Saturday, May 25, 2024

Contrarian Article

Our old friends over at The Chicago Contrarian had their own take on the recent BS in Springfield renaming offenders into "justice-impacted individuals" and ran with some even goofier re-namings:

  • Carjack: "Unplanned Vehicle Redistributor" (UVR)

    Murder: "Permanent Conflict Resolver" (PCR)

    Assault: "Personal Space Violator" (PSV)

    Rape: "Non-Consensual Intimacy Exchanger" (NCIE)

    Theft: "Unilateral Asset Reallocator" (UAR)

    Kidnap: "Involuntary Relocation Specialist" (IRS)

    Arson: "Unplanned Property Renovator" (UPR)

There are even more over there, so swing by and read it all.

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34 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

People keep voting for these nuts and pay no attention to what these politicians are doing!

5/25/2024 12:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's NO way this is real?!

5/25/2024 12:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If a tshirt is ever made, put me down for one.

5/25/2024 12:49:00 AM  
Anonymous J. Backstabvich@541 said...

“There are even more over there, so swing by and read it all.”


Uuuhhhhh…. Hard pass on this. Marty is an attention starved nerd whose writing style and story telling turns my stomach. Which means I’ll have to double down on meals on the FLOP Platinum Card. Pretty soon even Hercules won’t be able to move this dunlop belly.

5/25/2024 01:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe a way to inform B.J., Pritzker, their goons, etc. that they need to go and familiarize themselves with fundamentally understood common knowledge is to tell them - "go f.u.c.k. yourselves."

5/25/2024 02:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They got one for "move out of the state"?

5/25/2024 02:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Minor attracted person
Pizza G

5/25/2024 05:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That’s some funny shit which will be the norm in the not so distant future

5/25/2024 06:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you murder someone in the ghetto you should be called a "Carbon Consumer Disposer"

5/25/2024 07:13:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. SouthSide said...

Gotta love the Contrarian.

5/25/2024 07:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In these blue states, the police are the enemy and yet who have coppers who write other coppers for bullshit. When you are at the DNC trying to hold the line, look to your left and to your right. The only ones to help you there are your Brothers and no one else! Wake up !!!

5/25/2024 07:47:00 AM  
Blogger Old Guy said...

Kudos to the Contrarian, I was getting tears in my eyes laughing 😂 for the first time since retiring 29 years ago . BRAVO!

5/25/2024 08:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uuuhhhhh…. Hard pass on this. Marty is an attention starved nerd whose writing style and story telling turns my stomach. Which means I’ll have to double down on meals on the FLOP Platinum Card. Pretty soon even Hercules won’t be able to move this dunlop belly.

5/25/2024 01:59:00 AM


The ability and variety of the subjects upon which you can conjur up some 'connection' to attribute to this nemesis of yours is becoming so impressive, you may even have earned some keeeeeeeses.........

5/25/2024 09:31:00 AM  
Blogger A fan of the blog said...

And if a bomb goes off, you won't be allowed to call it an explosion. You'll have to say there was a Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly.

5/25/2024 09:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Libs really are a group of simpletons that have way too much time on their hands.

5/25/2024 10:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT -Congrats to George Floyd 4 years sober today

5/25/2024 11:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you murder someone in the ghetto, that’s a Crime Fighter.

5/25/2024 11:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your local drug dealer could be called "A mood elevation specialist"

5/25/2024 11:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Repeated burglaries of businesses are committed by Relocation Influencers.

5/25/2024 12:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prison: Temporary involuntary assigned justice housing.

Warrant: unintentional awareness in court issued writ and self accountability.

Weapon: unauthorized handed tool of physical contact

Probable cause: Justice driven factual observation of disproportionate community control action.

Felony: Ceiling charge of great merit and
review of innocence qualifiers.





5/25/2024 12:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More truth, if you’re getting a pension just to let you know, make sure you mail that letter back to the pension board because they are very serious. People got caught stealing our benefits. If you don’t send it back, they will withhold your pension check get it notarized get it in the mail immediately.

5/25/2024 12:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember when the woke kids were getting pounded by bullies? We laughed and laughed. We just need to bring back the bullies.

5/25/2024 02:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is the Contrarian giving ideas to libtards? The libtards take these ideas seriously.

5/25/2024 03:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drug Dealing POS: Intersectional Undocumented Pharmacist

Gang Banger: Community Conflict Resolution Specialist

Homeless Mental: Cross-dimensional Communication Technician

Sewer Worker: Subterranean Aquatic Engineer (ob ref: The Honeymooners!)

Stone Cold Gang Assassin: Community Conflict Resolution Expert

Chop Shop Operator: Vehicle Recycling Logistics Manager

Loosie Seller: Entrepreneurial Tobacco Distributor

5/25/2024 03:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drug dealers - unlicensed pharmacists.

5/25/2024 04:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bank Robbery - Personal Loan Specialist
Rape - Intimacy Interventionist

5/25/2024 08:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap no wonder all the bosses are melting down. An accurate count of 5800 able bodied officers to deal with 200,000 protesters. In 1968 we at least had the backing of our politicians and sufficient manpower to deal with anarchy. Now anarchy and insanity outnumber our CPD badily with 0 concern.

5/25/2024 10:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Mary Gill. I'm sure B.G is thrilled for all that you've done.

5/26/2024 09:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



“More truth, if you’re getting a pension just to let you know, make sure you mail that letter back to the pension board because they are very serious. People got caught stealing our benefits. If you don’t send it back, they will withhold your pension check get it notarized get it in the mail immediately”


Don’t be cheap. Pay the extra money.
Send it back ‘certified registered with receipt.’ Ask a sgt how to do it. Sgt has to do it for most CRs.
That way you can prove date, time and who received it.




5/26/2024 11:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

George replaced Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima as role models for black kids.
Best the AA have , three large funerals for Floyd,none forboir loved ones because of hoax covid.

5/26/2024 11:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eat shit liberals

5/26/2024 12:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prostitute=S.R.S. Sperm retrieval specialists

5/26/2024 08:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Police use deadly force to prevent a threat of death or great bodily harm by a criminal armed with a baseball bat,knife,board or gun and these same people want the police officer fired,charged with a crime.
Unless it’s a black officer off duty that shoots an unarmed mentally challenged teen or black officer on duty shoots an unarmed female for trespassing on federal property. That is ok

5/26/2024 10:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trust The Science?

diminishing public trust in universities, which are increasingly seen as businesses rather than educational institutions. This perception is fueled by incidents where universities, driven by financial incentives, overlook academic fraud.


217 year old Wiley science publisher has reportedly "peer reviewed" more than 11,000 papers that were determined to be fake without ever noticing. The papers were referred to as "naked gobbledygook sandwiches", Australian blogger Jo Nova wrote on her blog last week.

"It’s not just a scam, it’s an industry," she said. "Who knew, academic journals were a $30 billion dollar industry?"

According to Nova's post, professional cheating services are employing AI to craft seemingly "original" academic papers by shuffling around words. For instance, terms like "breast cancer" morphed into "bosom peril," and a "naïve Bayes" classifier turns into "gullible Bayes."

Similarly, in one paper, an ant colony was bizarrely rebranded as an "underground creepy crawly state."

The misuse of terminology extends to machine learning, where a 'random forest' is whimsically translated to 'irregular backwoods' or 'arbitrary timberland'.

Nova writes that shockingly, these papers undergo peer review without any rigorous human oversight, allowing egregious errors, like converting 'local average energy' to 'territorial normal vitality', to slip through.


The publisher Wiley has confessed that fraudulent activities have rendered 19 of its journals so compromised that they must be shuttered.

The problem is only becoming more urgent. The recent explosion of artificial intelligence raises the stakes even further. A researcher at University College London recently found more than 1 per cent of all scientific articles published last year, some 60,000 papers, were likely written by a computer.

In some sectors, it’s worse. Almost one out of every five computer science papers published in the past four years may not have been written by humans.

Read the entire piece...

https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trust-sciencethat-just-retracted-11000-peer-reviewed-papers

5/27/2024 04:36:00 AM  

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