Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Want To Be A Reverend?

Now you can be self righteous, holier-than-though and demand all sorts of favors from the mayor and aldercreatures! And the best part is, they have to kow-tow to you if they want your congregation to keep voting for them:
Right there on the front page, not one, two or three, but FOUR LINKS for free on-line ordination.

Just click, apply and they'll send you a .pdf Certificate of Ordination suitable for framing. All that's left for you to do is build a following and extort the City for a few contracts, maybe some $1 vacant lots in an up-and-coming neighborhood, and a few jobs over at the CTA.

It's at least as legit as "reverend" Al Sharpton's "Divinity" qualifications.

Labels:

34 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Universal Life Church is as legitimate a way of becoming a minister as most of these men of the cloth. Bobby Rush is a Reverend? Please! I wish the Sun Times would run a story on how most of these scam artists got their titles.

Pallidin

10/23/2007 12:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NOW THAT I'M A REV. MY PEOPLE WILL NOT BE HELD DOWN! EXCEPT BY ME. LET THE BOYCOTTS BEGIN!
BY THE WAY KMA CLUB THERE WILL NOW BE THE UUUU CLUB NOW FORMING IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS, "WE WILL BE UNITED!"
THE UNWILLING
LED BY THE UNQUALIFIED
DOING THE UNNECESSARY
FOR THE UNGRATEFUL
I'M PRESSIN' MY THREE PIECE SUIT AS WE SPEAK,LADIES WEAR YOUR BEST DRESS!
CAN YOU IMAGINE DALEY AND SHARPTONS FACES SEEING 9000 PEOPLE WITH PUP TENTS READY TO CAMP OUT WITH REV AS CO-REVS OF THE UNITED CHURCH OF OH MY GAWD! "OH HAPPY DAYS!

10/23/2007 01:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate them all!

10/23/2007 05:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Herad LITTLE DICK daley applied...

10/23/2007 07:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not free. $14.95 for the Mini Clergy Package!!

10/23/2007 08:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people's business.

Jesse Ventura

10/23/2007 08:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5000 people visit here.
5000 people have just become reverends.

10/23/2007 08:53:00 AM  
Anonymous avalanche andy said...

Ive just been ordained. SWEET!!!

10/23/2007 09:42:00 AM  
Anonymous the rock said...

sweet baby jesus!!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

10/23/2007 09:43:00 AM  
Anonymous lunch box steve said...

God Bless the Green Bay Packers!!!

10/23/2007 09:44:00 AM  
Anonymous you know the deal said...

I cant be ordained yet i have to many cr numbers

10/23/2007 09:46:00 AM  
Anonymous meathead mario said...

you know how much side ass i can get being a minister!

10/23/2007 09:47:00 AM  
Anonymous nick the stick said...

hey jagoff give me 14.95 and I can solve all your problems...haha jagoff

10/23/2007 09:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN$$$$$

10/23/2007 10:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'online confession,' isn't that from a bad sci-fi movie?

10/23/2007 10:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this could work then we set up a dirty storefront church "your home" and then we get all money "tax free", plus no property taxes on our churches would this work?

10/23/2007 10:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really think EVERY CPD should sign up and become a Reverend!

10/23/2007 10:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does the media even report anything Sharpton says. He has no credibility what so ever. He is a complete phony in ever respect. He never studied for , or received a degree to be a reverend. He was appointed a reverend when he was 7 years old by a family friend. He comes to Chicago and talks about police corruption, and how the police are like the Gestapo after the SOS scandel. Interesting that he never set up a branch of his movement here after the 015th District scandel in the late 90's involving the indictment of P.O. "Pac Man" Jackson and other 015th District tact coppers. Never heard a word from him after Corey Flagg, Broderick Jones, Eural Black, and several other 007th District coppers were indicted about three years ago. Why not Al? Oh, that's right. Those coppers were all black, and not one of the accussed SOS guys is black. You can't have selective outrage and be taken seriuosly.

10/23/2007 10:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They become reverends so they can open their little 5 person ghetto church and become tax exempt. Its a fact. Not a bad idea, church in my basement at 0800 cold 40's will be served, who's in?

10/23/2007 11:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't tell, but for a christmas gift i'm certifying all my friends as reverends!

10/23/2007 12:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did it! You can NOW address me as REVEREND!

Yahoo, no more taxes, it's all free money now.

I just ordered one of those CV plates for my pickup. And ordered two of those CLERGY bumper stickers from E-BAY.

+ Stay safe and have a Blessed Day +

10/23/2007 12:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I sent you that idea over a month ago....

10/23/2007 12:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

It's not free. $14.95 for the Mini Clergy Package!!

10/23/2007 08:13:00 AM


Time to learn and read...
its free

10/23/2007 12:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get the dual packeage....
rap artist school and da goot reverent both fo 29 ninnee fih


ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww goot lowd das a latta munneeez

10/23/2007 03:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am now officially a reverend. I get great benes reading this blog.

Religiously,

MinisterP (Not a cop)

10/23/2007 03:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does the department have a ribbon for my uniform for becoming a Reverend?

It should be light blue with a white dove and a gold cross.

10/23/2007 07:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All y'all. Stop hoopin and hollerin in my churches... muthafuckas. Now let me get a muthafuckin amen!!!

10/23/2007 07:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great! Now that I'm a reverend, I'm going to open my store front M.B. church somewhere on madison, between the other 50 already there within a 2 block radius. I will tell my congregation to call ops and make a complaint of police misconduct if they or someone on the block gets arrested. I will tell the sheep, er uh, the congregation that whitey and the police are the root of all the black peoples problem. I will continue to inform them that it's ok to not have a job and when in doubt, blame the white man and police. I will take a cut from the dealers slinging in front of my church(listening in you INVESTIGATIVE REPORTERS?????). I will meet with high ranking police officals in order for my sheep,ooppps, there it is again, uh congregation, to park wherever they want and cause huge congestion problems. I will meet with the alderman and donate to his campaign so that if there is any heat from the police for my little operation, I have the alderman in my back pocket who can put the clamps on the commander who in turn does what he is told because he doesn't want to loose his spot even though the commander should and by G.O. be devoid of any politics but won't because he or she is a coward pussy. I will continue to take "donations" from my people. I will extort the drug dealers because I used to be a 5 star universal convicted felon, but now a M.B. reverend. If the poolice stop me in a all black area for a traffic violation, I will drop the race card and tell the liberal police hating media that I was stopped because I was racially profilied. Then the supt. will hug and kiss on me and fuck over his own officer for me,even though the officer did nothing wrong, all because I have the power of the press and a large mouth with a reverend license I got online but was annointed at 7.

10/23/2007 07:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does the media even report anything Sharpton says. He has no credibility what so ever. He is a complete phony in ever respect.
-----------------------------------
HONESTLY,BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU PAY ATTENTION TO HIM.

10/23/2007 08:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we walkin' wit Jesus today....

10/23/2007 09:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HONESTLY,BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU PAY ATTENTION TO HIM.

10/23/2007 08:07:00 PM

It's hard not to when his ugly fat face is on the first or second page of the paper everyday or on the news.

I have to admit, it's going to be interesting to watch this supposed rift between Jackson and Sharpton play out. On one hand, if Sharpton is going to make his mark on Chicago makes sense he would have to go after the big dog. On the other hand, it's probably all a bunch of bullshit and they are really blowing each other.

10/23/2007 09:31:00 PM  
Blogger Chi-Town Di said...

I'm an "ir-reverend" and think that hiding behind a cloak of religiosity is just plain disgusting. Who you pray to, who you sleep with and what you eat is NOT my business. It's high time people saw beyond the veil and realized that one person's religion is another person's way of getting around the law. Wasn't Bobby Rush a Black Panther, or am I just smoking the wrong substance? Don't get this little white girl started on Luis Gutierrez either! A village recently sent out an APB on him!

10/24/2007 11:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
All y'all. Stop hoopin and hollerin in my churches... muthafuckas. Now let me get a muthafuckin amen!!!

10/23/2007 07:02:00 PM

AAMMMEEENNN......MUFUCKA!!!
HERES MY DONATION....A $20...SHIT LEMME GET SOME CHANGE....2-10S,A 5 8 SINGLES...YEAH THATS ENOUGH....SHIT LEMME TRADE THIS 10 IN SORRY BABY...YEAH 2-5S, 3 SINGLES....OH YEAH AND THE 20 I STARTED WITH....SHEEIITT I LIKES CHURCH!!!!!!!!!

10/25/2007 04:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a typical Chicago reverend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncPtCbBJkFw

10/25/2007 08:34:00 PM  

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