Assphincter Says What Now?
An article in the Tribune tells of a new technology initiative that will make Chicago the most wired-in city in North America:
- Come late June, city electricians are expected to start strapping beehive-shaped sensor boxes to municipal light poles — environmental Fitbits for neighborhoods, essentially.
How's the air quality? Where does rainwater pool? Where do air temperatures spike?
The 14-inch-high cylinders filled with sensors and cameras — developed by computer scientists and designers at Argonne National Laboratory, the University of Chicago and the School of the Art Institute of Chicago — should shed light on stubborn urban problems — everything from asthma clusters and flood-prone intersections to so-called "heat islands," densely developed corners of the city that trap heat. Ultimately, the data should lead to affordable, energy-efficient solutions to those problems and others.
And this will miraculously enable the tinkerers to fix crooked contracts that provide Chicagoans with substandard roads, corrupt parking meters and promotional exam cheaters.
Hooray!
But as we read further, this paragraph stands out - hell, it leaps out and hits you in the head with a two-by-four:
Hooray!
But as we read further, this paragraph stands out - hell, it leaps out and hits you in the head with a two-by-four:
- But already the city's nascent efforts to collect environmental data are sparking concerns about further erosion of individual privacy in a city already outfitted with police cameras, red light cameras, in-store cameras and public transit cameras. And, perhaps most critically, some observers question whether the collection and analysis of data will lead to meaningful improvements to urban life, as advocates suggest, or just enrich big tech vendors.
"How do we connect these abstract, big-picture, big-data initiatives to the needs of the residents of Chicago who are struggling under a failure to fund education and under a police force that thwarts the will of the people?" asked Daniel X. O'Neil, executive director of Smart Chicago Collaborative, a civic group that aims to improve residents' lives through technology.
Well, firstly, of course the purpose is to enrich vendors. This is Chicago, duh.
Second of all....what the hell was that bullshit? A police force that thwarts the will of the people? We missed that memo somewhere. Was there a training class? A General Order? Something? Because we're all about thwarting. We wake up every morning wondering, "Who can we Thwart today?" We want to be that old-timer who used to come into to Roll Call half in the bag and regale us with war stories about all the Thwarting he had done in years past. Someone got out of line? Thwart! Some lead foot speeding in a School Zone? Oh, someone was getting a Thwarting. Some piss-ant gangbanger giving you the fish eye? You just knew, some Thwart was dished out to everyone wearing colors that night.
Who the hell stuck a quarter in Poindexter over there with all his "thwart" talking?
Second of all....what the hell was that bullshit? A police force that thwarts the will of the people? We missed that memo somewhere. Was there a training class? A General Order? Something? Because we're all about thwarting. We wake up every morning wondering, "Who can we Thwart today?" We want to be that old-timer who used to come into to Roll Call half in the bag and regale us with war stories about all the Thwarting he had done in years past. Someone got out of line? Thwart! Some lead foot speeding in a School Zone? Oh, someone was getting a Thwarting. Some piss-ant gangbanger giving you the fish eye? You just knew, some Thwart was dished out to everyone wearing colors that night.
Who the hell stuck a quarter in Poindexter over there with all his "thwart" talking?
Labels: we got nothing
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
70 Comments:
Solid gold in that last paragraph. Quite hilarious.
Twart early, thwart often.
-WHT
The only life style improvement I know, is to move out of CrOOK County... To a place where people from Chicago don't live.
"We Serve and Thwart." CPT- 'Courtesy, Pride, and Thwart.' 'Together We Can....Thwart.' 'Special Thwart Operations Section.' 'Deep Thwart.'.....Sorry, this thwart thing just got to me!
This shit talk is all we hear now. Sadly, the kids are being brainwashed by it. The future is bleak. Without law and order we have mayhem. Anyone who thinks we are not quite there yet better have a look out the window. Its here.
So, having just posted, I realize that I.G.Fergusson's inside whistleblower on the Lt. Examscam has earned the code name 'Deep Thwart.'
Yep. The good old days.... if they had a thwarting coming then a thwarting they got.
They will say anything to avoid attention on chiraq violence!
So these "beehives" of sensors are full of copper wiring huh?
Put on a pole up in the Ghetto, huh?
Yeah, let me know how that works out after 3.27 minutes....
OHHH!!! Those Police Cameras are sure the fuck helping out a lot!
Homicides are still up, and have been since they've been put up,
How many crimes have that actually SOLVED?
Good GAWD!
WHERE on Earth do they find all these
scheming, "Hah! got yer money!"
Rahm & Co. wind-up assholes?
As perfidious, persistent and hard to eradicate as
any crew of artful Christmas pick-pockets.
>Bump! S'cuse me...<
Rotten m/fers.
Chicago is a financial lick-hitter's paradise.
If this latest iteration of FUCKERY
was NYE muzzle-flash then what you hear
whistling past your ear in the dark
is more tax payer treasure achieving
the vaunted "Escape Velocity," into rarefied
air, never to be seen ever again
by us peed-on peons.
It's like Rahm is joyously waving-in every
bright idea having m/fer he can to
come in, spew a bunch of "don't
look here, look THERE" nonsense to
further crash this city on the rocks
to divert attention from Rahm's
vicious and sinister financial machinations.
"You Cops are out of control and need reforming."
As so many have said:
"Peel that stolen human skin off Rahm and see
the ugly that's below the surface."
Things walking upright and passing for human
seem to abound in this city.
Some of these creatures wear a suit, tie and rock
exquisite razor-cut coiffures. It ain't all prowling
the streets of the West and South sides.
We think we get it...
The Police are getting it "stuck in their ear"
because Policing/Public Safety has always accounted
for the majority of the municipal budget.
Why not not steal that money from The Police,
then starve the department of manpower and training,
thus diverting Police presence from upright, mostly
law abiding/somewhat quiet taxpaying communities in
order to pander to the non-contributors, keep them
riled-up against the Police while blessing the
campaign contributor class with $Billions?
Just wait until they can steal our pensions, wrap
the loot in a pretty bow and gift it to the financial
bojank artists on LaSalle St. and Wall St.
Why not start taking serious notes now so that certain, soon to be
aggrieved parties can have the option of perhaps charting
an alternate course of correction should that ever come to pass?
They have so much faith that Policemen will continue
to abide by a Non-Aggression Clause artfully folded
into a "Gentleman's Agreement."
"You guys aren't allowed to hit us back..."
It is true. How will these detectors detect social injustice, racial oppression, and income inequality?
You are thwarting my will to speed through school zones and run red lights like da mayor does.
I guess the "will of the people" is to shoot the hell out of the neighborhood?
Can't thwart nothing if you are fetal!
By the time the summer bloodshed is over in this fucked up city, there will be fewer democrat voters and the families of these casualties will wish we were around to dish out an old school thwarting, but alas..... They can call the aclu for that now. Idiots
"...data should lead to affordable, energy-efficient solutions to those problems and others."
Here at home we'll play in the city
Powered by the sun
Perfect weather for a streamlined world
There'll be spandex jackets one for everyone
What a beautiful world this will be
What a glorious time to be free
On that train all graphite and glitter
Undersea by rail
Ninety minutes from New York to Paris
More leisure for artists everywhere
A just machine to make big decisions
Programmed by fellows with compassion and vision
We'll be clean when their work is done
We'll be eternally free yes and eternally young...
--Steely Dan, "Beautiful World," I.G.Y.
Oh. These "cylinders" kill rats too?
That'd really be something.
This guy is a trip. Sounds like policemen will have "beehive-shaped sensor boxes" strapped to their heads, too.
Here, "A Radical Approach To Open Police Data." CompStat on steroids.
http://www.derivativeworks.com/
"It’s a start in thinking that we’re all in this together— victims, police, offenders, family. That we have to measure and care about and report on all aspects of safety— not just the crime reports that officers decide to create."
Offenders are on the Big Team now! They are "stakeholders!" After all, we all want the same thing, right?
Somehow I see an ATM with a logging chain wrapped around it, bursting through the front glass of a store and skittering off down the street throwing up sparks behind the stolen truck as the "team" cackles and stamps its feet, exchanging double high-fives and shouting "WHOO!"
It's the will of the people!
No go away, or I shall thwart you a second time!
Show me who to thwart and they shall be thwarted!
Now watch me thwart
Now watch me fetal
OK
He's right. If the will is to rape, rob, murder, sell drugs and gang bang the police are supposed to stop (thwart) that activity Does anyone else feel like they went to sleep and woke up in a strange world where right is wrong, wrong is now right and thieves and murders are in charge. No wonder everyone is moving anywhere else. Savages rule This is Planet of the Democrats.
Will these sensors measure the lead content in the air?
You have to understand, the data gathered by the new sensors will be analyzed by a multidisciplinary team, with world-class experts in everything from data mining algorithms to micro-climatology to epidemiology.
Just kidding, of course it will be warehoused on a server somewhere and casually monitored by city workers who barely understand how a decimal point works.
Another question is who the fuck is Daniel X O'Neil? 19th Ward who couldn't make the CFD? Mt Greenwood follower of the toupee wearing clown at 26th Street? Scion of an old 40th Ward lace curtain family?.. or just your generic while social justice warrior with no real job skills.....
Daniel X. O'Neil
The X stands for....
A. Xavier
B. X, as in the algebraic variable X
C. X, as in Malcolm's last name
D. The Roman numeral ten
E. Xylophone
May the thwart be with you.
Sure would like to THWART the BullSchlit coming out of these Axeholes mouths.....
Maybe he wasn't trying to say "thwart". If he has a lisp, he might have been trying to say "short".
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
I was especially amused by the Lane Tech students building a "Fartometer" to monitor the gases present in the lunchroom. Priceless!
That article was quite a concentration of side show snake oil mumbo jumbo and hub-bubery. LMAO at these nitwits!
Thwarts the will of the people? Like their will to get a job, respect life, holding yourself accountable for your actions, taking care of your children, and their will to be productive members of society instead of parasitic violent savages. Are you talking about that thwarting? Mr. O'Neil you are pandering racist who only continues the further self destruction of the black population. Stop making excuses and look in the mirror.
How do I have time to thwart when I'm too busy watching YouTube videos on my phone. Stay Fetal!
What about putting these up on a drug corner so the public can see the movement of sales, territory disputes, and product logistics?
Anyone else pick up on the cameras? More big brother bullshit disguised as "social betterment" in order to maintain, watch, and control the good citizens. Click on the actual link and read about this bullshit and How they are implementing it in schools. They can't even explain what these things actually do. It's just left wing buzz word babble.
Kinda like the shooting sensor trackers. One of the greatest thefts by vendors in the history of City contracts.
Don't hear much about being shootings in 011 and being caught by these trackers.
How about that technology that the clouted kid invented that could predict crime???
A whole unit was made and once again it just seems to disappear after the funding runs dry.
How about snitch boxes Eddie? we could put them in hall ways at HQ and all the desk dollies could drop dimes in them to snitch on each other about Test cheaters for the Dicks test.
How long before the beehives take a few slugs and need replacement?
Stop all this negativity. The city os broke. Hope we get that hotel on Navy Pier before the juice runs out.
one of the higher ups in Water dept is now the City of Chicago Resiliency Officer---a made up post funded by the MacArthur Foundation--he will assess,monitor, improve a wide range of interconnected things which impact the city---pollution, infrastructure, storm readiness, crime AND poverty...this is already a thing in other cities (MacArthur Foundation apparently needs a spy in big cities everywhere)....and am sure the beehives have nothing to do with monitoring biologic agents and terrorism
Guys, do what you can now to get out of this city. Start putting in applications for smaller towns outside of Illinois. Your kids will have a better environment, and so will you. And though there's still the potential for shit, it isn't as inevitable as it is here. Start getting your plan B together. It's time. There's nothing here for us anymore.
When the "will of the people" in this city seems to be shooting each other...I hope you guys keep "thwarting"...
Remember the gunshot detectors they mounted on telephone poles about 15 years ago? Some one got paid!
Douchebag Danny O'Neill served on the early intervention and personnel concerns working group of Lori Lightfoot's Chicago Police Accountability Task Force. The 112 page report relied on these hating, no nothing, 'poets' as their subject matter experts. PITIFUL
++++ '...a police force that thwarts the will of the people?" asked Daniel X. O'Neil.' ++++
Bwaaahahha!!... "Thwart". Jeezus H., this guy is a f--king moron. Educated, but a moron none the less. Which is typical for all of his ilk today.
By the way, I wonder if Daniel uses 'thwart' a lot in his poetry. After all that's not exactly a word you typically hear in a day, sort of like, humongous. (LOL)
But what's that you say? How do I know Daniel is a poet? No, I 'ain't' going for that old Longfellow joke, I just Googled him. It turns out that Daniel writes Poetry, and has even published a book of his poems.
He even BEGS people to buy it on Twitter!!
---> Daniel X. O'Neil @danxoneil Jan 19
---> Hi, my name is Daniel X. O'Neil and I write poetry books plz buy thx:
And NO, I'm not giving that asshole a link to his crappy book. I'm 'thwarting' him.
I am sure it is to track the good hardworking tax paying citizens of chicago, and to give some contract to a connected fatcat. Sorry for the paranoia, but this place will do it to ya.
Can somebody please shed some light on the connection between Dep Chief S.G. & Levy restaurants?
"...Daniel X. O'Neil, executive director of Smart Chicago Collaborative, a civic group that aims to improve residents' lives through technology."
– This reminds me of The Honeymooners, "A Better Life Through Television" episode. Ralph Kramdon buys a warehouse full of outdated and useless multi function 'implements' to sell on tv. He tells Alice " Do you know how many doors you'd have to knock on to sell these door-to -door"? Alice says "one, if this was the first door.
That's what Green Rahm does, invests in hairbrain schemes to enrich only his friends. Democrats don't pay bills, they create them. Dems spend your money rather than pay their bills.
Here's another organization that your mayor is funding in part. Improving Lives Through Technology...and on Your Dime too.
More grants for nonsense and the only ones getting a benefit are the Staff of Smart Chicago Collaborative .org.
Climate change idiots, or egghead anal thwarts with millions of dollars to spend on beehives to tell me there's a pothole or a flooded curb,
Wow. I guess their technology will soon replace Ward Superintendents?
What's next, Giantic Windmills to cool down the "heat islands" and "asthma dusters" (what the frig is an asthma duster)?
This shit talk is all we hear now. Sadly, the kids are being brainwashed by it. The future is bleak. Without law and order we have mayhem. Anyone who thinks we are not quite there yet better have a look out the window. Its here.
Did you say Mayhem? Well then the citizens can call the Allstate guy instead of the police!
STFU O'Neil. You fuckstick.
To thwart or not to thwart that is the question....
Our BCP has a true copper's prescience. Never seen the guy (doesn't drink in those kind of places) but comes up with this.
"Some of these creatures wear a suit, tie and rock
exquisite razor-cut coiffures. It ain't all prowling
the streets of the West and South sides."
5/02/2016 02:29:00 AM
...and here he is!
http://tinyurl.com/z7c65uf
While decent folk are sleeping, Daniel X. O'Neil prowls the White House and the City Club Of Chicago and SXSW, all of the Right Places with all of the Right People.
Even our troll inadvertently stumbled onto something.
"How will these detectors detect social injustice, racial oppression, and income inequality?"
5/02/2016 02:30:00 AM
Oh, "Smart Chicago" already has that angle covered by their "Justice Project." Their "Big Data" will winkle out "racism" and "police misconduct" everywhere it is, and everywhere it isn't.
http://www.smartchicagocollaborative.org/work/justice/
This will be useful -- "Greater Good Studio is designing a digital directory for youth in detention facilities, who wish to connect with Arts-based organizations upon their release. Smart Chicago is serving as advisor on the project...
"The digital directory will be distributed by USB drive and will contain lists of relevant arts organizations that [get grants for] working with youth today..."
Maybe they can pull out the "Group Ritual Imagining Tool," and teach the bangers to paddle kayaks up the river towing smoldering houses -- or even set the Yacht Club on fire again!
Hear that rustling sound? It's a blizzard of grant money, all ultimately extracted from us either forcibly as taxes, or sneakily by cutting 2 ounces out of your "quart" of mayonnaise.
These people are like a swarm of aphids -- here illustrated at their work of sucking everything dry.
http://tinyurl.com/zf7w8uf
This country is so top-heavy with these hooked-up NGOs and their legions of highly-paid "directors" and "coordinators" and "managers" and "administrators" and "facilitators" that we are staggering under the load of their "projects" and "studies" and "initiatives" and "outreaches." It's pulling us under.
What was that about "income inequality?"
Well, didn't both Richie and his dad want Chicago to be like London?
"You have to understand, the data gathered by the new sensors will be analyzed by a multidisciplinary team, with world-class experts in everything from data mining algorithms to micro-climatology to epidemiology."
5/02/2016 07:02:00 AM
...and you still won't be safe waiting for the bus at night.
Am I missing something here?
"...the city's nascent efforts to collect environmental data are sparking concerns about further erosion of individual privacy in a city already outfitted with police cameras, red light cameras, in-store cameras and public transit cameras. And, perhaps most critically, some observers question whether the collection and analysis of data will lead to meaningful improvements to urban life, as advocates suggest, or just enrich big tech vendors. "
Recently I attended a meeting of a law enforcement fraternity. We had such a "big tech vendor" was the guest speaker who demonstrated what his company had to offer. To say the least it was BIG BROTHER. He set up a laptop and tapped into the Wi-Fi internet and connected it to a projector. Within a few minutes in a banquet room in a hotel this agent of the vendor had connected to untold thousands of government and private cameras around the world. Some of these camera were obvious choices looking at the façade of great public building then going into the garage entrances and meeting halls. Some were train stations, shopping malls and airports in various countries. We looked at real time feed of police car cameras. He was actually able to take control of a highway camera four states away and turn it and zoom in on details. One thing that was really spooky was looking in at a West Coast college class room and watch students coming and going. He could project up to thirty-six camera images with that laptop at a time or just one.
After the demonstration I told him one thing and he seem to agree. Don't sell anything to the City of Chicago unless you get paid in advance, or has video on a few select officials to bargain with.
Stay Safe, Big Brother is everywhere.
"...or just your generic white social justice warrior with no real job skills..."
5/02/2016 07:17:00 AM
This one has too many skills.
X. has Invented Himself but good, and ingratiated himself into the highest circles of influence.
Sleek -- or is "facile" the word I'm struggling for?
Anyway, when you going to send someone out to fix my "heat island?"
I won't spoil this by explaining the "asthma clusters" now. They'll find out.
At checkoff, the "Thwarted" box is the only box that I put a number in anymore.
I hope these things are bulletproof!
You have to love Chicago, thwarts and all.
Here is part of the ass-hat's bio (you can find more if you Google this nitwit):
POLITICS
I am now and I have always been a member of the Democratic Party, and I can be generally described as a “Big City Democrat”. Some current real-world manifestations of this are that I think President Barack Obama is doing a great job. I took a semi-famous picture at the President’s re-election HQ in the last election cycle. At election time I often write down why I’m voting the way I am, like an October 2008 screed about Sobbing Southbound. I worked for and contributed to David Hoffman for U.S. Senate in Illinois in 2010. I voted for Rahm Emanuel for Mayor of the City of Chicago in 2011. I live in the 32nd Ward and I am a fan of my Alderman, Scott Waguespack. Lastly, I have a placeholder organization called CampaignSwing, under which I organize some of my political consulting work.
PERSONAL
I am a recovering alcoholic and have been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous since September 10, 2000. I seek to practice these principles in all of my affairs.
I am a Catholic and love being one. I own the Roman Missal, Third Edition, and I carry it around for fun. Like almost every other Catholic I know, I am highly supportive of things like the right of women to choose what to do with their bodies and the right of all people to love and marry whomever they want. I justify this by referring to the Nicene Creed that we say in Mass— as long as I believe every single word in there (and I do), I am a Catholic.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
So these "beehives" of sensors are full of copper wiring huh?
Put on a pole up in the Ghetto, huh?
Yeah, let me know how that works out after 3.27 minutes....
5/02/2016 02:21:00 AM
We can smell them burning the insulation off the wires
already... Fire barrel going at 3am under some dead-ended
viaduct...
Don't fuck with 'em... Leave 'em alone.
The shit is toxic and we have enough
Policemen diagnosed/dying of assorted
cancers and upper respiratory ailments.
Thwarting is contrary to DeEscalantism. My Lie-tenant told me so in roll call!
Rahmulus was trying to thwart at the Run to Remember &
St. Jude parade but we still want to thwart him.
Thwart? Was he watching an old batman episode?
Taser training at academy tommorow, today a SC cop shot an offender with taser who died immediately . Officer striped, looking at going to jail and being sued civily, can't wait to go to training!!
"Remember the gunshot detectors they mounted on telephone poles about 15 years ago?"
5/02/2016 10:28:00 AM
Sometimes there are 50-60 mobile gunshot detectors stationed outside liquor stores, "clubs," in parks, etc. "Heard shot, felt pain, drew connection."
The system works so well that the county has expanded the morgue cooler, and the south side will be getting a whole new trauma center.
Can't argue with success.
Daniel X. O'Neil says --
"I am a recovering alcoholic and have been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous since September 10, 2000. I seek to practice these principles in all of my affairs."
AA says --
"...someone identifying themselves as an A.A. member using their full name and/or a likeness, such as a full-face photograph, would be contrary to the spirit of the Eleventh Tradition, which states in the Long Form that, “...our [last] names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed.”
"Experience suggests that it is in keeping with the Eleventh Tradition not to disclose A.A. membership on social networking sites as well as on any other website, blog, electronic bulletin board, etc., that is not composed solely of A.A. members and not password protected, or is accessible to the public."
I used to have thwarts on my hands, but I went to a dermatologist and had them removed.
X. further awes us with --
"I took a semi-famous picture at the President’s re-election HQ in the last election cycle."
Well, aren't you something.
"Lastly, I have a placeholder organization called CampaignSwing..."
Talk about private languages. WTF is a "placeholder organization?" Everyone gets an engraved napkin ring or something?
Reality check -- never heard of this person before 10 AM today. Instinctively despise him by 10 PM.
What a butt-crawler. That's what it takes in Chicago. No wonder he's come so far.
Here, Emanuel schmoozing on lower Wacker.
https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20160502/downtown/rahm-takes-police-bike-for-joy-ride-but-no-charges-filed
Yeah, we love you too.
Nothing like a city where a presidential candidate isn't allowed to speak.
"So these "beehives" of sensors are full of copper wiring huh? Put on a pole up in the Ghetto, huh? Yeah, let me know how that works out after 3.27 minutes..."
5/02/2016 02:21:00 AM
Not only that, but >whisper< the cylinders themselves are made of SOLID PLATINUM.
There. Won't be a one left come morning.
"You have to love Chicago, thwarts and all."
5/02/2016 06:17:00 PM
$$$
X. -- "I own the Roman Missal, Third Edition, and I carry it around for fun."
5/02/2016 07:06:00 PM
Yeah, some people are like that.
*
Theres is one above the rear doors of area 3. Look up!
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