Rahm, You Naughty Boy

People with money or influence (like politicians) have always done things like this:

• act immoral;
• learn someone in the media got info of the immorality;
• contact the person who was a party to the immorality and - through intermediaries - offer to "buy the rights" to the story for a mutually agreeable sum;
• sign contracts to this effect - non-disclosure agreements

And a compliant media plays along, dismissing other leaks as "mere rumor" or "unsubstantiated." 

Unless it serves "The Narrative" by destroying the immoral person (see Trump trial).

But then this leaks out:

• While testifying in former President Donald Trump’s New York hush money trial Thursday, the former publisher of the National Enquirer reportedly said he buried a story about an alleged affair by Rahm Emanuel before the former two-term Chicago mayor’s first City Hall campaign.

  David Pecker said under oath that he paid $20,000 for the story and then suppressed it, as he did for other celebrities managed by Emanuel’s brother, Hollywood super-agent Ari Emanuel, Politico reported.

  Ari Emanuel approached Pecker about killing the story soon after Rahm Emanuel stepped down as chief of staff to former President Barack Obama, Pecker testified on cross-examination by a Trump attorney.

Because back then, it wouldn't have looked good for Sparklefart's Chief of Staff to have had an extramarital affair. It could lead to uncomfortable questions, like the one that we have:

• who was the lucky guy?

9.5 is currently hiding in Japan, so he's not picking up the phone.