Monday, November 15, 2010

Dumb Impersonators

  • William Woolridge, 33, and Johnny Johnson, 21, were both charged early Friday with felony false impersonation of a peace officer, according to police.

    Johnson, of the 5900 block of South May Street, was also charged with unlawful use of a weapon, unlawful use of body armor, having a firearm without a valid FOID card and he was cited with a city weapon violation, according to police.

    Woolridge was arrested early Friday at the Austin District police station at 5701 W. Madison St. after identifying himself as a U.S. Army Reservist military policeman, according to a police report. Police were already processing Johnson at the station when Woolridge walked in making his claims.

    Woolridge, of the 8200 block of South Houston Avenue, presented a shield with U.S. Army military police engraved on it, was wearing a bulletproof vest, a gun holster, a magazine holster and handcuffs, but did not have military identification because he said he “left it at home,” the report said.

    He then told police he lied, and allegedly said that he was never in the military but “wished he was,” the report said.

Once again, another argument for the immediate street executions of police impersonators.

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21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Once again, another argument for the immediate street executions of police impersonators."


be careful, now, pumpkinhead might consider this as a direct verbal incitement targeting his non-existent nutsack.

11/15/2010 12:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone willing to bet that one of these nit-wits get hired by CPD?

11/15/2010 12:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Paul said...

Oh please let there be a video of this idiot doing this.

11/15/2010 07:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Theres a procedure in place for becoming "The Police". Its called the entrance exam. Try taking it if you want the job that bad. I could see someone toting a little pocket pistol for some protection, but come on....magazine cases, cuffs, a vest ? F*cking dumb ass poeple never learn a thing !!! To walk into a POLICE STATION with that crap on, WTF ? Did your mother drop you on your head one too many times ?

11/15/2010 07:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos to the officers who caught on to this deception. If you don't know someone in your station it is not uncalled for to see their ID. They should have it on with all we have been through. Everybody who is a cop should understand that type of challenge is not personal. It's what this job has come to in that respect.

11/15/2010 08:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, the Woolridge Family Again.

11/15/2010 08:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like the old timer who trained me back in the early 80s said: "Kid, just how hard will this job be if most of the shitheads were smart?"

11/15/2010 08:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They should of talked to that 14 year old,they could of got some great tips and clues!

11/15/2010 11:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like a set up to me. something rotten in denmark.

11/15/2010 12:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI. One of the shit-heads still had a receipt from "Nates" uniform store for the vest and cover with "police Velcro patch" for the back... just saying..

11/15/2010 12:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Police were already processing Johnson at the station when Woolridge walked in making his claims."

Is there something in the station that attracts these people, draws them through the door -- a scented candle burning, a funny-colored light?

Kind of like a bug zapper...

I wonder how many more of them are out there.

11/15/2010 12:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Needless to say, both these guys are highly qualified to become advisors to J-Fled

11/15/2010 01:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a military policeman during my US Army stint years ago. The Army never allows you to have your weapon unless you are working and then you turn it in at the end of your shift. What a dumbass.

11/15/2010 01:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Lemmy Caution said...

"I'm Batman."

>>spoken roughly<<

11/15/2010 07:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bug zapper! Great analogy!

11/15/2010 07:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Anyone willing to bet that one of these nit-wits get hired by CPD?

11/15/2010 12:50:00 AM


That's just the superintendent.

11/15/2010 08:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey......Who The Heck Do These Guys Think They Are ? Just Because You Put On A Uniform, It Does Not Make You The Police.
Oh.... Sorry Mr. Superintendent.

NEVER MIND...........

11/15/2010 09:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, one of the guys was Masters, the other ...another fed?

11/15/2010 09:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Police were already processing Johnson at the station when Woolridge walked in making his claims."

I'm still mulling this over.

Everyone has heard of "Suicide By Police."

This would seem to be the junior version, called "Getting Yourself In Trouble With The Police."

"Woolridge walked in making his claims."

I have to pop the question --

Why?

Now you will have to excuse me. I'm going to go and beat my head against the oak woodwork for a while.

11/15/2010 10:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Bug zapper! Great analogy!"

--11/15/2010 07:22:00 PM

It's got to be some weird variation of the famous Urge To Confess, as described in the criminology textbooks.

Put on all this gear and then walk to the police station with both arms held out in front of you as though under hypnosis...drawn in as though by a magnet...

"Gonna get arrested. Gonna get arrested." Wave your hand in front of his face, no response...

1. Is is something in the water?

2. If not, should we be putting something in the water?

11/15/2010 10:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Woolridge, of the 8200 block of South Houston Avenue, presented a shield with U.S. Army military police engraved on it..."

"...and then swiftly dropped to the floor in a break-dancing move, spinning around on his back and flailing his arms and legs like a dying cockroach."

I am going to have to see the doctor soon if I can't stop thinking about this.

11/16/2010 04:51:00 PM  

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