Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Squad Car Designs

  • The Chicago Police Department, seeking a fresh look for its patrol vehicles, is asking officers for proposals to redesign the layout of the words, images and colors on the outside of its newer cars.

    Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson, in a memo to his 12,000 officers on Friday, said their design ideas will be considered by review panels in each of the 22 patrol districts. Each district will send one idea to a department-wide panel of police officers and residents from the communities.

    The panel will select five finalists, and Johnson will pick the winning design.
So all of the talent in Units is being disregarded? To design a new paint scheme, they have to bid back to Districts? Well, we suppose that's one way to increase District manpower. We question how different the new design is going to be - there are an awful lot of restrictions:
  • The base color of the vehicle must be white, and the dominant color of the design must be the "existing blue" on the current squad cars, Johnson said in the memo.

    Also, every design must include the four-digit identification number on both sides of the front quarter panels and on the back of the vehicles, he said in the memo. The words "Chicago police" must be part of the design and applied to both sides of the vehicle, as should the phrase "We Serve and Protect."

    Johnson also said the word "police" should be on the back of the vehicle, and the phrases "Emergencies dial 911" and "Non-Emergencies dial 311" should be part of the design. The department's Twitter handle, @Chicago_Police, also must be included.

    [...] said the department's new anonymous crime reporting website, cpdtip.com, will also likely be included in the redesign.
We're guessing that someone will just modernize the lettering and make "meritorious" something for their suggestions.

Submissions are already pouring into our e-mail box:




Our favorite so far:


Labels:

162 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Classic!

6/13/2017 12:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would say get one of those US post office small mail trucks and put a blue light on it... no need to go above 30 MPH, you go higher than that, you end up in federal court or you getting and your family in a jam; then it will be hey, Rahm... help me out with this mortgage after I done lost my nice poleec job

6/13/2017 12:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They laughed at Weis for wanting to do the same thing. Of course this is just a sticker reconfiguration, the base color must stay white.

6/13/2017 12:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooooh, goody! A coloring contest!
Deflect and distract away from real issues.
What's out of date about 'serve and protect', anyway?
Not a damned thing, but let's have a party game to cheer everybody up!
Idiots.

6/13/2017 12:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We did that to each other. The mind - blowing fact that Chicago must spell out in Legalise a simple employee art contest. This place wouldn't know a civil jesture if it literally bit The City in the ass. Mayor Daley placed more time on the decision he made on placent of "The Picasso."
Boo! HSSss......

6/13/2017 12:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Put "Chalkie" on the cars and an LED message board on the roof counting the number of shootings and murders for each day. Also replace the siren with whatever thug rapper song is popular on the charts.

6/13/2017 12:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tint the windows and get some rims. A sound system too. No cage either...not necessary. Temporary tags a must....no light bar either, no purpose. spotlight please...

6/13/2017 12:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Freakin hilarious!

6/13/2017 12:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say just bring in a fleet of Toyota Prius's!

6/13/2017 12:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bait and switch. stay focused troops....Manpower!!!!!

6/13/2017 12:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NHL draft at UC 23-24 June. Another reason time due denied. Not a big event like NFL but another high profile national event.

I'm starting to think if something really bad happens (9/11 or Katrina) we totally fucked, we loose the city, and we on our own for 3 to 4 days. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck but I gots family here and my pension is tied to the city's success. Oh well, in 100 years we all dead so fuck it.

6/13/2017 12:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the old school blue with white doors & white top.
60's? 70's? Plymouths? I don't know, I'm a hair gel generation. But still they look better.

6/13/2017 12:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3730 has a warm and fuzzy feeling inbetween his legs over this.

6/13/2017 12:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we should summit pictures of what we already have. Fuck changing the design. How about spending that money on things like pdt's that work

6/13/2017 12:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this 12,000 shit? Try somewhere in the 8,000's, asshole. 9161. You got 4 districts on the north side and what do they have, 700 cops, total? Quit sending every warm body to the ghetto. Send some to the land of tax payers that have no cops in their districts. We pay the fucking tab for city services and you spend damn near every dollar on an expanding number of do nothings that require taxpayer sustenance.

These thugs have damn near chased every working black person out of town, when does it end? 160,000 black people left Chicago over the last two decades and the crime in those communities is about the same, the population is diminished but the assholes number the same.

6/13/2017 12:37:00 AM  
Blogger I Fart In Your General Direction said...

"Also, every design must include the four-digit identification number on both sides of the front quarter panels and on the back of the vehicles, he said in the memo."


There's no such thing as a "front quarter panel", STUPIDintendent.

They're called "fenders".

Even simpleton Homer Simpson would know this... regardless of the fact he suggested 'rack and peanut steering' on his spec car.

6/13/2017 12:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now retired for some years...

I was in the parking lot of 11th and State when the first prototype of the current squad car was delivered. Superintendent James Rochford came down to view the new vehicle and exclaimed, "It still looks like a taxicab!"

Here is an idea. Since the Chicago Transit Authority has adopted the logo of London Transit Authority maybe we should use the police car graphics from London too. Like the white cars with the big POLICE on the side and the big ugly blue and yellow squares. Somebody had to be drunk when they designed that scheme. I mean they are really ugly.

6/13/2017 12:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Submission #4 for the win...

Steak-Head Ed would've been better off
foisting this dumb shit off on the media
at his next presser...

You know...
Since they now have a seat at the table
regarding things pertaining to Police
and Public Safety in this city.

And since this is contract negotiation time,
they're going to "Lean In" for all it's worth
but curiously, they have no answer (other
than flogging The Police) to the eye-watering
death rituals being performed on the public way
by Dude Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of
Rahm & Co.

Shit's been kinda hot for Rahm lately...

This "Squad Car Design"
bullshit is just that.
Bullshit.

CPD fleet should be subdued
urban gray slick-tops to put more distance
between the public and The Police
they hold in such contempt.

Now... back to kicking yet more
pockets in Rahm's narrow ass.

He's been very busy running from his usually
supine media attack purse-mutts.

They've tangled the leashes chasing him around yapping,
shitting on his shoes and humping his ankles about why
he isn't using a federal consent decree to beat The
Police into submission.

Seriously...
Glorious day when some local newsie or somebody
close to Rahm catches a flaming late 90's sled
upon completion of a full power reverse up
their front steps and through their ornately
carved front door courtesy of Dude Inc.

"KA-BLOOEEYY!"

>Running out the back door to escape
the flames and right into the arms
of Dude himself<

Watch for tacit admission & grudging understanding
to make a very unscheduled appearance.

That's what's going to have to happen
here in Chicago.

The smart set who fancied themselves to
be oh so above the ghastly shit-mud
Policemen have to wade through, suddenly
find themselves dancing and crying for
The Police to hurry and jiggle the handle
because the horrid stuff is all in THEIR
Blahniks and Birkenstocks.

No Fucks Left To Give.

Police Like You Have No Friends.

6/13/2017 01:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every Squad car needs a cowbell and a speaker to allow you to announce, "Bring out your Dead!"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GU0d8kpybVg

6/13/2017 01:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious!!

6/13/2017 02:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No mention of donuts?

6/13/2017 03:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Add "we swerve and neglect."

6/13/2017 05:29:00 AM  
Blogger Ben Dover said...

I like the last one best also it truly reflects the CPd. BUT White & Blue, White & Blue. It would seem you have a problem following instructions-work on that.

6/13/2017 05:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally off-topic, but, I drove past Brandy's on Harlem and wondered what ever became of that incident where 016 desk had the glass in the food. Never heard the outcome on that one. Does anyone know?

6/13/2017 05:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the start of Johnson's reform and transparency, pathetic..

6/13/2017 06:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The cars should be Red the color the street run with everyday. Lettered in blue with the BLM logo and phone #. It would be nice if you included a few shister lawyers names and numbers just to save the community time.

6/13/2017 06:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is little Herbie still designing city art for Susan Mendoza?
I'd like to see some pitchforks on the squad

6/13/2017 06:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our commander said not to bother, he's just submitting the current design because this is silly.

6/13/2017 06:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is the contest on the legit? Like the Lt's test?

6/13/2017 06:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we should let the community and blm decide which design should fit cpd vehicles..

6/13/2017 06:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe little Herbie is available to design it.

6/13/2017 06:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about painting figures of uniformed police officers sitting in the front passenger seat and the back seats. This will at least give the perception that we have the manpower we need for patrol.

6/13/2017 06:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remove that silly CAPS star on the doors, much in the way you remove an old city sticker and Viola! Done.

6/13/2017 07:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

New slogan..."Good Luck With the Call,Nineteen Paul. Let's Be Real, This Car Stays Fetal".

6/13/2017 07:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where is herbies design?

6/13/2017 07:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can we get a car so the paint doesn't peel off??

how come only our police cars have the paint peeling off?

cars just a few years old that look like acid rain washed the paint off the hoods.

6/13/2017 07:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The politicians would like to see bullseyes on the doors.

6/13/2017 07:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can we use the Ringlin Brothers and Barnum Bailey sign since they are no longer in business? We can also use their theme music instead of sirens! With Tiny Dancer as our Ringmaster?

6/13/2017 07:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw a press conference by the midget mayor with all the city department heads, about a new initiative to make the streets safer for drivers, bike riders and pedestrians. It's a shame that the new suspended license rules, state's attorney wasn't there, to learn how unsafe the street really are...

6/13/2017 07:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On another note: looks like the superintendent passed out yesterday on Chicago/Lamon, at a news conference... Boys and girls make sure you drink plenty of water, it's going to be hot...





6/13/2017 07:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also why was homeland security and group from CPD out at Larry Rosch ford looking at all the New Ford
Vehicles that already are numbered for CPD have pics if i can send then to SCC

The vehicles are not under lock and key. The lot is open 24/7 and the new vehicles are open unlocked.

How fast can we steal a new cpd squad and use it in a crime or terrorist attack

6/13/2017 07:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want the new siren to wail wheeeeeeeeeeezzzzzeeeeeeeee.

6/13/2017 07:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe next he'll let all us kids send in name to name the next Dept. Dog.

I did that in kindergarten. It was fun and I made my mummy happy with my choice.

Ed your the fucking best.

6/13/2017 07:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Herbie from the city sticker design should submit a design. He's a talented young man.
Please notice me keesing bandit. I want your keeses

6/13/2017 07:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"No Fucks Given" or "No Fucks Left to Give" should be the new motto. Kudos to whoever came up with those phrases.

6/13/2017 08:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that is very inventive another waste of time waste of money come on Eddie more and more the stupidity continues!

On another note Houston Texas is selling city streets how soon will it be with the junk bond status of Chicago will we be doing the same?

http://www.chron.com/news/politics/houston/article/Cash-strapped-city-sells-some-streets-11213664.php

6/13/2017 08:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If they are serious about all this "change" stuff then they need to re-brand the police department starting with the vehicle design which is the first thing citizens see. Go back to the black and white squad cars. Change the uniform to a polo shirt. If they want to make it appear that we are a different department then change the look of the old one. Don't just rearrange the decals on the cars

6/13/2017 08:07:00 AM  
Blogger Retired Indiana Copper said...

gam·i·fi·ca·tion
noun
the application of typical elements of game playing (e.g., point scoring, competition with others, rules of play) to other areas of activity, to encourage engagement with a product or service.
"gamification is exciting because it promises to make the hard stuff in life fun"

"You WILL become an ENGAGED employee!!!" ...... 9.5

6/13/2017 08:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Herbie Pulgar will be a member of the committee responsible for picking the winner.

6/13/2017 08:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Don't Tread on Me said...

Lets not gloss over the fact that he thinks we have 12000 officers on the job...

6/13/2017 08:35:00 AM  
Blogger Jack Trumpblood said...

I like donuts.

6/13/2017 08:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about we bring in Herbie Pulgar as, "an award winning, design concepts, expert?" LOL

6/13/2017 08:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too late to submit a wagon... with a revolving door? In one side, out the other. Will save everyone a lot of time.

6/13/2017 08:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson, in a memo to his 12,000 officers on Friday"

We used to hear that we had 13,500 officers. Now we are officially down to 12000? Good thing there is no manpower shortage.

Most rank and file will say it's closer to 10,000 however. We may never know as no one knows who to trust at this point.

But we are glad to hear about the Design on the squads. That will make such a difference! This will give us the much needed confidence boost in out sorely lacking morale.

BTW Boss, can I have a personal? I've been holding it for hours.

6/13/2017 08:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's herbie pulgar when you need him?! He can move up from city sticker design!

6/13/2017 08:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Midnite Ranger said...

As long as the front seats recline into a comfortable sleeping position I don't care what the design is.

6/13/2017 09:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger I Fart In Your General Direction said...
"Also, every design must include the four-digit identification number on both sides of the front quarter panels and on the back of the vehicles, he said in the memo."


There's no such thing as a "front quarter panel", STUPIDintendent.

They're called "fenders".

Even simpleton Homer Simpson would know this... regardless of the fact he suggested 'rack and peanut steering' on his spec car.

6/13/2017 12:50:00 AM

Sorry dumbass, but you are wrong. They are "front quarter panels", take your car into any body shop, they haven't been called "fenders" since the 70's when the cars were BLUE and whites!

6/13/2017 09:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Herbie "the city sticker" moron getting in on the action ?

6/13/2017 09:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shouldn't the Superintendent focus on crime and the high homicide rate rather than new colors for squads? Sounds like Milwaukee's mayor, who is obsessed with building his trolley that will run on tracks on a two mile loop downtown. He completely ignores the rising rate of shootings and homicides. Neither of them are capable of dealing with important issues so they occupy their time with simple things.
As an outsider my questions would be how much is this foolish, unnecessary change going to cost, and who is going to benefit financially?
On the other hand maybe a change in squad design is all it will take to bring the city together and stop the violence. Maybe it will turn out to be a stroke of genius! Yeah right.

6/13/2017 09:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clown car?

6/13/2017 09:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your fathers day gift is time due denied! the re-design of the patrol car like in the
re-design of the patrol officer

6/13/2017 09:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let Herbie (the kid that designed the city sticker) do it, if he's still alive!

6/13/2017 09:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This shows the complete lack of proper priorities and improper management of funds.
Most districts can barely keep enough printer paper in stock due to a very restrictive supply budget and most district desks have terribly used, abused and very uncomfortable desk chairs yet the department wants to waste resources on this?

Let me guess they'll create another unit for this and tuck even more officers away from working the street.

6/13/2017 09:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just apply some big Wal-Mart happy face stickers on the car and drive through the hoods passing out ice cream. Everyone will be happy and stop shooting/killing each other.

J.J.

6/13/2017 09:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I win does it mean I can get $1 off a hot dog?

6/13/2017 09:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

6/13/2017 09:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw this comment in an earlier topic.
I vote for his design.

6/11/2017 05:14:00 AM
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Who's going to submit a design for the new squad cars? I'm thinking rainbow flag down one side, black lives matter flag down the other side, Mexican flag on the trunk, and "We ♡ Black People" on the hood.

6/11/2017 05:24:00 AM

6/13/2017 09:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Every Squad car needs a cowbell and a speaker to allow you to announce, "Bring out your Dead!"

http://www.humortimes.com/5011/bring-out-your-dead/

6/13/2017 09:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw Mister Ed from 012 on Tv!

6/13/2017 09:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Machiavelli Wannabe said...

Using their existing design parameters, this "design the squad car" bullshit is nothing more than a devious diversion so that the double-crossing ballerina at City Hall via Fort Fellatio can claim that the unclouted peasant blue shirts have "input" in the "operations" of the CPD. The only thing left to do is "redesign" the current blue stripe on the side of the vehicle and finally remove that damn worthless C.A.P.S. logo nonsense.

They would never seek input from the rank-and-file on legitimizing their morale toxic patronage (clout-their life blood) and corrupt promotional process.

Think about the agenda and motive of these rat bastards and you'll come to the same conclusion.

6/13/2017 09:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's funny the IDIOT in charge of fleet management can't even order enough cars for the patrol division and the detective division. You have detectives driving Crown Vic's from 2003 with 195,000 miles on them Fusions with 200K on them, Hey News Media tools ask CPD what they spend a month at Enterprise Leasing for the cars for the evidence technicians and the Detective Div.

And this tool wants us to enter a coloring contest most of them aren't even CPD cars they're leased or they are the cars just being repainted

6/13/2017 09:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Friday, June 09, 2017
Di Leo: A City of Casualties – The Results of Rampant Crime


By John F. Di Leo -

In just the first five months of 2017, there were over 233 murders, and well over 1300 more victims of shootings who survived… in the city of Chicago alone. And almost every day, we see some alderman, mayor or police chief proudly saying that things are getting better – this statistic or that one is improving, so even though we need to get better, we should be happy that our “smart policing” is succeeding so well.

And yes, this is in a city of two and a half million people, in which the spokesmen know these statistics, so they know the city’s on track for over 3000 wounded or killed this year (and remember, not all the woundings get reported).

When there’s a terrorist attack overseas, we hear people like London Mayor Sadiq Khan saying that such dangers are now “part and parcel of living in a world class city,” and our politicians rightly ridicule such an apparently casual acceptance of such risks. But here in the states, we have politicians implying the same about non-terrorist violence – about the gang shootings, domestic abuse, robbery violence and such that makes up the bulk of these 3000 annual victims in Chicago alone.

Have we indeed reached the point at which such a level of violence is to be expected? Have we really?

http://illinoisreview.typepad.com/illinoisreview/2017/06/a-city-of-casualties-the-results-of-rampant-crime.html

6/13/2017 09:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BW9o6Fo2CrA/TzH6huOqi2I/AAAAAAAACJU/pM0rm2ig8Nk/s320/rahm%2B%252B%2Bgangbanger.jpg

I know someone who's up for the challenge!!!

6/13/2017 09:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The base color should be yellow. As yellow stripe Ed expects us to flee from confrontation. I also see that the "community" will be involved. Their suggestion will probably be unlockable doors. And finally how about a now door slogan? "Sorry we got her so late, but in reality, we just don't give a shit anymore"

6/13/2017 09:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why not just paint targets on the goddam vehicles?

That's the trouble with liberals--everything is a fashion statement with them.

A patrol vehicle is not a "designer accessory."

Here's what they should be discussing instead--Inclusion of:

* Remington 870 shotguns with vertical front-seat mounts
* Tactical patrol rifles in every trunk (based on the AR-15 platform)
* LED Alley lights
* More unmarked vehicles with full cages installed

. . . or you could just paint some flowers on the doors.

6/13/2017 10:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well since the shitheads are running the streets n killing each other just go with lil herbies hands sticker he made and call it a day yo.

6/13/2017 10:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about on supervisors cars it says merit or cheater that way you know What you are getting.

6/13/2017 10:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Instead of "we serve and protect" it needs to be changed to "we cater and pander to"

6/13/2017 10:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The hell with the paint job of the cars! How about just get us good operational cars and more of them. Anyone that wastes their time on this must be merit or hoping to be. Besides, isn't the city broke? Why spend all that money?

6/13/2017 10:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Driver carries no cash.

6/13/2017 10:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tint the windows and get some rims. A sound system too. No cage either...not necessary. Temporary tags a must....no light bar either, no purpose. spotlight please

LOL, an amp and a few 16 inch "woofers". The friendly residents might just start respecting us.

6/13/2017 10:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All those rules on color scheme and labeling are OK. But isn't the city low on money? How about leaving a lot of white space for stick on vinyl signs. There is quite a bit of money in product advertising. Give the cars a sort of urban NASCAR look.

6/13/2017 10:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think if something really bad happens (9/11 or Katrina) we totally fucked, we loose the city, and we on our own for 3 to 4 days. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck but I gots family here and my pension is tied to the city's success. Oh well, in 100 years we all dead so fuck it.

6/13/2017 12:26:00 AM

You're just starting to think that?

6/13/2017 10:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A pleasant, calming peace circle styled police car will made everyone feel good. It's about trust.
Special Ed has lost his mind.

The Dept will not ...WILL NOT spend millions to repaint the entire dilapidated fleet, and by the time they buy any new vehicles, even if only 100 to start, the added expense of any customized suburban-esque vinyl wrapping will put the cost beyond any pandering mayor will want to pay.
Now if my cousin can cut a deal...

- If I get my inspiration from watching "My Hooptie" by Sir Mix A Lot (1990), will that be considered insider 'coaching' ?

6/13/2017 11:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do I get assigned the "no fucks given" car? Awesome!!!!!

6/13/2017 11:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give the little shithead gangbanger pulgar a chance.

6/13/2017 11:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope Herbie Dilla doesn't win another rigged contest!

6/13/2017 11:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's some funny shit.

6/13/2017 12:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Barbara Gordon said...

I cleaned up crime in Gotham City and now I would like to employ my unique combination
of statistics and compassion to clean up the real "most crime ridden city" in the US, Chiraq.
Have Rahmicide the murder mayor contact me when he has had enough. In the meantime






Stay fetal

6/13/2017 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every Squad car needs a cowbell and a speaker to allow you to announce, "Bring out your Dead!"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GU0d8kpybVg
6/13/2017 01:41:00 AM

Fucking hysterical!! LMAO!!!

6/13/2017 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can Herbie enter?

6/13/2017 12:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Want to stop the animals they want to play lets play paint them and stripe them surprise thugs animals beware:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j0eJ0xB7LU

Threat eliminated easily, drive by shooting could you imagine the fear from the cowrads when they see this behind them? Bet crime would plummet!

Or maybe these for patrol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SShoU9_Urs

Heck we cannot even get this in our shit explorers like other departments:

Ford Explorer Interceptor Ballistics Level III Testing Features
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1bSG4iusas

Hey kevin another idea to protect law enforcement who protect us,and to think these vehicles are made right here in Chicago plants it would be easy to do this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STk_Os-2m8E

6/13/2017 01:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The current design just brings back to many bad memories for the local gentry. I suggest the words be designed with flowers and the car use a lot of pastels.

6/13/2017 01:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I long for the old blue and whites or even the all black car with white lettering.

6/13/2017 01:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Priceless Collection of Etruscan Snoods, Batman. Don't forget the Enterprise rent a car sticker on the back bumper.

6/13/2017 01:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take all the money we're wasting and gonna waste on this and put it in the pension fund and leave the cars alone.

6/13/2017 01:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm gonna have my 5 yr old Granddaughter get right on this...Although the squad car might look a little boxy when completed and some mispelled words, but, Mr. Ed will get the Jist of it all....

6/13/2017 02:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's the point if they are slowly replacing cars with rentals.

6/13/2017 02:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ed Johnson is a big-assed clown for this.

6/13/2017 02:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's a picture of WeeZee on front bumper crashing into a building

6/13/2017 02:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can we post these pics daily? I need something to do while I sit in the squad car all day

6/13/2017 02:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chicago Corpse Clean Up
You Tag 'Em, We Bag Them!

6/13/2017 02:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about the old "Rags n Old Iron"carts that were horse driven on the south side. Just add Dead Bodies onto the chant. Retired for a long time

6/13/2017 03:14:00 PM  
Blogger Mr.Grumpy said...

Rearranging the designs on the cars will do as much good as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Same results too.

6/13/2017 03:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's herbie pulgar when you need him...

6/13/2017 03:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do community members have to be involved in this? What a joke.

6/13/2017 03:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe a giant red clown nose on the front bumper? 🤡

6/13/2017 04:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ssc I want our future cpd squad car to look like the uss enterprise in star track, I want to be just like captain james b. kirk and go where no man has ever gone before oh I forgot I don't have clout , 9161 for ever ,"quick scotty, beam me up there is no intelligent life down here in HQ"

6/13/2017 04:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With all the shit CPD is dealing with right now, the brass is taking the time to redesign squad cars.

Not unlike the semi annual ritual of the Army coming up with new designs for its camouflage uniforms. Takes everybody's minds off the fact that our soldiers are targeted by the very people they are "training".

6/13/2017 04:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Winner will get the opportunity to drop a slip for a personal day.

6/13/2017 04:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://police-car-photos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/5556.jpg

6/13/2017 04:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All CPD vehicles should be pink in color..

6/13/2017 05:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about "SMART" cars 4 supervisor's!

6/13/2017 05:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Frank Rizzo said...

White cars are racist. They should be brown and black so folks arent scared. Or just have cops ride with the UPS vans. At least less of them will get robbed.

6/13/2017 05:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's start by sending in pics of the junks they make us drive now. Send in odometer pics first. Let's see who drives the car with the most miles. I bet we'll over 150K. Next the dented, peeling paint, wires all over the floorboard shit boxes. Or the proverbial steering wheel damage. Then the bald ass tires and duct taped mirrors.

6/13/2017 05:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why not try and get sponsored police vehicles with ads like some CTA El cars. I stopped by Moo and Oink and they said, "Put us down for two !" Dunkin Donuts volunteered to sponsor at least one in every district. FOP asked if they could donate Dean's old official ride after our Motor Maintenance does the 10k worth of repairs and paints it white. You're Welcome

6/13/2017 05:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the shit that's wrong with this city and this is what the superintendent of police comes up with? What a joke.

6/13/2017 06:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Instead of "we serve and protect" it needs to be changed to "we cater and pander to"

6/13/2017 10:11:00 AM

No ending a sentence with a preposition.

"We Cater And Pander To All".

6/13/2017 06:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about....Out of Service...across the side.

6/13/2017 06:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't just rearrange the decals on the cars.

6/13/2017 08:07:00 AM

The Chicago Police Department, seeking a fresh look for its patrol vehicles, is asking officers for proposals to redesign the layout of the words, images and colors on the outside of its newer cars.

"Squad Car Sticker Scramble Contest"

6/13/2017 06:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Blogger I Fart In Your General Direction said...
"Also, every design must include the four-digit identification number on both sides of the front quarter panels and on the back of the vehicles, he said in the memo."


There's no such thing as a "front quarter panel", STUPIDintendent.

They're called "fenders".

Even simpleton Homer Simpson would know this... regardless of the fact he suggested 'rack and peanut steering' on his spec car.

6/13/2017 12:50:00 AM

Sorry dumbass, but you are wrong. They are "front quarter panels", take your car into any body shop, they haven't been called "fenders" since the 70's when the cars were BLUE and whites!

6/13/2017 09:13:00 AM

I'm not a car guy, so I looked it up. Sorry dumbass, but YOU are wrong. Observe...

WIKIPEDIA says: A quarter panel (British English: rear wing) is the body panel (exterior surface) of an automobile between a rear door (or only door on each side for two-door models) and the trunk (boot) and typically wraps around the wheel well. The similar front section between the door and the hood (bonnet), is called a fender, but is sometimes incorrectly also referred to as a quarter panel. Quarter panels are typically made of sheet metal, but are sometimes made of fiberglass, carbon fiber, or fiber-reinforced plastic.

Furthermore...

Answers.Yahoo.com says:

Best Answer
On an automobile, a quarter panel (or rear wing in the case of a rear quarter-panel) is usually considered the body panel that covers the section between the rear door and the trunk; however, the front section (fender), between the door and wrapping around the hood, is sometimes incorrectly referred to as a quarter panel.

IFIYGD know what's what. And YOU need to stay outta grown folks' blog conversations, little girl. You're making yourself look stoopid spouting off about things you know nuthin' about.

6/13/2017 07:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about getting the fucking cars and computers first!

6/13/2017 07:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "No Fucks Given" car is the clear winner.

6/13/2017 07:23:00 PM  
Anonymous The Truth said...

I get the feeling that Special Ed is trolling this blog somehow with the Car Design Contest. That is the only logical reason for this shitshow. I mean, he can't be serious...

Can he?

6/13/2017 07:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If your body shop is in Chinatown they may call it a "front quarter panel". Dude they are fenders, have always been fenders, and will always be fenders. Supposebly or supposedly. Gainway or gangway?

6/13/2017 07:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The design previous to this was ugly and the present one needs to be updated to match the more modern, intelligent, progressive department.

6/13/2017 07:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Special says he can't help that the police board order the 4 officers back to work from Laquan incident. U sure didn't mind tiny dancer and his moron attorney Patton obstructing justice with the payoff and hiding a tape,they said they didn't watch. Eddie Johnson is an absolute IDIOT. Only people in the department that have any respect 4 the idiot,are the morons he has promoted with his Buddy Waller that can't even speak. Mumbling fools.

6/13/2017 08:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rearranging the designs on the cars will do as much good as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Same results too.

Good One What other ways can they think of to waste money we don't have

6/13/2017 08:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Should look like an

Ice cream truck with Herbie design

will all colors and flavors. Same for uniforms ice cream man.

It will more friendly! and pass out ice cream and donuts.

6/13/2017 08:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just slap Uber and Lyft stickers on the current design, all the money goes to the pension fund, officers get to keep the tips.

6/13/2017 08:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm starting to think if something really bad happens (9/11 or Katrina) we totally fucked, we loose the city, and we on our own for 3 to 4 days. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck but I gots family here and my pension is tied to the city's success. Oh well, in 100 years we all dead so fuck it.

6/13/2017 12:26:00 AM

Welcome to reality, better late than never my friend LOL

6/13/2017 08:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about "Bag'em N Tag'em" on the trunk lid. Not as good as the pic of Special with "Call My Cell!" But I'll settle for a "front quarter panel" Ha!

6/13/2017 08:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT - 2 stabbed at North Ave Beach

https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20170613/gold-coast/2-stabbed-near-north-avenue-beach-police-say

North Ave Beach? Really? This city is so fucking done.

Call the next case. Not a cop.

6/13/2017 08:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Attach a street sweeper to the front of the new cruisers.

6/13/2017 09:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe replace the siren on the new squad car with ice cream truck megaphone.

6/13/2017 09:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about front ejector seats? Shit is getting scary in Chi-Raq.

6/13/2017 10:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Side windows should have 3" thick plexiglass with a spindle. Just in case a citizen request a report? Now pull my finger...

6/13/2017 10:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a dildo for an antenna?

6/13/2017 10:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not a cop : will this effect the blacked out suburban that sits on my block every night?

6/13/2017 11:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's my design idea: leave the cars the fuck alone and use that money for our pensions and the piddly raise we'll get from the next shitty contract. Who has the contract for the decals on the newly designed cars? Smoke and mirrors and corrupt financial deals. That's all this is. Anyone who submits an idea that costs a penny more than what we currently have is a piece of shit. I'm sure there will be some bullshit award for the winning design. I'm sure the CAPS offices are all excited and brainstorming to come up with a winner. If only we could focus on something that actually matters. Manpower issues, lack of cars to actually apply new designs to, police being targeted for attacks, which could damage the pretty new stickers on the cars, violent crimes spreading deeper and deeper into previously safe areas of the city. Nope, let's have a fucking coloring contest. Eat shit Eddie, you fat, useless, pandering fuck.

6/13/2017 11:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I told union reps 12+ years ago....let s put sponsors decals on every auto. Just like the pro racers do. Tide, coke, Kotex, cherrios, rap music, TV.....these vehicles are constantly driven. Have the sponsors money go into the pension fund. They laughed. 🤔

6/13/2017 11:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm gonna have my 5 yr old Granddaughter get right on this...Although the squad car might look a little boxy when completed and some mispelled words, but, Mr. Ed will get the Jist of it all....

6/13/2017 02:00:00 PM

If she misspells enough words, he'll think he submitted it... or maybe one of his totally legit lieutenants or commands staff members.

6/13/2017 11:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now where is that scamp Herbie Pulgar when you need him?

6/14/2017 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Instead of "we serve and protect" it needs to be changed to "we cater and pander to"

6/13/2017 10:11:00 AM

No ending a sentence with a preposition.

"We Cater And Pander To All".
6/13/2017 06:36:00 PM

A simple 'We Cater and Pander' will do.

6/14/2017 12:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If a street or stretch of highway can be adopted, how about a squad car? The adopting person, persons or entity will be allowed to place their logo on the outside of both rear doors plus a double sided ad placard 18" tall and 24" wide placed upright in a vertical position as opposed to the front and rear windows with their ad and "Beat XXXX sponsored by Budweiser or Beat ???? sponsored by Drunk'n Donuts and so on. And, they can purchase any SUV for the beat they are sponsoring! I'll take a Lexus!

6/14/2017 01:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we should let the community and blm decide which design should fit cpd vehicles..

Uhh... That's actually the plan. After 5 final designs are approved by Ed, the community will pick.

My goodness, we are being run by idiots at HQ.

6/14/2017 06:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Need something that'll turn out to be a gang-symbol like that City Sticker fiasco...

6/14/2017 07:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paint the new squads like the NASCAR'S. Have Tide, Marlboro and Budweiser sponsor the squads.♠️

6/14/2017 07:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Jesse White said...

Maybe Special Ed can obtain the assistance of the dipshits at the Secretary of State's office who designed (don't bother with that moron Jesse "Hey, how about my tumblers" White - he hasn't been seen in an office since the last election) the new Illinois license plates.

Just think of the savings. With the design those goofs are likely to come up with, you can go fetal and never pull out of the district parking lot. Such a perfect camouflage job, the sergeant won't be able to see your car sitting in plain sight, much like the first one or two digits/characters on the plates.

While on the subject, I want to protest Jesse's use of the new plate to get his name out in front of his constituency: I mean, most of the new plates seem to be starting with "A H" Subtle, Jesse, but you're fooling no one!

6/14/2017 07:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since we are friends with Russia maybe we could borrow a couple of these, ultimate patrol vehicle bet the animals would behave:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/727048/Russian-military-Vladimir-Putin-Night-Hunter-helicopter-gunship-Apache

This would be "change we would believe in"

6/14/2017 08:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blue & White with a star on the door and a single blue light on top !

6/14/2017 09:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are currently serving other citizens. Please wait for the next available officer to assist you. Your call is important to us. The current wait time is ___ hours.

6/14/2017 09:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Before mayor thief raises property taxes again Make teachers contribute 9% into pension fund like all other city employees .

6/14/2017 09:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder who has the contract to redecorate squad cars?

6/14/2017 11:42:00 AM  
Anonymous MrHan said...

I want transparency! Who selects the district finalists? Who gets to be on that panel? Call your clout? What qualifies Special Ed to pick a winning design? There are questions that need answers.

6/14/2017 12:09:00 PM  
Blogger JAFO said...

Why do I think that if someone enters the weinermobile in the contest, Johnson and RAHM would have a hard time fighting off their real feelings for blue shirts.

" Whataya think ,Ed ...would the com-yoonty love it ?? "

6/14/2017 03:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck you Rahm and your phony emotion regarding the shooting in Virginia and your lauding of the police officers who were wounded, but managed to down the offender and save many lives in the process. You are a prime piece of shit and you would fuck with the officer's health insurance and pensions if they worked here. I so look forward to voting you out of office.

6/14/2017 05:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the 2017 FORD Police Calendar, a free supplement from Police Magazine.

It features the a dozen police departments big and small in photos with their Ford vehicles. Departments like ours, NYPD, Metropolitan Las Vegas, Castle Rock Colorado, Santa Fe County Sheriff and Ontario Provincial Police and more.

Nice pictures for the most part. NYPD cars are against the city skyline, CPD cars at Navy Pier with police boats in the background.

Odd thing is that the two biggest departments do not have officers posing with the police cars.

6/14/2017 06:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a photo of Rahm, Dart, and Fox on the rear door saying, " No Responsibilities, No Consequences, No Worries". If it was on a smart car then add "no room" ahead of "no worries" and squeeze it in on the quarter panel.

6/14/2017 08:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Blue & White with a star on the door and a single blue light on top !

6/14/2017 09:01:00 AM

Old School CPD livery is a symbol of authoritarian,
take-no-shit, ass-kicking/head-knocking/eye-slapping
patriarchy and will trigger the old liberal snowflakes
and cause the young ones to demand to be wheeled off
to their safe space.

Now is not yet the time to bring that honored
color scheme...

Dark Gray slick-top with hidden lighting
and subdued markings.

Much lower profile/visibility.

These aren't the times for
Policemen or their vehicles to stand out either.

6/14/2017 09:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

welcome to Chicago were criminals are embraced and their victim and the police are emasculated, brought to you by Satan and his disciples.

6/15/2017 06:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a dildo for an antenna?

6/13/2017 10:25:00 PM


> you pulling yours out your ass to donate?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's my design idea: leave the cars the fuck alone and use that money for our pensions and the piddly raise we'll get from the next shitty contract. Who has the contract for the decals on the newly designed cars? Smoke and mirrors and corrupt financial deals. That's all this is. Anyone who submits an idea that costs a penny more than what we currently have is a piece of shit. I'm sure there will be some bullshit award for the winning design. I'm sure the CAPS offices are all excited and brainstorming to come up with a winner. If only we could focus on something that actually matters. Manpower issues, lack of cars to actually apply new designs to, police being targeted for attacks, which could damage the pretty new stickers on the cars, violent crimes spreading deeper and deeper into previously safe areas of the city. Nope, let's have a fucking coloring contest. Eat shit Eddie, you fat, useless, pandering fuck.

6/13/2017 11:24:00 PM

> first off asshole, nobody's "focusing" on the new design. We can do more than one thing at a time. You're the one focusing on it.
Second, if that's your focus then you're probably more of a fat useless Fuck than anyone. Go back to your trailer, have a beer and keep being useless.

6/16/2017 04:22:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Newer Posts.......................... ..........................Older Posts