Nice Lagoon Groot (UPDATE)
Not only are the rats overrunning the alleys and neighborhoods, the reptiles are attempting to claim their rightful place at the top of the food chain:
- Chicago officials confirmed an alligator was living in Humboldt Park Lagoon after several people reported seeing the animal there Tuesday morning and others shared photos of it.
Chicago police were called to the 1400 block of North Humboldt Drive about 12:15 p.m. after someone called 911 “saying they saw a Facebook post saying there is an alligator in the lagoon area,” said Chicago police spokeswoman Karie James.
Police had “independently confirmed the alligator is in the lagoon and state reptile specialists" said it was 4 to 5 feet long, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said in a tweet. The animal was expected to be trapped Tuesday night “and relocated to a zoo for veterinary evaluation.”
This is an amusing twist on the stories we grew up with when a certain copper from 014 (whom we shall not name), used to release piranhas into the Humboldt Park lagoon on an annual basis. The poor creatures never managed to survive the winters however, to his everlasting regret.
UPDATE: Late word that this is an unauthorized pilot program started by none other than 025's pride and joy, commander Escamerit. We had no idea. Carry on.
UPDATE: Late word that this is an unauthorized pilot program started by none other than 025's pride and joy, commander Escamerit. We had no idea. Carry on.
Labels: silly people
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
106 Comments:
I'll bet 100 bucks that hipsters blame the alligator on maga wearing supporters from Alabama. They will twist it into a smollette style hate crime.
Officer Dr. Z?
LAST thing i would worry about in that hood is a baby croc. the alley gators are much worse.
Too bad there is only one alligator in the Lagoon.
Imagine if there were 100 or 1000?
Besides keeping track of shootings on the weekend, there could also be a count for eatings.
6 people shot and killed over the weekend, 50 wounded and 10 eaten alive by alligators.
Sounds just about right for Chicago.
Meh... poor creature is waiting for asshole to toss in a few body parts— I mean, seriously. Wasn’t it the case the a few bodies have been tossed in there in recent years
Let's face it. Someone took an action to solve a gang violence in Chicago. The place of a drop is not a coincidence. We should expect wolfes in Roseland, tigers in Garfield and poisonous snakes in Englewood.
I am protesting removing the reptile from the lagoon.
There is a rumor ( lol) its existence has been City Hall approved.
Best!
E.B.
Speaking of dumb reptiles, Escamerit just cost the tax payers another boatload of cash. But unlike his Adventures in Babysitting scandal, where he outright stole money from the citizens, this time it had more to do with his notorious incompetence and vindictive nature.
An arbitrator ruled in favor of a P.O. whom Escamerit had sent to another district after a dispute with a Sgt. The problem is the Sgt bid out of 025 only a month after the officer got detailed to 015 and dumb fuck Escamerit thought it would be a good idea to put a brick on the copper and not bring him back. Now the city will have to pay the P.O. time and a half for the three years and six months he has been wrongly detailed out of 025.
This is almost getting comical how bad of a fuckup Escamerit continues to be. I'm not sure what time and a half will come to for 3 plus years, but it will be a hell of a lot of coin. Why should Tony care though? It's not coming out of his pocket. Just from the tax payers of crook county Illinois.
Good. I've been looking for the perfect place to dispose of that body in my car trunk. Plus, the gator will get a nice tastey snack since they don't mind eating carrion.
People, people, Global Warming isn't here yet.
You can bring the alligators after it warms up.
Rip Torn is dead. Killed by an alligator in Chicago.
OT: cant recall seeing anyone post this tidbit:
GROOT is also the name of a solid waste management company. She's so full of trash, this is a perfect nickname. Sadly for the Groot compsny and character, this is perfect!)
Rumor has it, she's dumpster diving for ideas.
That gator is to be reckoned with!!! See you later.......
Police had “independently confirmed the alligator is in the lagoon and state reptile specialists" said it was 4 to 5 feet long, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said in a tweet. The animal was expected to be trapped Tuesday night “and relocated to a zoo for veterinary evaluation.”
The rumor of the day is spokesperson Antnee Googleye tweeted a photo of a weapon allegedly owned by the alligator...
Alligators in Humbolt lagoon
Sharks in city hall
Drain the swamp(s)
Big foot in the lagoon
Lightfoot in the hall
The only thing Trump is guilty of is trying to Make America Great Again!
Go to Hell all you Rinos
Lausch who conspired to get Lori Leftfeet elected
God I hate this city I’m not a cop
I live in 8
Trump is my president
Screw the dummyrats and all the mouth berthing liberal dragons arrrrrrrrrrr
How is a gator in the lagoon a CPD matter?
Send Ed out to wrestle it.
That's good eatin'.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
So you'll spend a few thousand dollars trapping and treating it. More presumably transporting it somewhere. why not just leave it alone
wildgroot is well aware of the city's rat problem. ordered release of zoo animals to feed themselves. the unintended consequences will be addressed on case by case basis.
wildgroot was shocked to learn the daily upkeep to board dangerous predictors far exceeded the cost of the little village branch facility.
wildgroot is well aware of the city's rat problem. ordered release of zoo animals to feed themselves. the unintended consequences will be addressed on case by case basis.
wildgroot was shocked to learn the daily upkeep to board dangerous predictors far exceeded the cost of the little village branch facility.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Rip Torn is dead. Killed by an alligator in Chicago.
7/10/2019 03:12:00 AM
RIP Rip.
New lotto game in 701, pick date when ReRun and Cindy shame get dumped
I love it when mass Transit Secretary rats out Sgts to her girlfriend the commander
It’s name is Alligator Ocasio Cortez
In the picture that I saw, the critter had yellow around the eyes and parts of the face, like the paint is dissolving from the plastic or rubber body? Maybe it’s lead in the water?
ssc please print confirmed
the tempe police officers asked to leave starbucks last week are also iraq n afgan veterans
hey howard schultz (ceo) a big f-ckyou
The ghost of Gator Bradley?
And my rubber stamp statement to OPS
Not only do I deny the allegation..I deny the alligator!
Who opened their mouth? Another year or two and he'd be big enough to get rid of some unwanted things.
The city will shortly be flooded with gators brought in from Indiana where you can buy them, like guns, with a Library card.
It appears a reptile expert named 'Alligator Bob" is on the case. I see in the news clip he is wearing a life jacket when he should be wearing a bullet proof vest. I bet it was some dope dealers little pet that just got too big for his crib.
After being captured, Cook County Judge David Navarro released the gator on his own recognizance.
This Alligator in the Humboldt Park Lagoon is *obviously* President Trump's Fault. Or... it's due to Racist Poverty.
Mayor Lightspeed hasn't decided which scenario to go with as of yet.
What's one more dangerous critter in the community? Not like they don't already have a bunch of upright walking dangerous critters stalking in and around the area......
Speaking of which......when you think wildings can't get any worse? Check out the FoxNews video of the "community youths" in a
Philadelphia Walgreens......parents must be SO proud.....
I think a couple bodies were dumped in that lagoon back in the good old days. Is dr. Z my old voodoo buddy?
Troy Landry arrived in Chicago and was asked about the lagoon gator being relocated to a zoo. He said, "Zoo? Only if that's what you call my fry kettle! Choot 'em!"
Ain’t that gator got no rights?
He ain’t dun nuffins.
He just chillin minding his own bidness.
Try moving or eradicating the homeless population in the middle of the night.
Way-waah-waaaah.
Speaking of getting rid of do nuffins, out of place and unaccomplished happenstance settlers:
It will take at least 9 months to finally relocate the lamenting pandering panda at HQ and a little more than 3-1/2 hrs to get rid of the jeremiah bullfrog in City Hall.
I remember when Mayor Harold Washington was complaining about rumors being spread and he said;
"We will find out who the ALLIGATORS are"
"Good. I've been looking for the perfect place to dispose of that body in my car trunk. Plus, the gator will get a nice tastey snack since they don't mind eating carrion."
I won't buy Nike shoes, but I'm going to order Alligator boots.
After they catch it Foxx will more than likely let it go....
Alligroot?
Solid waste......
As in feces or inorganic compounds that don't decompose?
Are you talking about septic tanks?
Folks, whenever you see a majestic, multi-million dollar home
in the middle of nowhere, it has a septic tank. You must truck
in drinking water, use generators for electricity.
Still want to envy those people?
Groot was founded in 1914; 105 years old.
Privately owned.
Trash is where the money's at. You born, you live, you die.
Between the 'dash' you make trash. Money, money, happy smiles.
I know alligators, sir. And you are no alligator!
These gators are turning up in every American city.
Assholes raise them as pets. No such thing as a
miniature gator. Backwoods fast food: fried gator tenders.
Time to call in the cast of "Swamp People" to get the job done, then appoint them to positions within the cpd and city council...
This is actually a pilot program by a certain North Side police command member. Moats will be installed around certain areas of the city. The moats will be stocked with alligators, crocodiles and hippos (the most dangerous animal in the world. People will be vetted and those that pass the background check will be able to cross the moats on drawbridges and enter say Lincoln Park or the Gold Coast. Other will have to swim for it.
You know the 'shrooms are kicking in when gators
ask you to change the cable channel.
My barbershop has a patio and makes a killing giving the
reptiles the hot towel treatment. They come in groups on
Access, lie on their backs, then get the barnacles shaved
off their bellies. Barber says they are great tippers and buy
lots of Von Dutch T-Shirts.
That Gator is actually Commander Joe Curtin who snuck out of his grave for better accommodations.
Gators are mighty tasty.
Damn alligator walked right up to me, and said "I just need tree-fiddy".
Just give the alligator his property tax bill. He'll leave voluntarily.
SCC, this isn't about me or my pet gator that I named 'Washington.' This is about what we as a whole can do as a department for other alligators just like him. What's that you ask? Paperwork and records of my alligator babysitting study? To be honest with you most of it was mental note taking. To my understanding it was a mutually beneficial collaboration between my alligator and the officers assigned to the CAPS office. None of them came to me with any complaints. Even after one of them lost a foot while feeding Washington and another got his arm bitten off while cleaning his tail.
Escaped From Rhams moat.
Doesn't CPD have a LCAC or a LAV25?? Shouldn't SWAT have a Los Angeles class sub to deploy from??
Is that the same lagoon Jeffery Dahmer dispose of leftovers.
(OT) fat spoiled billionaire rich boy says what:
Pritzker calls Confederate flag ‘symbol of murder, of kidnapping, of rape’ after concert cancellation
https://chicago.suntimes.com/politics/2019/7/10/20689176/pritzker-confederate-railroad-flag-band-duqoin-state-fair
And the symbol for violence with rap “fuck the police” the rapist like r Kelly people’s/folks like that be ok? No wonder we are fleeing this corruption filled shitshow state so rapidly!!
The gator will be trapped by this evening, and out on a I-Bond by Wednesday am.
Alligators live awhile...maybe left over from Capone era.
Sounds like something out of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Why do some many posters feel they have to try and come up with a funny nickname for those that already have funny nicknames? Some of them are actually kinda of stupid.
...spokesperson Antnee Googleye tweeted a photo...
Can't we just agree on the funnier ones and stop trying to come up with new ones?
somebody shoot the damned thing - the state doesn't have the money to waste.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Alligators in Humbolt lagoon
Sharks in city hall
Drain the swamp(s)
No....wait until City Hall is Full Up.
Call in an Airstrike from Orbit....its the only way to be sure.
The lagoons level would rise to flood levels if Jelly Belly went in.
https://www.chicagotribune.com/politics/ct-pritzker-alligator-lightfoot-trump-ice-raids-deport-wednesday-spin-20190710-eyf3q3wdyffmnojx63czugv24e-story.html
I worked 004 in the early 90's [a reprieve from 8 years in 002] and got a call of an alligator in a Jeffery Manors backyard. Sure enough, about a 3 & 1/2 footer and a dozen kids in a wide circle watching the creature. I notified animal control, and much to my surprise, I got an answer and they said they would be there in 20-25 minutes. Then went to the alley, grabbed a large, stout, garbage drum and scooped it up head first, turned it upside down in one quick move, and voila!: Problem solved! Told the fattest kid in the group to sit on the can until animal control showed up, coded the job, and went on my merry way.
Yeah, it could have had a bad ending by me leaving the fat kid in charge, but I was still in a 2nd District mindset, where nothing was ever the norm.
That gator wasn’t anyone’s pet.
Cartels and biker gangs have kept them as on site security.
This one just got too big to manage so they dumped it.
White biker gang in 011 kept one to scare their neighbors years ago.
Name the Alligator:
1) Lagoona
2) Humboldt
3) Hongry
4) Belt
5) Boots
6) Alligoona
7) Chigoona
8) Chiboldt
9) Crocago
10) Chigator
OT is it just me or does anyone else find the US women’s soccer team completely obnoxious
LL said "All are welcome in our sanctuary city. I have officially ended the lagoon gator hunt. The gator is welcome here. We are going to give him free healthcare and free college tuition and a city job in our immigration and tourism department. Also, he will be encouraged to complete a voter registration card and identify as a Democrat."
Just in time for taste of chicago!!! Gator kabobs for all.
Drain the swamp
Hard hat! hard hat!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
somebody shoot the damned thing - the state doesn't have the money to waste.
7/10/2019 03:10:00 PM
Oh come on, that gator's an honor roll student and aspiring rapper. He's turning his life around.
“Gator” Bradley was never snared.This gator in the lagoon must be a G-D.
Call Cracidile Dundee !!!!
The biggest reptiles are in city hall....
I wonder if Dahmer was stupid enough to use the
garbage disposal in the sink?
Me, I would have encased the parts in cheap ground
beef, froze them, then strategically scattered them about
at night BEFORE a predicted massive snow storm of at
least 8 to 10 inches. You got rats, squirrels, mice, cats,
ect. that would nibble once a thaw set in. NO human tracks,
just animal tracks. Plus you got the dragging aspect of
bringing the food back to the pack. Confuses the fuck out
of the Feds. And the mixing of human/animal DNA would
make the lab supervisor ask Fred if he fell off the wagon.
BTW, has Groot had her nervous breakdown yet?
Maybe small signs of deterioration? You know the
fucking minions are watching. Groot's Minions.
Sounds like something that could be fixed by a
podiatrist.
Can't we just agree on the funnier ones and stop trying to come up with new ones?
7/10/2019 02:59:00 PM
It is human nature. It is one of those "You say tow-mah-toe, I say tow-may-toe" kind of things.
Off topic but the First Deputy is upset that people are posting on the blog about him.
One way to get rid of the bodies.
I love this
ALM=alligators lives matter. Que the marchers and start making the signs.
sorry but this shit cracks me up'
That gator will be there a long time. Tons of food at the bottom via human body parts. Leg of Larry, side of Sally, etc.
It's Gator Bradley taking a swim no sweat no worries. Sup! Ma fucka
Alligators lives matter!
7:56PM......
Who the fuck is the first deputy?
I honestly stopped remembering at Dana Starks.
Don’t know, don’t give a fuck.
Dibs on size 11 shoes.
OT is it just me or does anyone else find the US women’s soccer team completely obnoxious
7/10/2019 05:33:00 PM
It is not just you. They are all very obnoxious, but Megan Rapinoe is obnoxious and a half.
I don’t even know who the first deputy is. Hahahaha
What a joke of a department !
Yeah, it could have had a bad ending by me leaving the fat kid in charge, but I was still in a 2nd District mindset, where nothing was ever the norm.
7/10/2019 04:49:00 PM
It did have a bad ending. Ever since that day the fat kid has been known as Lefty.
Perhaps Mr. Gator was visiting his relative, that fine upstanding citizen Wallace "Gator" Bradley.
Choot Em Choot Em!!!
I remember when Mayor Harold Washington was complaining about rumors being spread and he said;
"We will find out who the ALLIGATORS are"
7/10/2019 10:00:00 AM
That was Old Man Daley Not Harold Harold was fairly articulate.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OT is it just me or does anyone else find the US women’s soccer team completely obnoxious
7/10/2019 05:33:00 PM
They are wqlk8ng human excrement, on steroids.
I wish they'd go away and stfu. They are an embarassment. Shame on 5hem qnd any news outlet giving them their trashy platform.
That gator is probably the safest thing in Humboldt Park.
Chicago is a swamp, gators live in swamps. Whats the big deal?
Why is the communist POS mayor called Groot again?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Call Cracidile Dundee !!!!
7/10/2019 06:58:00 PM
Call Sylvan Learning Center.
Would rather have crime-fighting alligators than scooters. Let it be.
Gator Bob is going to get chewed on by "EL PINCHO" the gator and some copper is going to get stuck doing the hospitalization case report. We're going to need a bigger boat, here's to swimmin with bow legged women.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just give the alligator his property tax bill. He'll leave voluntarily.
7/10/2019 12:34:00 PM
+1
I wonder how many people in the area have called in alligator sightings that were actually large rats, opossums, racoons or a feral dog? All you have to do is say you saw a black helicopter, or, in this case, a gator, sorry Bradley, not you, I've seen you in the past, and the spottings of whatever increase exponentially.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OT is it just me or does anyone else find the US women’s soccer team completely obnoxious
7/10/2019 05:33:00 PM
It is not just you. They are all very obnoxious, but Megan Rapinoe is obnoxious and a half.
7/10/2019 11:07:00 PM
Look on the bright side. They just peaked. Everything is downhill for them from now on.
I heard they are sending the marine unit dive team with special tranquilizer spearguns...
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