Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bad Idea

Knowing the Russian penchant for being a bit off target:
  • Russia's space agency chief said Wednesday a spacecraft may be dispatched to knock a large asteroid off course and reduce the chances of earth impact, even though U.S. scientists say such a scenario is unlikely.

    Anatoly Perminov told Golos Rossii radio the space agency would hold a meeting soon to assess a mission to Apophis. He said his agency might eventually invite NASA, the European Space Agency, the Chinese space agency and others to join the project.

    When the 270-meter (885-foot) asteroid was first discovered in 2004, astronomers estimated its chances of smashing into Earth in its first flyby, in 2029, at 1-in-37.

    Further studies have ruled out the possibility of an impact in 2029, when the asteroid is expected to come no closer than 18,300 miles (29,450 kilometers) from Earth's surface, but they indicated a small possibility of a hit on subsequent encounters.
While it could be good practice should the need to intercept an asteroid in the future, we aren't sure the Russians are the ones to be leading the charge. We aren't sure NASA is up to it either, but if NASA subcontracts it out to the Japanese, everything should be fine.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about the Muslim space agency? Oh wait, there weren't any rockets in the 5th century.

12/31/2009 04:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How close is 29,450 kilometers?
This shit is scary!!
The Kármán line lies at an altitude of 100 km (62.1 miles) above the Earth's sea level, and is commonly used to define the boundary between the Earth's atmosphere and outer space.[2] This definition is accepted by the Fédération Aéronautique Internationale (FAI), which is an international standard setting and record-keeping body for aeronautics and astronautics.

DAMMIT!! In 2029 I would be four years from retirement!! It only figures. THIS IS F-ING CLOSE!! GO RUSSIA!!

12/31/2009 04:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm, wasn't this storyline ALREADY made into a bad movie?

12/31/2009 04:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Wait! An Asteroid heading straight for earth!!! QUICK! SOMEONE CALL BRUCE WILLIS!!!!

12/31/2009 05:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, why not involve Short Shanks? I'm sure that he has a relative somewhere that could get involved. Isn't his nephew looking for something to do?

12/31/2009 06:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent idea! And stick 42 short and j-fed in the tip top of the capsule to skillfully guide the spacecraft on to it's intended target. Let their lives be worth something after all. They will be remembered for saving the world!

12/31/2009 06:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Ironcrossed said...

The problem with the Japanese doing it is that they'll end up installing a used-panty vending machine on the asteroid.

Or it will be inhabited by a tentacle monster and all their dreams will come true!

12/31/2009 07:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Hey, I'm Just Saying . . said...


Who cares? We'll all probably be pushing up daisies by then after North Korea and Iran nukes the rest of the planet!

12/31/2009 08:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Russians can't keep their nuclear fleet afloat, how can they expect to do a real life version of the film "Armaggeddon?"

12/31/2009 08:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NASA already has a somewhat secret program involving this (by somewhat, I mean we all know about it). You have to wonder how big the threat is.

....and Armageddon was a GREAT movie, even with Ben Afflec in it.

12/31/2009 11:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shortshanks will impose an asteroid impact tax and the asteroid will change its trajectory.

12/31/2009 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The earth ends in 2012,so dont worry.

12/31/2009 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to play Bruce Willis in this ordeal. Cue the Aerosmith.

12/31/2009 11:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just put Daley on a rocket, he can destroy anything.

12/31/2009 11:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe we can send Jfed and crew up there, they can drill a hole and jump in it.

12/31/2009 12:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


don't scoff at this.

Remember we have a black President.

Every time Morgan Freeman plays a President some asteroid heads towards Earth.


Plus, the President is from Chicago. That's got to be worth at least one more asteroid.

Then just to put the shit topping on the end of the world he is a White Sox fan. Two more asteroids at least.

So at a minimum we have 4 asteroids heading towards the Earth.

Is this end of the world shit? As Sarah Palin would say "you betcha".

Now we can't expect our national leaders to do anything to save the planet.

The Dems are worried about health care and gay marriage and the Repubs want to stop national health insurance and gay marriage.

Meanwhile, 4 giant freaking asteroids are heading toward Earth with a projected impact at the parking lot at Sox Park.

Take this seriously SCC or you will never see the Blackhawks with the Stanley Cup.

The end is nigh.

12/31/2009 12:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the global warming scare has been proven a hoax, so let's get all the wackos behind this and use it to somehow destroy our freedoms.

12/31/2009 01:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe this is why Daley's son Patrick has been in Russia recently. He is getting the contract.

12/31/2009 01:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What would really be funny is if, instead of deflecting it off course, it inadvertently set it on a collision course with Earth.

Wait, maybe that's more of a tragedy than comedy...

12/31/2009 03:11:00 PM  
Anonymous John Q. Public said...

I say employ a couple of suicide bombers from the "other" religion and tell them it's an infidel kidney stone passed by Jesus himself. It's the second Coming of the Christian revenge and aimed at Mecca.

Pack the craft with as many of these radical retards as possible and send them into space. And then keep doing it until we run out of would-be typeII bombers.

It's flawless!

12/31/2009 03:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope it doesn't hurt uranus.

12/31/2009 03:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

I hope it doesn't hurt uranus.

12/31/2009 03:18:00 PM

I read there were rings around uranus, is that true? And klingons too!

12/31/2009 07:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe the Rooskies will get it to land on a the head government building in China. That would solve a lot of their problems and ours, too.

Or maybe get it to land on that nitwit in North Korea

12/31/2009 11:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe the Rooskies will get it to land on a the head government building in China. That would solve a lot of their problems and ours, too.

Or maybe get it to land on that nitwit in North Korea

12/31/2009 11:11:00 PM

Or maybe get it to land on that nitwit on the 5th floor

1/01/2010 01:10:00 AM  

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