Friday, May 27, 2016

3....2....1....Weekend

The weekend is officially here. The weather is warm, the air is humid, the Department is racking up overtime, and HeyJackass.com has doubled their staffing (rumor).

One of the amusing features of the HeyJackass site is their "Shot Clock" showing (on average) how many hours and minutes it takes for another person to be shot or killed. Currently, someone is shot about every two hours and killed every fourteen.

Based on those numbers, and our mysterious intuition, we are setting the weekend bar as follows:
  • Forty-two shot, seven of whom will pass on to the Great Beyond (7/35)
Last year, the Official HeyJackass weekend totals were 12 dead, 45 wounded, but last year, there wasn't this OT spending spree and the publicity will cause some hesitation amongst the ne'er-do-wells.

(The weekend begins 1700 hours Friday, and ends midnight Monday-into-Tuesday. HeyJackass.com will be the only numbers accepted as "official")

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55 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Based upon my proprietary algorithm, I can safely predict 12 and 51.

5/27/2016 05:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jump start by 007 district. New murder at approximately 1500rs

5/27/2016 05:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

8/50

5/27/2016 05:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scroll down near the bottom of the jackass site and you will see a very funny advert for CCL training and tactical training, this is brilliant and such a great sense of humor, perhaps if the bangers also saw the link they could employ this company to teach them how to shoot and save the innocents from getting hit and increase the kill ratio, win win for everyone.

5/27/2016 05:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry for the OT post SCC, but give this a read. Gotta love Gerry's comments at the end.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-chicago-police-videos-released-met-20160527-story.html

5/27/2016 05:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

will go with 6 dead, 40 shot.....

5/27/2016 06:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Going with 14/55. Is this an over/under affair?

5/27/2016 06:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny I feel like I am in Vegas.

place your bets. All bets down.
spin the wheel of fortune.....

5/27/2016 06:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wonder did they payoff Tommy skilling? the weather looks to be some major rain, but don't think that will dampen the chiraq shooting galley and the blood will still flow! as long as CPD and their families are safe it doesn't matter what the savage thugs do to each other no loss, except praying for more dirt naps the hospital bills are killing the taxed property owners! Praying for the police everywhere! Like FBI director Comey said "we are fetal" he says that he is correct the #1 federal law enforcement leader states that I listen!

5/27/2016 06:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Retired-On-Duty said...

" . . and HeyJackass.com has doubled their staffing . . "

------------------------------

They better keep fresh batteries in their calculators.

I for one will REMAIN fetal.

Fuck Rahm and the rest of the liberal communists running the nation.

5/27/2016 07:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT - Channel 7 just announced that Rauner vetoed a Dem proposal to reduce payments into the city pensions, i.e., police. The media took Rahm's side of course, and said it would crush taxpayers. No mention whatever of why the payment would be so high. The fact that Daley and the ballerina took pensions holidays for how many years? Good for you Rauner!!! Shove it up nine and a half's ass. Or stick it in his ear.

5/27/2016 07:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you to Governor Rauner for the Veto to shoot down Rahms attempt to reduce the payment into the pension system.
Money owed should not be kicked down the road.
Pay up..

5/27/2016 07:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Buckleytype said...

I've put a little video something together to commemorate the start of Summer in the City:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BFwkA1DOm9t/

5/27/2016 07:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

53 shot and 11 dead.

5/27/2016 07:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chalkie will be very, very active this weekend.

5/27/2016 07:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Currently, someone is shot about every two hours and killed every fourteen."


Less than optimal performance.

I may have to increase the severity of consequence for those falling below my minimum standards.




Chalkie

5/27/2016 07:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wish I would've bought stock in Vanecko and Davis body bags!

5/27/2016 08:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

56 shot 11 dead....

5/27/2016 08:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flash!

Daley/Vanecko Ferris Wheel breaks down at Navy Pier on maiden spin.

Faulty aftermarket Chinese fly wheel procured from Clinton Cathay Partners suspected as cause!

Rubes given free ticket to come back another day!

I bet they didn't get a $28 parking voucher to come back again.

So sorry, suckers!

5/27/2016 09:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You heard it here first.. 30 wounded and only 3 dead. By the way, HeyJackass totals started at 11 or 12 today so lets make sure we get the totals right because the weekend IS considered starting at 5pm friday as reporting for stats goes. So if that is accurate, at this current time we are still at zero shootings and zero homicides since the shootings that happened today all happened before 4pm. Lets not cheat just to fudge the numbers everyone, thats something cpd and GMAC would do. Lets do honest numbers here, friday 5pm to 2359 monday night. I post this as I drive around in my car right now on the west side, its a GHOST TOWN. weve been in 011 all night and the east part of 015, you could hear a pin drop. We are literally tripping over other squad cars and from what i hear its like that citywide tonight. The funny thing is that when we stop and talk to guys on street stops even the gang bangers are telling us that everyone is laying low because its way too hot with the police already this weekend. If it continues I think my numbers might even be too high. it very well could be 25-3 or 25-2 if this many squad cars are going to be out. When I say there are cops everywhere im not being dramatic, they are everywhere. Bikes everywhere, guys walking foot posts and cars driving everywhere. HMMMMM, do you think that if we had enough manpower crime would go down. you know, like tonight????? Yeah, we just wont talk about that

5/27/2016 09:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kind of reminds me of 92..... Like when the shitter blew up on the farm boys.

5/27/2016 09:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

O.T. but very relevant:
Rahm gets bitch slapped on his inaction on our pensions yet again.
This time it's not the courts it's his old buddy Rauner.


Rahm, you slimy asshole, it's really pretty simple.
Fund our pensions. Quit kicking the can down the road. You've got money for all of your ridiculous pet projects so now it's time to get your priorities straight and fund our pensions.

5/27/2016 09:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are expressway shootings/killings separate or added to the Chicago city tally?

5/27/2016 09:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7 dead, 42 wounded.

5/27/2016 09:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good point SCC but the overtime junkies are fetal. I am going 11/45.

5/27/2016 10:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even the ferris wheel @ navy pier sucks. Opening night and riders stuck for 1/2 hour!

5/27/2016 10:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Skilling is in witness protection at this time.

5/27/2016 10:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Including Memorial Day
13 Dead , 49+ wounded
Domestic Disturbances over 250
Domestic Battery calls over 400 because some will not write the paper

5/27/2016 11:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just hope none of the shot are Police or solid citizens.
I am afraid it is a forlorn hope.

5/27/2016 11:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Paul Kersey said...

Hopefully, Chalkie will remain "fatal" over the weekend.

I expect record numbers in the next couple of days.

Stay fatal.

5/28/2016 12:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Thurston Howell III said...

I left the Chicago area already to see a friend in Florida on his Mega-yacht.

A Howell tradition - go on someone else's yacht on Memorial Day and let him pick up fuel bill. Plus we bummed a ride in another friend's Lear Jet to fly down to Miami.

Do you know it costs $40,000 of diesel fuel to go from Miami to Jamaica? So don't complain about filling up your car this weekend.

I'll be like so many of you when you go to a friend's boat, I'll bring him a six-pack of beer - Imported of course - as a token of my appreciation of him taking his yacht out. Do you think I should give him some cash for all the fuel he is going to spend?

Why should I? You don't.






5/28/2016 12:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am amazed at this level for violence. I was a young British soldier in Northern Ireland during our 'troubles'.
The shootings ,bombings and assaults were nasty but I'm sure that your numbers of dead and wounded are higher, both in actual numbers and per head of population
However we had a recognised enemy and the political will to address them.
God bless the CPD and their families, God Damn the political classes who have abandoned the law abiding good people.

5/28/2016 12:47:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

OT: DePaul Gender Studies Department Attacks Milo, College Republicans, University President!

http://www.breitbart.com/milo/2016/05/27/depaul-gender-studies-attack-milo-yiannopoulos-after-visit/

Pay particular attention to the end of the 2nd paragraph into the beginning of the 3rd paragraphs. Fuck DePaul, that cesspool full of socialist asshats!


5/28/2016 12:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the southeast side, 2nd watch Beat 406E stands ready to handle any situation that may arise. They will have plenty of time, as they don't answer radio calls, nor do they back up their fellow officers. They will tell you that they report only to the aldermen, but when the aldermen's offices are closed, just what do they do?? And where do the aldermen fall in our chain of command?

5/28/2016 02:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

6 dead and 48 hit.

5/28/2016 03:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

8 dead 45 shot.

5/28/2016 05:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And in the alternate universe...............Tio hardiman everybody's favorite alleged domestic abuser is now going to protest in Riverdale err sorry a "peace rally" in Riverdale to interfere with law abiding citizens who want to exercise their Second Amendment rights along with Greg L Greer "Public Speaker, Minister, Journalist, Life Coach and Social Activist. aka Race Hustler.
Blame the inanimate object not the"thuglife" , Can't understand normal thinking can they , and why aren't they down in "the wood" on the corners preaching & speaking and "violence interrupting" anyway that's where the poor lost souls are that need the help right ???

Come on down info on the ISRA website

5/28/2016 05:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anyone see the Mayor at LaFollette Park the other day? In his speech (available on the Park District's facebook page) he basically gives approval to drink in the parks as he very dramatically winks and nods when he says that drinking isn't permitted. I don't know about you, but I think any attorney could use that as a defense in court. It's at about minute 12:45 in the video

5/28/2016 06:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Loren Norder said...

... so quiet on the west and south sides you can hear a hammer drop.

5/28/2016 06:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since it is raining out all weekend why don't Rahm and the revruns tell the flock to say indoors and clean the house then if there are shootings the witnesses can tell the police who did it. Man, good thing I got a brain to figure these tings out!, HA, HA, HA

5/28/2016 06:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

15 y/o finished her homework for the weekend and was shot at Fullerton & North Avenue. 2 a.m. (momma, U know where your children is?) Although its projected to be rainy all weekend, city should've been pre-planning to close North Avenue Beach due to past Memorial Weekend 'heat emergencies.' Family deserves justice cause of the city's indifference!

5/28/2016 06:34:00 AM  
Blogger SpankDaddy said...

I use the old hash mark system.

5/28/2016 06:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep working the OT guys - no hires = no pension for you!!! Pay now or pay BIG later!!

5/28/2016 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger BirdsnBlooms1 said...

From: Fri, 5/27 To: Mon, 5/30...........15 Dead-143 Shot.

Sorry, I peeked at HJA.

5/28/2016 11:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow....based on early reports....Chicago is surely the gold standard when it comes to shootings and murders....hey! it's good to be number one in something.....

5/28/2016 11:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am confused as to how some are calling for low shootings when the hood is saturated with Flatfoots? I thought it was the Pooleese that was responsible for all the killing? Hmm.

5/28/2016 01:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the hairgel superstars from the useless units are out in full force in 008, 007, caravaning 10 cars deep lights n sirens to gun calls, no matter where they are!? Do us a favor and go hide back in your glory unit or take a day off for your family you morons.

5/28/2016 02:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No shootings this weekend cause Black Lives Matter

5/28/2016 04:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From ABC /WLS 7-Web site. You think that this venue will be visited by Mr. Chalk ? Outdoor seated theater, can't call it a "Drive In" (BY) movie house. Lost millions and closed 3 years ago, the new owner', probably from China will see Chicago land thug people at their best. Some bank needs a few million dollar write off when this venture goes under.

-COUNTRY CLUB HILLS, Ill. (WLS) --
The Country Club Hills Theater reopened on Saturday, after closing three years ago.

The public is welcome to the venue, located at 4116 183rd St., for free shows from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday to celebrate the reopening.

The outdoor amphitheater in the south suburbs underwent a major renovation, which included new seats and other upgrades.

5/28/2016 05:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

T - Channel 7 just announced that Rauner vetoed a Dem proposal to reduce payments into the city pensions, i.e., police. The media took Rahm's side of course, and said it would crush taxpayers. No mention whatever of why the payment would be so high. The fact that Daley and the ballerina took pensions holidays for how many years? Good for you Rauner!!! Shove it up nine and a half's ass. Or stick it in his ear.

Bullshit...Rahm says now he'll have to raise $300 million in taxes....hey stupid...CUT THE BUDGET $300 million. We have a 3-4 billion dollar budget...$300 million is chump change....CUT SOMETHING....ANYTHING.

5/28/2016 07:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Did anyone see the Mayor at LaFollette Park the other day? In his speech (available on the Park District's facebook page) he basically gives approval to drink in the parks as he very dramatically winks and nods when he says that drinking isn't permitted. I don't know about you, but I think any attorney could use that as a defense in court. It's at about minute 12:45 in the video

5/28/2016 06:04:00 AM

Every time we think he couldn't be more of a moron, he proves us wrong.

5/28/2016 08:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


All the hairgel superstars from the useless units are out in full force in 008, 007, caravaning 10 cars deep lights n sirens to gun calls, no matter where they are!? Do us a favor and go hide back in your glory unit or take a day off for your family you morons.

5/28/2016 02:27:00 PM

............

Nah, I'll make some money. You see they put the saturation teams on 10 hour days. So I have 4 days off this weekend tonight being my first day off. So, I volunteered to work tonight at time and a half and now I have the next three days off to spend with my family. It's a great deal isn't it? Not be mad and bitter. Don't be mad because the "city isn't burning" like you talk about everyday at roll call and wish for every 15 minutes that you check heyjackass for a body count. Go back to moms basement you softball clown. I'm making money for my family and I'll spend some good time with them the next three days. Do us a favor and stop being such a miserable prick

5/28/2016 10:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Burr Oak and Mt. Hopeless have these numbers programmed into their employee time clock. :( = $$$.

5/29/2016 07:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

13 .... 70 but I have a question what happens if they stumble a cross a body after the deadline but the ME puts time of death before midnight.... Timing is everything folks

5/29/2016 07:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


On the southeast side, 2nd watch Beat 406E stands ready to handle any situation that may arise. They will have plenty of time, as they don't answer radio calls, nor do they back up their fellow officers. They will tell you that they report only to the aldermen, but when the aldermen's offices are closed, just what do they do?? And where do the aldermen fall in our chain of command?

------------------------------------------

Some of the best advice I've been given on this job is to worry about yourself and don't get caught up worrying about other people. Make the job work for you, go home safe and back eachother up. Now if there was a call that needed immediate back-up and the beat you are referring to drove by and waived, that is inexcusable, and I would agree with part of your "complaint". And unfortunately alderman have carry a lot of political weight, which isn't right- but not much in Chicago is.

5/29/2016 10:48:00 PM  

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