Thank Goodness for Downtown
If we didn't have HQ, how would we ever have survived without directions like these?
Did you know you could freeze bread to keep it fresher longer? We had no idea, and neither did a few of our ex-wives. Who knows what would have happened if our prisoners had to actually eat bread that was over 10 days old. Amnesty International might have gotten involved.
And that "color coding" thing? Genius! We would probably have just taken a sharpie and written an "arrival date" on the bottom. Thank goodness they closed our lockup and we don't have to deal with these logistical nightmares any more. Can you imagine if they had a "bread requisition form" and you actually had to send someone to an area or Equipment and Supply to get a loaf of bread? Mayhem!
Labels: silly people
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
82 Comments:
A. I'm color blind. and 2. if green means the bread was made on Sunday and the bread stays fresh for 10 days is that loaf from this Sunday or two Sundays ago?
Brilliant...but you're pulling our leg right?
Will this be on the Sgts test?
What'll be next, recipes?
Who's the new company related to?
"Ay yo turn-key! Ya'll got cheese to go on this 'loney sammitch? No? Ya'll got extra sammitches left over? No? Fuck y'all then! When my prints gonna clear?"
-3 days of "lost prints" later...
*Laying on the bunk almost in tears cuz that ass is jammed from 3 days of bologna and water*
"Office! I'm so sorry... Can y'all PLEASE let me go?"
I was doing a movie detail on a low budget film somewhere on the north side and our lunch location was going to be the basement of an old church.
There was a huge crowd outside of extras, crew and people from the parish who were brought in to help out. The two young priests at the top of the stairs looked out on this multitude and one remarked to the other, "Good grief! How are we going to feed all these people?"
Standing next to them I said, "Well, you start out with five loaves and two fishes..."
Rahm has decided to use rat meat in order to do more with less and reduce his carbon footprint. Since the rats are out of control now, they can be placed on running wheels to generate electricity and then harvested for meat after bulking up from the exercise.
Democrats/socialists sure are smarter than the rest of us. We should surrender more of our liberty and freedom to them so they can teach us how to live.
That probably took a week for Ron to write that. Gotta love the brains at HQ while the blue shirts in the beat cars at the bottom of the food chain do 99% of the BS on this job, while the 1% write memo's in a comfortable cushioned chair listening to listening to light FM elevator music on their computers, sipping on some hot tea. Nothing against Ron, if I could have his plushy job, I'd take it in a heart beat. Unfortunately I'm not a Golden child or part of the Chicago Royal Family on this job and never will be. Two more years to retirement and I'll get back to reality and normalcy which is anywhere outside of this crooked city and state. Hello Texas.
and an ice cold cup of toilet water to wash down that good ole lock up sammy. mmmmmmm good. thanks to a wise man for teaching me that one. u know who u are.
How funny..Joe Patterson actually signed this without having Steve Georgas do it in his name...Can't wait for the 'Turkey Bologna' order to come out...My..My.. we are truly a first class police department...!
Is this stuff coming from the same place where the crime reduction plans are comming from? We are doomed!
Alpha Baking Company is owned by the Marcucci family. Old school Bridgeport heavies. The Stuttering Prick is still at the trough. Follow the money. Or should I say follow the "bread".
off topic, did we need more sgts???the other day in 20 on 2nd watch there were 12 p.o's and 5 sgt's. oh but wait, one sgt has to go in and be station super while the LT leaves at noon. sure he turned in slip for saturday and sunday.
I'm a detention aide who is color blind, have bad eye sight and can not smell. Now how do I tell what the freshness date is?
FYI - "Alpha Baking Company was formed in 1979 when it bought Mary Ann Baking Company in Chicago. Founded in 1935, Mary Ann was the originator of the Chicago-style poppy seed hot dog bun which Alpha continues to bake for not only the Chicago market,..."
Old timers might remember when they were by Cicero and Chicago Ave. Busted out by The Outfit in the 60s.
The last sentence asks, any questions?
They should have added, "operators are standing by."
3rd district commander put you crime fighter gal .the one who was dumped from hq, the one who seems to keep getting hurt working 1st watch, oh the one with the bogus foot injury...maybe she can work this detail, cause she seems fine strolling around mtgrnwd....hmmmmmm .another medical abuser...finally found an injury to stay inside...what a piece of crap,
This would not have been a problem at my old lockup. Half the keepers were too lazy to feed the prisoners. The other half took the bread home.
Color coded bread?
Yes, we make that.
When the bread turns green and fuzzy, it is too late to use.
Use it for penicillin then.
Anonymous said...
"Ay yo turn-key! Ya'll got cheese to go on this 'loney sammitch? No? Ya'll got extra sammitches left over? No? Fuck y'all then! When my prints gonna clear?"
-3 days of "lost prints" later...
*Laying on the bunk almost in tears cuz that ass is jammed from 3 days of bologna and water*
"Office! I'm so sorry... Can y'all PLEASE let me go?"
9/24/2012 12:44:00 AM
We outta toilet paper jagoff! Use your hands. HaHa!
just an fyi for your ex's, SCC:
I always keep bread in freezer. Done this for years. When needed-slices separate easily. It stays fresh as daisy-so zero waste. My toaster has defrost button so toast is perfect too. Maybe you should marry me.
Another sweetheart deal,next the inmates will get a healthy choice menu to choose their Obamacare meal.
No more bread and bologna.
I prefer English muffins and foie gras. Eggs Benedict with truffles and freshly-squeezed orange juice on Sunday mornings.
That Patterson is really on the ball, isn't he?
This company is secretly owned by Vaneko.
Unbelievable...when I worked the CPS lunchrooms in schools when only received cold cut sandwiches, they were frozen meat, cheese & bread. The sandwiches were delivered early morning and had to be left out until lunch so they would defrost.
Prisoners get fresh bread, while our children get frozen, who knows how old sandwiches. By the way, they tasted terrible. (One of the perks, if you want to call it that is you have to eat a lunch before the children), I guess if you got sick, the children wouldn't be fed the same lunch.
What does it mean when the color code is black and green and the bread itself is all hairy and fuzzy and turning black?
Only in Chicago would they replace an actual date written in English with a color code that must be looked up on a chart. Some South Side Irish boss must have thought that one up.
Isn't that bread company a subsidiary of the Vanecko and Davis Supply Corporation?
Anonymous said...
Rahm has decided to use rat meat in order to do more with less and reduce his carbon footprint. Since the rats are out of control now, they can be placed on running wheels to generate electricity and then harvested for meat after bulking up from the exercise.
Democrats/socialists sure are smarter than the rest of us. We should surrender more of our liberty and freedom to them so they can teach us how to live.
9/24/2012 01:51:00 AM
How about leftovers from Taste of Chicago?
This is no doubt the anti-bread shortage initiative in action. This department makes the US Army look like the model of efficiency. What a thoroughly fucked up outfit.
It was good with Yak meat.
i didnt know we had a CHIEF OF BAKED GOODS!
To many gold-stars twinkling at HQ.
Let me guess the White shirt has a Doctorate Degree in Home Economics!!!
As a boy growing up on his native Indonesia, Obama considered ten day old bread a delicacy.
I don't think to many of our lock up people are worried about the condition of the bread they are serving our overnite guests at the graybar hotel--- the bologna has a shelf life of several years and would probably still be edible after a nuclear explosion--- the lesson here is if you don't like pig lips and assholes wedged between two pieces of stale bread don't get your dumb ass arrested....
Gee, the old timers reallly knew what they were doing, why do we pay some exempt for this nonsense?
"...That probably took a week for Ron to write that..."
Ron has had a ridiculous number of made-up inside jobs where he has perfected his do-no work/a**kiss all goldstars-treat rest of members like dirt act...anyone still clinging to a HQ job needs a psych eval
"...How funny..Joe Patterson actually signed this without having Steve Georgas do it in his name..."
patterson is nothing but a georgas puppet
OMG can this get any funnier!
I didn't know the Daley family had opened a bakery.
The Daley's have been making bread, big bread, in this city for decades.
Wow, Alpha Bakery musta come up with some serious cash to get that contract... or maybe Chicago Baking just got tired of paying....
Oh Well the city that works...
New Order coming out on friday ... New sandwich meat supplied by streets and sanitation rodent control. Yum Yum. just look out for tails and whiskers. Another Emanuel money saver.
I'm sorry but they'd all be eating Asian Carp Melts,if I was Boss.
Yet further evidence that inmates are running the asylum!
I bought bread from a man in brazil. he was six four and full of muscle. I said.hey man, you speak my language? he smiled and have me a vegemite sandwich.
What about those that are gluten free? Vegetarians? dietary restrictions? I smell a law suit!
To 9/24/12 02:22am,
Regarding that Hello Texas... Don't bother! I left in Oct 11 and came to Texas. Dallas is nothing but tha Westside with no snow.. It's a DUMP, there might not be the state taxes but they really get ya on everything else. My car insurence went up... Yep more than Crook County! And my god are these people Needy!! And housing is so cheap that the only way u can get away from the goofs is to speand over 600k. They call the man for everything!!! And I mean everything. I thought this was the spot but I'll moving on else where.. Maybe New Zealand!
Anyway to all my former co-workers in stay safe always and even though it might not seem as so CPD is truly the finest.
When our district actually had a working lockup and they ran out of bread between deliveries, someone on the second watch was sent to the resale store on 35th Street with a voucher to pick up a tray of day old bread. I always thought that the city was buying stale bread that was left over but for fresh prices plus shipping and handling.
Wow, is this what we pay those fools at HQ for? I can't believe ink and paper were wasted on this nonsense. Nice to see the chief earning his six figure salary signing and approving such urgent matters. I will definitely sleep better knowing all the scumbags in jail are served fresh bread. Although I'd really be impressed if they contracted Panera to make the bread. Maybe prisoners can get to chose between the asiago cheese focaccia and sourdough.
An Untrained Chief of Staff that worries about stale bread?
-Must be a graduate of U.S. Army Command and Staff College Ft.Leavenworth
"If Bread is the Staff of Life... What is the life of the Staff? One long Clouted Loaf(sleeping)" LoL
-The Coffee Maker
I'm a old retired breadman,you guys can beat the system by saving the color coded ties,also see breadman making delivery for free donuts and raisin bread to take home,due to the fact that we were on street at 4am and you guys always looked out for us.
Somebody let Capt. Barnas know...I heard even though he's retired he still drops by 025 lockup for a bologna sandwich every day.
wouldn't it make more sense to focus on getting these temporary prisoners out of lockup in a more expeditious manner either via bonding or sent over to county rather than worrying about feeding them?
just asking. not a cop.
amazing that the city has an official bread supplier for lockup. they can't just send someone to the day old bakery?
I could almost understand it if they were supplying boxed meals for prisoner use, but bread? does that mean there is an official peanut butter and jelly supplier as well?
a friend told me once
the bolonoga was called "xmas" meat
because it was tinted "green and sparkled remeber they have to feed all those people on like a .75cents to a dollar an inmate
so tommy dart and toni perriwinkle have to cut corners when ever possible
so the inmates get the stuff the "starving homeless would not eat"
as it was quoted "It's Enough To Gag A Maggot"
Not to mention they deliver 10-12 loafs at a time......you know so after the 10 days we now have plenty left to give the mopes as pillows. Its the new Bread/Pillow memo. Have to be smart about city money, huh?
isnt this what we were given to eat during NATO?
Hey it's short for Alpha Romeo Baking Company 19th ward Bakery my freint. I gots a guy dats bakes da bread over by dere.
All is lost...
That probably took a week for Ron to write that. Gotta love the brains at HQ while the blue shirts in the beat cars at the bottom of the food chain do 99% of the BS on this job, while the 1% write memo's in a comfortable cushioned chair listening to listening to light FM elevator music on their computers, sipping on some hot tea. Nothing against Ron, if I could have his plushy job, I'd take it in a heart beat. Unfortunately I'm not a Golden child or part of the Chicago Royal Family on this job and never will be. Two more years to retirement and I'll get back to reality and normalcy which is anywhere outside of this crooked city and state. Hello Texas.
If you think Texas is normal or deals in reality you are in for a real surprise.
my my could he be an example of 3 bites from the merit apple tree?
And coming up next, Balogna freshness dates..........
p.s. Fried dog food may be used for Corned Beef Hash!
Hush Hush
why dont we just put an easy bake oven in lock up and have the lock up keeper bake them cookies and pastries too!!!WTF!!!
Anonymous said...
New Order coming out on friday ... New sandwich meat supplied by streets and sanitation rodent control. Yum Yum. just look out for tails and whiskers. Another Emanuel money saver.
9/24/2012 09:49:00 AM
Topped with tomatoes?
I swear to god, if they make a wallet size "cheat sheet" for this, I might lose it!
triple merit promoted , that b a bunch of bologna , i deserves every promotion , i b a nice guy
now go write a few tickets blue shirt
Texas would be a really great place to live if only there weren't so many TEXANS there.
I'd rather not be around any Texans, myself.
-A former Texas resident
Off topic but, oh well.
It seems Princess RC (011) is on da medical again. Seems she is on da medical more than anyone, yet the princess is the first to criticize anyone else to go on da medical.
Next time before you open your mouth princess look in the mirror and critique yourself first or, you can always just take another personal!
O.K. here is the only problem I see with this. It is illegal. All food products must have a sell by or use by date clearly printed on the label per Federal law! The FDA passed this new law about 15 years ago and it applies to all food products for human consumption.
I did not see that a colored tie rap could be substituted in place of a date code in the law anywhere.
But we all know that Chicago is exempt from Federal laws.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/rahm-emanuel-storms-out-of-interview-after-being-asked-about-kids-school/
And you think the media is not controlled? How dare you ask the mayor a question he didn't give you
I don't understand why the XO can't bake a few loaves of bread in between shifts. It would be much more cost effective.
No one has mentioned the new bread costs twice as much. True. No money for pensions but the now spend double on bread. Life is good when you have connections!
Rahm's plan to keep green and stay in the good graces of the rest of the communists are coming to fruition. He is going to harvest organic, free range rats for consumption by prisoners and public school children. This way they get the needed protein and the city saves money for future theft and graft.
RATS! Big F-N Rats.
I think that the rats are feasting on the blood on the streets. Spraying some bleach on that blood and it must be like a Bloody Mary cocktail for them. Place is crawling with rats as big as cats.
"...they can be placed on running wheels to generate electricity and then harvested for meat after bulking up from the exercise"
LMFAO damn you, i nearly spewed my beverage reading that
the other day in 20 on 2nd watch there were 12 p.o's and 5 sgt's. oh but wait, one sgt has to go in and be station super while the LT leaves at noon. sure he turned in slip for saturday and sunday.
9/24/2012 06:28:00 AM
Your Lt is a rookie. He should take lessons from the 2nd watch Lt on days in 011 who shows up 4-5 hours late on a regular basis and then puts in a slip for overtime when he "stays late"
Anonymous said...
New Order coming out on friday ... New sandwich meat supplied by streets and sanitation rodent control. Yum Yum. just look out for tails and whiskers. Another Emanuel money saver.
9/24/2012 09:49:00 AM
Yup, it is called Rat Loaf. Sort of like head cheese, rat and misc. parts congealed in a gelatinous goo and sliced into protein rich portions. Mmmm, Rat Load sammich on fuzzy bread! I wish I could get the lawsuit on that.
I remember working lock up in the 80's and having to scrape off the mold on the baloney. They ate it along with the stale white bread.
WE can't get basic office supplies, like manilla folders and copy paper, but we can get some trendy bread now.
Make em pay with their LINK cards. Every lock-up should have a LINK swipe. Money earned should go towards lock-up Christmas party.
New bread is costing the city 3 times more than the old. Who's getting that kick back?
"...Maybe you should marry me..."
I'm in! Would you like one of my famous white wine spritzers?
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
Lt's leaving early is the reason rahm wants sgts to run the watch.
He has first hand knowledge that the xo's , captains and lieutenants were working short days and sergeants ran the watch.
Next contract , lts will be assigned to areas ,supervising 2 or more districts . sgts will run district patrol . This way lts can't leave early.
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