ISP on High Alert
All of the sudden, the Illinois governor WANTS border security?
- After hearing about the size of the average American, Haitian
cannibal gangs rushed the southern border near El Paso this week in a
race to be first in line for the smorgasbord.
"Hey man, look at dat," Haitian cannibal and political leader Barbecue said. "Those are some chunky, chubby, rolly polly people coming at me. Hang on, let me grab my bib and steak knives. It's lunchtime!"
After reports surfaced of Haitian gang members cannibalizing their victims, coup leader Barbecue announced he would be taking his men across the U.S. border to find a more plentiful source of food. With a nearly 30 percent overall obesity rate among adults, experts believe the U.S. is poised to be a prime destination for those wishing to dine on human flesh.
Texas Governor Abbott has promised to bus any and all Haitians to Illinois for some of that "corn fed governor."
Florida Governor DeSantis reported police in his state stopped a boatload of Haitians carrying drugs, guns, night vision goggles and about thirty cases of barbecue sauces:
- A vessel from Haiti was intercepted two weeks ago with 25 refugees aboard, DeSantis said during a news conference in Winter Haven on Friday.
DeSantis supposedly shipped their boat north along with a detailed map of Chicago harbors and beaches.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:07 AM
64 Comments:
If they plan on using an oversize rotisserie spit to cook Jelly-Belly Pritzker, they better be prepared to wait 40 plus hours while the fat bastard cooks.
Sorry O.T.:
Does anyone know if this Social Security Fairness act for Law Enforcement officers has a chance of being passed?
It has enough co-sponsors in the House and Senate.
Friday National FOP Update:
https://simplebooklet.com/M34pBHXHfw5Se8qolBaB2N?source=forum#page=9
I hope the map shows the restaurant on the shores of Lake Geneva in Williams Bay where Gov Fat Ass has been known to dine.
Guess they heard Lowry's Prime Rib serves up delicious Chicagoans with a side of fries.
Well this is certainly not the news I wanted to hear.
I’m soft, doughy, pushing 3 bills and move at the speed of erosion. In other words, I’m a cannibals wet dream.
I'm very chewy and salty. Please eat someone else.
Along with a buffet sized governor, Chicago is likely to have some lip smacking union bosses too! YUMMY!!
If we can’t get rid of these Demonrats thru the election process maybe the cannibal gangs could solve the problem.
To bad they will get let right out of jail because of fatheads no cash bail system.
Thanks for the laugh. Sometimes with this bs we need that. However, the rest……,
C'mon over here fuckers. Moonshiners got a cure for that.
Read “Camp of the Saints” by Jean Raspail.
Would you like fries with that thigh?
"...One eyed one horned flying purple people eater..."
when they block the streets in Chicago the mayor wants them protected. When they block the highway near just about any suburb they get arrested,. Go figure
OMG, when my Haitian neighbor said he wanted a Big Boy I always thought he meant the hamburger.
Pritzker better watch out. I doubt he can run very fast. They may not like his meat anyway. It’s mostly fat
A cannibal ate a comedian. Said he tasted funny.
SCC, do these Very Southern Francophones only Eat
Their Own Dead?
Or are they like Liberals and Eat Everyone Alive?
Metro Sanitary District has been testing Human Scat at transfer
stations before it's broken down to badly by distance from
source. DOD funding project to determine pathogen vectors and diets
among other things.
Just checking to see when a population starts increasing its Human Guacamole intake.
The Aztecs and Incas were Infamous for Protein Rich Guaco.
Like the songs says..."When You Own a Big Chunk of the Bloody 3rd World, the Guaco Babies
are more than just Scenery"
Clinton Initiative Keeps Paying Inverse Dividends, Bosnia, Ruby Ridge, Waco, 93 World Trade, Mogadishu, Haiti, Benghazi, Ukraine...
Is this a joke?
Tough luck for them, he literally eats cannibals for breakfast.
So it appears that these Haitians are descendants of Idi Amin.
Come on, baby, eat the rich
Bite down on the son of a bitch
Don't mess around, don't you give me no switch
Come on, baby, and eat the rich
Come on, baby, and eat the rich
Sittin' here in a hired tuxedo
You wanna see my bacon torpedo
Lemme (RIP)
Gonnatake a week low and slow to render that lard out.
Everything full circle.
The history is murky, but it is generally accepted that Jean Baptiste Point du Sable was originally from Haiti.
Great laugh to start the morning. ON A SERIOUS NOTE, HERE WE HAVE A COUNTRY OF 11 MILLION PLEOPLE IN TOTAL ANARCHY. Did I mention that Haiti is only a few days' boat ride from the United States. That's all we need now, thousands of immigrants from another shithole country. Even their neighbor (Dominican Republic on the eastside of the island) closed their border! This has DISASTER written all over, and more American money wasted.
Send all,Illinois politicians that want sanctuary status to Haiti for a field trip. Bath them in meat tenderizer before the trip.
Protect yourself! Register as a Democrat and they will know you are rotten inside.
I bet fat fuck could feed that entire Island for a week.
Babylon Bee is the best!!
One of the Rockefellers actually got eaten in Papua New Guinea back in the early 60s by the cannibals. He was pillaging the tribes for artifacts for the family museum. His boat sunk and he swam ashore and the natives stabbed him to death and ate him. They recovered a thigh bone that was made into a dagger. True story So if we can get fatty on a rickety boat in New Guinea we would have a chance.
Stay away from the sausage
No sausage
When I first read the post I thought WTF. Has the world gone totally insane? This has to be Babylon Bee article. A great relief when I found out that it was.
But don't get too relaxed. Today's Babylon Bee satire often turns into tomorrow's eerily accurate headlines.
Anonymous said...
Read “Camp of the Saints” by Jean Raspail.
3/16/2024 06:48:00 AM
I bought that book about a decade ago. It’s become even more controversial since. I just went to Amazon and the version I bought is shown but with price of hundreds of dollars for paperback and over 1000 for hardcover. I don’t know if that’s valid. But if anybody wants it the company I bought it from was called “The social Contract Press” from Petoskey Mi. I’m sure I didn’t buy directly from them but maybe Amazon has stopped offering it due to their woke employees.
Maybe Granny clampett can send some of those weed eating rats to fend off BBQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmrq_-Baglg
Sorry to steer you wrong. Amazon lists the book “Camp of the Saints” as out of print so the high prices are probably for private sellers. I just went to Social Contract website and they say:
“Note: The Social Contract no longer publishes the book The Camp of the Saints.
We do not know of another publisher of this book in English.”
Just can’t give this up, The Camp of the Saints fits our times so well. I’ve never used this, but there appears to be a way to read online for free and this is the edition that came from the Social Contract Press a few years ago.
https://archive.org/details/campofsaints0000rasp/page/352/mode/2up
https://www.amazon.com/Savage-Harvest-Cannibals-Colonialism-Rockefellers/dp/0062116150
Here is that book. Good book. Sure the consumed was a nice kid. Just didn’t know he was at risk living among cannibals
Forget about Haiti what’s going on right here in our city with the Sgt, Lt, and Captains contract? Is anything going to change with the medical?
DeSantis supposedly shipped their boat north along with a detailed map of Chicago harbors and beaches.
Well, that does it.
I ain't voting for that sanctamoankneeous puffer fish.
Blogger Mr. SouthSide said...
"...One eyed one horned flying purple people eater..."
3/16/2024 07:59:00 AM
There’s a blast from the past. I assume you were a 70’s baby?
Haiti is an absolute sewer. I flew relief supplies in after the earth quake in 2010. Smoke from funeral pyres obscuring the runway at Port au Prince. Defecating in cardboard boxes in the airport terminal, no water, homeless everywhere. The Haitian Air Traffic Control was overwhelmed to the point of an Eastern European relief flight threatening to ditch if he couldn't get immediate landing clearance. Apparently nothing important has been fixed since that time. NO ONE from Haiti should be allowed to enter this country. The Dominican Rep. shares the same island. You can physically see the border line from the air, as everything on the Haitian side is devistated.
On a positive note, Pritzker probably is well marbled...
I dunno.... with all the vegans & soyboys in Chicago, a cannibal might be sorely disappointed & consequently starve to death, thus becoming a cannibal corpse. (the metalheads amongst us will get the reference).
A little off topic scc. Back when Blagojevich was governor there was a big deal about the little rascal flying to Springfield every day. I think those planes got sold. I think it was patty commissioned a remodel of the mansion. I think rauner stayed in Chicago ,and gigantor spends his time on Astor st and lake Geneva and Florida. So we have an empty mansion ? How many Haitians would it hold ? Does it have a BBQ? Giant fridge for case of BBQ sauce ? Funny our intrepid reporters never ask these questions ?
Completely off topic
There was a great little fundraiser that was put together quickly for Light The Line (Ella French) and Ignite the Spirit (CFD). It was a 3 on 3 hockey jamboree made up almost exclusively of CPD children. Ms. French is an incredibly strong woman whose goal is to continue to look out for us. They have some great ideas and it is worth a look.
https://lighttheline.org/
Q: Does this mean that a holiday in Haiti will now cost an arm and a leg?
A: Not for the seasoned traveller.
Mike in Canada
So if we can get fatty on a rickety boat in New Guinea we would have a chance.
A rickety boat won't work. Need a good barge.
As winter slips gracefully into spring, as the trees begin to bud, the creatures of nature begin to feel that special feeling of having survived the winter, those cupid yearnings, to begat their own offspring, as the spring moves languidly into summer, we, the few, prepare ourselves for what is to be for us known as the feckless days.
Immersed within the boundaries of feckless central here, tasked with the dualities of honor vs kiss up to the feckless amongst us, we ponder.
Just how fucked up will the coming days, weeks and months prove to be?
Rampant blatant political chicaneries, pilled thickly upon brazen miscreant mischief, plus the contributions of our third world invaders, plus our mental midget minded managers of all this mayhem, inspire one to maintain stealth mode as best we can.
These are not gonna be the days of wine, nor roses.
One of Barbeque Crew's members was found to be carrying a book. The title was translated to "To Serve Man". The rest of the book initially resisted translation effort.
Finally a breakthrough was made. The book finally fully translated. The courier was to deliver the book to Springfield Illinois.
It was a cookbook.
Like something from the Twilight Zone.
https://www.illinoispolicy.org/vallas-mayor-johnson-should-learn-from-la-that-mansion-tax-is-a-failure/
Vote no on tax increase. Don’t give these fucks another penny or more taxing powers
0110 SAYS: just goes to show just how STUPID Democrats are. They invite all these people here with open arms with their Sanctuary Cities and Sanctuary States, then when they actually come, the Demodopes want them out. Greedy, dysfunctional delusional hypocrites, who lack the judgement and logic to be political leaders. This proves positively that you cannot trust these Imbeciles to run a Kool Aid Stand. Do they even have any idea how much money this costs the American Taxpayers? I doubt it and doubt thy give a shit because it’s not their money.
ba-dum-bum
Thank you.
I'll be here all week.
Try the veal.
Please remember to leave a generous tip for your server.
Bailey said...
Q: Does this mean that a holiday in Haiti will now cost an arm and a leg?
A: Not for the seasoned traveller.
Mike in Canada
3/16/2024 07:03:00 PM
Heard from a friend.Things are so bad with ISP’s 2 failed mergers forcing Dist 5 Joliet and Dist 2 Joliet into Dist Chicago now renamed Troop 3, that forced back patrols are happening on all shifts. Retirements, very small cadet classes and summer violence are coming so don’t expect much from ISP and don’t worry about a gun grab.
The liberal democrats created and voted for this. Let them reap what they sow.
And for them to get to Chicago by boat, they will have to take the route called "The Great Loop". Up the East Coast, through New York City, through Canada, past Ohio, Michigan, N Indiana or Wisconsin, and into Downtown Chicaco.
Should be fun. For some people.
John in Indy
You all need to put the disclaimer that the Babylon bee is a satire website on the post. I’m sure some of your readers don’t realize it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee
"Just can’t give this up, The Camp of the Saints fits our times so well. I’ve never used this, but there appears to be a way to read online for free and this is the edition that came from the Social Contract Press a few years ago."
https://archive.org/details/campofsaints0000rasp/page/352/mode/2up
"Le Camp des Saints is a 1973 French dystopian fiction novel...it depicts the destruction of Western civilization through Third World mass immigration..." (Wikipedia)
I read this over 30 years ago...it's actually happening today. "Fiction", eh?
Pigster could be boiled in his own blubber, and feed a whole village of Haitian cannibals for days ! Big fat Greasy Tub of Blubber !
You all need to put the disclaimer that the Babylon bee is a satire website on the post. I’m sure some of your readers don’t realize it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee
3/17/2024 07:21:00 AM
You're sure, shirley, are you?
Did you need this?
You are a reader, right?
https://archive.is/RRBhJ
Link bypasses the paywall
Chicago Begins Evicting Migrants From Shelters, Citing Strain on Resources
Texas Governor Abbott has promised to bus any and all Haitians to Illinois for some of that "corn fed governor.
They'd die from cholesterol poisoning...
Die DemocTatic SCUM
Sheb Wooley recorded Flying Purple People Eater in 1958.
Mike from Canada is a real Hoser, eh?
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