and smarter and more skillful police. That type of "police upraising" has been dwindling for a long time, and you're right, it is now abolished under this new regime.

And I don't blame the officers on this department for not knowing what we know nor fully understand what we're talking about. There is no one left for them to learn from. Because our so-called ranking supervisors have no hard work ethic or real police background. There are no good role models left on this department.

When our police experience and knowledge is not appreciated nor accepted by the upper ranks, it becomes virtually impossible to motivate and teach those next to us or beneath us.

And you are right again, sir. The many years of political nepotism and corruption has taught members of this department only one unfortunate and unchangeable lesson - if you can't beat em, join em.

From one police to another, thank you for listening.

8/26/2008 04:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3:41 AM

Look at your own post, smartass. You are among the last who should criticize anyone about their lack of writing skills.

8/26/2008 08:33:00 AM  
Anonymous F. Scott Fitzgerald Kinzie, Esquire said...

As the president of the Don't beat the No Meat Eatters Club, I for one am very, very happy that these cow killers are getting justice.

That Burger Wilke person is really, really a bad meat eatting, cow killing machine, and it should stop. NOW!

Go green!!

F. Scott Fitzgerald Kinzie, Esquire

8/26/2008 09:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chicago PD = One Sick and Twisted Joke,Too Bad It's Reality

8/26/2008 10:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you are a worker, these types of supervisors are debilitating to work for.


I'm a worker, I'm a worker, I'm a worker. sickening little children

8/26/2008 11:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dumb-Hales has a total of THREE honorable mentions in over 20 years of police service...good job Lillie, you RAT


This is stupid. Honorable mentions or ribbons don't mean a thing insofar as being the real police. Throughout my years I have know exceptional police officers who have no ribbons yet others who type up their own Honorables. Please don't judge a book by its ribbons, Chances are you will be wrong. Those that can do those that can't blow their own horn,

8/26/2008 11:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's almost impossible your this stupid. When you were doing "Police Work" 25 years ago did you write reports like the retard you are now?


I'm not the author of that post. However from what I have witnessed during the last several years, He appears to be right. Many of the newbees would a hard time amounting to a pimple on a real police officers ass. I hear some of the war stories you tell the family and feel very sad. Required reading in the academy should be "how not to let this job be your self esteem"

8/26/2008 11:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Deering Darling said...

Anonymous said...
How about demoted Cmdr & current Lt. JC as Grimace, Donnie as the Hamburglar & Malloy as Mayor McCheese.........

8/25/2008 08:36:00 AM

The skinny malloy at midway could be Olive Oil

8/26/2008 10:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lets all hope that Aunt Bea gets the next dump.
-----------------------------------
Why are you so hatefull, she worked her butt off to get where she be. Again, my great uncle, Tom Byrne (rtd) was her mentor.

PPO Missy

8/26/2008 11:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kiss could work the register.

8/27/2008 09:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Ron McDonold Irish?

8/27/2008 09:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uhhh, I'm thinking Arby's...

8/27/2008 11:00:00 PM  

<< Home

Newer Posts.......................... ..........................Older Posts