We Need a Laugh Track

Can you believe this shit?

• Some Streeterville residents, along with elected leaders, say they think the number of ambulances traveling through the downtown neighborhood is rising, as is the siren volume — and they want the Fire Department to do something about it.
  
  "There are some evenings where, and I'm not exaggerating, an ambulance can come by every six minutes," resident Vicki Loevy said at a Thursday night community meeting about emergency sirens in the neighborhood.

This is an actual complaint from people who:

• live in a dangerous city;
• vote for politicians who allow danger to flourish;
• chose to live in an area with multiple hospitals

The CFD mouthpiece points out that the sirens are regulated by Federal and State law:

• "We're even louder than New York City," Hopkins said before the meeting, adding: "And the question you have to ask is why is that necessary? What do you get from a louder siren?"
  
  At least one resident voiced that concern during the meeting, but Langford told the group that Fire Department emergency vehicle sirens are at the same volume as those in New York City's Fire Department.
  
  Siren volumes on fire department ambulances and emergency vehicles are locked by the manufacturer — meaning that drivers can only turn them on and off — and meet federal regulations, Langford said. Lowering the volume, as some requested, is not a legal option, he told the group.
  
  "We cannot modify that siren," said Langford, adding that he has researched the topic for several years. "If we modify that siren, we are open to liability. Now we're in violation of state law and federal law."

And the city certainly doesn't need any more liability.