Another Suicide
Didn't we used to get all sorts of notifications when these incidents occurred? Emails from the Supe's office, exempts appearing at Roll Calls, reminders about help being available from various Department resources.
This one flew under our radar:
The death of an off-duty Chicago police officer found Thursday inside a West Loop residence has been ruled a suicide.
The 29-year-old man was found about 2:35 p.m. inside a home in the 1600 block of West Warren Boulevard with a gunshot wound to the head, Chicago police said. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
Autopsy results released Friday ruled his death a suicide, according to the Cook County medical examiner’s office.
He is at least the second CPD officer to have died by suicide this year.
Usually we'd get more than a few e-mails from Officers alerting us to these unfortunate and tragic occurrences. We found out via two, maybe three comments. Granted, we're spending the last of our furlough time at the moment before making a clean break from here, but still....
Has the Department fallen so far that no one is even shocked or saddened by this any more? It's become....expected?
Labels: department issues
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
91 Comments:
There must be something, maybe some many things, to this then primarily his chosen profession.
Superintendent did send an email. Notifications were made.
Don’t believe everything you read on the blog kids.
R.I.P. comrade.
It’s beginning to be so commonplace. Sad
2nd suicide this year?
No, second this month.
Sad
Sending Prayers
We are all grieving silently. No shows or circuses. All of us are aware of the situation
RIP Officer, the demons and pain can’t hurt you anymore. Prayers sent for the Office and family.
Please, if you’re under duress and feel there is no way out please call the available help lines. The job or your private life, though traumatic, may or may not be fixable, but by seeking help you will be better able to cope with whatever is dragging you down. There are people who and who you can count on to lend support to you. Call!
Unfortunately this has become the new norm. I joined this department 23 years ago, and I recall a strong camaraderie across the district. We were a tight bunch and when someone was not feeling their best we found ways to bring them up. I sit in roll call nowadays in complete numbness. All the younger officers seem to only care about being relevant on social media platforms and could care two shits about making any form of conversation with their fellow comrades. Check up on each other, you never know how far a simple conversation can go. Be Safe
“Leaders” like twenty five has threatening the entire watch for activity or else they’ll be brought into her office, doors closed, and demeaned condescended to for why they’re not bringing in numbers for her, ARE THE FUCKING REASON MORALE WILL STAY LOW IN 25 UNTIL SHE SAYS SO.
Then as if in the same breath she waxes philosophically about the pitfalls of vehicle prusuits etc.
“Leadership” like her will obv, only throw you under the bus first chance, AND only cares about her chosen ones and herself.
Exactly like her. This job is shitty enough without all the unneeded BS coming from our own, FOR ACTIVITY!
Where’s the floor for those cops she’s in charge of? “What floor?”
Comes as no surprise, especially if you heard the radio transmission of PO Huesca being found. It’s everyone for themselves at this point sadly. New and old alike, it’s never been this bad
There is many of times I have thought about eating a bullet. I have been there before and fought the pain back. Had many of days where I had more than I could handle. I’m not sure how I didn’t. The B.S. gets so high that it’s overwhelming. I totally understand why it’s happening. I continue to walk among the living but I’m not sure for how long. These officers just couldn’t carry all the B.S. and couldn’t see a better life ahead anymore. I understand! Sometimes there is no other out!
For real SCC, you are wondering if the department gives a fuck about us? Well, guess what, i learned that after 7 years on the job. THE F/1 Sgt. at the medical section let me know the felt dept. don't give a fuck about us
We got an email from the Sup and I myself got dozens of texts shortly after it happened.
Lieutenant Vergarra at Grand Central need to get it through he fucking skull that cops there don’t work for her she wants to yell and scream about bringing in activity she can yell at her chosen Hispanic cops she let’s go home hours early for it then
I got an email from the superintendent the day it happened. It was the one that goes out to everyone with the usual list of resources at the end of it.
The Sup did send an email and it was in the news that night.
May the officers RIP. :(
Who hasn’t thought about suicide on this job. Bosses are so clueless and failed us all…….
McDermott always showed up.
RIP
I agree. Very little mention of this one. Is there something else to it that's being withheld?
As a civilian I have the utmost respect for the work police do. I can't imagine what many of you see and experience in the best of times, let alone in today's fucked up society.
Please take care of yourselves and get the help you need for the sake of your friends and family.
😞
R.I.P.💙
I believe an email statement from Supt. Came out Friday evening 5-6p.m.
there was an e mail
They don’t give a fuck about officers! Just make sure you got those bump cards and no 5.11 pants or were sparring you!!!
Too sad for words.
R.I.P. officer...
If it means anything, there was a blurb of this on 560 WIND "560-the Answer" on 7:30AM newscast on Friday, May 17.
I'm a civilian. Thought I'd be out of place sending this in. I am sorry.
That's what the department and democrats think of us........... return the favor.
What I find just as sad, is that somehow these tragedies still occur after all the "pleading" and asking those in trouble to ask for help. Just reach out... There are always and have been hands to meet someone who reaches for it. I have even heard the stories of a life saved that didn't needlessly have to end. We all have.
Yet, something inside drove these individuals to do what they intended as "the only possible outcome" At this point, you can't fault the department, or the Peer support program, or the chaplain's ministry. The help is out there...
The stakes at the table have been raised lately, but more people are deciding to leave this job, or transfer, or make a lateral move. Which is the smart move, all things considered.
This has always been a pretty thankless job. Crime, Politics, and stress. We do it, then go blow off some steam for a time. Then come back and do it all over again. May G-d help us in that endeavor.
Do whatever you need to do...This job isn't the only gravy train leaving town. Reach out before you act. It is so important to the ones that love you. It is getting harder to say just who is "cut out" for this job in this day and age. There is Zero shame in leaving.
Live, laugh, love, and smile. Ask G-d for help. Then point and smile again.
Just saying...
Prayers for the family.
too many people out there actually falling for all the false stories and reports on how everything is the fault of the police, how the criminals are the real victims of racism, extremism, white supremist, etc, etc.. the democRATS, liberals and soros controll the narrative being shown on the liberal news
they don’t make bosses like they used to. Even bosses kids are not like their parents. SCC that would make a good posts. List the current command and past relatives. i.e. Jill Stevens and her dad. Chris Kennedy and his dad, Cline and his dad, etc.
When are they going to give “Dr.” Sobo his walking papers. He’s more concerned about his well guarded position than the wellness of officers.
We may have idiot bosses, but I did get an email on the suicide.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
When are they going to give “Dr.” Sobo his walking papers. He’s more concerned about his well guarded position than the wellness of officers.
Dr. Sobs can’t keep his mouth shut!
What else can be expected from a department that has its officers witness tragedy and violence on an almost daily basis, yet does little or nothing to help or support them when they need it ? Never yet have heard of any CPD Officer, active OR retired, who has truly been helped by any department program, despite the hype by the politically motivated CPD Leadership. Failure and wasted Taxpayer dollars is all there really is to show for it. Chicago PD has the most suicides of any US Law Enforcement Agency.
The Department is far too much of a political Whorehouse and it causes so much more undue stress upon Officers, who have more than enough stress already. Political decisions made by City Hall, the Mayor, and CPD Brass never once consider how their decisions will affect the Rank & File, only how their decisions will score political points for them in their greedy pursuit of power and control , and brownie points from the corrupt, agenda-driven news media.
Anonymous said...
Superintendent did send an email. Notifications were made.
Don’t believe everything you read on the blog kids.
5/19/2024 12:14:00 AM
Oh boy Supt; don’t overwork yourself.
People have problems in their personal lives. Unfortunately, we have a gun on our hips and in our moments of despair, the wrong decision is made. I have been on this job for over 22 years. I have lost many co-workers to suicide. In each and every one you never saw any deviation from their behavior. The loss of family, relationships, poor finances put stress on us. Being normal whatever that is helps us. Go out and be with people, exercise, read, strengthen your faith. Avoid, alcohol, negative people. Dont forget to laugh and have a sense of humor. Cant be serious 100% of the time. Reading this blog and all the negative posts brings people down. What happened to ultimate tactical warrior and those hilarious posts. Or the hilarious ship voyages from the 25th district. Or those wonderful Don Jerome satire bits. We use to bust each others balls all the time and had a blast doing it.
I agree. They don't make bosses like they used to. A lot of the stress on this job comes from supervisors who make coming to work feel like you're going to the electric chair on a daily basis. Many of them have no clue what they're doing, pretend they care, micro manage grown adults, think their white shirt automatically gets them respect when they don't respect you and they pretend they're trying to make your job better when they're actually making it worse.
I know there’s always bashing of supervisors on here, but there are some places that still have solid supervisors. There’s a lot of different districts and watches to go to. If you are stuck in a place with a shitty supervisor, think about bidding out or to a different watch. It seriously can make all the difference.
Not that many years ago, we were surprised, shocked that this is happened, now it is so common place in the public. There is approximately 70 suicide every single day in this country, but it affects personally myself more when it is a member of my family, whether it’s my close, family or my Blue family. None of us can understand what gets into somebody’s heads however, how many people now even coppers are addicted to anxiety medication’s? How many doctors are over prescribing this crap to the children not saying this has anything to do with it, but it seems like the newer generation are on medication‘s constantly. Does this have something to do with it? Or let’s go with the elephant in the room something to do with the Covid kill shot? May he rest in peace these issues must be address
Anonymous said...
May the officers RIP. :(
Who hasn’t thought about suicide on this job. Bosses are so clueless and failed us all…….
5/19/2024 05:50:00 AM
In thirty years never had the inkling to harm oneself but on more than one occasion had the urge to do away with a few meritorious 'supervisory' hacks...
The Supe sent one email. The department is not doing that good when it comes to officers wellness. A officer with two yeas on the job probably had hopes of becoming the police at some point. He just recently got off of probation.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
We are all grieving silently. No shows or circuses. All of us are aware of the situation
But what are “we” doing about it? Start by promoting better bosses that could mentor the rank and file.
As we head into the summer months, the Department begins its cancellations of RDOs for officers so that they cannot make memories with their families during the holidays and weekends when children are not in school… The meritorious clouted, who are promoted beyond their reading levels, know of only cancelling days off. Homicides and shooting are still prevalent with all the days off that are cancelled. This “strategy” doesn’t work, but it’s the only thing Management knows how to do during warm months.
So again, thank you CPD and the city for putting people in charge who have zero clue on how to handle these violent people.
Hypocrisy about caring about Mental Health and then in the same breath taking officers away from their children, spouses, and families will make this problem grow exponentially.
Get out when you can. We are nothing but a footnote, or a media opportunity for all the brass and government agencies.
Stay safe everyone.
16 May 2024
Dear Members,
Today we are mourning the loss of an off-duty officer. Officers responded to his residence following a 911 call and discovered him unresponsive. This officer began his career at CPD two years ago and was detailed to the Training & Support Group. This is devastating news and a shock to those who worked with him. Please keep his family, and his family here at CPD, in your prayers as they navigate his tragic loss.
The Department has resources available to you 24/7 through the Employee Assistance Program, which can be reached at (312) 743-0378. Peer Support and the Chaplains Ministry are also always available to you. I know it can be difficult to proactively reach out for help, so I ask that you look out for those around you and check in with each other. Each person experiences loss and grief differently, but we must support each other through this.
Larry Snelling
Superintendent of Police
“Anonymous said...
There is many of times I have thought about eating a bullet. I have been there before and fought the pain back. Had many of days where I had more than I could handle. I’m not sure how I didn’t. The B.S. gets so high that it’s overwhelming. I totally understand why it’s happening. I continue to walk among the living but I’m not sure for how long. These officers just couldn’t carry all the B.S. and couldn’t see a better life ahead anymore. I understand! Sometimes there is no other out!
5/19/2024 02:19:00 AM”
There is always another way out, ALWAYS! Even when you don’t see it. Please my Brother or Sister, just live one day at a time, tomorrow will take care of itself tomorrow. Keep fighting and find your peace in the Lord. Give it ALL to HIM, HE will get you through one day at a time, and you won’t realize it.
Never give up!
Never give in!
You can do this!
You are loved by people you don’t even know!
God Bless You!
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
Conehead promised to hire 1,000 civilians to respond to calls of domestic disturbances,mental health calls to allow police officers to concentrate on criminal incidents. Not westside baby mama drama.
Where are the two hundred Detectives he promised to add to CPD budgeted positions.
He’s so over his head,he runs away from female reporters.
He is also allowing unqualified officers to be promoted to Sgt., Lt.,Captain and Commander.
Where is Chuck Goufie, we need real reporters to call him out.
These officers just couldn’t carry all the B.S. and couldn’t see a better life ahead anymore. I understand! Sometimes there is no other out!
5/19/2024 02:19:00 AM
BULLSHIT!! Guys, please for the love of God, don't listen to this crap. There is ALWAYS another way!
For those of you crying about your LT expecting you to work while you’re at work, you’ve never worked for a real boss. If you don’t like Fran you have options. No one cares your feelings are hurt. The hardest part of this job nowadays is showing up. You have no clue.
It's Captain to you, lowly blue shirt.
Anonymous said...
Lieutenant Vergarra at Grand Central need to get it through he fucking skull that cops there don’t work for her she wants to yell and scream about bringing in activity she can yell at her chosen Hispanic cops she let’s go home hours early for it then
5/19/2024 03:48:00 AM
Doubt it was “the job” that consumed this kid. He had 2 years on and was assigned to the training support group or whatever it’s called, a sweet spot for any copper, especially with no time otj. He wasn’t in the trenches, per se. His demons still beat him, and that’s a fuckin shame. RIP.
Anonymous said...
I agree. Very little mention of this one. Is there something else to it that's being withheld?
5/19/2024 05:57:00 AM
I don't think there are any secrets to this one. It was an officer with only a few years on that was working at the academy probably in a quiet spot. At least that is my understanding of it. Not many people seem to have known the officer, especially being so new to the dept and not on the streets to meet other po's, so I believe that is why it has been mentioned so little. Sad stuff.
Anonymous said...
There is many of times I have thought about eating a bullet. I have been there before and fought the pain back. Had many of days where I had more than I could handle. I’m not sure how I didn’t. The B.S. gets so high that it’s overwhelming. I totally understand why it’s happening. I continue to walk among the living but I’m not sure for how long. These officers just couldn’t carry all the B.S. and couldn’t see a better life ahead anymore. I understand! Sometimes there is no other out!
*************
I’m glad you chose to stay another day. If you need a sign to stay alive tonight this is it.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
5/19/2024 03:00:00 PM
Go see your family Doctor. Tell him/her what's going on. They can refer you to counseling, or if needed, medication. Let them know you are the Police and you want to keep it out of the dept. We have good insurance. The dept. does not have to know you are getting help. Its none of their business. If you need some type of medication you will have a prescription. Do not tell the dept. you are on any prescription. Random drug only tests for a couple of drugs. Trust me, its better to do it without the dept. knowing. I've been there.
When you commit suicide, the effects are similar to the scene of a suicide bomber... the people closest to you are hurt the most...
3:00pm please go talk to somebody and work through your issues. There is nothing that you can't get past with time. Don't let this job or marital problems make you do something you can't come back from
I feel like I’m so tired of this job. I want to quit with six years on. I feel so depressed. Not sure how others can make it to 20 or 30 years. I feel like there is no way I can get even two more years. This job is depressing. Bosses are idiots, half the watch is mentally ill, commander has the Lt complaining about activity and we are short Officers. No one cares, just make sure you have the camera on and watch what you say. Oh my god this job sucks so bad. Who isn’t suffering from depression.
This job has turned me into a drinker, granted, I self medicate. I’m not stupid about it. I just don’t care anymore. I’m a functioning drinker and manage to get by. Lost my husband awhile back to a ugly divorce. In the end he couldn’t relate to me or the police culture. Live in an apartment and keep it clean and comfortable. I come here on SCC from time to time. I see a lot of others are hurting too. Killing one’s self is never the answer to any problem. My life sucks but you have to continue to move along. I just got my 20 years on. I came on at 32. As soon as I turn 55 and have the medical I’m retiring and leaving the city. I want to go to a quiet town where crime hardly exists. Drinking might not be the best thing but it provides me with a distraction from a life that sucks. If I get where I can’t get to work I promised someone one I love I’ll get help to stop. I just want to make it to retirement so bad and leave. I’m thinking of all my brothers and sisters on the job and the hurt they are experiencing. Just hang in there and make it to retirement. Retirement is a chance at a second life without the crap.
Anonymous said...
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
5/19/2024 03:00:00 PM
You are not alone brother. I'm sorry to hear about your cheating wife, and a child involved too. Your child needs you to be there as they grow up. Your child is the reason to live. Don't let your wife's cheating bother you or defeat you. She's not worth it and never was. Better today than 20 years from now or after you retire. Thank her for showing her true colors. Focus on you. You are a good person and as much as you don't deserve it, it happened. It's spilt milk. Clean it up. Fix it. Get a very good attorney with experience in pensions and accounting. Don't be cheap about it. Your child needs you. Your child will remember you for your resilience and that is an important thing to teach your child. Divorce is about the money and nothing else. Fight for your pension and deferred comp. Fight for your child.
As far as trying to bid out with only 4 years on, that happens. It's the nature of the job, but you need to change your attitude about it. If this job isn't fun or rewarding where you are with 4 years on, it's time to bid anywhere else. Keep your eye open for other opportunities, keep bidding anywhere else, or look if your skillset is better utilized somewhere else in the department. Despite thinking you need a "phone call" to get places, it's happened before where being in the right place at the right time is just as good or better than a phone call.
You are loved by many, especially your child. Take care of yourself and then think of your child. Tell some friends and talk to them. You will be surprised by how many friends today are experiencing hardships. Talk to a therapist. See a chiropractor because taking care of your physical health will help your mental health. Go for walks. Don't drink alcohol.
Signed, someone who just went through a horrible divorce
Praying for you 🙏🏽
I had to take care of a family member recuperating from an unexpected surgery after a near fatal accident. It involved me moving up a furlo at the last minute, so I had to do a to/from to my Commander, clearly stating my reason for the change- family illness, auto accident. I left town and while there I heard of an officer suicide on CPD a few days before I was to return. It was one of several that year & made national news coverage. The last day of my stay, my family member fell ill with some respiratory infection, this was at height of Covid and they were elderly and still recovering from a major surgery. I was supposed to be at work the next morning. I cancelled my flight & thought I’ll just call work in a.m. & burn CU to make sure my family is ok. Bright and early at 7am, I get a cell call asking me if I’m back because I have to go to “random” drug. We all know it’s never random. I had nothing to worry about, but the irony of my unit never calling me to ask if my family was okay yet put me in for “random” didn’t escape me. Especially when an officer had just killed themselves. Nobody on this department gives a shit if you’re okay, especially your commander. They care about whether you smoked “weed” trying to cope with a major life stress while on your own off time. They care if they can get rid of you for any stupid reason even if you’re just weeks away from retirement. Unless you’re connected - always remember that. 90 percent of these merit hacks promoted got there by running over anyone they could to get that bump..
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
5/19/2024 03:00:00 PM
You say you fathered a son or daughter.
Your son or daughter are your purpose to be here. Period.
Know this and there can be nothing so bothersome to you that can compel you to abandon your child.
Be kinder to each other out there. Support each other. Your always going to have the assholes but keep in mind people are more fragile then they appear. Stop the fucking back stabbing, not everyone was cut out to be super cop. Volunteer to help someone who is overwhelmed on a job.
It may be true that nobody gives a fuck about us but that doesn't mean we dont have to. So be a decent fucking Christian to each other. These suicides are heart breaking.
"Bird Dog"
Doubt it was “the job” that consumed this kid. He had 2 years on and was assigned to the training support group or whatever it’s called, a sweet spot for any copper, especially with no time otj. He wasn’t in the trenches, per se. His demons still beat him, and that’s a fuckin shame. RIP.
Glad someone said it. 2 year and at the academy? Sounds like this may have been a failure by the hiring process
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
5/19/2024 03:00:00 PM
life sucks for the moment… this time next year you will look back and say, how did I get through it? Keep praying, and don’t give up. The good Lord is not giving up on you, do not give up on him or yourself. I will pray for you!!
SCC, prayers for this officer who is reaching out!
The department stigmatizes officers who seek help by putting them in light duty spots. Officers are despondent and sociology damaged as a result of seeing awful things day in day out. With 25 years on the job everyone around me has become more of a cynical and guarded. Not being a psychiatrist or a social worker I wonder how much suicide plays into the job, probably 90% or more.
Officers are hurting and management are failing to identify those who need help. As a Sgt I try to interact with those I work with. Especially the introverts.
Suicide is no joke! Persons who are hurting try to hide what is happening and are generally good at appearing like everything is OK! I have helped many on the job with personal issues and job issues navigate a better outcome. Yes, it’s hard at times with the job. I always loved doing police work and felt that it was harder to deal with management. As a Sgt I try and remember how I felt in various situations. In order to help the officers have less stress doing a tough job! It doesn’t cost anything to talk nice to people, especially the people you work with. You never know what the other person has going on.
I am not placing any blame on our chaplains because I think most of them do an amazing job. Father Brandt and Rabbi Wolf were always available. I retired last year after 27 years on the job and yet I think I met the other chaplains maybe once in passing. Brandt and Wolf are amazing but I think they need to start heading to roll calls and help out. This department has a serious problem and it needs to be addressed.
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
5/19/2024 03:00:00 PM
Then leave the job. The job may be contributing but it seems like you got a whole lot of other problems going on that you need to get help for which you should do. This is only a job, no need to hang onto it for dear life. Kids coming on this job are not mentally built for this job anymore. They see trauma and hopelessness and people don’t like them and their world falls apart because kids these days are told the world is sunshine and rainbows and mommy and daddy always told them how special they were.. now they are at work everyday where people despise them on every call. Me personally?? It never affected me because my parents were hard, taught it to use straight and if we fell outta line we heard about it. Also my parents didn’t shield me from bad situations, if I was young we would learn about it and deal with it. It also helps that I don’t care what people in the community feel about me because I came into this job already hating most of the the people in the communities “I serve”. Oh no, the residents of 011 hate me… eye roll. That somewhat makes my day better when they do hate me. And other peoples misery in these districts for the most part doesn’t bother me. When they are up on a Tuesday night at 1am partying on the corner with kids still out at the party on a school night they don’t care about anything.. they cause most of their own problems and I know that I cannot change a damn thing in their life. We are not Dr Phil’s with badges… we are babysitters and referees in their f*ucked up world until we ourselves can go home. I feel bad for all of your troubles and I hope you are getting the help you need because I’ll tell you, this job shouldn’t get you stressed out one bit. That means you actually take this stuff personally. Don’t take it personally and the “be the change thing” isn’t a real thing.. we aren’t changing these people one bit so stop trying to actually go above and beyond when it comes to interjecting into their lives. If you want it to be a good day, do some Stops and arrest some bad guys.. thats about all that’s good for the community these days because they don’t give a F about their own neighborhood nor should you. And as for bosses and sgts, you’ve got 4 years on… wait till 10 to start beefin about bosses and sgts. Get some help and leave this job. This job is not worth causing you anxiety and stress everyday. This is an incredibly easy job if you actually take to heart what I say above.. it sounds harsh but it’s real. Don’t take this job personally or seriously. Go to work, grab the keys and cruise around and have fun. Stop at a couple jobs, pretend to give a crap, cut some paper and get on with your life until the next call to try and fix the unfixable.. cut paper, go back to your car and cruise and smile.
You say you fathered a son or daughter.
Your son or daughter are your purpose to be here. Period.
Know this and there can be nothing so bothersome to you that can compel you to abandon your child.
5/20/2024 01:39:00 AM
People still convince themselves that their child will be better off without them. Custody issues also weigh into the suicide problem. They don't see suicide as abandoning their child. Suicidal thoughts can't always be countered with logic and reason. Mental illness works against any and all logical arguments. No matter how much sense you make, the suicidal brain will come up with a reason. That's why therapy and medications exist. The trick is getting people to seek that help and follow through with treatment.
I feel like I’m so tired of this job. I want to quit with six years on. I feel so depressed. Not sure how others can make it to 20 or 30 years. I feel like there is no way I can get even two more years. This job is depressing. Bosses are idiots, half the watch is mentally ill, commander has the Lt complaining about activity and we are short Officers. No one cares, just make sure you have the camera on and watch what you say. Oh my god this job sucks so bad. Who isn’t suffering from depression.
5/19/2024 11:06:00 PM
Find another job. You'll be happier. No one should take this job now. The only thing drawing most people to it is the money and benefits. That stuff won't do you any good if you don't survive. Don't let a job ruin your life or make you miserable. There are so many other things you could do besides trying to be the police in an anti-police environment. If you still want to be the police, move somewhere that appreciates the police. Stay away from big cities, even in the South. They all turn liberal as their population grows. Don't try to convince yourself to just make it to 10 years and then find something else, or be miserable for 20 years. Find something else now.
I tried to commit suicide last year. No one knew. Some how I lived. I’m so tired of living and handling the calls on the 3rd watch. I’m trying to get to another district. It’s hard going to work. I can’t bid no where with 4 years. My wife was cheating on me. I was going to count on days, working afterwards. Now I’m going through a divorce. One young child. It’s hard. Work sucks. Life sucks. I have my own problems and go to calls where I hear other’s people problems. I feel like I’m in a hopeless loop. I hate the bosses I work for. They are self centered, don’t know shit and lazy.
5/19/2024 03:00:00 PM
Then leave the job. The job may be contributing but it seems like you got a whole lot of other problems going on that you need to get help for which you should do. This is only a job, no need to hang onto it for dear life. Kids coming on this job are not mentally built for this job anymore. They see trauma and hopelessness and people don’t like them and their world falls apart because kids these days are told the world is sunshine and rainbows and mommy and daddy always told them how special they were.. now they are at work everyday where people despise them on every call. Me personally?? It never affected me because my parents were hard, taught it to use straight and if we fell outta line we heard about it. Also my parents didn’t shield me from bad situations, if I was young we would learn about it and deal with it. It also helps that I don’t care what people in the community feel about me because I came into this job already hating most of the the people in the communities “I serve”. Oh no, the residents of 011 hate me… eye roll. That somewhat makes my day better when they do hate me. And other peoples misery in these districts for the most part doesn’t bother me. When they are up on a Tuesday night at 1am partying on the corner with kids still out at the party on a school night they don’t care about anything.. they cause most of their own problems and I know that I cannot change a damn thing in their life. We are not Dr Phil’s with badges… we are babysitters and referees in their f*ucked up world until we ourselves can go home. I feel bad for all of your troubles and I hope you are getting the help you need because I’ll tell you, this job shouldn’t get you stressed out one bit. That means you actually take this stuff personally. Don’t take it personally and the “be the change thing” isn’t a real thing.. we aren’t changing these people one bit so stop trying to actually go above and beyond when it comes to interjecting into their lives. If you want it to be a good day, do some Stops and arrest some bad guys.. thats about all that’s good for the community these days because they don’t give a F about their own neighborhood nor should you. And as for bosses and sgts, you’ve got 4 years on… wait till 10 to start beefin about bosses and sgts. Get some help and leave this job. This job is not worth causing you anxiety and stress everyday. This is an incredibly easy job if you actually take to heart what I say above.. it sounds harsh but it’s real. Don’t take this job personally or seriously. Go to work, grab the keys and cruise around and have fun. Stop at a couple jobs, pretend to give a crap, cut some paper and get on with your life until the next call to try and fix the unfixable.. cut paper, go back to your car and cruise and smile.
Sound advice. Hit the nail on the head. When work is done, take time for yourself (gym, church, concert etc. etc.). On the days you have your child, that is what you live for and love him/her as much as possible. There is your reward. Finally, collect your checks and retire one day.
You can either feed the flesh or feed your spirit. Live a Godly life. Help those you can. Pray for those that need it. Have faith in yourself and God. Don't worry about things that you can't control. Ordinary people are capable of extraordinary things.
I hate to say this but it may only get worse. The youth of today don't know how to communicate. Social Media is going to destroy this Country. People hide their faces in their phones and believe it's the real world. They can't handle social situations or life experiences because everything is done with their faces in a phone. Try to correct a newer Officer today. They run and tell a supervisor they are being mistreated because nobody has ever told them to their face they are doing something incorrectly. This has to be addressed in the Academy or this will be a regular occurrence on this job.
I feel for the officer. Plain as I can say it.
I think most people who harm themselves have issues prior to or outside the job that they came on with. This job is easier than ever now. All you have to do is show up on time, in uniform and respond to your jobs. That’s it! If you can’t handle that and your other personal problems are burdening you further then quit. See if the private sector gives a crap about you either. The economy is tanking and this is still a great paying job. Be grateful.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
May the officers RIP. :(
Who hasn’t thought about suicide on this job. Bosses are so clueless and failed us all…….
5/19/2024 05:50:00 AM
I can honestly say I haven't. I've been bummed out, pissed off, and seriously contemplated punching a specific lieutenant in the face (but didn't). In the end, I focused my energies on what would make me happy in retirement and worked on getting there.
5/20/2024 07:43:00 am
I have to agree with most of what you said. All in all, good advice.
No cheating bitch is worth committing suicide.
You not cut for the job ? Leave then , there are plenty careers out there. Married a wrong person- leave there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Once you exit there’s no way back.
Pray sometimes, might help a lot.
Sorry for roughness!!!
i do not have clout dont drink and dont smoke
i found to let off pressure a pair boxing glovers and punching at the gym and m-fing all the clouted incompetent
bosses works wonders
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I had to take care of a family member recuperating from an unexpected surgery after a near fatal accident. It involved me moving up a furlo at the last minute, so I had to do a to/from to my Commander, clearly stating my reason for the change- family illness, auto accident. I left town and while there I heard of an officer suicide on CPD a few days before I was to return. It was one of several that year & made national news coverage. The last day of my stay, my family member fell ill with some respiratory infection, this was at height of Covid and they were elderly and still recovering from a major surgery. I was supposed to be at work the next morning. I cancelled my flight & thought I’ll just call work in a.m. & burn CU to make sure my family is ok. Bright and early at 7am, I get a cell call asking me if I’m back because I have to go to “random” drug. We all know it’s never random. I had nothing to worry about, but the irony of my unit never calling me to ask if my family was okay yet put me in for “random” didn’t escape me. Especially when an officer had just killed themselves. Nobody on this department gives a shit if you’re okay, especially your commander. They care about whether you smoked “weed” trying to cope with a major life stress while on your own off time. They care if they can get rid of you for any stupid reason even if you’re just weeks away from retirement. Unless you’re connected - always remember that. 90 percent of these merit hacks promoted got there by running over anyone they could to get that bump..
5/20/2024 01:22:00 AM
So your unit accommodate your request to change your furlo?
You think your unit can just snap fingers and get you piss tested?
And then you “will just call and drop CU”? Got it.
You sound entitled.
If your home life isn’t squared away (wife doesn’t work, is a whackjob etc) you’re gonna be in for a world of hurt taking this job today. Remember your next mistake can = fired and or jail. No wonder so many coppers are doing this or are on the brink of doing this they don’t see a way out.
If your home life isn’t squared away (wife doesn’t work, is a whackjob etc) you’re gonna be in for a world of hurt taking this job today. Remember your next mistake can = fired and or jail. No wonder so many coppers are doing this or are on the brink of doing this they don’t see a way out.
5/20/2024 03:17:00 PM
wife doesn't work = "life not squared away?" weird... my wife staying home saved our marriage and keeps me happy to come home. nothing more squared away then having the wife do the wife stuff and you getting to come home to play Archie Bunker in your chair in front of the tv- just like on tv!
The job gets to me, sure, but I count my blessings. My old man really worked for a living, all I do is pretend. All my kids are as conservative as we are, and the son-in-law is too, so no meathead on our sitcom.
20/2024 01:22:00 AM
So your unit accommodate your request to change your furlo?
You think your unit can just snap fingers and get you piss tested?
And then you “will just call and drop CU”? Got it.
You sound entitled.
5/20/2024 03:07:00 PM
A parent almost dies in an auto crash & a request to move a furlo up to be with them is entitled? You’re exactly everything wrong with the department and I’d wager a multiple merit.
5/21/2024 12:28:00 AM
Nah, learn to read bruh.
The furlo got moved, didn’t it? But then we wanna complain about thinking the unit can just request to get you piss tested.
And oh, yeah. I will just not come back when I’m due to come back and call off in the morn.
Yeah. I said what I said. Entitled.
Better hope she don’t come for half bud or you’re going to be in for a world of hurt. You’re not special and wouldn’t be the first it’s happened to either.
If you are depressed and don’t like the job, Quit and save your life.
This is just a job, not a career.
The sooner you quit, the happier you’ll be.
You can do better than CPD.
Who hasn’t thought about suicide on this job. Bosses are so clueless and failed us all…….
Me and about everyone I know on the job. The job is not easy and you have to make concessions. Everyone one that took this job should have known what to expect. Did they think days, week ends, summer furlo and an inside spot
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