Yes, Please
From that famous publication, The Onion:
CHICAGO—Dismissing concerns that funds were being mismanaged, the Chicago Police Department vigorously defended its decision this week to buy an entire fleet of 1967 Ferraris.
“We will use these babies to keep the community safe, and we will look badass while doing so,” said Chicago Police Superintendent Larry Snelling, who was facing steep criticism for the department’s decision to spend nearly one-third of its $2 billion annual budget on a fleet of 300 1967 Ferrari 275 GTB/4s. “To those who accuse us of spending extravagantly, I say to you: 300-horsepower, V-12 engine. There’s nothing wasteful about one of the most gorgeous vehicles of all time. Plus, these patrol cars are absolutely imperative for impressing our lady friends.”
At press time, every member of the police department had reportedly totaled their Ferrari after driving into a tree.
The photo is amusing:
We certainly hope the crashed vehicles weren't involved in chasing anyone.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
17 Comments:
The Onion realizes this could be possible under the current Gold Star leadership and current politicians running the city Chicago. Every good joke has a bit of truth to it.
Useless for chasing anyone because...
NO!
Make that a kit car.
Hah, if anything, they'd be part of the CTU demands. You'll get nothing and like it....
One of the most beautiful sounding engines. Music to a gear-head's ears.
Oooo I like that!!!!
Looks like a '53 Studebaker Super Hawk!
I want one.
Remember, cops are not supposed to laugh or have fun anymore. Look around any roll call in any district, any unit, any watch. Coppers sitting in silence playing with their phone. Just hoping they’re not the next Van Dike. Just hoping their useless, spineless, supervisors won’t make their tour a nightmare. The thing is the supervisors are hoping the same thing. And now summer is here. Say goodbye to time off. Say good bye to a life. Say good bye to your family’s (for those who actually care about them). Say hello to an endless stream of cortisol and anxiety. This is what you signed up for. Stop bitching about it. You could always go get a real job.
In 1967 it would of had a single gumball.
Even though this newspaper is all satire, the biggest truth from the article is that we would crash all the cars. We do that now so what would change?
The mid 1960s had some of the prettiest cars ever.
The is a 1967 Ferrari 330 GTC. the are worth about 500K each. Go for it Chicago they don't make parts for it any more, and least Ferrari doesn't. In the spirit of this posting CPD officers can make a good living selling off the car parts. when you could get thousands of dollars for the cars interior sitting on a folding chair would work.
This was very funny.
I loved “the Onion” humor magazine.
But...
Sigh....
I ve heard word that the usual suspects have purchased “The Onion “ same as they now own, run all the Hollywood studios including Disney, same as they took over National Review and The Atlantic Magazine.
These people will most certainly make the changes they always do , no more making fun of marginalized groups, more Trump and MAGA bashing .
Woke PC humor by committee is rarely funny ...
Sigh
Jr
That’s a vehicle appropriate to seat the derrière of Pussy Galore. 🍑
Don’t support the onion
The is a 1967 Ferrari 330 GTC. the are worth about 500K each. Go for it Chicago they don't make parts for it any more, and least Ferrari doesn't. In the spirit of this posting CPD officers can make a good living selling off the car parts. when you could get thousands of dollars for the cars interior sitting on a folding chair would work.
5/10/2024 10:35:00 AM
Hey, look at this guy! He believed the obvious satire. Or he's just trying to show his expert knowledge of Ferrari vehicles. Great job, buddy!
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