Call Someone.....Please
Another day, and we hear of another suicide.
We post this every so often and we'll post it again. Boys and girls, if you are so far down that dark and disturbing path that you can't see any direction, exit, sunlight, call EAP (Employee Assistance Program).
They do good work - we've seen it first hand for a few coppers in trouble. It's confidential, it's 24-hours, it will not affect your job and might just save your life.
And officers, if you know someone looking into that abyss, intervene somehow. Get a friend, get someone to help. Make the call and see what EAP can do in terms of guiding you to a resolution that doesn't involve you second-guessing and wondering, "What else could I have done?"
Please.
We post this every so often and we'll post it again. Boys and girls, if you are so far down that dark and disturbing path that you can't see any direction, exit, sunlight, call EAP (Employee Assistance Program).
They do good work - we've seen it first hand for a few coppers in trouble. It's confidential, it's 24-hours, it will not affect your job and might just save your life.
And officers, if you know someone looking into that abyss, intervene somehow. Get a friend, get someone to help. Make the call and see what EAP can do in terms of guiding you to a resolution that doesn't involve you second-guessing and wondering, "What else could I have done?"
Please.
Labels: info for the police
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
30 Comments:
Shit get a new job, bullshit is not worth your life
R.I P. My Brother in Blue!
I only wish I knew you hurt so bad.
W.N.
Good people at EAP. And it really is confidential. If you're at the point of even thinking of calling them, please do. It really will change your life. For the better.
Sometimes it does seem overwhelming. EAP is the way to go.
Years ago it used to be the shit on the streets. The men and women in blue had your back. Now it's the pus**a** bosses that are the problem. No time due. Knit picking Bulls hit. It's not worth taking your life for. These bosses need to look in the mirror, and take a little of the responsibility for this shit. RIP.
A warrior for peace will never fight again in Chicago.
The nation loses another one of it's best and all law abiding mourns. R.I.P.
J.J.
Again....call EAP. Call for yourself. Call for your family. Call for your friends. Call. Don't be one of those paranoid curmudgeons about EAP. Just go.
I don't know if there is such thing as the afterlife. If there is, I hope you find the peace that you didn't have here.
This is another tragedy and sadly will happen again, & again & again.
Sometimes that emotional pain is worse than any physical ailment...and once you're in that spot, it's so hard to see a way out. I have a kid, a veteran, who is constantly walking that edge. It affects the whole family. Everyone is on high alert, all the time. And still, knowing, there's nothing anyone can do if someone is really bent on taking their own life. But I agree, intervene whenever and however you can. Even that slap on the back and a "good to see you, buddy" might do more than you imagine.
Dear officers, I am someone that cannot imagine the horrible things that you see at times. From what I understand, no human should. Then you are expected to bury it deep inside, and go on with your day, and to the next "call" as nothing is bothering you. The human mind can only take so much before it begins to cry out for help ..i.e. Drinking, drugs, abusive behavior towards others, and sometimes when it all becomes too much, suicide. Please, for the love of your families, both personal and in blue, get it he help, everyone needs you.
It helped me 10 years ago while I was going through my divorce after 20 years of marriage. Then the dreams started with all of the stuff I saw and did but didn't let it get to me (so I thought). I would look at the floor and talk because I thought it was weakness. In the end, it opened my eyes and I was able to let things go and no one knew what I was doing it.
Back when I used to drink in the "District key Club" an old timer told me " Kid if you stay on the job long enough you will have your own private cemetery. Don't visit often or stay too long"
Retired and now enjoying life.
My wife and I used them when we, I should say I, were going through some really tough times. They saved my marriage to the most wonderful woman anyone could imagine. Use them if you need them.
You can't say this enough. There is always, everyday, someone who needs to hear this and needs our support to make the call.
You were one of the good guys. R.I.P.
There were a couple of times I felt it was all closing in. I called a friend or two. Their comments were 'suck it up', 'let it go', 'don't let it get to you', 'you care too much'. Fortunately, I had pets who needed me, so I pushed through the darkest days of my life on my own.
PAY ATTENTION, people. When a friend or co-worker tries to talk to you, don' be too busy, too clueless or too flippant. That might be the only warning sign there is. And you'll be the idiot who dutifully goes to the funeral and says, "If only I'd known, I'd have done ANYTHING to stop it."
RIP My prayers to you and your family.
Move, Live in a tent, live within means, get outta Chicago. Nothing justfies this. This city job is worhtless. Stay embryonic and Stay safe! My prayers!
Great guy and friend, you will be missed.
If in that position please call,call someone.Lost family and co-workers too many times to count over the years.
I can't agree more. If you need help, call EAP. If someone else needs help get them to EAP. If you are a boss and someone won't take the help, order them to EAP (they won't tell you what happened, but will tell you if the person showed up). CPD's suicide is almost double the national average.
As a supervisor I've had to call EAP a few times for my officers. Each time the officers were more than appreciative and could not believe how beneficial a simple call could be. We are all capable of giving advice, but having a counselor give a professional opinion on a person's problems tends to work out much better. So if you see a friend or co-worker having problems, sit them down and call EAP for them. It's just a phone call. A phone call that can save a life.
"I've seen enough to know, I've seen too much"
I'm a boss and can not take this shit anymore how they treat those not in favor.
I used to comment on SCC but stopped for no reason really, just did. Still, when I read of this incident and having known the member, it compelled me to comment. I’m also a member of EAP and hopefully helped others along the way. I’ve also had other EAP members get me through my issues I’ve experienced on the job. We need to get the message out that you’re never alone. EAP is there to listen and help you and your family members. Like many on the job, after 25 yrs. I’ve seen some terrible things. If you feel the need to talk about something or are going through some tough times, please call EAP. They’re good people and will listen.
My brother's & sister's, after over 37 years in L.E. I retired in 2014. All was good, I was enjoying life, or so I thought...
All the things I've seen & experienced on the job, things you would only see in a horror movie, or worse those involving children...
While doing your "job" you put these things aside to "deal with" later because your busy dealing with the incident at hand...
The incidents begin to pile up year after year, forgotten or so you think...
I was couple months into retirement, relaxing when something on tv triggered a long ago memory of a horror I put away for later...
Well "Later" had arrived & I was completely unprepared for it... The flood gates were opened & I just lost it...
Fortunately I had reconnected with my faith and I sought out my Pastor for help & he guided me to a wonderful counselor who helped me tremendously...
Please remember, "LATER" comes when you least expect it, I implore you to periodically purge your memories by consulting with a trusted professional counselor, and turn to our creator for he wants whats best for us...
"LATER" is not negotiable, EVERYONE goes through it eventually... DON'T be afraid to reach out for help, it is NOT weakness! In fact it takes great strength & courage to reach out for help!
Sad to hear.
I thank whatever powers may be, for the ability to leave the job behind, the second I pull off the station parking lot.
I remember my first day on the street after the academy. My FTO told me it was not a job of every day physical labor, but there isn't anything you won't see. I really didn't realize that the everything I saw in my 29 years would give me nightmares and could not be forgotten. I know every PO doesn't want to admit that what we see haunts them. We all believe we are supposed to be above emotion. But I became overwhelmed with work and problems at home. Glad I swallowed my pride and went to EAP. I would have either suffered a breakdown or ended my life. The hardest thing is admit we are human and at the end of our rope. Believe me, no one judges anybody that seeks help. I found there are a majority of PO's who suffer the same thing sometime through their career. There will be others on the job who end their lives, but if this saves one PO, it is a great start. I lost a child to suicide. I will never stop grieving my loss. It has plunged me into a constant state of depression. If there is any sign that you are feeling suicidal, please get help. When someone takes their life, their loved ones die inside also. All those who survive you have hundreds of questions, but never will get any answers. Please to my brothers and sisters always remember mental pain and demons can be healed by something other than ending your life.
Most people who end their lives usually start self medicating heavily before they take their life. They try to stop the mental anguish and demons. If you see someone who is drinking much more than usual every day and even on duty, that is a sign. They will either just quit communicating in general with everyone or they will show signs of anger against others for no reason. Some are unable to concentrate. There are so many subtle signs, but most are hard to even recognize. Just look out for each other. If you think that someone is acting very different from their usual self and it is getting worse over time, talk to them, tell a supervisor you trust or call EAP and inform them of your concerns. See if that person will speak to the person on the phone or see if someone can come out to see them. It may be nothing or might be something that saves them. Better to do too much than doing nothing at all. You know your partner or co-worker better than anyone. I always knew when my partner had something bothering him. Partners were like a married couple. You are with your partner than with your spouse. Partners should know what each other will do before they do it. Partners are so close it causes domestics between them.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm a boss and can not take this shit anymore how they treat those not in favor.
5/02/2016 10:25:00 PM
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Thanks for being a boss who cares and not just out for Yourself. I was blessed to work for some of the greatest bosses on CPD, from Sergeants to Deputy Superintendents.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
"I've seen enough to know, I've seen too much"
5/02/2016 08:22:00 PM
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Well said. What we see every day is a major reason suicides of PO's ranks in the top 3. The other thing that affects us how we go from boredom to sheer terror in seconds, which was almost every day. That and unhealthy diets cause so many heart attacks of PO's.
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