"Not My Pants!"
At the Academy, a training scenario got a little too real....and then it turned into a whole bunch of stupid:
A Chicago Police Department recruit was taken into custody after another recruit found bags of real crack cocaine in his pants pocket during a narcotics arrest training scenario, according to an internal report reviewed by CWBChicago.
Upon being confronted about the eight baggies of crack found in his cargo pants pocket, the 24-year-old allegedly replied, “These aren’t my pants.”
According to the report, around 10:30 a.m. Monday, a trainer gave the recruit a small baggie decorated with blue stars that contained simulated heroin for “scenario based training involving narcotics related offenses.” Another recruit was instructed to perform a custodial search while the trainer observed and critiqued his performance, the report said.
While searching the subject’s cargo pants, the recruit conducting the search found a clear knotted baggie containing four small zip baggies decorated with green dollar signs, each containing suspected crack cocaine, according to the report.
Knowing that the phony drugs provided for training were in a blue-starred baggie, the trainer asked the trainee what the knotted baggie contained. “That’s nothing, that’s just garbage,” the recruit allegedly replied.
How many times have we made those jokes?
- "This isn't my car."
- "That ain't my gun."
- "Those aren't my pants."
And here it is, happening in reality. Here's the arrest report narrative (click for larger picture):
Labels: un-fucking-believable
posted by SCC at 12:04 AM
191 Comments:
The only thing worse is reading a General Offense Case Report in all CAPS.
It's so good to be a retired sergeant. 🤣
Hey Bud. Glad I seen this. I didnt know you are supposed to check pockets during a search. Maybe thats why some of my prisoners where found with cell phones,lighters and doing blow in the cells.
Insane, the Officers that I interacted with while I was in the hiring process with CPD were rude and acted like they did not need recruits yet they hire ppl who bring DRUGS into the academy?!? Glad I got on with a different dept smh.
Good help is so hard to find.
Lowering the standards gets these results. Are we surprised? NOPE! Or should I type DOPE! Lol
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=646688835018392&rdid=mEr6zHuXK7PAdAN9
I hope he claims “they put dat shit on me” at his prelim. Ans then he sues the department cuz he wasn’t afforded participation in the narcotics diversion program. Hell, every hype under the sun gets to go for “treatment”, why not this stupid bastard.
As for the PO brother? If he keeps his mouth shut and says dick to IAD, he’ll be just fine. Hell, if Talley can keep her car after it was discovered to be chock full of dope, this stud might have his cargo pants returned cleaned and pressed when all is said done.
This is just the beginning of the ever-evolving shitshow as it pertains to what now populates the ranks of the once mighty and respected CPD.
Oh my !!! 🙈
OT: Our department has become a clown 🤡 show. Multiple calls of offenders with several assault rifles and green lasers by car caravans downtown tearing up the streets. Bt. 4604 too stupid to respond when a request is put for a SORT car to assist in case the bad guys come back. No, they weren't asking you to bring your ballistic shield and long gun to stop a car caravan ya moron, it was to protect your fellow officers who were outmanned and out gunned. You should be dumped back to a foot post in 011.
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1ABnjWNCXo/
I believe him actually. Wearing his brothers pants because he is too cheap to buy his own is classic cpd recruit behavior.
How low can we go? you ask? we have yet to hit rock bottom. wouldnt it be funny if it goes to court, judge finds no PC, and shit head sues and GETS his job back... :)
Recruits wearing cargos in the academy? Maybe he borrowed the brother's 5-11 for the special tact day role play.
Totally falls back on HR. The guy wasn’t vetted well. More of these bad hires will surface in the next ten years. Some of these people are on and working. It’s just going to take time. Disaster for the city.
LOL...
Be the Change....
A new kind of stupid and a stand up guy.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
The boy paid his 9% into my dying pension. Maybe CPD can cut a deal with him and other DEI’s. A tinth of the dope money goes towards the policeman’s pension.
This sounds like a fed set up to see how the supervisors would react.
It’s too late to say the Fox is in the Hen House.
Crushed aspirin that's snorted for faster abortion. You just feel like a player when its in a street baggie
Nothing but the best and brightest for US!!!
Jeeze Louise, I feel for you guys. Isn't there an IQ test or something they have to pass? And how it it you guys never busted him in the past, he has to be the dumbest person in the city...
Who would have ever dreamed that this would be the “change” once they lowered the hiring standards??? 🧐
Is this the 2-6 gangbanger who goes around telling everyone he’s going to be a good cop because he knows where all the guns are at?
you mean the one with the drugs didn't say "you know who my momma, she's your boss"
Parts of that narrative were rather hard to read. Not because I felt bad for the recruit that got caught but because the officer writing it has little knowledge of English grammar.
This guy and the 6th district officers dancing to the gang lyrics while on-duty are exactly who they want on the job. Oh, you have gang affiliations? No problem, we’ll chalk that up as cultural assimilation.
OT: Dolton cop charged with PPP fraud-
https://chicago.suntimes.com/crime/2025/04/21/dolton-police-officer-ppp-fraud-perjury
You mean they actually do police reports at the Academy. Better questions now, how did the new piss test come out. And who did background on this recruit?
He’s got customers to take care of what’s the problem?
DEI hire no doubt
Must be some good market in the academy.
He is supposed to keep his "nose clean", right?
Clear this nonsense up and get this guy back in the Academy as a pension paying CPD member. Three different pregnant women wore my pants at one time or another.
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
The brightest and the best at CPD !
Better response: “It is not what you think it is”. I was training for this class with my girlfriend last night and it is cane sugar.
FIRED and Arrested and do time in jail for a Felony!
Relax !!!!! It's ALL GOOD.....he is Vaccinated !!!!!
WTF are they hiring??!
Love the quality of new hires today.
Dint do nuffin....
Shocking, but not surprising.
What do you expect with the current standards. DEI results
We have entered bizarro world.
Every case report is in all caps.,,,
Assman009 is a legend. The only placard using disabled lockup keeper in the city.Move over grandma, that disabled spot right infront is for assman009,Bud!
100%
As Jed Clampett would say, “Pitiful. Just pitiful.”
In the long run, some of the bad hires will eventually cost the city millions as they resort to past bad behavior.
I have never put some else's pants on by mistake. Never..!
They have to stay for ten years to be vested otherwise they are paid their pension contributions back. And knowing the city, they probably lost money on the investment so they’re paying out on losses.
“No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! It wasn't my fault, I swear to God!”
A recruit now has more felony pinches than most of the command staff...
You shouldn't post while drunk.
been out of the game a bit Sarge, when you submit the report now it populates the narrative into all caps.
I smell a future law suit.
This will all end up in the city being sued as well as the recruit and the arrestee getting rich.
You have to remember that the academy instructors wrote this….they have no idea.
If this true why wasn’t this moron reprimanded
He was probably one of the sgts that worked inside his whole career
That copper sounds like an entitled snowflake. The dispatchers are our lifeline when you need help. Glad I'm long gone from that job. Today's coppers aren't anything like the one's hired in the early 90s.
It must be you that can't read
Ron White said:
"You can't fix stupid."
100% agreed. Guy kept asking if offenders were driving in their cars and not stationary. Dude- get your fat ass down here in 001 and help the patrol officers. Wtf
Who wrote that report? Atrocious and embarrassing. Was it an instructor? Should be sent back to patrol. Best and brightest my ass
I hope that happens. Chicago deserves this at this point.
Is he the one with the fully tattooed neck?
The brother will be in real trouble. He's competition for the Tally drug family.
Cap letters is not an issue. One solid block is.
That almost ranks right up there with the time dude popped a warrant on the street after a name check and his response was, "Hey, I'm not me, I'm my brother." (can't make that stuff up)
Why a lengthy investigation? He is an at will employee. You are fired. Case closed
Glad you retired too you STROKE.
You never know. Based upon current command staffing...he may be the next Chief of IAD or even the next 1st Deputy. Let him back on.
The older guys will remember C5.
It’s just the beginning of this. They’ve wanted to do away with certain candidates so that the department reflects by and large the communities CPD has to interact with the most. So, exclusion of some leads to lowered standards for others. Give it 10 years, the amount of corruption and flat out crime will make the old Summerdale, Pac-Man, Sgt. Watts & SOS scandals pale in comparison.
Bro Das nuttin but drywall, i needed to make some gas money to make it to the academy
This is just embarrassing.
And speaking of pants.
It should be a rule that once you retire, the cargo pants get tossed or left in your locker. It is difficult to understand when you see someone who has been retired for a few years, still walking around with those cargos on. I have never seen any of the women wearing those horrible pants after retirement, just the men. Some will say they are working security, but honestly the 5.11 cargos are much more comfortable. It's not like big bird can write you up for wearing 5.11's.
Why are they training at the OLD academy?
They have the brand new shit hole for scenarios.
Every case report is in all caps.,,
..........
Yes.. the department made the system that way because of the illiterate blue shits typing in all lower case.
- - - - - - -
Someone forgot to take them out after a stop
This is going to look reall good on the national stage.
CPD hiring drug dealers to train to be police officers.
What could go wrong?
This city and this department is cooked.
Rather dangerous working with a one legged POS
Yo Yo Talley's pride and joy.
were glad too snowflake
You school them Assman!
Possession is possession and is 9/10 of the law.
You just got caught before you got in Bub
What a ghetto dept CPD has become. No wonder I see PPOs driving a $100,000 Lexus or a BMW into the district lots. And you just know Dude was selling crack rock (and high-capacity pistol magazines and body armor?) before the academy started that day. Guaranteed that this case will get thrown out at pre-trial a couple months from now too as selling dope is seen as a non-violent victimless offense here.
nothing will happen to him another dei hire n will be promoted by merit
A DNA test with only one specific DNA found will settle this matter. His brother's pants?
Maybe his brother is on afternoons. He goes home and gives them to him to wear on 3rd watch.
Most CPS teachers, even retired, are drunks and have been for many many yrs. I know. Believe me! Still to this day.
He was testing the system to see if they found the drugs.
What about some of the females like for example the one in the 18th district becoming a Jehovah’s Witness and refusing to carry a gun and then they get moved into inside spots they should be terminated immediately. If you can’t carry your gun, how many coppers that were injured or whatever they were let go even if they were injured on the job but yet they’re gonna bend over what kind of DEI nonsense is this?
The days of having real leaders such as Jimmy, Mauer, John Townsend, and the rest those days are over now we have a bunch of I don’t know what to say. Maybe just sissies walking around with gold badges.
Im sure this kid had dreams of being on the tack-tickle team...they should look into his brother as well. And, I have never accidentally put on anyone else's pants instead of my own. Inventory the dope, give him back his pants, and fire him.
I stopped caring until they dipped to 2500. Then I got all pissed off again.
Sure. The union will go along with that
You critique the grammar?? What about the PPO with the rocks in his pocket!! Let me guess a merit do nothing desk sgt.
How about you mind your own business?
LOL Who wants to make a bet that by this time next year some young DEI copper will be selling fentanyl and stolen guns out of the trunk of their squad car? Within the next several years some west-side tac team will be selling stolen iPhones and 18-year old pu*** out of the district station salley-port...
They are making close to 100K after 18 months. That's a lot of money for kids living in their parents basement.
So what a ppo has a 100K car! You don't know how they got it! I'm sure you're the idiot who makes stops because "he can't afford that car"! Go work one of your 6 pt jobs you broke bitch
I don’t get the argument. She told him to log back in under the proper unit so she could send the message. Entitled copper decided to make some garbage comment and kick started the issue. They both are ridiculous but a boss on the air should’ve stepped in before even being requested. It’s absolutely embarrassing for the department and OEMC with both of their conducts…
I was gonna ask the same thing…. I remember when you had to wear Class A pants with the brown uniform shirt & tie until you earned the actual uniform. Now they get cargo pants and unpatched blue shirts which make them look like Temu security.
Must be related to a tiny female PO on the Northside recklessly driving a Genesis coupe.
Connected, entitled, and ghetto as well.
If he is super slick, those “rocks” are whoop and he just set them up for a false arrest lawsuit.
If this were to actually play out this way, watch for mandatory field testing to come into play whenever a PO is found to be in possession of suspect narcotics. No more waiting for a negative lab to come back and having the charge dropped at the prelim.
And then when they try for a reduction to “Possession of a Lookalike Substance” is when his shark attorney says he uses it as a training aid away from the Academy.
Stranger things have happened on this job. You newbies ask the dinosaurs about Frank Trigg…
This criminal will be a sergeant in no time
All case reports are in caps moron
The fully tatted neck guy is a different 'banger
Amazing that they fit in certain places.
This POS will just call a 10-1 and put everyone in jeopardy
The suspect narcotics were never even tested yet, shouldn't make assumptions yet, until its conclusive that it is in fact authentic. They will find out that the suspect narcotics was from an earlier training exercise weeks prior, possibly from him or his brother. The bag of "dope" will be found when tested, not to be bona-fide narcotics when it returns from crime lab, just a different baggie used for a training exercise on a prior occasion. Sounds good for media, but more to the story than instant sensationalism.
Pretty bad report writing, especially for someone at the Training Academy. I have heard judges complain about case report writing and court testimony from Chicago Officers as being poor and unprofessional.
WTF …… seriously?
To Quote Nancy Reagan, about 1985: Just say NO!
DEI will be the death of this country. We have all female flight crews for Delta flipping planes, and now CPD recruits bringing a controlled substance into the academy. Inspector Callaghan was right about it being a hell of a price to pay to be stylish.
Did the recruit get to duck for a felony head ??? Did they at least give him an atta boy?.
Anyone go over the air and get a narcotics dispersal at the Academy yet?
How about the New Mexico judge who was harboring illegal Tren de Aqua immigrant...
https://www.yahoo.com/news/judge-resigns-immigrant-alleged-criminal-224805514.html
Anonymous
So what a ppo has a 100K car! You don't know how they got it! I'm sure you're the idiot who makes stops because "he can't afford that car"! Go work one of your 6 pt jobs you broke bitch
4/22/2025 04:54:11 PM
LOL! It looks like someone took offense to a comment! Cut the nonsense out, we all know how they "got" it. Only scoundrels living in a 10K house in the slums buy 100K cars if they just accepted a job as a police officer. Furthermore, why would another officer need to work six part-time jobs to buy the car if you can buy it just entering the academy? Should we check your pockets next ? Ha!
OT: BOZEMAN — Law enforcement are supposed to be people you can trust. But what if I told you getting arrested has turned into something of a game for some Bozeman Police officers? Friday afternoon, a press conference was held at the Bozeman Public Safety Center where this significant issue was discussed.
“Two teams of patrol officers were engaged in a bingo competition. Where success in the game hinged on whether they engaged on actions listed on the bingo card,” says Bozeman Police Chief Jim Veltkamp, who led the press conference.
https://www.kbzk.com/news/local-news/13-bozeman-police-officers-caught-playing-crime-bingo-while-on-duty
Recruits wear BDUs on certain days.
Immigration is going to be the death of the Western civilization.
Don’t forget recruitment. They tell anybody with a heartbeat to apply and bE tHe ChAnGe or whatever stupid logo they use now a days.
The Mayor and Democrat’s have what they want. A screwed up Police Department.
More likely an alderman.
She told him the event number over the air. Why couldn't he write it down? Do the cellphone generation not know how to write with pen and paper? PO was in the wrong.
Sounds like you are rooting for the arrested recruit with your first line... hope you aren't on the job
Send the brother to random drug immediately.
That is up there with dude who thought he had a warrant so he gave his brother's name. Turned out his brother had a warrant but he didn't. We took his prints just to be sure.
Sad thing is, this recruit may have been telling the truth. I'll reserve
judgement until it's all sorted out.
Reminds me of the guy I stopped with a crack pipe in his shirt pocket. He said the shirt belonged to his sister. I said "what about the crack pipe?" He said "that's mine."
Frank Trigg was a good man. He trusted his girlfriend too much. ;-)
All case reports are in caps moron
4/22/2025 05:23:35 PM
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
YES, reading is a skill ass-hat.
The reason the department has the program in all CAPS is because the dip shit coppers would type it in a small case letters.
It's bad enough they can't put a sentence together in a 6th grade CPS manner.
One of MANY reasons I left you half-wit morons and this department.
The majority of you don't even register to vote. You deserve what you get.
YES, the sergeant realizes that in May of 2006, Deputy Chief Jonathan LEWIN who was in charge of developing the Automated case reporting system made a clear statement; The average officer that will be typing these reports does NOT have the proper use of the English language. They have poor spelling, poor grammar and it's best if the are generated in all capital letters because the reports would otherwise look like a nightmare.
CPD is one of the only departments that have reports in all CAPS.
A complete laughing stock. This is why they have coppers with rocks in their pockets and have guns hanging upside down on their side.
Keep votin' demo-crat for MORE of the same.
Squad, we got one for PCS, we’ll get our own number.
Who remembers where that number comes from?
Typing in all caps is low IQ. And no the new case reports don't automatically go into caps locks. Are you all really this dumb?
^^ Keep working for department and city that hates you and be miserable
The booger sugar coated cooter.
What union. He has no Union protection. He’s a recruit.
Keep wearing the pants. Keeep wearing the pants and ride the CTA trains looking for trouble. Hero’s are always on duty even after retirement.
America
This is the best comment in this thread!
Billie Costigan type shit
Dudes 100k car is actually 3 years old with 240k miles and a 42% APR that he got at the Arab corner lot for his tax return as a dp.
Anybody who thinks most shit heads who sell dope are driving 100k cars is clueless.
Even if you are going to wear someone else's pants, don't you wash them first..?
Not even your sister’s?
May I suggest wording for the award:
While on aggressive patrol at the Chicago Police Academy, Training Officer X and Recruit Y conducted a narcotics investigation under the ruse of a "Narcotics Training Scenario." The offender, also known as Recruit Q, volunteered himself for the scenario. Dummy narcotics were given to Q who placed them in his pocket. Recruit Y then conducted a field interview of the offender who consented to a "custodial search". Recruit Y then recovered suspect narcotics from offender's pants pocket. The offender never denied ownership of the narcotics, he only denied ownership of the pants he was wearing. Offender was placed into custody. Thanks to the aggressive patrol actions, keen observation skills, and knowledge of sub-standard humans, another dangerous Recruit was removed from the future rolls of the Chicago Police Department. Thank you for a job well done!
An activist judge will rule "No Probable cause" because the person doing the search wasn't a real police officer. Then the recruit will be reinstated, and all will be forgotten..
I see piss tests in recruits brother's future.
Why the f--k are you making excuses for this goof? A PPO should have enough brains to make sure he/she is 100% correct in everything they do. If it is fake and this asshole put it in he=is pocket he should be fired just for being a contrary moron. Idiots like you making excuses for stupid or illegal behavior are one of the reasons this stuff keeps happening. You screw up, you need to suffer the consequences. Very simple principle.
Do you believe that excuse on the street too? They are in his pockets, on his person, in his possession. Period. Good luck ever getting out of patrol.
That is wrong ?
Caps are OK if that's the requirement, however my 6th grade Dominican Nun would have beat the shit out of me over that punctuation, grammar and sentence structure.
Living with her fambly still on the Westside
It doesnt have to be a real police officer doing the search.
Call the Ad desk.
Patrol supervisors don't want him back. Tired of his bad reports...
Retired here...I burned all my shit.Reefer and all.it was very cathertic.
+1
So says the person who doesn't make arrests.
This recruit is on the wrong side of the Blue Line. His excuse is right from the ghetto. Who wears someone else's pants, and if one would, they would check the pockets first. No excuses. This is one who should NOT wear the badge.
That’s why the recruits are called PPOs. Play police officers. Oh Lord.
So?
Do you think they throw out cases when a nurse finds narcotics in the emergency room? You probably haven't spent alot of time in a courtroom.
I doubt this commenter is in patrol. Sounds like a house mouse.
Sounds like a set up to get him fired. I don’t trust anything’s the IAD touches. How many of you have conducted a scenario using fake blue baggies or any look~alike substance?
All case report populates to all caps.
When did they start going hands on in a search. What happened to “cut play?”
Sounds fishy: Why are academy instructors teaching recruits to search for dope? Why are they planting blue bags with stars on recruits. Why are scenarios hands on? When did scenarios include searching pockets? Whatever happened to cut play? Scenarios are no contact right? It’s obvious that the academy instructors set the whole thing up and used another recruit to find it,
I hope he claims sexual harassment, because thru shouldn’t have touched him near his pocket area.
Hell, drugs were found in First Deputy Superintendent Talley’s personal vehicle and nothing happened. She used the exact same excuse. She denied having knowledge just like this lad.
he/she probably knows the brother dummie
The person doing the search was a sworn officer. The recruitgc was searching the recruit looking for drugs. No weapon mentioned.
All he needs is a good attorney.
The lengthy investigation is because the CPD brother was thrown into the mix by the recruit.
Fired, yes, jailed for some rocks? Dream on...not in Cook County. He wont even get an ankle bracelet.
Wasn’t
Good point.
Never!
Most likely a set up.
Agreed!
We have to get rid of him. There’s no room for him in Chicago. This is Talley’s dope set.
Because they no the courts are going to throw it out immediately, especially if there was no footage.
They better have it all on camera, since they charged him with a felony.
Well, someone at the academy should speak up.
I believe the recruit.
Once he discovered the baggies, he should’ve read miranda before asking what is this? This will be tossed in court.
When did they start using look-alike substances in scenarios?
Why? Po testimony isn’t any good. Doubt the have every recruit wearing a camera
Wrong
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