Wednesday, January 16, 2013

How to Raise the Clearance Rate

Currently, something like 80% of Chicago homicides go unsolved.  Of the 20% that have an identified offender, something like one-third of those never go to trial for one reason or another.  But our brilliant readers have come up with a plan:
  • How about McDouche lines up a bunch of people and says they are the offenders in all the homicides in Chicago last year. Then when questioned about it he can say, "Well, not really. But they're representative of the people we will catch in the future." 
And the comments got even better from there:
  • I heard that 18's roll call will be held in the lobby of HQ, to show the press that these P.O's are representative of the officers the City will be hiring in fiscal year 2017.

  • Does this mean I can show my WC 'representative' movers? Nah boss, I didn't write any this year, BUT, here are some from last year that I plan on counting for this month again.... LOL

  • Rahm and McGoofy will be handing out some of those giant foam board checks to the rank and file. They will be reprentative of the pension checks we will not be receiving after paying our share for 30 + years. 
And the bullshit continues.

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21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that city is going to have another Sgt class in march

1/16/2013 01:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been doing something similar for years. I get a bill for a speeding or red light ticket in the mail with a picture of my car and license plate and I respond by sending in a picture of a $50 or $100 dollar bill. Works for me.

1/16/2013 02:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Comedy gold. LMAO.

1/16/2013 05:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CPD coppers still are some humorous sons-of-guns around.
After getting beat up every day, starting at roll call, thru their tour by the "citizens ", then go home and watch the news to be beat up again by the media, they still maintain a sense of humor.
God bless them all. !

1/16/2013 06:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT:

46th Ward Operation Pigeon Drop.

Black Op's Net over 70 "Homies" IN BROAD DAYLIGHT SWEEP.

Rumors of hidden Indiana Farmer Work Camp detention centers.

It's starting people! This is likely a training exercise that starts with pigeons and the next thing ya know...I'm just sayin'

CBS news is reporting it this way:

CHICAGO (CBS) – Are you following our story about our pigeon problem? Too many pigeons; everywhere we look, pigeons, thousands of pigeons.

Gotta get them out of here, says Ald. James Cappelman (46th).

With two mystery guys in a truck, and some pigeon bait, and a pigeon net – voila, pigeons in the net. Like in Spain, they’re pigeon poaching. Pop goes the net, in go the poor pigeons.

The pigeons were netted in Chicago, and whisked across the border to a farm in Indiana, where it’s believed the pigeons are rubbed out.

The alderman’s office said he doesn’t know what’s happening to the pigeons.

==================================

Umm-hmmmm. "I don't know nuttin" eh? You know. Tell us, tell us now!

Sounds like a mass murder to me.

We should know in a few days because, homing.

Neighbors in the area were both startled and frighten hearing those loud booms that they thought was gunfire.

They called 9-1-1 but the cops never showed.

When they peered out there windows they had witness the two mysterious men smiling (that's sick) with the pick-up truck. The net entrapped an estimated 70 law-abiding pigeons trying to exercise their rights.

Authorities said these pigeons were going to a farm to lead a better life.

Yeah right. Um-hmmm. I remember my mom getting me a lil' bunny for Easter one year way back when. One day I woke up and the bunny was gone. Hey mom where's my bunny? Mom said "ask you father". That's when I was told that my bunny was given to a friend who had a farm where the bunny would have more room to run/play and stretch his legs and would be much happier..

Oh Really? Yes Really?

We know what happened.

Anyways so Indiana authorities were called and we've been informed that it would be illegal to import pigeons without a permit.

So where are the pigeons? Where is this alleged farm? Are they kidnapped? Will they return? Are they dead and will we find the mass graves later... when it's to late?

We want answers mr. alderman.

1/16/2013 08:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I've been doing something similar for years. I get a bill for a speeding or red light ticket in the mail with a picture of my car and license plate and I respond by sending in a picture of a $50 or $100 dollar bill. Works for me.


They should send you a picture of a pair of handcuffs in response to your pictures of a $50 or $100.

1/16/2013 10:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Retired & Loving IT said,

"•Rahm and McGoofy will be handing out some of those giant foam board checks to the rank and file. They will be reprentative of the pension checks we will not be receiving after paying our share for 30 + years."

That's NOT funny!




.



1/16/2013 10:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait until the detective scandal breaks coming soon to a source near you! We will all. See soon when we are swiping and they reveal the bullshit some detectives have done! No more info on a public blog take it to the bank,but heard "fartman" detective "whoops he did it again"

1/16/2013 11:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoever said Sgt class in March...source? Reliable?...We currently have 1091...with 1137 counted in the budget. It's only a matter of time, just trying to nail down the month. Who's got the inside info?

1/16/2013 01:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soooo, does anyone have any idea when or If another detective class will be??? I'm 64 out. Will I make it???!!!!

1/16/2013 02:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard a detective class in march, haven't heard about Sgts

1/16/2013 02:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard a detective class in march, haven't heard about Sgts

1/16/2013 02:43:00 PM  
Blogger The Keesing Bandit said...

I think it is a wonderful idea to use the officers in 018 as representative of the department.

They are all so pretty in their nice uniforms.

Don't know about that commander, though. I heard he is an icky south sider.

Now, kees me you fool!!!!

1/16/2013 03:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok what is the budget for Lt?

1/16/2013 05:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 58 out for sgt. Will I make it this year? Thanx

1/16/2013 05:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No more Detectives for at least 2 years, thats the rumor at this time. I just started it...

1/16/2013 05:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish we had "representative" politicians.

1/16/2013 07:51:00 PM  
Blogger Roger in Republic said...

Q. Do you know what a rumor is?

A. A rumor is what you start if you haven't heard one in 15 Min.

Q. Do you know what a 'Hot Rumor' is?

A. A Hot rumor is what you start without waiting the 15 Min.

1/16/2013 09:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Wait until the detective scandal breaks coming soon to a source near you! We will all. See soon when we are swiping and they reveal the bullshit some detectives have done! No more info on a public blog take it to the bank,but heard "fartman" detective "whoops he did it again"

1/16/2013 11:30:00 AM
Coppers from Cpd Aiken out in handcuffs and now more? Hope your wrong! The hits just keep coming!

1/16/2013 10:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Roger in Republic said...
Q. Do you know what a rumor is?

A. A rumor is what you start if you haven't heard one in 15 Min.

Q. Do you know what a 'Hot Rumor' is?

A. A Hot rumor is what you start without waiting the 15 Min.

1/16/2013 09:47:00 PM
Well Mr. Republic the latest rumor that I heard was concerning the Sgt's & Det's list for 2019. Now would that be classified as a representative rumor? How about the rumor about the next FOP representative? Would that be a representative rumor of the representative? Perhaps just to simplify we'll go with representative2?

1/16/2013 10:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"•Rahm and McGoofy will be handing out some of those giant foam board checks to the rank and file."

You'll have POs tripping over themselves to be in the Photo Op, believing it will help their career. Mushes

1/17/2013 12:18:00 AM  

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